A Night at the Pub

Seamus reached across the table he and Lavender were sharing at the small pub in Belfast and took her hand. "I'll get something for us to drink then?" he asked her.

"Great, Shay. I'll have the usual," she said, and rubbed her thumb over the back of his.

He kissed her hand and set it on the table. "Glass of red it is," he said and walked to the bar.

Seamus had to wait for a short, redheaded woman to get her order before he had a place at the bar to make his. This was a small pub, but a lively one. A man and a woman were in the corner on a tiny stage, he playing a violin, and she beating a bodhran. The woman sang out in her beautiful Irish voice:

"Step we gaily on we go

Heel for heel and toe for toe

Arm in arm and on we go

All for Mairi's wedding"

Seamus smiled at the memory. His cousins had sung it at his wedding, but had replaced "Mairi's" with "Lavender's".

"Glass o' red, Murphy's, and a Tully," he told the barman.

"You're from the south," a voice from his side said.

Seamus turned to face a tall man and his three companions. "Aye, Cill Fhion'ain, Limerick," he said with a smile for the men.

"Where do you stand then, Ireland or Rome."

Seamus let out an exasperated breath. "Listen, lads. I really don't have a side in this. Ireland's Ireland and these troubles don't concern me. I've got no quarrel with you or with the Brits. Now, let me get back to my wife with our drinks."

The men closed around him, and the tall man spoke much more firmly. "You've got to pick a side, man. You're for Ireland or Rome, so do you serve the Antichrist or not?"

Lavender made to rise from her chair but Seamus waved her down with his left hand. "Lads," he said, "let's not do this, shall we?" Lavender grinned, leaned back into her chair and crossed her arms. That's right, Love, he thought. I can handle these idiots. He chuckled to himself and looked back at the men. Besides, with full moon tomorrow night, if she got involved you sad fucks'd be in worse trouble than you can begin to imagine.

"Your drinks. mate." the barman said from behind Seamus.

He turned, paid the barman and took up his drinks. "I've got me lovely wife waiting at the table for me, and you blokes 'd be blocking me way. So, if you'd be so kind…." he said.

The men closed a little tighter and the tall man leaned into Seamus's face. "You'll be in a sorry state if you don't tell us where you stand… Mate!"

Seamus turned and set the drinks down on the bar. "If you lads are spoiling for a fight, you've picked the wrong man, you have. So I'll let you have one more go. Shall we part as friends or not?"

The tall man drew back to take a swing, and Seamus became a blur of hands and legs. He had been sparring with Lavender so much he felt like everything these poor blokes did was in slow motion. Seamus kicked the tall man squarely in the testicles while he elbowed the man behind him in the center of the chest, taking his breath from him. The other two had a second to process what was happening before Seamus had grabbed both their collars and pushed them back ever so slightly. They reacted, as he knew they would, by leaning in, and he took advantage of their motion to bring their heads together with a loud crack. From outside the group of men it appeared as if the tall man had moved his arm and suddenly all four had simply fallen to the floor. Two were unconscious, one was rolling on the floor in pain, and the other was staring upward gasping for breath.

Seamus picked up his and Lavender's drinks. "I'll be carrying on now," he said to the man trying to catch his breath, "so I'd advise you and your friends to find another pub for the night." Seamus moved one of the unconscious men aside with his foot. "There's a good lad," he said, and walked back to a chuckling Lavender.