Mom says I used to love mash potatoes, until two years ago when I just stopped eating them. No reason at all, no allergies, no twisted story behind it or childhood nightmares that scared me off of them. I simply just decided not to like them anymore. It wasn't until last thanksgiving at the dinner table that I decided to have mash potatoes again. I guess sometimes the feelings we start to have again are feelings that never really went away in the first place.

Unfortunately the same could not be said for our family road trips to see grandma and grandpa. Jesse McCartney's Beautiful Soul blared from the speaker of her old station wagon as my mother tapped the steering wheel and sang along. She had a mass collections of CD's she packed especially for the journey so far we'd only made it through half the collection. Trust me you've never known torture until you've been locked in a car with your mother for ten hours on a road trip across the four state lines.

Traveling to faraway places could be fun from the getting ready to go and packing up the car all the way until the first rest stop. That's when you realize the ride itself was pretty boring, road trips are code for cheap vacations of convenience. It was really just hours of waiting around until we got to the destination, which was when the trip became fun again.

I guess a family road trip would be more fun if it was more than just two people, but our family was small. It's always just been me and mom. Last week for my eighth birthday, my mom brought me this special notebook to write in. I guess she figures I have deep issues that I need to short out? Don't get me wrong, my mom is doing the best she can as a single parent. I'm sure not many kids with a single parent can say that there okay with it, but I never knew who my father was so the air of mystery is kind of vague.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder what he was like, or what my life would be like if he was still around. I mean, how can I not wonder? At the same time it makes me feel bad, almost like by thinking about him I'd admitting that my mom's isn't enough for me. I feel like I'm turning my back on everything my mother and I have been though just because I'm curious. In actuality it doesn't bother as much as you'd think it would. I've had a very good life with my mom, and we always work together at everything. How could I be mad at mom or my dad? Life happens.

"Baby, could you grab the directions out of the glove box please?"

The little brown haired girl closed her notebook and leaned forward to open the glove compartment. She winced as the seatbelt held back a little as she shift around until she found the directions. The directions were really just a list of exits on the back of old gas bill. Sitting back in her seat she unfolding the paper and then handed it to her mother who brought her sun glasses up as she began the incredible task of driving and reading at once.

Mom says we're going to grandma and grandpa's for a little while so she could think. Sometimes grownups could be so weird about the simplest things. I don't know why she just couldn't think at home like she always does. She been acting so weird lately, she asking me questions about how I'm feeling, making my favorite foods and she even let me get grandma a funny looking cat from the last gift shop we stopped at. I'm betting this has to do with butthead and that dumb ring she had around her neck.

Now I'm not one of those kids that meddle in my mother's love life because I'm hoping my dad will come back into our lives. I gave up on that dream four birthdays ago. Butthead is my mom's current boyfriend, hopefully, soon to be ex-boyfriend. His real name is Doug Peterson. I don't know how my mom doesn't see it but Doug just wasn't the right guy for her, plus he was a total geek/freak. For my birthday he got me the entire collection of encyclopedias. Doug is clueless, Doug is boring and Doug is a butthead.

It seems like this trip is going to be longer than our other ones. Which is fun, I guess. It's a good thing you have a lot of pages, because I have a feeling I'm going to be writing a lot, if not everything, down. I'm practicing for my latest career choice. I want to be a TV reporter like on the channel seven news. Mom says that reporters ask lots of questions and write everything down. So I'm going to report on everything that happens from here on end. Who knows, maybe, I'll do a story on my grandparents and how long they've been married. Or I'll write one about Little Guy, my grandpa's basset hound. There's a story to be written somewhere and I'm going to find it.

Sometimes I wonder what my dad does for a living. My mom is a high school teacher, and she teaches biology at the local high school. That's where she meet Butthead, he's a history teacher. He also smells like a bunch of old books and always has ink on his thumbs. I don't know who my dad is but I bet he would give a better gift then bunch of dumb encyclopedias.

The little girl closed her book and leaned back into her seat as she looked out the window with heavy eyes. "Mom," she said in a low voice as she brushed some hair away from her face. "Why are we going to grandma and grandpas now? Why not during basketball season like we always do?" she asked.

"I just needed to see an old friend or two," her mother said looking over at the little girl, then back up at the road. "You look tired, why don't you take a nap?"

"Is it about Butthead?"

"Alex, I told you not to call him that."

"Fine," Alex said bringing her feet up and tucking them under her, "Is it about Doug?" Alex said rolling eyes as she looked out the window.

Her mom didn't answer her for a moment as the car moved along the open highway. "Kind of," she said finally.

"Mom, isn't that our turn?" Alex sat up straight as she watched the Welcome to Albuquerque go past her window.

"Shit," she said as she glanced back. Letting out a sigh she looked up ahead at the clear road. "Alex, keep your eye on the back and tell me if it's clear?" she had packed the backseat with their things blocking her view of the road behind them.

Alex sat up in her seat and stuck her head out the window a bit and looked at the empty road "All clear on this end!"

"Thanks sweetheart," she said ducking her head as she grabbed at the wheel and turned it to her right. The car did a sharp U-turn and Alex covered her eyes as her mom pulled into the right turn.

"Never drive like mommy," her mother said looking in her side mirror then back ahead at the road.

"Trust me, when I learn how to drive I am not going to miss my turn," Alex said, her blue eyes peeking through her small hands at the road.

"Ha, ha, ha," her mother said as she picked her sun glasses up to rest on top of her head and shifted more comfortably in her seat. "So you looking forward to seeing grandma and grandpa?"

"Yeah," Alex said tucking her note book and pen into her Scooby-doo backpack. "Wait till I tell grandpa about being a reporter."

"You know when I was a little girl this place was always so much fun. I use to love it out here, the small town, friendly people, it was always just so warm and cozy."

Alex looked up at her mother who was smiling as she looked at the scenery. Her mother had long dark brown hair and caramelized colored skin where hers had always been a shade lighter with light brown hair. The differences between them were small but they had the same nose, the same small ears and crooked smile when they were telling secrets. Her hair was curly just like her moms, and they both had really small feet. Alex smiled as she looked out the window, she also like this town just like her mother did and for all the same reason her mother did.

"Why did we move away?"

Her mom sighed and turned her wheel to the left as they made their way up another street. "Well, I had to go to college, we didn't have a lot of money so we had to take the best finical aid package. Then I got a job and you were in school," she said resting her elbow on the window sill as she trucked a strand of hair away. "I just don't think it would be a great idea to up and leave all that behind," her mom answered as they drove past more houses.

"Maybe we could move back?" Alex said hopeful as she looked back at her mom.

"I not so sure we can baby," her mother said in a soft voice. "I mean what about Doug and all our friends back at home?" she said kindly.

"Doug will be fine. He won't miss us."

"I think he will?" she said matter of fact, "Doug likes you, you should give him a chance."

"No Doug likes you mom," Alex said a little annoyed, "I'm just someone's kid he has to deal with."

"Alexandra Marie Montez."

"Yeah I know," Alex mumbled as she sat back in her chair, "Be nice."