The Zoo: Down in the barracks the Penguins liked to call home, the four military brats were resting soundly in their bunks.

Until…

"HEY YO! HEY YO! HEY YOU!" came a muffled noise, somehow still audible despite several feet of reinforced concrete making up the walls of their room. Skipper's bloodshot eyes shot open as he briefly reacquainted himself with his surroundings before groaning. He looked at his wings wistfully, wishing for the thousandth time that they were strong enough to strangle that accursed next door lemur. But for the thousandth time, he knew it was impossible and dwelling on it wouldn't make the day any better.

"Rank and file, boys!" he ordered as he knew his fellow soldiers were also well awake. Black and white blurs immediately arced through the air as the Penguins stood side by side. And then Skipper immediately stepped forward.

"Kowalski, clipboard!" he requested as the tallest penguin of the group slapped it into his hands. "Okay, roll call. Kowalski?"

"Present and accounted for, Skipper!" came the resident genius's voice despite the fact that Skipper already knew he was there.

"Private?" Skipper continued as he made a check mark next to Kowalski's name.

"Always glad to be here, Skip!" came the youngest member's emphatic voice. Skipper always smiled at the youngling's enthusiasm for the job, it lifted all of the team's spirits whenever they were down.

"And Rico?" Skipper asked for.

Silence.

Skipper stopped briefly before looking back at the clipboard and seeing no check mark next to the equipment officer's name.

"Rico?" Skipper repeated.

Still more silence.

The three Penguins contemplated this briefly before turning their heads and looking at the bunks only to see Rico still in his with his back to them.

"C'mon soldier, this is no time for R&R we have work to do!" Skipper said as he and the others approached Rico's bunk.

Still no movement.

"Fine, don't blame me for this, you brought it on yourself," Skipper grumbled. He reached up and pulled on Rico's shoulder and the penguin flipped onto his back with his tongue hanging out and his eyes starring blankly into space.

"AAHHH!!! AAAAHHH!!! AAAHHH!!!" shouted Private in terror as he ran around in circles. The other two penguins were less emotional, though no less disturbed.

"It doesn't seem possible," Skipper pondered. Kowalski meanwhile was furiously moving beads on his abacus as he made notes on his clipboard.

"And according to my calculations, it isn't," he responded. Skipper turned to face him skeptically.

"Look, I'm as much an optimist as the next penguin, but how can you say…"

COUGH COUGH COUGH

The two turned their heads to see Rico's body convulsing as he was now coughing heavily.

"Ah," said Skipper nodding his head. "Ease down, corporal, ease down! You're just sick."

Rico leaned back in his bunk and leaned back before briefly coughing again. Private meanwhile had also calmed down, though he was now resting across the room from lack of energy.

"Better get the team medic," Skipper ordered to Kowalski.

Silence.

"Sir, Rico is our medic," Kowalski revealed. Skipper did a double take at this.

"He is?" he said in stunned disbelief.

"Yes sir, seeing as he has all the medical supplies in his gullet," Kowalski continued. The team leader pondered this briefly.

"Guess that explains the stick of dynamite he gave me back when I had this hiccups," he realized before patting Rico on the head. "Cheer up, Rico, I'm sure whatever medicine you have in their will cure you in no time. Until then, get plenty of bed rest, that's an order."

Rico turned to look at his commanding officer before smiling briefly and giving a weak thumb's up. Skipper smiled briefly before turning to his team.

"Up top, now!" he barked.

Outside: The three penguins were now in their habitat. Private was swimming around in the waters while Kowalski sat on the concrete slab outside with Skipper pacing behind him.

"This is a problem," Skipper admitted worriedly. "How are we supposed to do our daily routine when we're short a fourth man?"

"It is a problem Skipper," the genius confirmed as he made more movement of his beads. "According to this there is no way we can accomplish today's tasks with only three members."

"And we can't postpone either because it'd throw off the whole schedule!" Skipper lamented as he pulled out his calendar and then put it back away…where it went even Kowalski couldn't figure out.

"Hi guys!" came an enthusiastic voice behind him. Skipper straightened up.

"Intruder! Defensive position beta-alpha-fiver!" he ordered as the penguins snapped into formation, only for it to involve a diamond form that was missing the lower element without Rico and all three subsequently crashed to the ground.

"Oh, for the love of-this just isn't working!" Skipper said disgustedly as he rolled his eyes.

"Umm, what isn't working, Skip?" came the unknown voice from earlier. Skipper recalled where he was and snapped up his wings defensively. But then he saw Marlene and his whole body slumped down.

"My kingdom for a worthy adversary," he said on the verge of tears.

"There is no one more worthy for everything in this world than me! That is why I am king!" came Julien's distant voice. Skipper growled to the heavens before stalking off.

"What's eating him?" asked Marlene confused. "It's not worms is it?"

Kowalski debated using his abacus to see if this may also have been a reason but decided to just answer the question.

"The Skipper is just upset that Rico is not feeling well and as a result we cannot perform our scheduled training maneuvers with only three of us," he answered.

"Oh," said Marlene now understanding. "Well why don't you get a temp?"

Skipper stopped and looked back at her absurdly.

"Our temperature is fine, it's Rico who's sick!" he declared exasperated. Marlene groaned.

"I meant a temporary replacement so you can have four members until Rico gets better," she filled in. "Remember when our favorite zookeeper got sick and they had that new guy come until she got better?"

"Yes," said Skipper nodding his head with a malicious grin. "Chemical warfare at it's finest! We sure showed her."

Marlene eyed him oddly before choosing to ignore his strange comment. "Anyway, I don't see why you couldn't do the same."

Skipper wanted to shrug her idea off as absurd, but he did have to agree that it had merit.

"But even so, where would we find someone on such short notice to fill in? We can't just draft someone these days," he stated. Kowalski nodded his head, but still began scratching down possible candidates on his trust clipboard.

"Though we have had members temporarily join our team before Skipper," Private pointed out still in the water. Skipper nodded his head.

"And I know of at least someone who'd be willing to join your team, Skipper," said Marlene coyly. Skipper looked at her confused before realization hit him.

"Of course, it's perfect!" he exclaimed as a big smile cross Marlene's face. "Mort would be perfect for our outfit!"

"Well thank you Skip, I…," began Marlene before she recognized what he had said. "Wait, MORT?!?!"

"Of course," said Skipper excited at the idea. "He's the youngest of the lemurs and could easily be swayed to our side. And without him, those other two would turn on each other and spin out of control, thus ridding ourselves of them forever. It's like hitting two humans with one brick."

"A statistical improbability Skipper," Kowalski commented. "However, the analogy is sound."

"Well let's go get him then! Nothing can ruin our day now." said Skipper heading off with the others and leaving behind a steamed Marlene. But before they could leave the enclosure…

"I said let go of my foot!" shouted Julien from a far before a small brown streak rocketed off into the horizon.

"And there goes Mort…," said Skipper knowingly before holding his head in his wings. Marlene perked up at this.

"Well I still have a suggestion," she continued. The trio of penguins looked at her.

"Out with it woman, who?" demanded Skipper. Marlene threw out her arms and feet and tail.

"Ta da!" she announced.

A pair of crickets moved past the enclosure.

"So who's your suggestion?" Skipper continued obliviously. Marlene's eyes narrowed at him.

"Me, you dolt!" she declared. The three penguins looked at her dumbfounded before each began laughing.

"What's so funny?" she demanded angrily. The three penguins managed to contain their laughter before facing her.

"We can't take a female into a potentially armed combat situation!" Skipper declared. Marlene put her hands on her hips.

"And why not?" she asked, clearly not buying his statement. Skipper stood straight up.

"Because…ummm…Kowalski?" Skipper requested. Kowalski looked at him uncertainly as rational thought again began to enter his head.

"Actually Skipper, on the basis of gender we cannot reasonably exclude her," he revealed. Skipper blinked and stared at him and even Marlene was a little surprised at the response.

"What?" Skipper said in shock. Kowalski pulled out a recruiting pamphlet for the human armed forces.

"Equal opportunity has been a part of the armed forces for awhile now, Skip," the genius said as he pointed out the relevant sections of the document. "And if we were to refuse her based on gender alone, we'd potentially be subject for court martial."

Skipper's jaw hung down at that as the smile returned to her face.

"Guess that solves it then," she said before adding slyly. "Unless you want to lose your post..."

"Never!" roared Skipper. "You want in, fine. Just don't come crying to me when things get tough. Troops roll out!"

The penguins slid off as Marlene chased after them.

As the day rolled on, Marlene was schooled in various arts of the Penguin. From sword dueling, to how to escape being trapped by ropes and everything else needed to triumph in the line of duty.

Later: As the sun was slowly setting, the Penguins came to a halt back in their enclosure and waited silently.

"C'mon, cadet, hurry up!" shouted Skipper as he brandished a stopwatch. "Time's ticking!"

From behind a tree, Marlene appeared and took two wobbly steps before sliding on her belly for a foot or two and then getting back up and taking two more steps and again barely sliding before doing it again and again.

"Ugh, I wasn't designed for this!" she complained bitterly. "I can't run on two feet or slide on my belly for long distances!"

"Well penguins can, so keep moving!" ordered Skipper. Marlene grumbled something she was glad the others couldn't hear and finally made it to the enclosure and collapsed on her belly.

"Is that it?" she said, exhausted. Skipper nodded his head.

"That's it. Troops, dismi-," he began when Kowalski interfered.

"Actually Skipper, there is one last objective on today's agenda," he revealed. Marlene turned over to stare at him in disbelief.

"Which is?" Skipper asked.

"Espionage," Kowalski confirmed as Private nodded his head in anticipation of this event.

"Ah," said Skipper cracking his wings to get out the kinks. "What's today's example of make believe for the field?"

"Romance," answered Kowalski. Skipper nodded his head as Marlene's expression turned to stunned stupor.

"Of what possible use could that be to you?" she inquired. Skipper shrugged his shoulders.

"You never know what you might encounter in the field," he figured. "And at any rate, we added it so Rico could spend some quality time with his girlfriend. So Rico, you're up!"

Silence.

"Rico's still feeling under the weather, Skipper," Private pointed out. Skipper's eyes bugged out at this.

"Then how are we supposed to complete today's training mission?" he demanded. "We can't just skip it either; it's just not how things are done!"

"Then what do you suggest then, sir?" asked Private curious.

"We find a female, first of all," Skipper figured. Marlene desperately wished she could've ran away at this moment, but her body was too pooped to even try.

"Well I guess the cadet will have to do," Skipper said. And then upon noticing her horrified face. "I'm not happy about it either, but we're out of options. And we all have to take one for the team every now and then. The question is, who'll do the 'courting'."

"Well I can't do it, Skipper," said Kowalski waving his flippers. "I'm still trying to catch the eye of the dolphin over in the aquarium and I cannot afford to ruin my chances with wrong perceptions."

"Well we can't have the Private do it, he's just a boy!" protested Skipper. "But that leaves..."

Skipper did some lengthy calculations in his head and his brain nearly exploded when he came to the answer.

"No, no, no!" he declared. "I'm not going to date a fellow member, it's against regulations!"

"The way I see it, we have no choice Skipper," said Kowalski. "And by my math, she's only a temporary cadet which makes the rules bendable in our case."

"Ugh," said Skipper groaning heavily. Marlene laughed hysterically at his predicament.

"Help me up Skipper and let's get this over with," she said bemused. Skipper slapped his forehead and helped the otter up.

"Any snickering will result in solitary confinement," he snapped at his fellow penguins. Kowalski and Private straightened up at that.

"Kowalski, dating manual!" continued Skipper. Marlene looked at him skeptically.

"You guys have a…," she began when a notepad was placed in Skipper's hands.

"Yes. There's SOP for everything," he responded. Marlene cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I can't believe you're seriously going through with this," she said in disbelief as Skipper flipped through the yellow lined pages.

"Yes, now hush," he responded and began to read. "Hello, Sir or Madam, would you like to come with me to the malt shop and partake in some treats made of processed cow's milk?"

"Huh?" said Marlene at a loss. Skipper looked at her perplexed.

"Explain your self cadet," he requested. "This line has a projected eighty percent success rate."

"Wha-!" she began even more shocked before shaking her head to forget he just said that. "Eighty percent, once, maybe, but this isn't the sixties anymore."

Skipper blinked as he read the front of the notepad which clearly indicated that was when these lines had come from. "It isn't?"

Marlene narrowed her eyes at him. "No, it's not."

"Kowalski!" snapped Skipper. "Adjust success rate for the time differential."

"Roger, Skipper," said the other penguin as he made adjustments on his abacus. "Current projections indicate success rate at…five percent."

Marlene laughed at that as Skipper's expression dropped. "But if that was the most successful line in the book… Never mind that, calculate a more modern pickup line."

"You can't calculate romance!" exclaimed Marlene. Kowalski eyed her doubtfully.

"Maybe you can't," he responded as he made multiple calculations a second. Moment later he had a response and whispered it in Skipper's ear.

"Well done," he declared pleased and then turned to Marlene and poured on the charm. "Excuse me miss, I couldn't help but notice you by your lonesome today. Would you by any chance like to join me at the…roller disco?"

Marlene had almost felt something there but the last remark had killed it. "Let me think…no!"

Private broke out into tears. "Now I'll never be good in the art of espionage."

"Buck up, Private, we'll make it through this if it takes all night!" Skipper declared courageously. Private nodded his head and brushed away the tears as Marlene sighed.

"Then in that case, I'd better be the one giving advice or this could take well into tomorrow," said Marlene.

"What would a cadet know about romance?" asked Skipper doubtful. Marlene smirked.

"More than you could ever find in a book of regulations," she responded. "The one thing a woman wants on a date is to be swept off her feet."

"Private, find a broom!"

"Argh!!!"

Nearby: "What are those foolish penguins up to now?" asked King Julien as he view them though the penguin's binoculars that he'd pilfered earlier when they weren't looking.

"Not worshipping your feet like they should!" declared Mort was wrapped around the King's leg once more.

"Yes, yes, that's clear," said Julien distractedly. "But they're not, so what are they doing?"

"I'd guess Skipper was trying to romance Marlene," Maurice figured. "At least judging from the way they're yelling at each other."

"What?!?!" shouted Julien irate. "We cannot let those militaristic penguins make off with the sweet Marlene!"

"Do you even like her?" asked Maurice doubtful. The only thing that lemur truly loved was himself.

"That's not the point," Julien said, confirming Maurice's belief. "Females, and you two, should only grovel at my feet and no one else's! We must do something about this!"

"Fine," Maurice conceded. "But she doesn't look to be doing much groveling."

Below: "What was that for?" asked Skipper as he held his cheek in pain after Marlene had slapped him.

"You know well what that was for," she responded as she held her hand in mild pain from hitting the penguin's thick cranium.

"You should've slapped Kowalski, he's the one who asked for your age," said Skipper before Marlene swung at him again, but now the penguin deftly avoided it.

"It was important for my calculations in determining what things you may like to do," the genius commented.

"You could've just asked what I liked!" exclaimed Marlene. Skipper waved that concern off.

"And waste an opportunity for gaining valuable intel? I would think not," he responded. "Kowalski, results?"

"It indicates that Marlene wants a candlelight dinner with plenty of candy," came the response.

"I don't…," began Marlene immediately before. "Oh wait, I do."

"Ha, victory!" said Skipper pleased. "Make it so, team!"

Kowalski and Private ran off leaving the two alone.

"And bring lots of candy!" Marlene declared.

"Bah!" Skipper retorted. "Candy is unhealthy. …But then again, relationships are also unhealthy…more candy Private!"

"Aye, aye, Skipper!" came the emphatic response from afar. Skipper chuckled at this before turning to Marlene.

"Cadet, I have something to say," he revealed. Marlene turned to look at him.

"I just wanted to thank you for going through with this for the sake of my men," Skipper brought forth. "What they lack in experience they make up in enthusiasm and desire to learn."

Marlene nodded silently. "You really care for them, don't you Skip?"

The Penguin nodded his head. "They're my team and I have to watch out for them. To prepare them for any and all eventualities is why I chose to rise to my current position in the first place. When we're eventually deployed, all we'll have to count on is each other in the field. I've seen way too many poorer trained teams get torn to shreds."

Marlene wondered how much of what Skipper was saying was true and just him imagining worst case scenarios.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check in on Rico," said Skipper waddling off. Marlene gave him a half-hearted smile and watched him vanish below as Private and Kowalski pushed a table onto the concrete island.

"Now, judging by the subject's body mass I would go with the non-white chocolate," she overheard Kowalski saying. Turning around, fire blazed from her eyes as she stared at the two, who looked innocently back at her.

"What did you say?" she roared as her claws extended. The two Penguins looked at each other fearfully.

"I'm scared Kowalski," said Private, shaking in his feet.

"She's escalated to level 'Hath No Fury', now engage evasive maneuver Woman Scorned 1!" Kowalski ordered as the two penguins tore off with Marlene in hot pursuit.

Later: The table was set with a cloth covering it, a non-lit dynamite stick candle holder, and plates with various forks and spoons and knives nearby. Kowalski and Private meanwhile both had black eyes but both stood ready as servers if need be.

"Okay," said Skipper reading through his dinner etiquette manual. "Salad fork, regular fork, soup spoon, regular spoon, this is too much!"

"Why are we even bothering with this stuff, we're animals," said Marlene confused, but realized she had to go through with it regardless. "So what would you prefer to use if not these forks and spoons?"

"Oh, this!" said Skipper slyly as he produced a lengthy katana. "I was awarded this by the Emperor Penguin of Japan for services rendered a few years back. She comes in handy in more ways than one."

He placed the sword on the table and was about to pick up a spoon when it was replaced by something brown.

"Whee, I'm a spoon!" claimed Mort happily. Skipper reared back as he held the small lemur.

"What the-?" he began confused.

"Don't worry, your regal dinner is now officially regal!" came Julien's happy voice as he and Maurice appeared by the table.

"We've been invaded. Defensive position boys!" ordered Skipper. The three penguins leapt onto the table and assumed the position and to her surprise, Marlene reacted on instinct and did as well.

"Oh no," protested Julien as he pulled her off the table. "Beauty should stay away from the beasts my dear."

"Julien, what is going on?" demanded Skipper when the dating etiquette book was pushed in front of him.

"I believe he's playing the jealous third party who does not want to see the coupling succeed. He must not succeed at any cost," Kowalski informed him. An evil smile crossed Skipper's face.

"And here I thought today was going to be boring," the leader responded, pleased.

"For me at least," Julien pointed out. "Now, Maurice!"

The yes-lemur pulled the tablecloth out from under the penguins and they all spilled off into a nearby crate that Mort promptly locked.

"Ah-hah, you silly penguins have lost once again to the great king of the zoo!" said Julien before kicking the crate into the water where it floated along.

"You're going to kill them!" exclaimed Marlene. Julien brushed off her fears.

"They'll be fine," the King figured. "Now, our dinner on the other hand…"

The King sat down and readied himself for the feast that had survived the tablecloth being pulled out from under it. Marlene was forced into her seat by Maurice and then tied to it.

"Maurice, why is this soup cold?" demanded Julien sipping his.

"It's Gazpacho Soup, your highness," responded his right hand man. Julien gave him an annoyed look.

"You know I don't speak Esperanto, just go get it warmed up," said Julien holding up the bowl. Maurice scowled briefly before taking the bowl and heading off. In the crate, the penguins watched what they could.

"Oh boys we've got get out of here!" Skipper roared. "He's eating our soup!"

"Don't you mean heating our soup?" asked Private with a chuckle. Skipper was about to scowl when he broke into a laugh.

"Well done, Private, well done. Courage under fire," he said ruffling the youngling's head. "Now let's go."

"On it Skipper!" said Kowalski. "I calculate that the weakest point is…here!"

Kowalski drilled his beak through the side of the crate, but when he pulled it back, water started pouring in.

"Uh-oh," said the genius. "That was a variable I had not counted on."

The crate started sinking.

"Are we going to die, Skipper?" asked Private cowering in the new water. Skipper shook his head.

"We've been locked in plenty of crates before, this one's no different. Keep pecking boys!" he ordered as the three starting making more holes in the crate as more water came in and it began sinking even faster.

"Julien, they're sinking!" shouted Marlene as the crate was almost entirely under the water now.

"I'll tell you what's sinking!" shouted Julien. "My interest in this meal, where is the entertainment? I demand satisfaction!"

"Yeah?" commented Marlene as she struggled to get loose. "Well I can't get no satisfaction!"

"I am not interested in music, only amusement," said Julien as the crate was now completely underwater.

"Nooo!!!" shouted Marlene. Julien waved it off.

"Good delivery, just not enough emotion to keep me hooked," said Julien. "Maurice, what've you got?"

"Well I've-,"

THHHHHOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

An underwater explosion ripped through the area where the crate had been and threw water everywhere.

"Not quite what I was hoping for Maurice," said Julien nonplussed as he sipped his soup. "But it'll do for now."

"I'm glad you approved," came the voice of someone who was not Maurice. The voice caused Julien to spit out his soup as looked over to see Skipper rise from the water brandishing his katana as Private and Kowalski also rose from the waters next to him. Private was now wielding a kendo stick and Kowalski, a washable marker.

"Oh thank goodness," said Marlene relieved.

"But how-?" began Julien perplexed as Skipper shot him a smile.

"Come now Julien, everyone knows that three's a crowd but four is an army!" he commented. Behind them, Rico rose as well, except he was now wielding a chainsaw and gave a toothy grin of dynamite sticks.

"And Cadet, I'd have thought you'd have escaped your ropes by now," said Skipper disappointed. "I thought we taught you better than that."

Skipper than launched his katana at Marlene who tore free from her ropes and caught it before spinning into a defensive posture of her own.

"Give me a break, I'm new at this!" she responded. "But I'm getting better."

With a flash, she swung the blade and the table split in half and then was immediately surrounded by the penguins.

"Good to see you're alive, Skip," said Marlene pleased. Skipper nodded.

"Well, I couldn't let a good dinner go to waste or a woman's honor," he commented with a grin. Marlene nodded in agreement.

"On that we both agree," she remarked. And with that Julien, stood up from the table and clapped his hands.

"Then my work here is done," he said and started walking off. "Come Maurice, Mort. Grab what candy you can and let's be off."

The trio of lemurs headed off with their haul as the others regarding them curiously.

"What?" they all asked perplexed. Julien turned back to regard them briefly.

"Before you two were arguing, now you are not," was all he said and then the lemurs were gone. "Mort, quit licking my foot, it's not made of chocolate!"

"But I still love it so!!!" came the high pitched response. Behind, the four penguins were clapping hands along with Marlene.

"Well done men, we turned a boring hostile situation in a violent non-hostile situation," said Skipper pleased. "All in all, the end to a perfect day. I'd say we're done here, let's clean up and get some shut eye. Marlene, this concludes our date, you're free to go."

Marlene looked at Skipper for a few moments before speaking up.

"This isn't the end," she said shaking her head. Skipper looked at her curiously.

"It's not?" he asked. Marlene shook her head again.

"Kowalski, how are dates supposed to end according to the manual?" she asked. The genius pulled out the manual and read it.

"Ah yes, all dates must end with the ceremonial kiss," he revealed. Skipper's eyes bugged out at that as Marlene also looked shocked.

"What?!" they shouted in unison. Kowalski shrugged.

"It is tradition," he continued. Skipper groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he lamented. "I apologize, Cadet, but fraternization among officers is usually frowned upon, but in this case I'm forced to make an exception. Cadet, avert your eyes."

"But Skipper I…," the young penguin protested.

"Kowalski!" ordered the leader as the genius covered the private's eyes. Skipper turned to face Marlene and gave her a brief smile as she looked back at him perplexed. And then the penguin's expression dropped and he held his head down in shame and turned away.

"No," he said somberly and slowly walked off. The others expressions turned confused at this, none more so than Marlene's.

"But Skipper, we have to complete the training," Private protested. Skipper looked at him saddened.

"But at what cost? We nearly died today and for what, to train and then date a volunteer who we drove into the ground and got into a hostage situation?" he said, disgusted. "No. Everything has limits and we just met ours. Let's go home men, we're done here."

The group was waddling away when Marlene stepped in.

"I think I still have a say in this," she pointed out. Skipper stopped and considered this, before tipping his head in deference.

"You have the floor, Cadet," he relented. Marlene considered what to say.

"Permission to speak freely?" she asked. Skipper nodded.

"It'll be your last act with our outfit, regardless," he warned. Marlene nodded and then grabbed a hold of Skipper and gave him a long passionate kiss as the other penguins stared in shock. She finally released the penguin, who fell flat on his back with spirals in his eyes.

"You forgot one thing in your guide, a midnight dance. I'll be expecting that later," she made him promise.

"Dismissed," he managed to remark before his tongue began hanging out the side of his mouth. Marlene laughed to herself and left for her own habitat.

"Skipper was right, romance is dangerous," Private commented as he looked over his fallen leader.

"Perhaps we had best continue cleaning up," Kowalski advised. Private nodded and the two turned to the table, only to notice all three dynamite candles lit, thanks to a maniacally grinning Rico.

"Boom," he responded happily.

And the whole place exploded.

…

"Corporal, wake up!" shouted a voice through the murkiness. Rico's eyes snapped upon and he found further darkness, before the darkness was revealed to be a book that Skipper grabbed from atop his face.

"Goodness man!" commented Skipper as he held the book while several "Reading romance novels, watching soap operas on tv, eating candy before bed, sleeping with dynamite and dolls of myself and Marlene, I can only wonder what kind of dreams you had last night! You need to cut back!"

"Sorry," said Rico as he brushed himself off and hopped off his messy bunk.

"Get yourself cleaned up and topside with the rest of the team while I try and clean up this mess," Skipper ordered as he clutched the Marlene doll in one hand and his own doll in the other as Rico left to get cleaned up. But by the time Rico finished getting ready and was headed for the ladder, Skipper had cleaned the place up but was still holding the dolls. But before the corporal could ask about it, Skipper snapped his head over to look at him.

"Topside!" he barked. Rico nodded and moved up the ladder when Skipper stopped him with a wing.

"I'm sorry corporal, just a little on edge from Julien's antics," he apologized. "Was it a good dream?"

Rico smiled bittersweet before responding with: "Dance."

Skipper grinned at him lightly and patted him on the back. "I'm sure she was a wonderful partner. Though I hope you didn't let her lead."

Rico chuckled at that before looked at the dolls pointedly. "Dance," he repeated and vanished up the ladder. Skipper watched him go before regarding the dolls again and then shaking his head.

"But he could not, would not, could not, join the dance," Skipper quoted wistfully and set the dolls aside and marched up the ladder to his waiting team. As behind him, the two dolls flopped together in silence.

A/N: R&R if so inclined, it's up to you.