A/N: My first attempt at writing Buffy fan-fiction, hope you all enjoy the crackiness of it. This chapter is also somewhat uneven, but I will make sure that future chapters will be more paced out.
"Giles, I am so glad you came here when you did, something's horribly wrong with Buffy,"
Willow Rosenberg sat down as Rupert Giles walked into the room of Buffy Summers, Sunnydale's current vampire slayer and leader in the fight against evil vampires and demons.
"What seems to be the matter, Willow?" Giles asked.
"Buffy is doing it again, only this time, its worse: she started cutting herself, claiming that she needs to, like…hear Angel's voice,"
"Hear Angel's voice?"
"Yeah, she's basically going to do something really stupid if we can't get through to her, she's been in her closet all day, blasting Muse," Giles sighed and walked to Buffy's closet, knocking on it lightly.
"Buffy? Are you alright?" Suddenly, Buffy burst out from the door and burst into tears. Her usually blonde hair had been dyed brown, her skin was a chilling pale and her wrists had enormous cuts on them.
"GO AWAY, PREP!!" Buffy shrieked, trying to push Giles away.
"Buffy, you can't hurt yourself," Giles stumbled as Buffy shoved him down next to Willow.
"No one cares about me! Angel was my everything, but he ditched me and I must die to hear my Adonis speak to me!" Buffy cried, cutting into her wrists once again with a stake.
"Geeze, whine louder, would you?" Buffy's sister Dawn walked behind the slayer, holding her backpack in her right hand.
"Dawn, could we be alone with Buffy in here?" Willow asked as Buffy wept and fell onto her bed.
"Fine…I'll come back later," Dawn muttered, walking away to her room.
"Willow, do you know if anyone else is in a state similar to Buffy's?" Giles asked the witch.
"Oh, Anya, how every word of yours makes me…chagrin," Xander cooed as he lay briskly in front of his demonic girlfriend.
"Xander, you don't want to be with me, I'm a killer!" Anya attempted to warn.
"I cannot live with my everything, the one that makes me chagrin so," Xander insisted.
"This…is the flesh of a spree killing vengeance demon," Anya snarled through her lips. She tore off her shirt and jeans and her skin turned into solid rubies, making her look like a solid red sculpture.
"I love you, my Anya!" Xander shouted, standing up and embracing her.
"And then the bunny fell in love with the cheetah…that will pin it down, strangle it, skin it, absorb it's meaty juices and then eat it's innards," Anya smiled ever so lightly.
"…I love you, too," Xander said.
"I am so, oh, bored," Dawn complained as she finished her latest math assignment.
"Willow says that she's sorry," Dawn turned to see Tara, Willow's girlfriend, in front of the door to her room.
"Oh, hey Tara, I know she only wanted me out to deal with Buffy," Dawn said.
"Has Buffy been exposed to anything that could have triggered this change in her?"
"Miss Emo hasn't really done anything except for read," Tara stepped forward and leaned towards Dawn.
"What kind of books?"
"Just those Twilight books, Buffy wanted to read more about the average person's views of vamps, so she started with those," Dawn answered. Tara's mouth widened and the two exchanged glances. The two women stood up and ran out of the room.