Well this is my very first fanfic!! Plz review!!!! I did this a while ago, before I got my fanfiction account, so if u recognise any points from other fanfics, plz tell me!!

Emmett Cullen is not allowed to...

Try to convince Rosalie that leaves are 'too green'

Follow Alice around, praising her as the 'Pixie Queen'

Blackmail Edward to do stuff for him or he will break his piano

Get Bella hyper off of juice boxes

Call Edward 'Eddie-kins' or Jasper 'Jazzy-kins'

Try on women's clothes in the change rooms of Target and ask the staff for their opinion

Force feed Jasper human food

Force feed any of his family human food

Squeal like a girl every time a new Harry Potter movie/book comes out

Tell Renesmee that Santa, the Easter bunny or the Tooth Fairy aren't real

Attempt to cook

Go hunting alone with Renesmee (only God knows what he would tell her)

Shout out random words like "CATNIP!" or "ELFIN!"

Bring home random animals and name them

Attempt to touch Rosalie's or Alice's hair

Wake Bella in the middle of the night while Edward's gone hunting and tell her Edwrad's provoked the Volturi and they're coming to Forks

Tell Renesmee that Aro is her real father

Tell Bella that Charlie went for a holiday to Italy and fell in love with Jane

Call Jacob and tell him it's "time for walkies!"

Throw a stick out the window and shout at Jacob to "fetch!"

Tell Jacob that Renesmee's ditched him for Mike Newton

Challenge Mike to a weight lifting contest

Tell Jessica that Mike is in love with Lauren

Attempt to flick an apple up with his foot like Edward

When he hasn't done his homework, tell the teacher "Jasper ate it"

Put up the Christmas tree by himself

Give Jacob a Schmako and pat his belly

Hide the play station from Jasper

Hide all of Rosalie's right shoes

Kidnap Bella and ask for a ransom of 10,000 cookies

Tell Alice she is too short

Drive Edward's Aston Martin down a dirt road, through a corn field, through a paint shop, back home again, and claim he had nothing to do with it

Give Esme a 'Cleaning for Dummies' book for Christmas

Put pigeons in Edward's piano

Wake Bella in the middle of the night saying "I come to suck your blood!" while wearing a black cape and plastic fangs

Disable the lifestyle channel

Tell Jacob he dosen't have to resist the urge to stick his head out the car window

Warn Jacob when there's a full moon

Sing "Sexy Back"

Proclaim that he is bringing "Sexy Back"

Proclaim that he is bringing "Sexy Back" over the school's PA

Steal Edward's Volvo, drive it to New York, then run back and refuse to tell Edward where he put it for no apparant reason

Tell Jasper that Peter and Charlotte have joined the Volturi

Make a voo-doo doll of Jacob

Enter Jacob in a dog obedience trial

Sing ANY Hannah Montana song

Think about singing any Hannah Montana song

Try to dig to China

Buy a karaoke machine

Use it

Touch Alice's Porsche

Dance

Tell Edward that Bella cut her finger and Jasper ate her

Convince Alice that Prada has gone out of business

Go near a computer

Wear Rosalie's clothes to school

Tell the teachers that the clothes are his

And that he is entering in a Beauty Contest

Go trick-or-treating dressed as Harry Potter

Tell everyone that he is the real Harry Potter

Tell Alice she has too many clothes

Attempt to turn marshmallows into vampires

Attempt to turn any food into a vampire

Use this 'vampire food' to attack Jasper or Edward

Take drugs

Be told where Carlisle keeps his drugs

Go to the hospital and steal drugs

Talk to the patients in the hospital

Talk to strangers on the street

Talk to small children

Especially in a creepy voice asking them if they like chocolate

Offer little kids free lollies

Be allowed anywhere near a toaster

Have even the slightest chance to be left at home alone

"Hmm, that should do it," Bella said as she once again pinned up a piece of paper on the Cullen's living room wall, outlining many things that Emmett shouldn't do.

Alice and Edward stood with her, as they scanned through the list. "Oh please let this be the last list," Alice said.

"You know, a lot of this stuff may be things Emmett hasn't even thought of doing... yet, so maybe we're giving him ideas of stuff to do," Edward wondered.

"Or, he could think of it as things he isn't allowed to do or else he'll be banned from coming anywhere near me for at least 7 days," Rosalie said as she walked into the living room.

"You know... maybe - " Suddenly, Bella was inturrupted by a very strange noise coming from the top of the stairs.

"Oh no he didn't," Rosalie said in a low, very irritated voice.

Alice stiffled a giggle.

"Oh dear God," Edward groaned as he covered his eyes with his hand.

There was Emmett, standing at the top of the Cullen's staircase, dressed in a black cape and a black mask, quietly saying "dananananana dananananana," to himself.

Jasper, Carlisle and Esme walked into the living room to see what all the noise was about.

When Esme noticed Emmett, all she did was calmly turn around, and walk back into the kitchen, with Carlisle close behind, the look on his face saying 'I really don't want to know'.

Jasper hit his hand on his forehead. "Oh no," he muttered to himself.

Edward read Jasper's mind, and turned to him with the darkest of all dark looks on his face. He then let out a deep growl from his throat.

Bella, Alice and Rosalie looked between Edward and Jasper with puzzled looks on their faces.

"What?" Rosalie asked, her voice telling the others she was in no mood for keeping secrets.

Edward let out a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You tell them" he said to Jasper.

Jasper had a sheepish look on his face. "Well... when Emmett and I went to the DVD store yesterday... we kinda bought the Dark Knight, that new Batman movie...and all Emmett did last night was watch it over... and over... and over."

Rosalie talked through clenched teeth. "You...what? You... you bought a Batman movie?" Then she exploded. She launched herself at Jasper. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT WOULD DO TO EMMETT FOR HIM TO WATCH A BATMAN MOVIE? DO YOU??!!!"

Jasper sprinted off with Rosalie close behind.

While all this was happening, Emmett just stood at the stairs patiently. Alice, Bella and Edward sighed and turned slowly around to Emmett at the top of the stairs again.

Alice had a pleading look on her face. "Emmett please don't do this."

All Emmett did was smile evilly, then explode down the stairs. "DANANANANANANANA BATMAN! DANANANANANANANA BATMAN!" He shouted as he ran around the house.

Bella sighed again and took the pen from Edward. She wrote:

75. Emmett Cullen is never EVER allowed to wear a black cape and a black mask, and run around the house...

Emmett then exploded out of the front door, and ran down the driveway, still shouting, now at the top of his lungs.

Bella added one extra part: ....or anywhere in public, singing the theme tune to Batman... or any other super hero he can think of.