This first chapter goes to my dearest new kitten Harvey Milk, who just loves to fall asleep purring on my chest as I write, making me randomly crack up with laughter from his face, which sometimes smells suspiciously of corn chips.

The title is, in fact, correct. it's like 'effect' and 'affection', for those who didn't get that. ^-^

I don't own Naruto.

Hey guys, I'm back. I was reading over my old story and, really, thank you to all who reviewed and liked it, but to be honest, I hate the plot. Actually, towards the end, I half expected Danzou to remove his hood, smack his fists together and cluck in a whiney, villainous voice "Ah, foiled again!"

Hopefully I've gotten a little better, and this one won't be quite as… shitty as a whole.

If you haven't noticed or you're new to my stories, this story has a prequil. It's long, so if you find this confusing and don't want to read it, ask and i'll write a summary next chapter.

Read on if you dare.

1Of All He Could Possibly Take

No...No. This wasn't happening.

Naruto stood by as Sasuke sat unmoving next to his own sleeping form. They were back by the old scarred tree and, no matter how many times this same damnable scene replayed in his head, it was always the same.

The blonde tried it all, shouting, fighting, screaming his heart out, in the end he always just broke down in frustration as Sasuke brushed pale lips against his own sleeping face, looking so sad before disappearing forever.

It was so unfair.

It was so unfair for that damn fucking bastard to look so heartbroken, so in love at those last few moments, when Naruto already knew the truth.

If Sasuke had really loved him, he wouldn't have left. He wouldn't have wrenched Naruto's already severely wounded, bleeding heart out and ripped it to shreds. That would be past inhuman, so far beyond all remote possibility of love, of having a God damned, fucking brain that it was absolutely impossible. It was. He didn't know how many times he'd had this nightmare, he'd lost count long ago. But even if he woke up sweating with salty tears in his eyes, he knew it had to lose its effect eventually.

It just had to. This was no way to live, with these dreams plaguing him everynight. They were inescapeable.

How could Sasuke have possibly loved him, leaving again like he did, especially after they had for the very first time, and only time, had...sex? After finally realizing and confessing their love? Well, Naruto's love. Sasuke's... he didn't even know what to call it. Indifference? Blind lust? Determination to wrench Naruto's heart into the smallest, most destroyed peices imaginable?

Despite the fact that this was only a dream, that the real experience had happened months ago, the phantom heart in his subconcious form, aching deep inside his soul tore again and again and again and again as salt pricked the backs of his eyes and the ghostly consciousness fell to his knees, right before his own sleeping, oblivious face.

No matter how many times he relived it, he would never get used to this crushing pain. He would never...the salt had spilled over now; he would never...stop... he could never forget...no matter how many times this heart was broken, beaten and nearly stopped forever by those hands, those eyes, those words, no matter how many times he left, Naruto already knew he would never stop, never forget. He... he still, he would always still...love Sasuke.

X.X.X.X

The blonde squeezed his eyes closed as the clear mask was strapped to his face. He still couldn't believe he'd actually agreed to this. Tsunade had wanted to do an 'exploratory surgery', basically just poking around his insides because of the 'abnormality' found after Sas- that guy had fused Kyuubi and him. She had said that if she found something, she would remove it without hesitation. But… that warmth, that 'abnormality' in his stomach had been his only comfort after…after Sasuke left. It was apparently a mass of Kyuubi's chakra, a mistake made probably during the sealing. Had it been done on purpose, tha bastard not having the balls enough to kill him on the spot to instead mess up the fusing so he wouldn't have to get his hands dirty? No, even if Sasuke had done this, along with so many horrible things, Naruto knew he wasn't bad. He just knew it.

But still...

So did he really want it out?

No, agh, this is stupid. Whatever was in his stomach could be a threat to his life. It needed to be removed. One gauze covered hand inched to rest calloused fingers on his stomach, feeling, perhaps for the last time, the heat react and dance towards his fingertips, a flame of comforting memories in the sharp world.

"Breathe in, Naruto" green eyes stared fondly down at him, the rest of the face covered by a cold surgical mask. "It'll all be over when you wake up."

Somehow, those words that were so obviously meant to be comforting had just made him feel worse. Much, much worse. Even so, large blue eyes closed as the small boy took a deep breath of the sweet gas. It filled his nostrils slowly, like the most intoxicating flower that blossomed sugar on his tongue, fluttering his lids and blackening the world in a blissful, temporary peace.

And there was nothing... nothing... nothing.... beep... beep....... augh....

A dulled sting jerked in his stomach as thick blonde lashes cracked to let in a hectic world of whirring machines. The whitewashed walls were dark, splattered with a sickening garnet sheen. What...? He heard mindless shouts in the background, just sounds of panic and desperation, a heartbreaking shock all transmuted through syllable-less noises; the sounds of a frantic struggle.

The world was still spinning, colors blurring together, bleeding into each other to form one motion-sick, dizzy image of darkness and blood and ...Worried amber eyes blocked his view, a sting in his arm. The pale face in front of him was stained, red dripping down one side, his blood? No, it spewed from a gash on her forehead...Tsunade.

What was- the world spun into a circle, colors dimming, flowing together as tunnel vision took over, the world flushed down a drain of empty space. Bliss again in darkness.

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Cerulean eyes cracked open to reveal a somber world; afternoon light dripped golden through shuttered hospital windows as Naruto turned to face his visitor. Sakura had busied herself with checking the many monitors, the clear plastic tubes connected to his veins.

"What happened?"

His voice was rough, unused for what seemed like forever. He'd slept without nightmares for the first time in over three months, what could that be about?

The girl didn't answer, only turning to check his IV drip, that's when he saw her arm. It was bandaged around the wrist, wrapping tightly around her slim pale fingers that trembled. Naruto's half-lidded eyes shot open at once, gazing in horror at Sakura's face, deeply purpled with fatigue around dulled green eyes that glistened with something indescribable. What the hell could have happened? What went on during his surgery?

The blonde shifted, wincing as a sharp pain flashed through his abdomen. Immediately Naruto rushed to touch his fingers to the flat expanse of his stomach. The heat was still there, through the sting of a healing cut.

"Sakura what's wrong, what happened?"

The girl said nothing, turning to face him "The surgery was a failure."

Naruto took the girl's trembling hand, pressing it between his own, looking up at her glittering eyes. Suddenly they were spilling over and there was a heavy head of pink hair, shaking little shoulders resting wet sobs against Naruto's blanketed leg, the boy felt the warm trickle of the girl's flooding tears almost instantly. The surprised blonde petted the girl's soft hair comfortingly as the tears continued to shake her small form. There was something he was missing; there was something that happened while he was unconscious!

"Shh, shh, Sakura, tell me what happened."

The girl didn't lift her head; she just shook it, face still hidden in the folds of the blanket.

"Please tell me?" screaming and freaking out would get him nowhere, but he was still itching to raise his voice.

"….t-the hospital was attacked." Naruto froze, what kind of a bastard would attack a hospital?!

"How many, what happened, is everyone okay? Sakura, who did this?" Naruto gripped the pink-haired girl's shoulders gently, urgently. She shook her head again, more quiet sobs shaking her.

"…one."

"One person died? One person attacked? Who was it? Where is he?"

Blue eyes were filling with rage, after everything that had already happened to the village, some bastard was just going to waltz in and attack a hospital? What kind of a pathetic low-life would injure sick people?! The girl sniffled, wiping her reddened eyes apologetically before looking down, fiddling with the loose strings of the blanket.

"Who was it?" Green eyes bore into blue, unrelenting.

"…Sasuke."

The girl leaned forward, eyes anxious, to wipe something warm and wet from Naruto's cheek. He didn't notice.

"Naruto? Naruto…? What's-"

The voice that barely escaped his lips was robotic, devoid of reaction.

"Where is he?"

The girl was visibly taken aback with surprise at the total lack of intensity, the frozen void of emotion from the usually vibrant blonde. Naruto didn't twitch. He swore he would break to pieces. It couldn't be true.

What else could Sasuke possibly take from him?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto squared his shoulders. Tsunade said that the Uchiha had just about begged her, and that otherwise she wouldn't even have given this a second thought. In all honesty, the blonde didn't want to see him.

Well, a very small, logical, not masochistic part of himself was screaming at the other stupid majority about how idiotic this was, how much he hated the bastard, how he never, ever wanted to even hear his name again. But, as most people already realize, majority rules no matter how retarded their decisions were and God, he wanted to see him so bad it felt like he would die otherwise.

Stupid, stupid, stupid idiotic, masochistic- Naruto took a deep breath and pushed the door open, his heart beating so frantically the boy could swear it would explode at any given moment.

And there sat the devil himself, all pale snow skin and expressive black eyes.

Naruto bit back a pained groan that bubbled in his throat, the sight before him threatening to send the blonde straight over the edge. Just being in the same room and Naruto could feel himself falling again, falling into the trance of inky eyes, of silk black hair and fiery hot, pulling gaze. He was sinking already, and the knowledge hurt more than anything else possibly could.

The blonde stopped moving a few feet away from the other boy, shining blue eyes wary, face a hardened mask.

"What did you want?" he tried to keep his voice cold and complacent.

Thankfully, Sasuke didn't turn to face him. He probably wouldn't have been able to take a full-on stare from those dead looking eyes. As it was, the familiar satin voice felt like a physical blow to his already severely aching chest.

"What were they doing to you?" Naruto felt himself scoff coldly. As if Sasuke actually cared. He should just drop the act already.

"It's none of your business is what they were doing."

Precious moments passed, each secretly gathered up by Naruto's selfish memory and locked away to be used to fuel his heart's blood later, like the most effective firewood.

"Are you okay?"

it was a whisper; a little, barely audible, unbelievably infuriating whisper that tore at Naruto's meager self control.

"Am I okay? What the hell do you care if I'm okay or not? Drop the shit you disgusting little fucker, we both know you don't give a damn either way so don't act like you do."

Fire had swelled painfully in Naruto's hard chest, burning him with throbbing stings and rage from the inside out, making something hard crawl its way forcefully up his throat. But his stomach reacted differently, swirling and pushing towards Sasuke, like it wanted to get out and get closer to the boy. Was that how Naruto was really feeling?

He couldn't deny the aching need to get closer to Sasuke, to feel his heat so close and alive, to know that he really was there and not just some sick emotion or dream.

If it was a nightmare, it would be the worst one by far.

Something squeezed sharply, alluringly as those deep black eyes faced his, shining with damnable sadness and what seemed like desperation.

"That's not true." The words were said slowly, a fiery torture that sank like lava through Naruto's heart, making him angrier.

"The fuck it's not!" In a blind rage the blonde had leant forward, stooping to look the bastard Uchiha in the burning, frantic eyes. "If you ever gave the slightest damn about me you wouldn't have left me alone again. You shouldn't have come back if you're just going to leave again." The venom that had been festering in his body was spewing from his lips; it felt good to finally let it out.

"You're just a sadistic bastard who doesn't give a fuck about the world around you, much less me." Blue eyes gleamed with rage, a foot from watery black ones; he would give this asshole a piece of his mind, damn it.

"I hate your fucking, rotting guts."

Sasuke didn't flinch, staring ardently into Naruto's eyes. He wanted a rebuttal, a violent fury to satisfy, to justify this 'hate'. He wanted another reason to hate him, another of many. But those other excuses hadn't worked; the majority still didn't hate him. That's what made it burn even more when Sasuke only got closer, still staring deep into his eyes, thin black brows furrowed in what seemed like anguish, chapped pink lips barely moving.

"I know."

"Shut up! Your horrible, you bastard! What kind of a person could do half the shit you've done to me, to everyone! How can you live with yourself?! How can I still… possibly… Damnnit! I hate you!"

"I know."

Naruto covered his ears, the frustration getting to him more than anything. He didn't know; he didn't know shit, damnnit! If he knew, he wouldn't have done that to him. If he knew…

"Shut up!" the boy was practically screaming now, angry tears pounding the back of his eyes, how could he still feel this way, even after everything… Oh, God, it was no use. He just couldn't anymore; he was too tired.

The blonde sank to his knees, hands gripping yellow locks, covering abused ears; hot tears ran down his cheeks. Shameful.

It was so shameful to be crying, showing this insurmountable weakness to the very bastard who did this to him.

A large white hand shocked him into opening blue eyes, staring into the consuming black depths that were so close. The hand pried gently at his own tan one, removing it from its position clutching his hair to caress a pale face, held with shaking fingers. Naruto wanted so badly to rip it free, to use it to punch the stupid asshole down to hell where he belonged. Instead it was all the blonde could do to keep perfectly still when Sasuke leant even closer, mere inches away.

"I'm so sorry." The whisper blew hot against Naruto's trembling lips. Damn it all.

"Fuck you." The boy whispered back.

He swore he could hear the sad smile that tugged at Sasuke's lush lips as the tall boy tentatively, almost shyly wrapped strong arms around the blonde. The final crushing blow.

Naruto knew he'd forgiven Sasuke the moment he had entered the cell. But that didn't mean he wasn't still pissed. That didn't mean he wanted anything to do with the Uchiha anymore. He was just so tired, so lonely he couldn't push the warm body away.

It was a battle between the sides again, whether to push the bastard away and continue to beat the living shit out of him, or to do what, once again, the majority ached to do; wrap his arms around the raven and put off the shit-beating for later.

So the blonde stayed frozen, letting himself be hugged, then letting those surprisingly soft pink lips to brush his scarred cheek, knowing the heat would engulf him anyway so why not just give up already. But when Sasuke slowly, almost affrightedly reached his mouth, Naruto pulled back, red lips quivering to be kissed. But he would not let that happen, no matter what. That was too much, even in his utterly exhausted state.

He couldn't bear that; the pain that followed would be too much. He was afraid it would kill him next time. As it was, the blonde's heart broke a little at Sasuke's utterly dejected expression.

"Not on the lips, Sasuke. Do whatever the hell you want otherwise, but no kisses."

Black eyes stared questioningly. Naruto shook his head slightly, the pain that throbbed in his chest not dulled by the overwhelming fatigue. His husky voice dropped to a whisper.

"It's too personal. I can deal with everything else, but if you kiss me I know that it'll hurt so much more when you leave again, and I can't take anymore, damn it."

Naruto glanced down, not able to look the Uchiha in the face for fear of dropping back into the spell. A cool, gentle hand cupped his cheek, forcing blue eyes to meet with flashing black ones. Sasuke was almost…angry? A blonde brow furrowed further, like hell that asshole had any right to be angry-

"Naruto, I'm not leaving you again."

"Bullshit…"

His anger making him braver than ever, more in control of his thundering heart than ever, the blonde shot up to trap Sasuke against the wall behind them, leaning in close between the tall raven's spread legs; deep indigo eyes glinted his fury.

"…This-" the boy placed one large tan hand on the other's exposed chest, making the tall boy shiver instinctively, Naruto leaning an inch from the other's face.

"-was what you wanted, wasn't it? Just a quick fuck and to be on your merry way, right?"

"Just one more time, real fast so you can run off for a while, and then come back to your little bitch whenever you have the fucking urge!"

Naruto brought a boney knee within an inch of Sasuke's groin, stopping fast to instead press it gently, kneading little circles into it. Sasuke's face broke out with pale beads of sweat, as the blonde felt him get hard, biting his lower lip until Naruto saw it bleed, but those endless ink pools kept right on staring into blue, unrelenting.

After a minute long staring-contest, at last and thoroughly disgusted, Naruto gathered his energy and pushed himself off the other boy, quickly striding to the entrance, leaving a panting Uchiha in his wake.

What the fuck was that stare about? The blonde shuddered.

(AN)

Damn that was...dark. lol a new side to the sunny blonde. Anyways, this story I'm going to try to cut back on the annoyingly long author's notes. Tell me if there's anything else buggin ya.

Love.

Bright Eyed.