Author's Note: Since I'm not sure of Ike and Kyle's age difference, I have made Ike five years younger and since I really have no knowledge of Jewish tradition, I'm hoping that my googling has produced somewhat accurate information.

Chapter 5

With each inhale the stray red curl was pulled inside Kyle's freckled nose only to be released again when he exhaled through his mouth. His eyebrows, more brown than red, shifted frequently while he slept. Sometimes Kyle appeared to be scowling, other times he looked surprised. His face was narrow and long and not what most people would describe as attractive. Carman wasn't most people though he knew he'd feeling differently about Kyle's look if it wasn't for that maddeningly appealing personality.

Kyle was a good person, though less recognized for it than his best friend Stan. Cartman couldn't care less about this trait; Butters was good and he was a little douche. The thing that Cartman liked was Kyle's no bullshit policy. He simply wouldn't tolerate anyone trying to manipulate him, which was, of course, why it was so fun to do. He had a terrible temper, another fun button for Cartman. He liked order and was ungodly stubborn.

These traits of personality made Kyle's body more appealing. He also carried himself in a lithe manner, graceful even. Cartman found it hard to believe the midget had ever aspired to be a basketball star. He moved more like a dancer, especially when aroused, Cartman was finding out.

Soon Kyle would be waking up and Cartman had to stop staring lest he be caught. What he was doing was really gay. It was like he'd wandered on to the set of a romantic comedy and just decided to join the cast. Yes, he was watching Kyle sleep and no, he wasn't proud of it.

The ginger had turned him gay. He'd be seeking revenge for that if he didn't like Kyle so much. No other male had caught Cartman's attention. He had always found women attractive; he'd crushed on Wendy Testeburger for years, then Kyle found his way into his thoughts and that was it. No other person would do for fantasies.

Then when it had come down to crunch time, he'd pussed out. Kyle had been so deliciously eager, initiating everything. It scared Cartman. The second that Kyle's hand had touched him there, his brain had overloaded. Sounds of his mother's sex moans echoed through his head and it was like he could see every encounter she'd ever had flash past in an instant. It horrified him. Had he really been thinking of Kyle in the same way as those dirty clients had towards his mom? How could he cheapen Kyle or himself that way?

He'd made an excuse to Kyle, procrastinating doing the inevitable. Some day he would cave into his baser emotions, he knew that, but he didn't want to lessen their relationship. So, he'd told Kyle that he wanted to wait. With how eager Kyle was, it was surprising that he didn't put up much of an argument. Kyle argued about fucking everything.

Cartman could hear the sounds of his mother making breakfast downstairs. He had heard when she'd come in last night around two. The clock said that it was nine in the morning. It had taken forever for either of them to fall asleep, both unused to sharing their bed with another human. Often times Mr. Kitty slept with Cartman, but since he'd closed the door before they'd gone to bed, it was just his new redheaded kitten.

'Sex kitten,' he thought, smiling fondly down at Kyle.

Well, it was probably time to wake him up, since breakfast would be ready soon. He decided to do so with a kiss, which it turned out was way more romantic in the movies. As soon as his lip brushed Kyle's skin, Kyle lurched, awakened from his sleep with a start. His forehead rammed into Cartman's nose and he gasped in surprise.

"Ow! Jesus!" yelled Cartman, grabbing his nose and getting the hell away from the boy with the good reflexes.

Kyle's eyes were round, trying to figure out who was attacking him and why. He looked at Cartman clutching his nose and then around at the room that wasn't his own. He closed his eyes and chuckled. "Sorry, you startled me."

"Yeah, no fucking kidding!" snapped Cartman with one hand still clutching his nose. He watched Kyle glance at the clock. "I was going to offer you breakfast, but now I don't think you deserve it."

Kyle smiled patiently. He moved his face close to Cartman's. "I'll kiss it and make it better…"

That was a peace offering that Cartman could accept. He moved the hand on his nose to Kyle's chin and pulled him in for a kiss. It was a pleasant kiss. They had slept together and it was almost like Cartman could tell that just from the kiss alone. It felt cozy.

"I have to pee," said Cartman after they'd pulled apart.

"Me too. Hurry up."

Cartman stood up from the bed and straightened his pajama pants that had shifted oddly in his sleep. He scowled at Kyle. "Hey, this is my house and I'll take as long as I damn well want."

The nonplussed look Kyle gave him was humorous, but Cartman didn't break character as he stomped out the door. It did take him a little bit to pee after all, because he'd enjoyed that little morning kiss more than he thought. Kyle went in after him and Cartman noted that he'd put his clothes from the previous day back on. Again he thought how he preferred Kyle without clothes, but it was better if they were going downstairs to breakfast.

From the top of the stairs he could smell omelets. He appreciated the scent, following it more than he did the path of the stairs, like a hound dog. His mother smiled at him. "Good morning sweety!"

He returned the smile, though not as enthusiastically. "Morning mom." He pecked her cheek and set a hand on her slim shoulder. "Omelets?"

"Oh yes! With sausage and English muffins." They were still on the pan to keep warm, just in case Cartman was late in waking up.

"They look yummy mom." He sat down at the table, waiting for her to serve him. She did, setting the two omelets from his skillet onto his plate. Then on her way to the table, she pushed down on the toaster, starting the English muffins.

"We're going to need more omelets mom," said Cartman. He gestured to the kitchen's doorway where Kyle was hovering awkwardly.

She followed Cartman's motion and was surprised to see Kyle standing there. "Oh, Kyle. Oh." She looked down at her son. He wasn't sure what the look on her face was, but she was definitely surprised. Then, recovering, she greeted Kyle. "Well, good morning. Did you want one omelet or two?"

Kyle shook his head. "No thanks Mrs. Cartman. I'm not that big on breakfast."

Cartman tsked. "Don't listen to him. Make him one; he needs to eat more."

"Cartman, I'm not hungry," growled Kyle, sitting down at the table next to him.

"I didn't ask if you were hungry." He waved an egg covered fork threateningly at Kyle. "The animal shelter puts down animals that look like you!"

If it hadn't been for Cartman's mom busily cooking more omelets less than five feet away, Kyle would have said some very nasty things. Instead, he flipped Cartman off discretely.

"What are we doing today?" asked Cartman.

"Well, I usually spend Christmas over at Stan's family. You know, since my family doesn't do anything special usually, but since this year Hanukkah is on the same day, I'll have to head home before supper," Kyle explained.

Cartman had never realized that Hanukkah's date varied. There was a lot he didn't know about Judaism and he wasn't looking to learn.

Cartman's mom gasped suddenly and looked worriedly at Kyle. "Oh Kyle, can you have cheese with your egg or does that count as a meat?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Cartman. He deduced that it had something to do with the whole Jewish thing and it annoyed him.

It didn't bother Kyle, who lit up at her question. "Oh no, it's okay. I can eat cheese omelets. Just, you know, no ham." Cartman glared at Kyle, who just kept insisting on being Jewish. Kyle glared back while smugly thanking her. "Thank you for asking Mrs. Cartman."

"Mi mi mi mi mi…" mocked Cartman. "You fucking suckup." His mom was nice to everyone, but she seemed to like Kyle more than his other friends. Maybe it was because Kyle was a straight A student or something, but he wouldn't bear playing second fiddle to anyone in her eyes. Wasn't it enough to her that she was the mother of the smartest teenager in South Park? Did he have to get good grades to impress her? If so, it wasn't going to happen.

Pain jolted through his leg as Kyle kicked him. "Watch your language Cartman."

Cartman's mouth hung open in shock. Had Kyle just given him an order in his own house? Kyle's eyes glared defiantly, as if daring Cartman to contradict him. In truth, he was more shocked than anything. He felt that Kyle was being blatantly disrespectful to him regardless of the language that he'd used in front of his mom. It was like he hadn't caught on to the fact that Cartman was master of this house. "Don't think that you can start bossing me around now Ginger; I'm not Stan and you sure as hell aren't Wendy."

That swept the challenging look right off Kyle's face. At first his expression changed to one of surprise, but then he laughed. "Yeah yeah," Kyle said, waving his hand. Cartman was pleased with his win. With anyone else, he felt capable of out-arguing them, but not with Kyle. He smiled to himself. This just might work out, even if Kyle was a stinking Jew.

Amazingly, Kyle's mom was in a good mood when he arrived home. He had called Stan to make sure that she hadn't checked in on him though his phone showed no missed calls. She had not called and Stan was going crazy from not knowing his super best friend's secret. Kyle would've made up some plausible excuse, but this was Stan; there was no way Stan wouldn't see through any story that he concocted. Silence would have to be Kyle's plan of action for a while.

"Bubbelah!" his mom cried out as he walked through the door. "You made it just in time!"

"Oh goody," he thought as he scanned the roomful of relatives.

In the Broflovski household, the first night of Hanukkah was the big one that warranted an extended family gathering. This would have been more tolerable if it wasn't just another Hanukkah night gift-wise. Sheila and Gerald had always saved the best gift for the last. This was the first Hanukkah without his dad, but Kyle suspected that since it had always been his ma that ruled the roost, the holiday's protocol would remain the same.

There were eight people in the living room. His mom and Oliver were sitting together on the loveseat. Ike and his girlfriend Brittany were hovering in the doorway to the kitchen. Great-aunt Ethel rocked slowly in the glider. Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, and their son Luke were on the couch.

"Hey everyone," he greeted lamely, shutting the cold air out. He was frosted with snow from the walk back from Cartman's. They'd had a great day of talking and making out divided by a nap. He'd left that comfortable decadence to trudge through snow to spend time with people he didn't like. Ah, the joys of holidays.

After taking off his mud/snow covered boots, Kyle tried to pass by their guests, but great-aunt Ethel caught hold of him with one old lady claw-hand. She insisted on a kiss on the cheek, which he did grudgingly.

"We need to light the Menorah soon; it'll be sundown soon!" said his mom rising from the loveseat. Oliver rose too, as if they were invisibly handcuffed together. "Everyone gather round!"

Ike gave Kyle a look as he made his way over with Brittany in hand. Kyle smiled. His brother, newly thirteen years old, was smarter than anyone in South Park. Excluding his girlfriend of the moment and Kyle, Ike had very little patience for other human beings. Kyle suspected it had something to do with his superhuman intelligence, but it could also have been feeling like an outcast since he looked so different from his peers. Ike would have been considered quite handsome if he lived in Canada. Here in South Park, he was often mistaken for a trash can. That totally didn't stop him from picking up women; he'd had his first love affair in kindergarten.

The look that Ike gave him was one of petulant tolerance. He hated family functions like any normal teenager. "Glad you could make it," his voice low, making the conversation relatively private. Brittany waved at Kyle and he waved back. Brittany went to Kyle's high school since she was a sophomore. The age difference didn't bother their mother who was quite used to her son's predilection for older women and was just happy that this one was still in high school. She did discourage his sexual antics, but Ike was a total sex addict, way worse than Kyle's second sluttiest friend Kenny. Ike said that his IQ dropped if he didn't get some regularly.

"I was at Stan's," Kyle lied. He watched his brother size up his statement.

"That so?" he asked, then smiled. "Well, it's a good thing that you got here before the Menorah lighting." Ike hadn't been born into Judaism since he was adopted, so that could have accounted for a bit of his skepticism. He found all religions to be humorous. He often talked to Kyle about how much a person's religious beliefs said about the person. Kyle just tried not to feel uncomfortable when his brother spoke so heretically.

In this case, his brother's skepticism was a relief. He was feeling way too stifled by familial enthusiasm. Cartman would have been bothered by all the Jews in one small place. Kyle laughed. "Yeah, that would have been a shame."

"Kyle only comes to Hanukkah dinner for the first present," he said to Brittany. She laughed.

Kyle objected, "Not in this family. I'm holding out for the eight night."

"You have a long wait ahead of you buddy," joked Ike. "Especially with this family."

"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness," said Brittany absent-mindedly. Then she blushed as Kyle and Ike looked at her. "That wasn't mine. It's a Chinese proverb."

Hers or not, it encouraged Ike to kiss her proudly. "And a very appropriate one."

Even though Kyle was used to seeing his brother kissing women, it was the first time he'd seen it since he'd been doing it. For once, the pangs of envy that he felt were absent. He had someone of his own to kiss, though he'd never be able to bring Cartman to a Hanukkah function.

There was a lot of shushing then, as relatives poured in from other rooms of the house into the cramped living room. Kyle stood closer to Brittany, feeling a strange lack of discomfort. Maybe standing next to a beautiful woman felt less awkward after a whole night of making out with a not-so-beautiful man. Kyle's mom was standing with the slender lighter in her hand.

Before she lit the shemesh, she addressed the crowd. "I just wanted to say that I'm so grateful that so many of you could make it to our home tonight. Oliver and I," she hugged Oliver close to her side then, making Kyle cringe. "and my sons Kyle and Ike welcome you. Happy Hanukkah!"

Kyle's mom lit the shemesh that Oliver held out to her. She bent over the first candle with the shemesh and started to sing. The group immediately picked up. "Ba-ruch ata, A-do-nai E-lo-hei-nu…"

The words were familiar and soothing to Kyle, who had just realized that he was tense. He wasn't used to lying to his family. It made him feel like they were adversaries, which was totally unhealthy. He allowed himself to get drawn into the comforting ritual. "…me-lech ha-o-lam, a-sher ki-de-sha-nu be-mits-vo tov, ve-tsi-va-nu le-had-lik neir shel Chan-nu-kah."