Panda Note: This chapter has been updated on 10/20/12. I'm going to be doing this for the rest of the story so expect it to be better later on. I'm also doing the same with the sequel and will be updating that soon.

Chapter 1: Preface

A Panda Note - I post updates on what's going on with this story or life in general if you want to know. I usually let you know when I'll be updating or why I won't be. So check out my profile. You can also message me whenever and I'll get back to you when I can.

Disclaimer: I in no way own iCarly, I wouldn't be writing this fanfiction if I did. I'd be out making the show and placing Sam and Freddie in romantic situations as it should be. hah!

Prologue

It's harder when you're too young to understand adult conversations. Words like 'Incapable' as well as 'Failure' flying around the room at speeds that would anyone's head spin. When a woman sits against a wall and sobs herself dry. All a child can do is absorb the act and learn from it as best they can.

Her father didn't even say good-bye. He stepped through the door and vanished into the falling rain. It seemed that even the weather felt bad for the child.

She could remember every detail of his face, every curve. His sandy blond hair, shoulder length and wavy that looked exactly like hers. His bright blue eyes that reminded her of painted skies and oncoming storms. They used to smile at her, laugh. But that night they only conveyed what she feared them most. The storm had reached its climax and was raging within his blue eyes.

A good-bye would have been simple enough; all she got was a look that said 'I'll never see you again'. If only that were the case, if only she could have hoped that he would remain gone. Her heart couldn't take another glance at him in the flesh, hear him say her name without the love it used to carry.

Before he left though there had been a 'tragedy' as her parents had said, in their family. She didn't understand what that meant but her mother had said that her best friend was gone up to heaven.

Her mother had fallen deep into a spiraling depression. She threw herself into her job and rarely came home, finding comfort within the arms of unknown men. It seemed it was easier for her to cope. Not having that constant reminder before her each day, in the eyes of her child. His blue eyes looking up at her in despair, need and love; that which the older woman couldn't seem to give.

The pain of her losses were hard to swallow; every time her little girl looked at her the expressions and emotions would change. As years passed she could see the shift, the looks get colder and colder until the child found her own way to cope with rejection and loss.

It tore her up from the inside out, knowing that she had caused this change in her child. She couldn't hold onto her husband and she couldn't be what her daughter needed. She couldn't even keep her dear friend from leaving. Her own act of selfishness was blatantly obvious. She made sure that her last act in the play of her life would be one that she knew would show that inside she loved her daughter.

Sighing; the older woman glanced around the ruins of a once happy home. She could see her little girl running around happily chasing her father. Cheering with glee after her mother placed sliced ham before her. The glimmer in her eyes just before she shut them to fall into her dream world.

How could she have taken that away from her child? How could she have stripped away the innocence in her soul?

The reflection presented before her was one of a tired and worn woman. Aged far beyond her years with crinkled lines tracing down her face, she was a stranger to herself.

With the appropriate documents signed, she placed them in an envelope and put it on display for her daughter to stumble upon. Glancing up at the clock she found that she had about three hours before her daughter would be arriving home from school.

Could she really go through with her plan? Could she place her daughter in yet another situation without her mother at her side? Could she make these decisions for the young girl? It almost made the older woman change her mind about what she planned to do, for just a split second. By going through with her plans she was taking all choices out of other peoples hand.

With her mind clear she nodded to herself and continued on her chosen path.

Her best choice would be to do this where she couldn't be seen by her daughter's eyes. That's the least she could do, spare her having to walk in on it and never recover.

Grabbing all the required items she needed she proceeded to walk out the front door.

Tonight Sarah Puckett would leave this world.

Panda Note: There is much more to come. I just had to write a prologue so if this is confusing well I'm sorry but it will make sense soon, I hope. I've been curious about Sam's parents and I don't think her dad died. When a parent dies a child reacts differently than a child would whose parent leaves them. It messes with their head. They begin to wonder if it was there fault. So they keep people at a distance as well as cover up their feelings with a defense mechanism. Etc.

Just click Review or click on the arrow that says continue. The story isn't like this if you move forward. Remember this is a prologue.