A/N: This is my first fan fiction. I'm testing the waters. :)

Her hand on the doorknob, Maria took one last look at the bedroom where she had spent so many of her happiest evenings. She remembered the magical night when all of the children, frightened by the storm, had each come to her and found solace and courage. And she remembered the Captain entering in the midst of her jubilant expression of fighting fear with her favorite things. He'd been so stern, so unyielding…and so irresistible. Just as he'd been earlier this evening when she'd felt his arms around her for the first time as they'd danced. She hadn't admitted it then, not even to herself, but when the Baroness had spoken the words aloud, she couldn't deny it any longer; she was in love with Captain Von Trapp…her Captain.

But that wasn't right. He was going to be married, and she was going to be a nun. She couldn't, they couldn't; she had no right. She couldn't let herself think about how it felt to be near him.

'Goodbye,' she thought.

She walked slowly down the grand staircase for the last time, putting her hand in her pocket, almost feeling once again the gift her children had given her. 'Her' children. She would never bear her own, and now she wouldn't even have the ones that were forever embedded in her heart. Did she have to lose everything? No, not everything. She still had the abbey, if Mother Superior decided to take her back without the explanation she was nowhere near ready to give. And she still had the Lord.

One last look at the grand entrance, and Maria turned to open the front door.

"Maria?" The voice brought her to an abrupt halt, froze her movement, nearly stopped her heart. That beautiful, baritone voice, so gentle now that she knew to listen for what lay underneath the gruffness.

'No! This is hard enough as it is,' her thoughts screamed at her. But here he was, and what would she say? She knew he'd never be satisfied with what was written on the note she'd prepared; he'd demand answers she couldn't give.

"Maria, where are you going? Why are you carrying your things?"

She turned and pressed her back to the door. "Captain, I…" Maria stood there staring at the Captain. She couldn't think; she couldn't speak. She could hardly breathe.

Captain Von Trapp stepped slowly closer to her, his gaze never leaving her face. She saw the questions and confusion in his eyes. She couldn't tear her own eyes from his; his intense gaze was making her feel feverish. He moved closer still, and her heart started pounding. 'Lord, help me!' she prayed.

"Captain, I've decided to go back to the abbey. I'm afraid I can't stay here any longer. Please say goodbye to the children for me; I don't want to wake them." She knew her voice wasn't steady, but how could it be when he was standing so close to her?

"You're leaving? Why? What happened? Did I do something to upset you?" His voice remained low, but there was an edge to it. He took another step closer.

"N-no, of course not, Captain," Maria stammered. "I've loved every moment I've spent here with, with the children. But the children are settled, and you'll be married soon…" Her voice faded away. She'd almost said she'd loved every moment she'd spent with him. She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks as it had earlier, and finally she was able to look away. This was too dangerous.

But the Captain would not make this easy. He was close enough now to reach out to her, and as soon as her gaze dropped, he took advantage of the moment and took her hand.

"Please don't go," he whispered.

And that was too much. Her hand trembled in his, and the unexpected touch caused her to make the mistake of looking up. His eyes bore into hers. No one had ever looked at her like that. There was a storm in his eyes, and she could see that it was all for her. Only the door was holding her up now.

"Maria," he breathed, and his eyes dropped to her mouth. He laced their fingers together and gripped her hand tighter. And then her body seemed to move of its own accord, her chest moving closer to his, her eyes closing. She could feel the heat of his body, she could smell his undeniably male scent, and she was lost.

"Georg? Georg, where are you? We're about to start dinner!" The Baroness's deep voice cut through the air, shocking Maria and the Captain. Maria jerked her body away from the Captain's as he turned toward the sound of the Baroness's voice. As the Baroness entered the room, he took another step away from Maria.

'This is how it has to be,' thought Maria, her heart sinking. What had she been thinking, anyway? She hadn't been thinking, that was the problem.

"There you are. Oh, Maria, darling, were you leaving?" purred the Baroness.

"Y-yes, Baroness. I'm returning to the abbey. Please accept my gratitude for your kindness. I wish you and the Captain every happiness." Maria nearly choked on the words, but they had to be said.

"Maria…" The Captain seemed conflicted, caught between a promise made and a promise craved. But Maria knew where he must stay; he was a man of honor.

"Goodbye, Captain." Maria opened the door and walked out without looking back.