I do not own Twilight or its' characters, Stephanie Meyer does

I know the first few chapters kind of go back and forth between characters, but the majority of the story is officially told by Bella with a few chapters here and there in Edward's perspective. (my favorite perspective!) It starts off kind of slow, but gets better, I promise. Let me know if I should post the rest of it! Thanks so much!

Ever since I had known Edward he had protected me and I had always wished that someday I could repay him. Little did I know that the day would come sooner than I had expected.

BPOV

Chapter 1

Plans

Edward and I had been together for a year or so by now with some separation in between. The time we had spent away from each other proved to be extremely detrimental to both of us and we had long since decided to never let it happen again. We focused now on the future, we would be graduating from high school within a month or so and we were trying to decide what to do. Edward, being that he was a one hundred year old vampire in a seventeen year-old-body had graduated many times, and gone to many different colleges as well. I, on the other hand, really was an eighteen year old who was graduating for the first time. Edward was pushing for me to go to college, which would have been my original plan, but now I was pushing for Edward to turn me into a vampire, take me into his family and whisk me away from my stupid, boring life in Forks Washington once and for all. Edward was vehemently opposed to my second option.

"Bella, when are you going to drop this? When are you going to drop this notion that your life would be better spent as a walking corpse?" Edward asked as he wrinkled his brow in frustration.

"Never," I said smiling at him.

"Aren't you even curious about college? The whole college experience? Expanding your horizons and all that?"

"No not really." I answered flatly

Edward sighed, exasperated, and got up from the table. He made a little circle around the small kitchen in my father's house and leaned up against the counter, staring at me with his arms crossed across his chest. He looked annoyed. "Bella, college has so much to offer someone like you. More than just an education, college makes you a well rounded person." He explained, in a very parental tone, "and you're telling me that you're not interested in any of it?"

I got up from the table and slinked over to where he was standing at the counter. "I think I'm a very well rounded person." I said taking either side of his jacket in my hands. He smiled his crooked smile that I couldn't resist and looked down at me. He took both sides of my face and kissed me.

"Besides," he said playing into my weaknesses, "if we went to college together we could have our own place and I could kiss you anytime I wanted to." He murmured.

"We can do that as vampires too." I whispered back

He let my face go and backed off, "and the mood has passed." This was a really touchy subject with Edward.

"Edward…"

"No Bella, seriously, I don't want to consider that right now. We'll have plenty of time to discuss that in the future; maybe while we're at college." He hinted.

I gave up and let out a big sigh, defeated, "fine. Fine, fine fine. I won't keep bringing it up. Okay, yeah, let's go to college together." I said, unenthused. "Where are we looking at this point?"

"What do you think about Alaska?" he asked. "We were both accepted there, there's a uniquely accommodating climate and plenty of hunting. Plus, if anything comes up we'll be far enough away from Charlie and Renee to have an excuse as to why we can't visit much."

I brightened up immediately at the prospect of finally getting what I wanted from him within the next four years. "You know what Edward? As long as you and I get to be together it doesn't matter to me where we go to college. Alaska it is." I said smiling at him.

"Excellent." He smiled with a satisfactory tone.

So it was decided that Edward and I would be heading off to college in the fall to Alaska. We spent the afternoon filling out all of the paperwork and writing our essays. Of course Edward finished first and then went on to proofread and correct my essay for me. As the evening started to approach, Edward had to head home for awhile to take care of some things but said that he would be back. At this point, Edward almost always spent every night in my room with me. I legitimately spent most of that time asleep, and I always wondered how he kept himself entertained for hours on end since he, himself, could not sleep. It didn't seem to matter though, whenever I woke up in the morning Edward was always there and seemed very content. I wouldn't mess with what I thought was perfection.

I spent the rest of my night cooking dinner for Charlie, watching TV with him and finishing up some leftover homework. By eleven, Charlie was asleep and I had showered, put on my pajamas and was sitting in my room waiting for Edward. He showed up almost immediately, his timing was uncanny.

"I gave Carlisle the news about Alaska; he's arranging to get us a place up there." Edward beamed as he fluidly entered through the open window.

"A place? Like an apartment or something?" I asked quirking an eyebrow, guess there was no backing out of this now.

"More like a house Bella." Edward explained as he flopped down on my bed resting his hands behind his head.

"A house, our own house, really?" I asked getting excited. I hopped onto the bed next to him bouncing slightly on my knees.

"Oh, so now you're excited about going to school? I just had to throw in a house to sweeten the deal?" He grinned.

"A house with you in it, if you're not in it then we have no deal." I paused for a minute. "Listen Edward, you're right. I should go to school and get an education and the whole 'college experience'." I said, making quotes with my fingers. "Honestly, it really was my plan all along, I just got…sidetracked. But I really want you to consider what I had asked for before…unless…you don't think you really want me around forever." I said softly. I looked down at the bed and I could feel him watching me.

It was quiet for a moment, as if he was thinking about how he wanted to phrase he next sentence carefully. Finally, he spoke. "Bella," he took my chin in his hand and gently turned it to face him. "Bella, there is nothing in this world that could keep me away from you for as long as I exist. I don't want to be anywhere you're not but it's selfish and reckless to end your life on account of me." He looked away from me without taking his hand off my chin. I hated when he got like this. I placed my hand over his and felt the iciness of it that was always there, no matter what time of year it was. "I want you to be able to enjoy your life," He continued. "Your mortality is more precious to me than anything else. I've tried tremendously hard to protect you… but then, to be the one who ends your life would destroy me." He dropped his hand from my face and looked away again.

"Edward, I don't look at this as the end of my life, I look at it as a beginning of the life I've always wished for."

"You shouldn't say that." He warned, "you don't know what's waiting on the other side for you. It could be more horrifying than you think."

"Not if it's you on the other side." I assured him.

"I can't love you the way a normal person can." He nearly choked on his statement. He looked very sad at that moment, like I had something that he couldn't have. As if! To me Edward had everything. He was the most brilliant person I knew, he could play music, he could compose music, he was beautiful to look at, he was athletic, he had confidence in most things, and his character was infallible. All these qualities he chalked up to immortality, but I often felt that he had probably always been this way. I often would wonder what Edward had been like when he was alive; that if he was just some boy I met at school if he would dazzle me the way he did now. I always felt that he would have.

"No you can't." I said softly. I crawled over to him and leaned on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me and looked into my eyes. "A normal person would have trouble with me, what with my accident proneness, and my stubbornness, and my emotional awkwardness. I need a person that is unselfish," I kissed his ear, "patient, kind" I kissed his jaw, "and soothing…" I rested my face against his collarbone "I need an extraordinary person to love me."

"You certainly do." He agreed sadly. He buried his nose in my hair and kissed me softly, rubbing my back. "You certainly do."

There was a moment or two of silence between us. I kept my head nestled in his hard chest and listened to him breathing. "So, tell me all about college." I started, "tell me all about what really goes on. Is it all about drinking and partying and hooking up just like in all those stupid teen movies?" I inquired lightly.

"It probably is, but I really never got a chance to take that all in at first hand. For obvious reasons…with all those drunken teenagers and twenty something's walking around, it'd be like shooting fish in a barrel." He said rolling his eyes and smirking."

"I betcha you could be a frat boy." I teased.

"Right, I'm sure I would blend very well."

"Think about it," I explained, "Your father is a doctor, your family is rich and powerful, you're charming and with your smoldering good looks and your grades, you could totally get in." Edward frowned at me; he looked like I had offended him. "I mean that as a compliment of course." I smiled at him like I was trying to make it up to him. He remained silent and just stared at me with his frowny expression. I continued to babble, "no, I take it back you wouldn't get in." Edward looked incredulous.

"Why not?" He asked, his smooth voice rising slightly.

"You're too brilliant and you're socially inept." I was quiet then waiting for some kind of smart ass response from Edward. He was a man of few words tonight but he didn't seem like he was upset about anything, he just seemed thoughtful, pensive. I still felt like I was talking to myself. "You're awfully quiet tonight. What are you thinking about?" This was a question that he and I often passed around to each other since neither of us could read the other one's thoughts as with most couples.

"I'm trying to remember college," he said dreamily looking up at the ceiling. I lay down on my back on the other side of the bed beside him and looked at the ceiling with him. He turned on his side resting his head on top of one of his arms and looked at me. "I honestly don't remember any of it really. But then again, I had a lot to protect and worry about when I was on my own."

I turned on my side and positioned myself the same way he was and looked at him. "So you went and lived away at college?" I asked.

"Multiple times."

"What were your majors?" I asked very interested. I looked over at my alarm clock and the time was near reaching midnight. I had to go to school the next day, but I didn't care, I just wanted to hear him speak and this was a subject that he didn't talk about very much; himself. He almost seemed embarrassed to do so. "Tell me something about you that I don't know," I pressed.

"Well," he said looking up at the ceiling as if trying to see his memory "medicine was first and foremost. Just like Carlisle I guess…I have two medical degrees."

"Didn't your peers think you seemed a little young?" I asked

"Well, yes at first, but then they accepted it as kind of like a Doogie Howser type thing." He smiled a big grin at me.

"Then what?" I asked dreamily. I must have seemed like a child listening to a bedroom story to him.

"Then I went to school for music theory and composition a few times. Some of the arts, and then I tried the lawyer route just for fun, that didn't last though, I dropped out, they were bloodsuckers; even worse than me." He grinned a stupid grin. "That was a joke Bella."

"I know." I said flatly.

"That was the extent of my college experience. I never went to parties, I never made friends, I never dated, I never did any of it."

"Why not?" I asked when I already knew the answer. I could just picture it, Edward, self denying, self sacrificing, in control Edward who had spent his entire existence trying to deny who he was to keep everyone safe. I could see him standing on a college campus, teeming with naïve, self gratifying young people crazed with their new found freedom. How easy it would have been for him to take someone away from all of it. A person who was away from parents, in overcrowded classrooms where no teacher would notice their absence, possibly intoxicated…And the women, might as well just ring a dinner bell. Edward could have any woman; sober or stoned and he probably could have persuaded her to go anywhere or do anything with him and she would oblige. He was so beautiful and charismatic; I had seen him get his way all the time by just turning up the charm an iota. Edward probably spent every day in angst trying to control his instincts while away at college and without his family as a support system it was probably even more difficult. No wonder he didn't get out much. I was surprised he wanted to go back. My run on thought was interrupted by his answer.

"I had to remain extremely focused while at school so I wouldn't slip up. My family, my sanity and my future all depended on my behavior while I was there. Not that anybody really ever invited me to do anything anyways. I kind of creeped people out. And I certainly had no interest in women or much of anything for that matter. I was a very different person before I met you."

"So I've been told." He smiled at me then and brushed my hair out of my face. My heart skipped a beat.

"You should get some sleep. We have a final tomorrow." He took my hand in his.

"Final schminal, I want you to tell more about yourself." I said sleepily.

"Bella, it's not like you don't know a million things about me already. Besides, I'm not going anywhere."

"Will you be here in the morning?"

"If you wish." He touched my face lightly. In light of a verbal response, I just smiled. He could read me so well. "Okay," he said pulling the blanket up over my shoulders. Then came the moment I always waited for, he leaned over, tilted my chin up to him and kissed me on my lips, long and soft, romantic…"I love you my Bella." He murmured. He reached behind me and switched off the lamp. He rolled over and lay on his back again on top of the covers while I was underneath. I would never get used to that. We always had the blanket to separate us because otherwise I would freeze against his frosty granite skin, one of the few downfalls of dating the undead, limited snuggling capacity. I sighed, silence, I looked at the clock, 12:30 and I wasn't tired at all.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"Have you ever gotten drunk?"

The light snapped on without me even feeling him move. "What?!" he questioned testily.

"You heard me."

"Bella, what is bringing this on tonight?"

"Just thinking about the kind of atmosphere I may be taking on that's all." I said coolly. "These are things that may come up in the next four years or so and I just want to get an idea of your realm of expertise just so I know how to behave." Did I really just admit that? Did I just let Edward know that I was feeling a little insecure of how inexperienced a person I was? How sheltered my life had been from the other people of my/our generation? Maybe I just held him in such esteem that I didn't want to make myself look like a silly, petty, out of control person in front of him…ever.

"I really wish I could get inside your head, love." He said shaking his head. He sat up cross legged on the bed and looked at me. I adjusted myself so I was facing him.

"Right now I wish you could too."

"Really?" he asked, surprised, "that never happens." There was a long pause, "it's a good thing I don't need any sleep. Okay, yes I've been drunk a couple times."

"How many times?" why was I asking him this? Why did I care?

"Well, generally, a couple means two." He answered in a surly tone.

"Yes, generally" I was starting to get tired because now I was really sounding stupid.

"It was when I was mortal, so we're talking during prohibition practically."

"Oh how dangerous…" I said sarcastically

"Anyways, the first time it was half a bottle of bourbon and I got sick."

"And the second time?"

"And the second time it was half a bottle of bourbon and I got sick." I looked at him questioningly and he answered my gaze with "I had to be sure." He smiled crookedly at me and I started laughing at him and then he joined in. "It happened shortly after I had decided I was going to go to war when I turned eighteen. My mother and I got into a fight and I walked out and spent the evening with a friend of mine. We were feeling a little rowdy and worked up so we raided his parents buffet and found the bottle and split it. Next day I was so sick that I could barely function. The hangover passed and then we did the same thing the following weekend. We probably would have kept going on like that for awhile but my parents got sick and then so did I and we all know what happened after that. "

"So, did you enjoy it?"

"I liked the taste of it. It seemed sweet and syrupy to me. When I was alive, I had a bit of a sweet tooth. That's probably one of the reasons I'm so addicted to your scent, the sweetness of it, maybe it reminds me of when I was alive. Being intoxicated was pretty interesting too if I remember right. My friend had a plush carpet in his parlor and I remember I would lie on my back spread eagle and it would feel like the room was spinning and that I was melting into the floor. It was a great feeling, no cares, no inhibitions, yes; I guess I did enjoy it. I must have if I was going back to do it for a second time. "He said thoughtfully. I felt silly for feeling that brief panic of insecurity. I was more experienced than that. But who knows, maybe if Edward lived longer than he did, maybe…a shiver went through me.

"What about you?" he asked suddenly.

"Huh? Me? Oh yeah, um, I've been drunk a few times." I muttered

"Really miss?" he sounded amused. Now maybe it was time for me to share a story or two.

"I had a few wild friends in phoenix. I don't think I've really had a drink since I left there."

"Really," he asked, sitting up a little straighter, very interested now, "a few rowdy friends?" He thought for a minute. "Yes, I could see that." He grinned to himself and I saw him touch his tongue against one of his teeth like picturing me with a bunch of rowdy girls was giving him some kind of secret pleasure.

"It's not like we were the 'outsiders' or anything." I said with a laugh. "Wait, what do you mean you could see that?"

"Well, you always said that you kind of felt like the parent around Renee, like you were always humoring her and going along with her whims while keeping her feet on the ground. That's a lot of responsibility for a child, especially when the other parent is so far away. I could see you hanging around with a few irresponsible girls just so you could feel release. So you could lose control and act like a bratty kid for once." It was true, he was right. I always had been responsible, always been the one keeping everyone grounded, doing what was right for everyone else and slowly losing my mind in the process.

"You have an old soul Isabella Swan." Edward said as he took my hand in his and kissed it gently

"Not as old as yours, Edward Cullen." I murmured. He laughed softly and leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes and just breathed in his sweet scent.

"You need sleep or you're not going to pass that final, you're not going to get into college and we'll be stuck in Forks forever. Well, at least I will be."

"You're right." I said to him as the clock hit one o'clock. "I need sleep." I waited for him to take his forehead off mine but he just stayed still, as if in a trance. Then he kissed my head and shut the light off. I fell asleep almost instantly.

I could not wake up the next morning to save my life. Edward had to wake me up in fact. As he had promised he had stayed through the night, not that there was a whole lot of night left to stay through by the time I was finished talking with him.

"Bella, Bella, love, you need to get up. We're going to be late for school." He was rubbing my back. I opened my eyes weakly and stared up at him. He smiled warmly at me.

"Hey." I said softly

"Hello. Sorry to wake you, I let you sleep in a little but you're going to be pushing it if you don't get up now." He said gently.

"Let's skip first period." I proposed.

"No."

"Come on, we're seniors!" I complained

"No. I made breakfast."

"Did you really?" Edward was watching a lot of food network online these days, since there was nothing else for him to do while I slept at night. He liked Rachel Ray a lot because she was 'vibrant and cooked quickly' he hated Giada because she 'insists upon herself' and Paula Dean just confused him with her dialect. As for Bobby Flay, well we had our own theories about him. "What'd you make?" I asked.

"Mushroom and spinach frittata," he said pleased with himself. "Get dressed and I'll grab it out of the oven. Meet you downstairs!" He quickly kissed my cheek and disappeared.

We got to school just in time to make it to our first class, I think Edward was a little cross at me for not getting enough sleep prior to our Biology final, but I didn't care, I knew the material like the back of my hand. Talking to him was more important to me anyways. I had to work after school, but then I was planning on going to the Cullen's for "dinner" or so I told Charlie. Better grab something to eat on the way…

When I arrived at the giant mansion in the woods, Jasper and Emmett were in the front yard playing football, surprisingly, no trees had been uprooted yet. I pulled my huge clunky red pickup truck up the driveway to the svelte house.

"Hey Bella!" Emmett waved; Jasper gave me a friendly nod.

"Hey guys." I called back as I headed inside.

Edward's mother Esme greeted me as I walked in the front door. She immediately came over and kissed me warmly on the cheek and embraced me tightly."Good evening Bella."

"Hi Esme!" before I could even ask where Edward was, I heard him playing his piano in the adjacent room. Esme gestured for me to join him.

"Hello beautiful." Edward said as a huge smile spread across his face. He was seated at a grand piano playing softly as he spoke. He played a tune that I couldn't recognize and I suspected it was something he may have written himself. I sat down beside him on the bench as he continued to play. "How was your final?"

"Probably would have gone better if I had gotten some sleep, but I still have confidence that I did fine." I said

He chuckled a little under his breath and said, "Well, that settles it then, I won't be coming over tonight, you need some sleep and you have a trig test coming up Wednesday."

"Yeah, you're probably right, maybe we should hold off on the sleepovers a little bit until school finishes up. I want to still be able to get into college this fall."

"Precisely." Edward said as he lapsed into 'China' by Tori Amos on the piano. As a Christmas gift to me this year he had taught himself how to play the entire 'Little Earthquakes' album for me simply because he knew that I preferred homemade gifts. "Anyways, you know what they say, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'." He leaned over to kiss me and was interrupted by a sparkly, wind chime voice.

"That it does!" Alice giggled as she entered the room. Alice was Edward's favorite sister. She resembled more of a pixie in a Tim Burton film rather than a vampire. Today she had gone the cute route with her attire and was sporting a blue baby doll top and army green cargo pants with black Mary Jane shoes. Her black spiky hair looked particularly spiky and out of control today and her huge gold eyes danced around in the light like she had a story to tell.

"Alice!" I exclaimed as I hopped off the bench and went to hug her. Alice had been away for the last week or so getting information on nearby universities, because like Edward, she too was graduating for the twentieth time this year.

Edward stopped playing and turned his body on the piano bench to face her. "So, what's the verdict? What program are you getting into this year?"

"Medicine." She said promptly.

"Medicine? But you've already got a degree in that, don't you think you might get, bored?" He asked.

"No, because I want to go into veterinary medicine." She explained.

"You want to be a veterinarian?" Edward asked in disbelief.

"Not quite, I was thinking more like a veterinary technician."

"Why?"

"Why not?" She retorted with a smirk.

"Seems like a bit of a waste of time to me, that's all." He said shrugging his shoulders and getting up from the bench.

"Edward, why would you say that?" I butted in, a little surprised. Edward was usually very open minded and down to Earth.

He turned around quickly and looked at me, incredulous. "Well, Bella, I'm just saying that…" he was at a loss for words.

"aa-n-y-ways," Alice started, "I was looking into some schools and there just happens to be a veterinary school in Seattle that has a technician program that I'm looking into."

"That's great Alice! I'm sure you'll really enjoy it." I encouraged. Edward rolled his eyes at her.

"Thank you Bella." She said, placing the emphasis on the word you. "I heard that the two of you were going to go to Alaska. That's exciting, and it will provide you with a good alibi you know, in case you..."

"That's enough Alice." Edward said sternly.

"Don't worry Bella; it is going to happen eventually." Alice assured me. I smiled mischievously as I heard a low growl coming from Edward's corner of the room. "So what do you think your major will end up being?" Alice asked.

"Oh, I don't know, I can't really think of a whole lot I'm very good at."

"That's why you go to school, to become better at something and make a difference." Alice said happily

"I'm not sure. I like the whole idea of teaching, that is until I would have to get up in front of a classroom. I hate being the center of attention and I would probably fall down or something in the middle of a lecture." I could feel Edward watching me and in the corner of my eye I saw him smiling to himself.

"You seem like someone who would do well in a position of service." Alice said sitting down on the piano bench. "You seem to do best when you're worrying about someone." she smiled at me and took my right hand in hers. A smile played across her lips, "you'll major in social work. You're going to help people; you're going to protect those who are weaker than you are."

The smile on Edward's face grew, he looked serene. "That sounds about right."

"Social work? Really?" I asked in disbelief. "But that takes such a brave, outspoken person. That's not me at all…"

"I think it is." Edward said softly, smile still on his face.

Alice took both of my hands in hers and held them tightly, she looked into my eyes and said "Bella, that job takes a good person who believes in what's right. That's always been you. You'll be someone's protector."

I started to get uncomfortable with all this fussing over something that may or may not be right, but I have to say, not many people bet against Alice, being that she was psychic and all.

"Alright hot shot," Edward said, teasing Alice, he walked back over to the bench and sat beside his sister. She turned to face him, "what am I going to major in this time?"

Alice looked up at him, like she would for any other reason and looked like she was about to come up with some kind of smart ass comment. She opened her mouth smiling and was about to speak, when suddenly, she paused and looked concerned.

"What's the matter?" he asked jokingly, "what am I going for this year? Interior decorating or something?" Alice remained quiet, a look of alarm passed over Edward's face. He could hear her thoughts and premonitions now, I knew that. "Alice? How is that possible?"

"What's the matter?" I asked, frightened.

Edward couldn't speak, his perfect face twisted into an expression of confusion and curiosity. Alice's expression changed from anxious to fearful. She was silent for a few moments more, Edward got up from the bench and walked over to the window, he made a loose fist and pressed it against his forehead. He looked like he was having a migraine headache…

"Alice, what's the matter?" I asked again, my voice becoming unsteady and shrill.

Alice's voice trembled into a tiny whisper, "Edward. Edward is going to become…human again."

I really didn't know what that meant; in any sense of the words really. I didn't know what that meant for him, for his family, for our college plans, for my 'after college' plans, or most importantly, what it meant for us. There was always a possibility that the vision could be incorrect, but like I said before, I wouldn't bet against Alice.