This is definitely not the best story I've written, but I wrote it in, like, September. My cousin read it and keeps bugging me to post it, so.......Ta Da!

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One day, Gandalf was walking with Merry and Pippin. They were talking about life when suddenly an elf came running through the forest and crashed into Pippin.

"Gandalf!" he cried (the elf, not Pippin). "Something's killing off everyone near the Mines of Moria! You must go in and stop it!"

"Alright, I will go. I have an idea of what it is, and I shall need the Fellowship to reunite."

The elf sped off to gather Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn. He returned after two days, and they all set off for Moria.

It was a hard walk to Moria, so they stopped at Rivendel first. Elrond said that had an idea of what it was, as well, and he sent them off well supplied and with kind words. He wasn't sure they would come back. *sob* Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn, being as smart as they were, knew what the thing was, too, and stayed behind. The rest of us mere mortals can't blame them.

They finally got to the Mines, and there was a foul smell coming from inside.

"This confirms my deepest fears," Gandalf said, though he wouldn't say what they were. Only that there were fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world.

Everything was going was going fine (other than the smell) until they got to the Bridge. It didn't hold very fond memories, but they had to continue onward anyway.

They were almost to the other side when a dark cloud with an awful smell appeared behind them. What could it be?

"What is it?" Merry asked.

"It's pretty scary, whatever it is," Pippin remarked.

"Stay close everyone," Gandalf said.

"What is it?" Merry asked again.

"You don't want to know," Pippin said, despite the fact that he didn't know himself.

"Gandalf, what is it?" Merry asked for the third time.

"This foe is beyond any of you."

"But Gandalf, what-" Merry begged yet again.

"Its………………The Bathroom Fumes."

A collective gasp went up from the company, and they ran. All but Gandalf. He stayed and produced a secret weapon. It was…………….AIR FRESHENER!!!!!!!!!!! [insert heavenly music here]

"I am the servant of the secret flame, wielder of the smell of-" he looked at the bottle, "morning breeze. Foul smells will not avail you, odor of the underworld!"

The cloud moved forward anyway, looking as though it would swallow him. *gasp*

"You……Shall not……Pass!" Gandalf yelled, squeezing the little squirty thing.

"Oh, no!" Pippin said. "It's worse than the Balrog!"

Merry turned away. "Pippin, I can't look. Tell me what happens, like you do during horror movies." Pippin nodded, unable to speak because of the scene unfolding before him.

He didn't need to worry. Gandalf and his trusty bottle of perfume stuff had it under control. He sprayed, and the creature of the underworld…disappeared! They left, and returned to Rivendel, where they reacquired Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli.

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END! *applause*

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Yeah, it's short, but I didn't feel like editing it. Just don't ask, and no one gets hurt! (or terrified out of their minds....)

Reviewers get virtual cookies!

Review! Please?