Story: Life Just Started.

Pairing: Emily/Effy [Or the other way around ^^]

Fact: Nothing, but the storyline [Which it rarely has] is mine. The characters and other stuff all belongs to, well, someone who isn't me.

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I am lying here. On my back, with my face turned towards the big blue sky. The sun in shining brightly, which causes my to lightly squint my eyes. Even when I close them, I am not greeted with the usual darkness, but a red glow remains visible instead.

Music is blasting really loudly from my headphone and is,as a matter of fact, the only sound I can hear. I'm blasting and therefor blocking out any thoughts left in that little head of mine.

Trees are standing on both sides of the river. There is this one tree in particular that always succeeded catching my attention. It's a big tree with hanging leaves. Green - filled with life - sort of leaves. They are rather beautiful. The kind of tree you'd take several minutes looking at. Just admiring the way the leaves and branches move in the wind. The way everything seems to small when you're standing underneath the tree. That tree is my safe place. The place i come to, to just be me. And not the one everyone always expects me to be. The way they think i am just by looking at me. When i sit under the tree i always feel small. Like i am just this tiny creature on this big earth and not that more important than any other living being. I am that little thing you won't notice. The branches and leaves are positioned in a way it seems like they hover over me. Hovering like a umbrella and protecting me from any sort of rain [and pain.]

I am beginning to feel nauseous, but I doubt it is the waves crashing underneath me causing that particular feeling.

The big raft on the middle of the river is dancing on the water. That's how i think it feels. It's dancing with such grace. Grace you wouldn't find within any human. Humans are creatures who are actually not that special. That's what makes them so imperfect. Because we tend to believe we are better than we actually are.

And I hate it.

The way everyone thinks they are better. The way they all seem to think their way is automatically the right one.

When was the last time anyone has asked me what the right way was?

I'm sure the last time was with my brother.

My hand reaches for my iPod and i turn up the volume even louder. These are thoughts i don't want to have in my head. I've spend too long thinking about him. Too many nights i've spend lying awake. Whether i was lying next to him, near him or in my own bed. My thoughts were always with him.

He was the one to make me wanna speak again, [although he was the one making me silent as well.]

This life goes by so fast. Many things happen and most people don't even realise they are living their life away. They just talk. The constant flow of words. Never, not even one minute it is absolutely quiet.

I still remember this one time we were sitting at the dinner table. My mother and father were in a heated argument and me and my brother shared this look. 'Why can't you all just shut up'. I can still hear his voice in my head. Clearly, through all the noise. I know i looked at him, smiled, decided to stop talking from that day on and i brought my fork to mouth to take a bite as both my mother and father stopped shouting and just look at Tony in astonishment. He could make everything better. Unfortunately he couldn't cure himself, though.

He was the one telling me all the stories about love. About the way he experienced it in so many forms.

I never really believed him. If you could hear his stories, he always had great ones, you'd think he was lying. He would tell amazing stories about him and his girl. He never really had the nerve to tell her what he told me, though. The stories, The ones that made me believe real love, love that doesn't hurt, exists somewhere.

I was a fool.

Now i know that kind of love doesn't exist. It only exists in the heads of the ones with the imagination. It only exist to those who can't or who won't face the truth. The truth that real love doesn't conquer all and that it's mostly just a road full of pain and misery.

Tony Stonem was a believer. An optimist as you might say. He believed in it. He fell for the idea. He fell for michelle. I, on the other hand, am not. I've never been that kind of girl that was always cheery, happy and beaming.

There were only a few people in my life who could make me smile. Tony was definitly one of them as is Panda. We're an odd couple, but we'll make it. We'll always make it 'till the end.

And then there's her.

She just has to walk into a freakin' room and i have a smile on my face from ear to ear. One word from her and my whole day would be sparkling.

I know. Nothing like Effy Stonem to all get love stoned, but too bad i soon got love sick.

When you notice the one you like, i'd go for the word love if i would have believed love existed, likes someone else you don't get to cheery. When you see them kissing someone you are not, you don't smile that easily. When you see them laughing at jokes not made by you, it just makes me in an angry mood.

So here I am. Sitting on my own little raft being angry. Being angry at the world for not getting me. Being angry at her for not wanting me. Being angry at my brother for not being here. Being angry at the tree for not protecting me from this heartache i am feeling right now.

There was a time i thought that nothing could bring me down.

Well. I think that time has ended, 'cause since then three people have tried breaking my heart. And with succes i might add.

Damn you Dad for leaving us. And Damn you Tony Stonem for leaving me.

Damn you Freddie Mclair for wanting me.

Damn you Emily Fitch for not wanting me.

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Fact: Don't be shy and tell me if you hated, loved, liked or disliked my story/drabble.