Death Note: Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual Chapter 5: Beyond, a death note fanfic

This was incredibly fun. xD B is just awesome.

Basic Information:

Name: Beyond Birthday (A.K.A. B, Backup, Rue Ryuzaki)

Date of Manufacture: September 25, 1985

Place of Manufacture: D.N. Inc., London, England

Age: 17

Height: 5'8"

Weight: 111 lbs.

Your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit comes with the following accessories:

Four long-sleave white shirts

Four pairs frayed blue jeans

Ten jars strawberry jam

One bag coffee grounds

One small dagger

One bottle Schizophrenia meds (prescription renewable)

Four Wara Ningyo straw dolls

One fire extinguisher

Unpacking Your Unit:

When you first unpack your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit, you may be quite alarmed by the fact that he is covered in what looks like blood. Don't worry—if it is blood, it's probably not his, and it could just as easily be strawberry jam. Show him around your house, taking care to make sure that he doesn't nail any straw dolls to any walls across from doorways, and he should warm up eventually to the place.

Programming:

The BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit is mildly creepy, and provided you aren't too afraid of the unit to bribe him with strawberries or jam of the same flavor, he may or may not perform the following functions.

Hitman: Do you have an enemy you need to get rid of? The BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit doesn't think very much of killing people, and as long as you can convince him that he can work it into his plans to surpass the L LAWLIET unit, he should be fine with it.

Bodyguard: Let's face it—the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit is downright creepy. Regardless of whether or not he has fighting skills, just have him walk around behind you glaring at people. We promise that no one with harmful intent will ever approach you.

Actor: Regardless of his odd habits and murderous nature, the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit is quite a good actor—he has been known to fool people into believe he is an L LAWLIET unit before, and given the likeliness that he has split personalities, could probably play a number of other roles.

Detective: The BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit was being trained to take over in the event of the L LAWLIET unit's death, and therefore will make quite a sufficient detective, as long as you can put up with his methods.

Your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit will come with six different modes:

Psychotic (default)

Determined

Envious

Calm

Hyper

Suicidal (locked) *optional*

The Psychotic mode is very different from the Determined mode, no matter how similar they may seem. In the Psychotic mode, the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit generally talks to himself and experiments with new laughs, as well as plots ways to overthrow L LAWLIET units. He will enter the DETERMINED mode when he comes up with a plan he particularly likes, and will go through with it at any cost, even his own life.

The Envious mode is activated when the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit is left alone with his thoughts for long periods of time. His one-sided rivalry with the L LAWLIET unit is attributed to jealousy. The best way to get him out of this mode is to distract him with strawberry jam, and assure him that he is much smarter than any L LAWLIET unit that you know, regardless of whether or not this is true.

The Calm mode is activated whenever you manage to convince the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit to take the Schizophrenia meds he came with, in which he will stop suffering these delusions of grandeur he seems so prone to and won't really care so much that he can see when everyone's going to die. He is at his most amiable in this mode (and his least murderous), so it is highly recommended that you sneak the meds into his coffee and/or jam.

After having too much highly sugared coffee, the BEYOND BIRTHDAY's hyper mode will be activated. If this mode was activated while he was in the Calm mode, then he will still be amiable, just rather more talkative than usual. If it was activated in either Psychotic or Determined mode, however, you can expect the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit to be even more devious than usual. Exercise extreme caution in this case.

The locked Suicidal mode can be accessed when the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit decides to use himself as a victim in his plans against L LAWLIET units, to make a case that no L LAWLIET unit could ever solve. This mode can be avoided by keeping a close eye on the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit and making sure he doesn't start pouring gasoline over himself at any point in time.

Relations With Other Units:

L LAWLIET: The archrival of the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit. It is suggested that the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit be kept away from this unit at all costs, as it could cause him to enter either his Determined or Envious mode, which could potentially lead to the unit's locked Suicidal mode.

YAGAMI LIGHT: It is more than likely inevitable that this unit will eventually kill your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit if you allow him to get himself locked up in prison. Exercise extreme caution

MELLO: It is unknown what these units honestly think of each other, though it could be said that the MELLO unit seems to pity the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit—in a way, the MELLO unit's rivalry with the NEAR unit is very similar to the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit's rivalry with L LAWLIET units, only much less intense.

ROGER:The caretaker of the orphanage the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit grew up in. It is unknown what the two think of each other.

WATARI: The owner of the orphanage the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit grew up in. It is unknown what the two think of each other.

MISORA NAOMI: The BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit uses this unit as a tool to help him fool the L LAWLIET unit, though this plan can and will backfire on him, as he underestimates the MISORA NAOMI unit's abilities. Prolonged contact could result in the activation of the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit's Suicidal mode, though he will fail at his attempts and get thrown in a maximum security prison. Prolonged contact between the two is not recommended.

Cleaning:

Your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit is perfectly capable of cleaning himself. Please do not attempt to clean him. We at D.N. Inc. cannot be held accountable for any stab-wounds or deaths that might result if you do not heed this warning.

Energy:

Your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit has quite a fondness for strawberries and strawberry jam, but it is a good idea to force him to eat something else occasionally.

Frequently Asked Questions:

InkedButterfly:My BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit keeps murdering people with embarrassingly weird names. Is there any way I can prevent further behavior?

A: Your best bet would be to sneak one to two of the Schizophrenia meds into his strawberry jam or coffee. If he has hidden them from you, we will discreetly send you a new bottle. It is imperative to not only the safety of others, but also your own and the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit's safety, that he be given these pills regularly.

Have-a-cookie:My BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit is acting kind and amiable. Should I be concerned?

A: If you haven't been giving him his medication, then yes, this is very odd behavior. Perhaps you were sent an L LAWLIET unit by mistake? It is a common mistake made here at D.N. Inc. because the two units resemble each other so much. We will gladly fix the error if you wish for us to do so.

Have-a-cookie: My BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit refuses to eat the jam I buy him. Is something wrong?

A: Something is indeed very wrong. You may want to talk to him or take him to a doctor. You're either buying him the wrong brand or he's sick. You could also try resetting the unit, and if worst comes to work, we will send you a new unit.

Mikomikokoro:My BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit has locked himself in my bedroom and won't come out, even though it smells like there's a fire. What should I do?

A: This is a very bad thing. It will be required that you break down the door immediately with the fire extinguisher sent in the original packaging in hand, as your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit has more than likely set himself on fire. If you make it in too late, we will gladly send you a new unit or a full refund.

Mikomikokoro:My BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit is nailing strange dolls to the walls of my room. Should I be concerned?

A: You shouldn't be concerned—you should be afraid for your life. Your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit has picked you for his next victim. Do both your first and surname start with a B by any chance? Perhaps a Q? Change your name immediately. If you feel you don't have the time for this, call up an L LAWLIET or MISORA NAOMI unit to have him placed under arrest immediately. We will gladly send you either a new unit or a full refund of your original purchase.

Troubleshooting:

Problem: Your unit is eating nothing but jam.

Solution: Convince him to eat some real food. It may be required that this real food be covered in strawberry jam before he agrees to touch it.

Problem: Your unit won't stop experimenting with different laughs and it's beginning to scare you.

Solution: Buy a pair of earplugs. The BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit will continue to experiment with laughs until he finds something more interesting to do with his time.

Problem: Your unit is covered in a dark red substance.

Solution: This is probably blood. If you're concerned for your own safety, have him arrested. If not, make him take a bath.

Problem: Your unit is nailing Wara Ningyo dolls to the walls of your house.

Solution: Either reset your unit or have him arrested, since it probably means he's going to kill you.

Problem: Your unit has teamed up with a YAGAMI LIGHT unit to help him overthrow all L LAWLIET units and eventually take over the world.

Solution: Run. No, really. We're not joking. This is not a situation you want to get involved in.

Problem: Your unit is on fire.

Solution: We did send that fire extinguisher with the BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit for a reason. Retrieve it and put out the fire.

Warranty:

With proper care and maintenance, your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit should live until all the red numbers over his head run out, or until a dying Shinigami decides to use him as a life replenishing source. If you should get tired of your BEYOND BIRTHDAY unit's murderous tendencies, then buy a MISORA NAOMI unit. He'll be lighting himself on fire, getting arresting, and being murdered by a YAGAMI LIGHT unit in no time at all.

Woo-hoo. That made for quite a fun fifteen-or-so minutes. I think I'll get back to some more serious writing now.

On a side note, D.N. Inc. would like to know if you have any questions for your NEAR unit, as they will be releasing his Owner's Guide an Maintenance Manual next. I've already gotten a few questions on him, so I figured it would be convenient.