Wow, This is my first tmnt fanfiction. I'm all excited, ever since inspiration hit.

This is in Mikey's P.O.V., and I don't give everything away in the first chapter, so you'll have to be patient.

Okay, to be completely honest with you, I have no idea what's going on. The last thing I remember was going out to pick up some pizzas, and now I find myself waking up to complete darkness. I'm not even sure if I am awake, but I know for certain I'm not dreaming- if I was dreaming then at least something interesting would be happening, but there's nothing.

Where am I?

I should probably feel panicked right about now, but for some reason the darkness doesn't scare me- strange considering I use to be really afraid of the dark when we were all kids, and am still a little spooked by it sometimes. This darkness isn't scary or creepy though, it's just empty- It's just a bunch of nothingness. I can't help but wonder if it's the reason I feel so detached from everything, almost like I'm floating- I'm not really sure if this place has a floor or ceiling, it feels so surreal.

How did I get here?

I know I'm not exactly a genius or anything - that's always been Donnie's thing- but I've never felt more clueless than I do now.

Did something happen?

Where are my brothers?

I know I should be worried, and a part of me is, but my thoughts seem to drift away almost as soon as I think them. I'm starting to think Leo was right about me needing to learn to focus better, 'cause this is seriously messed up.

I try to raise my arm, to get up, to do anything, but I can't. I feel so light and yet I can't seem to move an inch, I can't even feel myself trying.

What the shell is going on?

"Mikey.."

Ah! Okay, If I felt like I had control of my body right now, I would so be jumping out of my skin. Leo's voice just came out nowhere and-wait-Leo!

'Leo! Leo, where are you?'

It's strange to hear my voice, I don't think I even opened my mouth, and my words are soon swallowed up by the darkness around me.

"Mikey…I'm sorry'

Sorry? What's he talking about? And where is he? It sounds like he's right beside me, but I don't see him, I don't see anything. And is it just me, or does Leo's voice sound kind of rough? Like he hasn't slept in days, or like he's been…crying?

"I should have been there."

Okay, now I'm starting to panic- that was Leo's I'm-blaming-myself-for-something- horrible-even-though-it's-not-my-fault voice. Something's happened, something bad, and it obviously has to do with me- probably the reason for where I am now.

"This is all my fault."

What's his-Oh shell, am I…am I dead?! Oh my god, I'm dead and now I'm in some kind of strange limbo where I'll be forced to stay the rest of my afterlife, haunted by the mourning words of my family. Oh shell, oh shell, oh shell!

"I'm suppose to protect you, look out for you,… and I failed." I can hear his sorrow harden into self hate at his last few words.

Okay, I'm gonna skip right past panicking and go straight for denial. I am not dead- never mind the fact that I'm floating in a dark abyss unable to move or talk- I am not dead. Nope. Not dead.

"I swear I'll make it up to you," leo promises. "No matter what it takes."

Wait….make it up to me? As in…I might actually still be alive in order for him to make good on the promise?

"I won't let anything ever happen to you again. To any of you." he continued. "I'll be there next time, Mikey, I swear."

Next time?…Yes! I am alive. Hooray for denial!

But…wait..what happened? What's Leo talking about then? And if I'm not dead then….what is going on?

I wait and listen, and Leo is soon talking again in that sad thoughtful voice that lets me know the whatever did happen, Leo is taking all the blame.

"I'm not sure what to do." he confesses, and for moment I wonder if this really is Leo talking. "Every lead I get turns into a dead in, Donnie's been researching night and day with little results, and Raph…"

He sighs in hopeless frustration.

"Raph won't even talk to us. He keeps running off and getting into fights like that's some how going to make it all better and.." he lets out a frustrated huff and when he speaks again his voice is calm. "I know it's just 'cause he's worried, he hates feeling helpless just as much as I do."

Man, I feel seriously out of the loop. How long have I been..um..wherever I am? A while from the sounds of it, especially for Leo to sound so defeated. Whatevers wrong with me is pretty serious from the sounds of it, and yet…I'm not really in any pain at all.

"Things have been…hard these last few days." he admits. "It's been so quiet and tense around here. We really need you, Mikey."

Okay, so at least I know now that I've been out for a few days, but if Leo keeps going on like this he's going to send me on some kind of guilt trip. I mean, I'm flattered an all too, but seriously.

"I can't believe I let this happen."

Great, now he's back to blaming himself.

"I should have known something was wrong."

Ugh, if only he could hear me then I'd tell him to stop beating himself up, I'd tell he has nothing to be sorry for- even if I can't remember what he's apologizing for in the first place. I know Leo well enough to know he'd do anything to protect me, and so I know that whatever did happen to me must have been out of his control.

Geesh, Leo takes this Leader thing way to serious- he thinks he's responsible for everything.

"It's not just about being the leader, ya know. It's about being a big brother too."

Whoa, it's like he read my mind. Freaky. But I guess he knows me well enough to know what I'd say to him if I could.

"Sometimes I'm just not sure I'm good at either one."

Okay, am I in some kind of parallel dimension? Or has Leo just lost his mind? He's an amazing leader, and a terrific big brother. How could he think otherwise?

"I know you guys look up to me, expect me to have all the answers. Even Raph does sometimes, although he'll deny it." he sighs, "But you're all wrong-I'm not perfect, I don't have all the answers. I just always hoped that you wouldn't figure it out, because as unworthy as I am, I was honored by your faith in me."

Whoa, Leo's really pouring his heart out here. I never thought I'd hear him admit to anything like this. He hates looking weak in front of us.

Wait a minute. Duh, He must think I can't hear him.

"You were the first one to call me 'fearless leader'," Leo says, his tone wistful. "Donnie's only said it a couple times, and Raph only says it when he's being sarcastic or condescending, but…but when you say it, it's like you really mean it."

I do mean it. Sure, I still think it's a kind of funny nickname, but it suits him.

"You really believe that, don't you? That I'm not afraid of anything."

I don't know what to say to that, 'cause I don't think I've ever seen Leo afraid of anything for more than two seconds, and only if that something catches him off guard. He's battled countless foot soldiers, aliens, and creatures from other dimensions, and he never falters.

"The truth is I'm scared all the time."

What the? Okay, who turned the crazy on? What is Leo talking about?

"I'm terrified that something might happen to one of you guys, afraid that I won't be able to protect you, that I'll let you down." he pauses. "Anytime you've ever seen me run into danger, put my life on the line for you guys without a second thought, it's not because I'm fearless- it's because I'm more afraid of what would happen if I didn't."

Whoa. Even if I was able to talk to Leo, I'm pretty sure I'd be speechless at this point. . He seriously should have told us this sooner, I think even Raph would have to respect that. And if Leo thinks that this will somehow lower him in our eyes, he's dead wrong.

"I'm scared right now, mikey,"

It's strange hearing my usually confident big brother tell me this, his voice so hushed I almost have to strain to hear him.

"It scares me to see you like this." he says, "Not knowing how to help you, or if you'll ever get better."

If? What does he mean by 'if'?

"I won't give up though. I know you're strong, and you'll pull through this," his voice is sure again, and it does provide me with some comfort among my distress. "You'll find your way back to us, and when you do I'll make good on my promise."

Find my way back? What- hey what's that?…it's feels like…like someones gripping my hand. Leo! It's faint, although I know his grip is probably tight, it feels distant. Leo really is right beside me though, so..

"Wake up soon, little brother."

Wake up?! Are you kidding me! I'm asleep?!

No, that can't be right, I'm definitely awake but…

Aw crud.

I'm trapped inside my own head?

This dark emptiness is what's inside my head?

Man, Raph would have a field day with that.

Okay so there was a lot of Leo in this, I know. I'm planning on having all his brothers talk to Mikey, one brother for each chapter, and then maybe master splinter if I feel up to it.

I'll slowly drop hints as to what happened as I go, or I might even wait til the last chapter as a big reveal. We'll see.

This is my first story in this fandom, so please leave me a review to let me know how I did.

Was mikey or leo too OOC?