I Love 80's Music NaughtyHeels Anonymous One Shot Contest

I'm co-hosting an amazing contest with my kick ass friends KeepersoftheNaughtySparkle (pkitten21, SnozzberryFaery, & TFX).

Entries are due Sept. 30th, find all of the details here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2060377/naughtyheelsanonymouscontest

There are a few others I wanted to thank:

The Comma Queen (Pamela0201)- Well, I don't know what to say besides: You rock, I wuv you, and thank you for allowing me to pop your cherry. Everyone should really realize that your more than a just a beta, you run the Emo Police! ;)

Pkitten21 (Katie) & NaughtySparkle (Trin)- Thank you so much for not only helping me with the chapter but for the positive encouragement.

Disclaimer:

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own Bella's fucked up personality, and all of the psychologist bills that come along with it.

~*~

The demanding little munchkin was waiting for me by the front door with her arms folded and her foot annoyingly tapping on the floor. I was pretty sure she rolled her eyes when I approached her but I didn't give a fuck if she was pissed that I'd taken so long. She should have been happy that I didn't pull out a can of whoop-ass and show her what a real girl fight looked like.

I made sure not to say the first word, and I was pretty convinced she was playing the same game. I sat in the passenger seat of her car wondering where the fuck we were going, but too stubborn to ask. So I laid my head back and just tried to relax and enjoy reflecting on the moments I had shared with Edward. The feel of his arms wrapped around me, my own personal security blanket. I could still feel the warmth of his breath on my neck and the touch of his hands on my hips.

As we drove further away I felt an odd sensation overcome me. It took a few minutes to clearly understand what was going on, and a few more to accept it. I knew that I missed him. Though there was no reason to miss him, I had just left him. Not to mention we weren't even anything much more than roommates, except we had this unspoken relationship that was unlike most. I couldn't explain it, not that I wanted to, but I'd felt a bond between the two of us. It was as if something was pulling me closer to him, forcing me to push past all the barriers that had taken me so many years to build. He felt so incredibly right.

When we pulled into the parking structure for the mall I snapped out of my daydream and tried to focus on the purpose of the trip. I needed to find my own personal power suit that would not only put me in the right frame of mind to meet with Mrs. Rich Bitch, but I wanted to walk in there and show her that I too had class. I didn't care if I had to spend every fucking penny in my savings account wiping out everything that was left from the sell of my childhood home. I wanted to look so fucking good that I would have to pick her chin off of the maid-cleaned floor of her snobby country club or wherever the fuck I was going to meet her.

"Ready?" Alice asked, while grabbing her purse from the pathetic excuse for a backseat.

I nodded to her while trying to slither out of the bumble bee vomit sports car which was about the same size as one of my vibrators. I looked down at my torn up converse and my ripped up jeans wondering if I did spend all the money in the world would it really make me worth more. Maybe her trailer trash assumption was based on actual truth. As I started to head towards the sliding glass doors and enter into the overpriced shithole, I realized that I didn't give a fuck what the truth was. I lifted my head higher and started to quickly shove my bricks back into place because no matter what I was Bella Motherfucking Swan. No one fucked with me.

No matter how much the annoying adolescent boy with tits bugged me, something about Alice was endearing. It was hard to hate her, or at least hate her for long. Underneath her pushy and extremely needy personality, she was adorable. But I would never have told her that, especially since if her head got any larger I think it would have floated off like a hot air balloon.

"Alright, so I think we should first take a peak in Bloomies and then maybe swing by Tory Burch or even Saks. We'll see how much time we have left." She wasn't asking me a question, it was more of a statement as she pushed her way through the crowds of people.

"What exactly is it I should wear to this lunch?" I tried to ask, chasing after her while secretly praying we would be separated and I could enjoy the afternoon eating a pretzel from Aunt Anne's and day dream about tangling my legs together with Edward.

"You need something young and hip, yet it also has to be classy and sophisticated. You should knock everyone dead without looking like you charge by the hour," she looked back at me, giving me an evil glare.

"I charge by the minute honey, no one can last an hour with me." My response got a goofy grin out of Alice, as she slowed down from her fast pace and linked arms with me.

"Bella, we really will become close friends. I can just feel it." The odd little psychic didn't even try to pretend that the shit she said was weird. I wanted to tell her to stop watching television fuzz all day long, because she was obviously going mental. Then the other part of me, the larger and more perverted side of me started to smirk at the whole "close friends" remark. I wouldn't have minded being up close and personal with her flawless tits. I could tell through her thin cotton tank top that they would fit completely into my mouth and feel perfect cupped in my hands.

I felt like I was in some type of game show as we entered the stores. She just started throwing random shit into my arms like she was in a race against some clock or another team. She was a woman on a fucking mission, a real life weapon of mass destruction. Leaving unwanted clothes on the ground like innocent crossfire victims. I was holding a pile of designer vomit, and all I wanted to do was throw it on the ground and run back home hoping to get a few more minutes with Edward before he left for his business trip.

"Hurry up Bella, try on all of those and then we can narrow it down to our top twenty."

"You better be fucking with me, I won't be narrowing anything down. If it meets the dress code requirements and it fits me then we buy it and get the fuck out of dodge."

"Seriously, how do you ever expect to meet a guy when you talk like you drive a fifth wheel?" The snobby little bitch retorted back to me obviously unaware that men typically enjoyed my dirty mouth. Whenever words like "cock" or "fuck" rolled off my tongue their dicks would stiffen between their legs and they would beg for me to say more naughty things to them. Men were perverts; they wanted girls who didn't give a fuck. Men would cheat on their girlfriends and their wives, wanting to be with a girl who would let her hair down and fuck their brains out. Unfazed by what the neighbors might think. I was so many people's dirty little secret.

"First of all, I never told you that I wanted a guy… you know, sometimes a girl just needs a little pussy in her life." I winked over at her, hoping to cause a little embarrassment. But to my surprise, she just smiled back. "And second," I continued, "who said that I didn't already have someone in my life?"

"What? Back up, you have someone in your life?"

"Yes, is that so fucking hard to believe? What the hell, do I have loser stamped on my god damn forehead?" I'd never been with someone long enough to actually tell someone about him or her. I've never been in a relationship or at least a sexually frustrating, emotionally connected, roommate situation. I knew that I couldn't tell her much, but I was so fucking giddy that a part of me wanted to just sit back and gossip with her as if we were old friends. I had never sat down and shared anything with my friends because there wasn't anything to share. I went to their house, fucked them, and went home. The story typically went the same with each asshole I got naked with. Not to mention, at times, the person I was fucking was a friend's boyfriend which probably would have been a little bit of a mood killer.

"No, it's not that. It's just… I didn't realize you had already met someone. So… does he go to school with you?" She grabbed the huge pile of clothes from my arms and swiftly hung all of them on the racks in the dressing room we'd just entered. She sat down on the loveseat in the corner of the private room. I'd expected her to step outside and give me some privacy, but she obviously had other ideas.

"Nope, he doesn't go to school with me." I picked up the first outfit, a black Jackie-O inspired dress with a detailed draped neck and cap sleeves. I held it up against my body trying to picture myself wearing something so conservative, sophisticated… so fucking boring. I didn't even need to try it on, I hung it back up while digging through the rest of the racks full of shit.

"Oh, so… where did you meet him?" Her eyes never looked away from me, and though I wasn't facing her directly I could feel her eyes burning a hole in my back.

"The local homeless shelter, he was prime picking. He hadn't had food in days, was in desperate need of a shower, and didn't give a fuck what was coming out of my mouth. I think it was maybe his eyes that attracted me to him, or shall I say his eye? That God damn Gulf War, I didn't even realize people were still being injured in Iraq. I mean, I watch the news every night but to be honest I think I forgot we even had troops over there anymore. By the way, what is your opinion on the whole war thing?"

"Please, I made up the distraction game. You will never beat me at something I've perfected. So, if you didn't meet him, which by the way you slipped and said that he didn't go to your school, at college then where have you been hanging around in this lame city that you would find anyone even remotely interesting enough to spend more than one evening with?" I could see her twitching in the chair as she spoke, I knew that she was using all of her strength not to come over, throw me on the ground, and force me to try on every single one of the outfits she had picked for me. But, she was obviously smart enough to realize that I would have kicked her fucking ass.

"Alice, I really don't feel like talking about it yet. You know, that whole jinxing it idea," I was praying that she would swallow up the bullshit I was spewing, "he's a great guy and I'd just like to keep it to myself… for now." I grabbed a navy blue square neckline dress out of the sea of conventional shit. It had cap sleeves like the other dress but it also had double-breasted metal buttons going down the front accented with a small belt. It was classy yet didn't look like I was going to hang with purpled haired wrinkled old hags and play a few games of Bridge. I pulled off my top and slid it on, trying to change as quickly as possible. I was still wearing grandma panties, not wanting to ruin any expensive undies, and the last thing I wanted to do was explain to Alice why I was smuggling a whole ham in between my legs. I was worried that she would pull out a camping stove and try cooking my piggy bits for an afternoon snack.

After I got the dress on, I turned towards the mirror taking a moment to just look at myself. I tried to pull my shoulders back and pushed my hair out of my face like my mom would often remind me to do while growing up. My eyes were darkened from the lack of sleep or possibly the unhealthy levels of alcohol I consumed on a weekly basis.

I was almost unrecognizable. And though the dress looked relatively nice on, I felt myself slipping into a moment of weakness. I wanted to punch the mirror, shatter it into pieces while absorbing the pain of the cuts it would leave behind. I was ashamed at not taking care of myself, allowing myself to turn into this disgusting human being which was now staring at me. I moved my arm slightly, hoping the reflection wouldn't follow. I was constantly disappointed in my own actions or lack there of.

"It's perfect," Alice said while placing her hands gently on my hips, smiling at the stranger in the mirror. I faked a smile and pushed some distance between the two of us. "So, now we need to get you some shoes and maybe some earrings. Do you have a black clutch? That would look nice, or maybe even red." Her ramblings were falling on deaf ears as I allowed my mind to wander to a time when I actually liked what I saw in the mirror.

After changing, I followed Alice downstairs to the shoe department. I didn't talk as she picked out some ridiculously high black naughty heels. We then made our way to the jewelry department where she picked out more fucking shit and I just nodded my head hoping that my lack of conversation would speed up our shopping experience. When we made it to the counter to pay I tried really hard not to faint, scream, or fucking cry when the total appeared on the register. It was more than three months rent and could have easily paid for all of my school books for the semester and my overpriced bullshit parking pass.

I opened up my purse to grab out my credit card, but before I could hand it to the minimum wage earning snooty bitch who had a look on her face like she was better than me and my Jessica Simpson purse that I bought on clearance at TJ Maxx, Alice had whipped out a stack of cash and started counting out hundreds.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, shoving her hand out of the way and pushing my credit card closer to the bitch that had clearly spent her whole month's paycheck on the outfit she was wearing.

"No, this is my treat. Please, it's the least I can do." The retail clerk who had an obvious attitude problem grabbed the cash from Alice and avoided my card as if it was dripping in SARS.

"Here you go," the fucking whore said as she made her way around the counter holding a garment bag in her hands, "thank you, as always, Ms. Cullen or should I say Mrs. Crowe?"

"Let's stick with Ms. Cullen until after the wedding. I still need to get use to the whole Mrs. Crowe, right now I still assume people are addressing my mother-in-law." Alice grabbed the bag while chatting with the skank. I stood there trying to shoot daggers at the fake bitch who was kissing Alice's ass. It was nauseating.

After a few more minutes of them chatting about nothing important, Alice turned around and started to head out through the door. I followed behind her like a damn puppy dog as we made our way back to the car. Before we got to the parking lot I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw an Aunt Anne's Pretzels right in front of me.

"Alice, slow down. I'm hungry and want to get a pretzel."

"Seriously Bella, do you know how many calories are in those carbzel's?" She tried to pull my arm but I held my ground. As if she could stop me. I wanted to eat a warm cinnamon sugar pretzel, savoring every bite, reminding me the whole time of Edward.

She rolled her eyes at me every time I let out a soft moan with each bite. But I didn't fucking care, I was in heaven. It was fresh out of the oven, so soft that it nearly melted when it touched the wetness of my tongue. It probably looked like I was in some cheap 1970's porn when I slowly pulled it out of my mouth, sucking the topping off the bread. I was mouth-fucking a god damn pretzel.

"So, I guess you really like those things?" Alice asked, watching me deep throat it again.

"Have you ever seen something that reminded you of sex?" I asked in between sucks.

"Yeah… everyone time I see a dog." I choked on my fellatio-cinnamon stick and gaped at her, pleading with my eyes to please fucking explain. Every fantasy I ever had with her was about to be ruined if she was admitting to joining in on some sick fucking bestiality fetish. I knew that in the backwoods of Washington it was somewhat popular, but I was hoping in Southern California people would at least resort to hookers or hobos if they were that horny and desperate.

"It's just…" she paused with embarrassment, "James will only have sex with me from behind. He says that if he isn't looking into my eyes then he can picture other people, which will keep things feeling fresh… and new." I didn't even fucking know what to say to that. Here she was, engaged to a man that couldn't look at her while they fucked, and she was trying to put on a smile while explaining. She was trying really hard to pretend it didn't hurt her as much as it did.

Hearing her explain his rationality was heart breaking. You could hear the pain in her voice brought on by feeling rejected by her own Fiancé. I felt for her, I had been there before but not with anyone I cared about. They made me feel used, but I didn't mind. I wasn't Alice, and I certainly hadn't been trying to create a family with them.

She looked like a little girl, lost in the mall, unable to find her family. I wanted to just hug her and tell her that every thing was going to be alright. But I couldn't, so I did the next best thing.

"You deserve better," I said. Three little words I wished someone would have told me years ago.

We left the mall and drove home in silence. When we pulled up to the condo I thanked her for taking me and for paying for the new outfit. She wished me luck at the lunch and reached her hand over to mine.

"Thank you Bella, for everything." I smiled at her for a moment before opening the door and sliding out of the Matchbox car.

I headed upstairs to the condo, in desperate need of a warm shower and some cold lotion for my itchy rash. It was still early, but I was ready to clean up and go to bed. I knew that being well rested would prepare me even more for my meeting with Stupid Bitch, and I had a feeling that I would need any extra leg up I could get.

The next morning when I woke up I decided instead of rushing around between school and the lunch meeting, that I would just skip class and take my time getting ready. To be honest, I was a little fucking bummed that I would miss watching Professor Fuck Me shake his tight little ass as he made his way from his desk to the whiteboard. Every time he would drop a marker, the room filled with soft moans as we all watched him slowly pick it up off of the floor. If my pocket vibrator was a little bit quieter I would tape it to my vagina and just enjoyed the visual along with the tickling of my clit.

I knew that Jake was going to be pissed if I missed class, so I decided to text the drama queen hoping that it would avoid his thong going any further up his ass, not that he would have minded.

Jake, I won't be in class today. Make sure Prof. 'Hetero Fucking Machine' thinks I'm sick, tell him that I slept in your bed last night and now I have to go to the vet for a flea dip.

It only took a few minutes to receive a response from Captain Dick Sucker.

Sick? So Eddie shot cum in ur eye & now u need to c a doctor 2 get some meds? I feel 4 u, jizz is painful in the eyes. Rinse it good, try eye drops. Works 4 me. BTW- Prof. 'I Prefer Dick' just asked me to cum to his office after class. :)

Seriously, as much as that little fucker could annoy me, he always cracked my shit up. He never let me get away with a snarky remark with out some type of rebuttal of his own. If it weren't for his Photobucket being filled with gay porn, including some compromising positions for him, I would have honestly thought he was smuggling a tampon socket under the designer jeans.

When I finally decided to leave the security of my bed, I threw on my incredibly comfortable old lady bathrobe and made my way to the kitchen. After about twenty minutes of searching every nook and cranny for something to eat I decided on a bowl of Shredded Wheat. After about two bites of that shit I dumped it out and determined it would be better if I just fucking starved. At least it would taste better, fuck I was pretty sure that sucking down a tube full of Vagisil would taste better.

"Save me some," I heard Emmett's voice coming from his bedroom.

"You don't want any of this shit. They only put sugar on one side of the damn bite sized pieces of crap. No joke, they're pieces of crap in a box."

He came out of his room in just a towel, still wet from the shower. When he stood under a light, the water drops that were collecting all over his rock hard body made it looked like he was covered in glitter. I had always known he was cute, but at that moment I stared at him and just appreciated how beautiful he really was. I could only imagine what his fucking bitch of a mom looked like, with three gorgeous kids I'm sure she won't be an identical twin of Rosie O'Donnell.

"That's my favorite cereal," he said while grabbing the box off of the counter, "obviously you just have bad taste." Umm, yes… obviously I did. God damn, he was like a sculptured piece of art. I wanted to just look at him all day. No, I wanted to fuck him all day. I could just tell that he would know his way around a vagina, and most likely a sex shop, and I imagined we would have a very fucking fun time together. We would have an even better time if we could bring in Edward for a hot Cullen/Bella sandwich, but I was pretty sure neither one of them would be down with that. But a girl could always dream.

"Sweetie, I can't taste anything at all," I said in a sexy voice while walking back towards my room, "That's why I can eat a girl's pussy 365 days a year." I winked at him before turning my back to him. I could hear him laughing as I closed my bedroom door which made me laugh in return. I loved that I could joke with him and not worry about offending him, he was such a fucking riot. I really did kind of wish he was gay, because I would have paid to not only watch but also listen to him and Jake together.

A few hours before noon I started to get ready, literally shaking as I tried to put my eye liner on. I didn't know for sure why I was so fucking nervous, I felt like a virgin getting ready for her wedding day. The only difference was that she knew for sure she was going to get fucked, I was still confused on how our lunch meeting was going to go. I had the tendency of just assuming people will be assholes, so I come on strong from the get go and show them immediately that I don't play that shit. But with Esme, I wanted to try and give her the benefit of the doubt. I was pretty fucking out of it when she called, so maybe I did just take her tone the wrong way. And besides, I wanted to fuck her son or well, I wanted to fuck her two sons and daughter but I would settle for some all night Edward lovin'.

Before leaving, I took one last look in the mirror and was completely satisfied. I looked fucking hot. A little bit of makeup and a hairbrush did wonders. I turned around and smiled at the site of my hot fucking ass that I was always so proud of. It was not as large as Jennifer Lopez's but it was big enough to fill out a pair of Apple Bottom jeans, not that I would buy those motherfucking ugly jeans. But, if I did, I would have made Nelly very proud.

It didn't take me long to drive to the Del Mar race track. I followed the signs to the Turf Club and as I entered into the luxurious restaurant, the Maitre d' was standing in front of a small desk. As I moved in closer I realized that he was watching every step I took, at first I was nervous that he realized I was some white trash idiot trying to fit in. But I quickly realized, he was appreciating my fuckhotness. So, in perfect Bella form, I shook my ass just a tad bit more and put on my best smile.

"Good afternoon, Ma'am. Welcome to the Turf Club." He walked around the desk and grabbed my hand. He kept the grin on his face as he lifted my hand up to his lips and placed a tender kiss on the top.

"Hello, I'm meeting Mrs. Cullen for lunch," I had no fucking clue what to say and his lips lingering by my hand was starting to give me the creeps. It was cute for a second, but the longer he held on he started to give me some disturbing Hannibal Lecter vibes.

I had to actually clear my voice for him to finally let go of my fucking hand. I started to scan my surroundings and consider my options for shanks just in case the fucker wanted to eat me for lunch. I made sure to take a mental picture of him and check the local Megan's Law websites to see if he popped up. I was pretty sure he'd have a pretty long rap sheet full of sexual assaults with minors. He was an eighty year old perv.

He walked me past tables filled with rich old hags all gossiping about their lame friends, their rich husbands, and their pool men who for some reason needed to start cleaning their pools four times a week now. I smiled at the dirty old whores, hoping that one day when I became a dinosaur I would be as fucking cool as they were. As we approached Esme's table I noticed her copper hair which was almost the exact shade as Edward's. She looked like at one time she was probably a beautiful person; but not anymore.

When she stood up it looked like she was attempting to smile, but none of her face actually moved. She'd had one too many shots of Botox and was looking more like an Old Navy mannequin than a human being. Her boobs were pressed up to her chin which was clearly being affected a lot by gravity. As she shook my hand, I noticed how short she was, similar to Alice, except mixed with the florescent orange fake tan she looked exactly like an Oompa Loompa.

"Hello Isabella, it's very nice to meet you. Please sit down," she gestured to the chair which was across the table from hers.

"Please, call me Bella." I sat down in the chair and quickly pulled my napkin on to my lap, making sure I didn't forget it and ruin a fucking expensive dress that I would most likely never be seen in until my funeral.

"I prefer Isabella," yup, she was a fucking snatch. "So as you know, I clearly didn't invite you to socialize or to even eat lunch with you. I wanted to make sure that you were caught up to speed on the ground rules for your stay in my home."

"Oh, and what would those be?" I asked.

"Well, I'm sure that you're very familiar with my family and our wealth."

"Nope," I had assumed they had money, it was hard not to, but I didn't know much about it. I wasn't from the area, nor did I give a flying fuck.

"Sure you don't. Well since you want to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, my father-in-law is the major shareholder to Cullen & Associates which is one of the largest investment firms in the nation." She started to spew their fucking resume to me as if I gave a shit.

"Well, just so we can be clear. I didn't come here to hire your company for any business deals. So, to be honest, I don't care what your company has or hasn't done. I would just like to know what you expect from me."

"Fair enough. My two boys are amazing, as I'm sure you already know. However, they've made many mistakes in their lives and unfortunately when you're an affluent family in this area, gossip tends to spread quickly. My father-in-law is tired of hearing our family name being dragged through the mud and he has given our family only one more shot."

"I'm still not following you, what does any of this have to do with me?" I was not only confused by the conversation, I was bored and extremely hungry. I was almost hungry enough to eat those half dipped in sugar, bite sized, shit logs from this morning.

"Let me dumb this down for you some," Fucking bitch just called me dumb. "If my boys make any more mistakes our family's multi-million fortune will not be passed down to us. I need you to keep an eye on Edward and Emmett. You'll be my eyes and ears when I'm not around to notify me of any changes in their lives."

"Changes? What type of changes are you talking about?" Still fucking confused by the shit she was spewing.

"Anything that would put my family's inheritance in jeopardy. So, a new girlfriend or late night activities, or maybe even not coming home in the evenings. I also expect you to make sure they are fed and kept in healthy condition." I was to be their cockblocker and their fucking nanny. This bitch apparently had one too many Botox shots in her forehead.

"Are you joking? If you want a babysitter, why didn't you just hire one?" I knew for a fact that she could find at least thirty illegal ladies off of Craigslist that she could pay under the table, and as a bonus they could teach her kids Spanish and manners, which she clearly lacked.

"I did." What the fuck? Did I look like a god damn babysitter? Responsibility was definitely not my forte.

"What the fuck, I answered for a room for rent. You allowed me to move in under false pretenses."

"I know for a fact that rent should be double what we are charging you." It was more like triple, which should have been the first red flag when I saw the ad. I remembered back to some of the other living situations I looked at becoming a part of, and the threesome gig with the weird couple was starting to sound better and better with each passing minute.

"Not good enough." This bitch was obviously a businesswoman, and I knew that in business people should always negotiate contracts before finally agreeing to them. And to be honest, any money saved would have helped me out a lot. Though I had some money from the sale of my mother's home, out-of-state tuition was killing me and so was my drinking problem. I rationalized that I could maybe drop down to part time school if I had to, but the thought of giving up the booze made me want to cry.

"Excuse me?" She placed her hand on her necklace, acting like I offended her. I wanted to slap her across the face. She was such a fucking bitch and she didn't even care. I could tell that she would be the whore who would steal my parking spot at the mall and then get out of her car and make some comment about how nicer cars get the priority. But, what she wasn't catching on to quick enough was that I was the girl who would not only key her car, but steal the navigation out of it as well.

"Oh, you heard me. If you want me to help you spy on your own grown children then I expect free rent and board." I wanted to add in things like a subscription to Hustler, unlimited access to porn on the television, and a year's supply of condoms. But I didn't want to push my luck.

"Fine," she didn't even hesitate, proving that I should have pushed my luck and at least asked for a credit card to a local sex store.

"Great, sounds like a deal. But for the record, I think you need some serious fucking help." I actually thought she needed more than just little bit of help. She also needed a heavy dose of medicine and a chin waxing, the three black hairs sticking out of her small mole was starting to really freak me out.

"Yeah, that's almost entertaining coming from you. Anyway, just remember that they don't know about our little condition. They believe that with Alice recently moving out, we had someone move in to take care of the house since they are so busy with their careers. Due to their multiple mistakes, my husband and I have requested that they live in this condo until the money is in our account." That would explain why a lawyer and a professional football player were shacking up together. I had always wanted to know, but didn't want to look too nosey. But, if they had agreed to this fucked up living situation, then they must have been after the same thing as Hairy the Hot Flash Whore.

"So, they're as greedy as you are?" I was very interested in her response, the idea of Edward being that money hungry almost made me sad.

"They're Cullen's. They weren't given any other option." Somebody needed to call the police, this bitch should have been arrested on a 5150. She'd gone fucking nuts and was starting to think she was Carmela Soprano or something.

"Who the fuck are you? The mob? What do you mean they weren't given any other option?"

"I would try to explain family loyalty to you but coming from a girl who probably has a family full of incest, I'm sure the term loyalty has a whole different meaning for you." I immediately took notice of the line of forks near my right hand. I wanted to shove them in her eye, or maybe her throat. Either way, I really had to hold back the urge to cut the fucking tramp.

"I'm sure you can understand the trailer park lifestyle, how did you meet your rich husband? Was he a client at your strip club, you know, back when your knees didn't sag as much as your breasts?" Or maybe when she only had one chin instead of three, or when her vagina didn't look like a god damn clown car from popping out three kids.

"Oh yes, great point." Yes, I knew she was a stripper, "Talking about sleeping your way into wealth, under NO condition do I want you to get your disease infested hands near my children. You're my employee, and there will be no fornication with my children." Little did she know it was my vagina with the rash, not my motherfucking hands.

"So, does this rule include your husband? Because, I bet he would love the way I suck dick. I'm sure he's tired of dealing with your anorexic frigid ass who probably can't remember the last time you enjoyed a good cock sucking." The thought of sucking dick made me immediately think of Edward and how badly I wanted to wrap my mouth around his. I couldn't believe that she not only wanted me to lie to him, but she also wanted me to keep my distance. She had some fucking nerve, and if I didn't hate her so much, I was pretty sure we could have been friends. Well, more like she could be that old lady I call when I'm bored or need money.

"Well, I think I've explained all the requirements. Just remember, it would be in your best interest not to mess with me or my family. Let's just say, I have many friends in many high positions." I could hear the sirens from the ambulance in the background, coming to pick up crazy and take her to a padded white room.

"Oh really? That's great, I heard that in California they allow medical marijuana, do you think you can get me a card to carry around? You know, just in case the po-po pulls me over one day and find a sack." Or a bong, pipe, and some paper.

"You have my phone number, I expect to hear from you soon." The bitch had an issue with ignoring my questions and answered only what she felt necessary. I wanted to throw myself on the ground, kicking and screaming like a toddler. My sarcasm always seemed to get a reaction, but this whorebag was ignoring me.

I got the hint that I was no longer needed, or wanted, so I stood up and started to walk away. I wanted to go home and call Jake, I needed someone's opinion on what to do. The idea of not paying for rent or food was so amazing, but it was attached to things like lying to people I liked, and not fucking Edward like I planned to do once my vagina stopped looking like a teenager's face all broken out with acne. I took a few steps and immediately stopped when I thought about what she'd said.

I turned back around to the table she was still sitting at. "Oh, just for some clarification? If your kids put their hands one me, then that's alright?"

"Leave Isabella." She fucking excused me, like I was a dog that was pissing her off by bringing mud into her house. I was pretty sure my face was bright red, with steam coming out of my ears. I wanted to kick her in the fucking head with my six inch heels. I wanted to do physical damage to her, but knew that she would have me thrown in jail without even thinking twice about it. Then, I would have to explain to Edward why I fucked up his mother and why it was probably best to keep my distance with him, especially with the restraining order his mom would have against me.

I started to walk again towards the door when I noticed a table full of older business men. They were old enough to have donated sperm to create my mother, but I didn't give a fuck. I wanted Esme to know that though I was desperate for a room, especially a free one, I wasn't going to bow down to her nor was I going to allow her to control me. I walked up to one of the guys who had his chair scooted back far enough that I could squeeze in. I hiked my dress up and threw my leg over his lap, straddling him.

His expression was priceless, as was Esme's who started to stand up but froze when I pushed my vagina closer to his growing penis.

"If I want to take him home, fuck him until he's too raw to go on any longer, or at least until the Viagra wears off; I will." I smiled back down at the horny grandpa. His thick black rimmed glasses were starting to fog up from his heavy breathing, and I moved my hands to his knee's, giving them a nice little squeeze. It was the least I could do for him not pushing me on my ass in front of everyone.

"I'm so sorry, Judge Bell. This is a distant niece. A very, very distant niece who actually suffers from some… medical problems." Esme walked over to us and was trying to keep her voice down, completely mortified by the scene. I would have freaked out over the fact that I was dry humping a Judge, but watching the snobby hooker flip out was worth the arrest that I was pretty sure would follow.

"Yup, that's right. I'm the fucking crazy one. Keep telling yourself that." I bent down to Judge Bell's ear and whispered, "So Judge, why don't you call me sometime. I'm always horny, love to swallow, and prefer anal… giving or receiving…. I have some dildos that would make you cum within seconds. Promise." I expected him to yell or scream or something. He just sat there, smiling. If he didn't have a face full of sun spots I may have considered giving him a little taste of my highly talented tongue.

Esme grabbed me and pulled me off of his lap. I was surprised by her strength, never realizing that old people even had muscles. "She was just leaving," she tried whispering to the table full of men.

"Screw you, I'm going home to fuck whomever I want," I yelled loud enough that everyone in the restaurant could hear, "forwards, backwards, sideways and maybe in the case of your husband… on your bed. And let's keep it real, underneath the thick layer of makeup and the plastic surgery, you're not too bad for an old hag, so you can join in too. I don't mind adding a little prune to my sex sandwich."

Before I could continue with my little rant the Maitre d' had pulled me out of Esme's grip and was dragging me to the door. He was mumbling something about calling the cops and how I was never welcome back in their restaurant again, and if he could find a way I would never be welcomed back at the race track or even in the county again. Everyone was staring at me, shocked by the scene, which made me laugh. I was so fucking pissed by the lunch that we had, I didn't care. And the whore didn't even feed me, which didn't help out with my attitude.

As I was being shoved out the door I made sure to wish her well. "Nice seeing you Auntie Esme," I screamed.

Security escorted me to my car, and reminded me that I was no longer welcome back at least a hundred times. It wasn't the first time I had been kicked out of some place before, and I'm sure it wasn't going to be the last. I didn't give a fuck, I drove away with a smile on my face, proud that I didn't let that bitch have the last word.

When I walked in the front door, I threw my purse on the entry table. Looking around, I noticed that Emmett wasn't home which was perfect since I really just wanted to be alone. I made it to the safe haven of my bedroom door, and as I pushed it open I was shocked at what I saw.

Edward was lying on my bed, home two days earlier than I expected. He had fallen asleep, fully dressed, lying over the covers. Beside him was a huge bouquet of flowers, and though I would have typically laughed at any dumbass who would buy me flowers, these were completely different. There, wrapped in clear plastic wrap, were tons of petite, perfectly blue, Forget-Me-Not's.

I carefully walked over to the bed, making sure not to wake him. He looked so fucking peaceful just lying there. My fingers lightly traced over a few flower petals as I tried to control my emotions, surprised by my enjoyment of watching a man sleep. The new experience was stirring up so many feelings inside of me, but instead of running I decided to move in closer. Embracing the pussy romantic moment.

I sat on my bed for about a half hour, watching him take in deep breaths and release them through his nose. I enjoyed watching his chest rise and fall, knowing that he was real and not just a figment of my imagination. I played different scenarios through my head on how I could explain to him that we could no longer see each other. I also tried to think of ways to explain the police showing up at the door soon with an arrest warrant for me. Everything I'd tried to avoid with him was starting to crumble. He was like this china doll that I'd put really high on a shelf, wanting to play with but afraid I would break it. And now, after watching him for so long and never touching him, I walk into my room and someone had broken him for me. His mother had broken everything I was really starting to enjoy.

Eventually I got tired and laid my head down on the pillow next to his. Our heads were touching as I snuggled my nose into his untamed hair, smelling his shampoo.

"Bella," he moaned as he stretched out his arms, "how long have you been home?" Oh, not that long. I was pretty sure he could look at the security tapes on file at the Del Mar race track for the exact time I left there and added in about fifteen or twenty minutes.

"Not that long," I spoke into his hair, not wanting to lift my head and look him in the eyes. Not ready to say good bye.

"I was planning on surprising you, but I guess next time I'll try to stay awake." Lying next to him I started to slowly understand why so many people craved relationships, moving quickly from one to another. I was sure that over time the connection you share with your partner would start to become more like an addict to their drug; their own personal heroin. I could picture you not being able to get enough, constantly waiting for the next hit. But like any drug user, eventually your addiction catches up and the world tries to rip you two apart.

"Here, these are for you," He sat up and handed me the beautiful bouquet of flowers. "I saw them and thought of you."

"Thank… you," I choked on my words while trying to keep my floodgates closed.

"You look beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen you in a dress before." Well, the best thing of that statement was at least I would've looked nice in my mug shots.

"I went to a funeral," I couldn't resist, "a local hooker that was friends of a friend died. I felt obligated to go and show my respects."

He looked utterly confused, forcing me to bite down on my lip trying to hide my smile. "I'm sorry to hear that. So, umm… not to change the subject or anything but, I've been wondering all day. When I realized what the name of those flowers tattooed on your feet were, I've been going over all different reasons for them. And, I was wondering if you would… maybe give me a little insight?" He was looking down at the flowers while talking to me, I could tell that he was as nervous of the question as I was of answering it. I didn't know if I was really ready to do much explaining yet. I wanted to just enjoy our time together before bringing in reality, which came in the form of his mother and the Sherriff's department.

"What would you like to know?" I was trying not to hide, but internally begging he wouldn't push me too soon. I had never explained them to anyone, and didn't know for sure if I wanted to at the moment.

"Why the Forget-Me-Not's?" He asked, pointing to the tattoos on my feet.

"I got them to represent two experiences in my life that changed me. I guess, I wanted to internally remind myself that no matter what, I wouldn't ever try to forget the tragedies but instead carry them with me everyday. Especially since they make me who I am, you know?" In that moment, I was more honest than I'd ever thought was possible. I felt that my honesty with him would soon be fading with the new arrangement his mother was forcing on to me, so I embraced this moment.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I wish I could've been there for you."

I leaned my face into his, placing my hand lightly on his jaw as I pressed my lips to his. The tenderness of the kiss sent a shiver of warmth up my whole body. As our mouths moved in sync like some romantic ballroom dance, I squeezed my eyes shut and just enjoyed the moment. I took my time, trying to concentrate on going slow instead of shoving my tongue down his throat like I wanted to do. I wanted to use his tie to hold him down to the bed and fuck the money hungry snob right out of him. But instead, I relaxed and allowed our tongues to caress each other while his hand moved from the bed to my shoulder, squeezing it in a sign of reassurance. At that moment, I forgot about the world, the broken walls, my past, and his mother. I was his, as he was mine.

We took our time, gradually breaking apart our embrace. And, as we sat there just staring at each other our bond started to grow stronger. I could feel the gravity pulling us together, and even if I wanted to try and stop it, I was too late.

"Bella, why would you get the other tattoo?" His hand moved to the back of my neck, lightly massaging it.

"I was in a really dark place at that time. So much had happened to me, in what felt like overnight, and I was left all alone. I felt unworthy of anyone else's love or affection. I truly felt forgotten."

"You will never be a Lost Cause, and I promise to spend everyday of my life proving that to you." Life seemed to freeze as I sat there replaying his words back in my head over and over again.

That was the moment when I realized step three: I was no longer a lost cause. It was short and sweet, but probably the hardest step thus far to write down on a piece of paper. To truly start to believe that I had some type of self worth was a new concept for me. From the moment I was abandoned by my own biological dad, I assumed that I was never worth someone's time let alone someone's love. Everyone always said that there is no love stronger than the love a parent has for a child. So, if my father left and never looked back, not even once, what did that mean for me?

My mother used to tell me to move on; she would say that he wasn't worth the tears. And, maybe it was easier for her to say. He was just a husband to her, someone only bound to her on paper. He was my flesh, my own motherfucking blood. When she would slander his name and ridicule his existence to her friends, I sat there wondering if she felt the same about me. I questioned her love, wondering if she regretted me more than she ever even knew. I held her back; she was stuck at home with me at nights instead of being able to party with the other divorced women. The regret seemed to move to hate, in my opinion. She would often get so mad that she would wish me dead. I looked back later and blamed it on all the stress she was under being a single mom with not much family to help her out.

As a child, when you don't even feel love from your parents its hard to ever feel love for yourself. I hurt myself and I hid my pain to the outside world with humor. I begged for the numbness, wanting to recreate it everyday. The night I got the tattoo on my neck I'd stolen my neighbor's drivers license and took a bus downtown to the local tattoo parlor. It was my sixteenth birthday. My mom and step-father were on a vacation and didn't have access to a phone to call me. I'd received a post card from them, telling me how wonderful a time they were having and how much they weren't ready to come home. In the bottom corner of the card there was a little note: P.S. Happy 16th Birthday. That was the only acknowledge I'd gotten from anyone.

The tattoo artist was apprehensive about the tattoo, but I told him that I had wanted it for years. I explained to him that it actually held a nice special meaning in my heart, which was all a lie. As I lay on the table, I immersed myself in the pain from the needle internally begging for more. When he was done, he had me stand up and take a look at it in the mirror. There, hidden underneath all of my hair were the two little words: Lost Cause. These two little words helped me get through many rough times in my life. Anytime I would feel left out or alone, I would push back my ponytail and remind myself of why I was unloved. It was a constant reminder, easier hidden than cut marks on a wrist but just as effective. It was my own personal secret; until Edward. He probably never fully understood how much I kept to myself, and how hard these baby steps were for me. But it didn't matter; all that mattered was that he was with me. He was willing to not give up. I didn't care about rules or outside people; I was willing to sacrifice whatever I needed to in order to keep him in my life.

~*~

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Next chapter will be posted: Wednesday, Oct 7th!