What Do I Say? By Marbs

Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliott Stabler have been partners for 13 years and have through so much. The last 5 years though, their partnership has been tense and filled with professional and personal problems, each one dealing with it on their own. They were both too close. Too close to a point where Elliott once had to chose between being there for his partner when she got cut on her neck or go after the perp. He knew that his job was to go after the suspect but he couldn't and wouldn't leave Olivia. Olivia had told him to go after the suspect and leave her there. They were so close that each had had question their loyalty and dedication to the job and to each other. Feeling guilty, Olivia had to take a break and decided to transfer to Computer Crimes. Elliott felt betrayed and neglected by Olivia. Both had too much pride to admit that they were both wrong and needed to deal with their feelings. They put it aside like they always do. Finally, she came back and found their groove again. Then Elliott started to have problems with his marriage and was even on the verge of a divorce. At first, Olivia tried to be understanding but more and more, his temper got worse and most of the time, he ended up taking it out on her. She was dealing with her own personal problems, finding out that she had a half brother and how after all these years of searching for the monster who hurt her mother and the reason for her being brought into this world, she finds out that he was a loving father to him. How do you deal with that? Each case got harder and harder for her to deal with until the FBI asked her to go undercover. She left without a word. She only spoke to their Captain and without a goodbye, she left Elliott again. The last time she left, it hurt Elliott. But this time, it was even worse. He didn't even know where was. He needed his best friend. Yes, he did shut her out and he was mean to her at times, but he never meant to push her away. So Elliott turned to his new partner Dani Beck. The more he got close to Dani, the more he missed Olivia. Then Olivia came back again but they have said so little and felt too much that the gap have become wider even if they tried to fix things, one always hesitates. One is always afraid of being hurt or being turned away. Even if Elliott knew there was something wrong and that she's hurting, he never said a word to her. Elliott thought that after the birth of his son Eli, and Olivia being there to save both Eli and Kathy, things would get back to normal. He hugged her so tight that night at the hospital. He wanted to let her know how much she means to him. How much he truly loved her. But little did Elliott know, that day and that moment, was a defining one for Olivia. It was then that she realized what she wanted and what she had missed. So just like before, she pulled herself away from Elliott. And this angered Elliott more. Elliott was shocked at her revelation that she did try to adopt but she was turned down because she worked too much and was a single. He saw the sadness in her eyes. He always knew that Olivia would make a great mother. He wanted to say more but he couldn't. Then the incident in Sealview happened. She went undercover with Fin. Elliott couldn't stand not being there to watch her and protect her. He knew something happened that day. Something horrible but she would not say a word to him or anybody. He tried so hard to get her to open up but his approach is always wrong. The more he pushed, the more she pulled away.

An offer from Computer Crimes came again. Olivia doesn't know what to do. She's 40 years old and she decided that she's ready to become a mother. She's not going to adopt but instead, is going to be artificially inseminated. The offer from Computer Crimes couldn't come at a better time. This way, she will work less hours and isn't out chasing perps when she's pregnant. This time she decided to talk to Elliott first.

She has been sitting on the offer for about a week now. Computer Crimes said they will give her as much time as she needed. But she also needed to make a decision on the baby. So after wrapping up a case, Olivia asked Elliott out for dinner.

"So Liv what is this dinner about?" Elliott asked.

"It seems so long ago since we actually sat down and talked. You know, really talked El."

Elliott eyed his partner curiously. Even without speaking, he could tell that his partner is hiding something.

"Tell me Liv, what is really going on? What is on your mind?"

"El, you're my best friend. I know that the last few years, we seemed more like strangers than best friends. And we are both to blame for that. But that's not what I want to talk about. El, I got an offer from Computer Crimes."

"Liv, don't tell me you're leaving me again? What did I do this time?"

"El, I'm not leaving you because of something you did. Besides I have not even decided yet. That's why I wanted to talk to you."

"You know what I will say Liv."

"Won't you even hear me out? I want to tell you something El."

"I'm sorry Liv. I'm not listening again am I?"

"It's okay. El, I'm 40 years old. I'm single and I don't have a whole lotta time on when I should become a mother. I want to do that now and the only way for me to do that is to quit SVU for the meantime. I can't go around chasing perps when I'm pregnant. The offer from Computer Crimes couldn't have come at a better time."

"Liv, are you trying to say you are pregnant? Who is the father?"

"El, I'm not at least not yet. I have decided to get artificially inseminated. I am not dating right now and I feel that this is the best way for me to have a baby. I have consulted a doctor and she said that anytime I make a decision, I can come and take a look at some of the candidates."

"Liv, I can understand your desire to be a mother but is this the only way? I mean, it's a stranger's sperm and the kid will grow up not knowing his or her father."

"Elliott, I need you to support me on this. Please, Elliott."

"Okay, Liv if this is what you want."

When Elliott got home that night, he couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about what Olivia said to him. Yes, it bothered him that Olivia is transferring to Computer Crimes but what bothered him the most was Olivia was going to be carrying another man's child, a stranger's baby. After another hour of staring at the ceiling, Elliott got and got dressed. He drove as fast as he could.

Olivia was woken up by the loud banging on her door. She looked at her watch and saw that's it's past midnight. She prayed that the banging would stop but it didn't. It's got to be Elliott, she thought.

She got up and opened the door.

"You didn't eve ask who was at the door?"

"Elliott, only you would bang on my door at this time of the night. What are you doing here Elliott? It's past midnight for God sake!"

"I know Liv and I'm sorry."

"So speak. What is so important that you drove all the way here?"

"Liv, I can't sleep. I kept thinking about what you said."

"El, you could still come and see me at the Computer Crimes office."

"Liv, it's not that. It's about you having a baby."

"What about it Elliott? It's my decision El."

"I know but you are having a stranger's baby."

"Didn't we just have this discussion earlier? What is bugging you Elliott?"

"I know. I know we did Liv. But I was wondering, maybe, ah…"

"What Elliott? Maybe what? Just say what you came here to say?"

"I want to be the father of your baby. There I said it."

"What? Are you crazy? What will Kathy say?"

"It's my decision, Liv."

"And she's your wife Elliott. You have worked so hard to get back together and you have Eli. El, this isn't fair. And this isn't right. Elliott, please just go home."

"Liv, just promise me that you will think about it."

"What do you want me to say El?"

"I don't know, Liv."

Olivia took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Feeling a big headache coming, she motioned for Elliott to leave.

She closed the door and sat on her couch until the morning came.

What will she say? What will she do?

Olivia doesn't know….

While Elliott sits outside her door waiting for an answer…