A/N: So this has been a labor of love and it is finally finished. Thank you to everyone that has left me such kind reviews, I wish I could respond to everyone individually. There may be some mistakes because I can't stand to look at the thing anymore :P

I hope you enjoy the ending.

Chapter Twelve:

The morning was gray and because the snow had continued to fall through the night, the view from the bedroom window was desolate and colorless like an old black and white photograph. Bella looked out at the stark scene through blank eyes, her mind occupied with Alice's words the evening before.

What remained of the night had been spent packing and she had had little conversation with Edward. She had expected him to continue with his strange excitement and optimism, but even he seemed subdued and troubled by something. She wondered if Alice had spoken to him as well or if he had merely heard their conversation and therefore had as much to think about as she did.

She turned away from the window and surveyed her suitcases in their neat stack at the end of the bed. The petty problems that packing usually brought were lost to her and she couldn't manage to be concerned about whether or not she had packed everything she needed.

The absolute silence in the house was strange compared to the usual boisterous laughing and chatter of her family and it only served to remind her of all of the mistakes she had made in recent days and how those choices had led to this lonely place.

A thought chewed at the very edge of her mind that she was making yet another mistake now, but she ignored it and stood from her seat by the window to carry her bags down the stairs.

Edward stood in the living room, his fingers gently caressing the edge of his piano, his expression blank. When Bella came down the stairs he registered her presence, but didn't look at her. "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Let me put your stuff in the car," he said, abandoning his piano and quickly taking her bags from her.

After he walked out the door, Bella looked up towards the stairs, expecting Emmett or Rosalie to come down at any moment to say goodbye. When nobody appeared, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to remember the fact that their distance was derived from her betrayal and destruction of the once solid family unit. Even with this knowledge, she could feel the weight of an ever widening emptiness press upon her.

She would have at least expected Emmett, who had let her go to Jasper against Edward's wishes, but perhaps even he was beginning to hate her for what she had done.

Just as she had lost hope that anyone would appear before they left, Alice came in from the back of the house.

"You were supposed to be gone by now," Alice said, furrowing her eyebrows momentarily and then relaxing her expression. She considered letting her leave without mentioning Jasper again, but she couldn't help but add, "Jasper is on his way here to get some of his things."

The tightness in Bella's chest expanded at the thought of his nearness, but before she was able to respond Edward was at her side. "Then we're leaving," he said, grabbing Bella's arm at the elbow.

Alice sighed, but knew she couldn't push her point upon them any further. "Be safe."

Bella tried to manage a smile at Alice, but she didn't think it came across as particularly joyous. In the end she couldn't even hug her friend, she just wanted to be out before the terrible pressure she felt around her forced her to break.

Edward nodded in Alice's direction and turned towards the door, never releasing Bella from his grip. Even he felt the need to leave the house as quickly as possible. Not only because he knew Jasper was going to be there soon, but because he could feel his resolve to leave and hold onto Bella propelling him forward and the sooner they were away from the scene of the crime perhaps the sooner she could get over Jasper and return to him.

Once they were outside the car, Bella looked up at the house that she had called her home for many years and she could feel the ache of sorrow in her chest. She wasn't sure if it felt like the end of something or the beginning of something else, or if it was neither of those things. In a way she felt as if she were in the middle of two places, a purgatory that required a decision to get through. She had assumed that she had made that decision when she chose to stay with Edward, but something still felt undone and she didn't know if she would ever stop feeling as though she were trapped.

Trapped, the word stuck in her mind and on her tongue like a thick film.

She glanced at Edward as he got into the car and closed the door loudly behind him. She regarded the tightly set line of his jaw and his stiff, unmoving shoulders and she could see none of the boy she remembered meeting all of those years before, the memory, however hazy, still clinging to the corners of her mind like wispy tendrils of blue smoke.

Alice's words before they left came back to her, Be safe, words that Edward had written to her so many years before, words that she had held onto like a talisman. They meant something different to her then. Now, when she repeated the words to herself she kept thinking, But I am being safe, I'm making the safe choice. She tried to stop herself from thinking it, but the thought popped into her head nonetheless, And that's why it's the wrong one.

She tried to remember what had transpired to lead her to this point in her life when making what was supposed to be the safe, right choice felt like making a mistake.

In some ways it had been so easy to fall in love with Edward. With him she had known the ending. They were the fairy tale star crossed lovers, human and vampire who loved each other despite everything, destined to be with one another for eternity. Their relationship was the one that stories were written about, the same stories she had read with voracity as a teenager.

But Jasper was the frightening unknown. With him it was all electricity and life; every moment in his presence a fire that burned all the way to her fingertips. She hadn't known what that kind of passion was at seventeen and thirty years later it had taken her by such surprise that she hadn't even been able to give a name to it.

He had come to her when she was at a low point, when she had killed a man, and even then he had understood her more than anyone. Edward had expected her to be perfect and never slip and Jasper had never expected perfection from her and yet he had found it in her, even in her moment of greatest weakness.

"Put your seat belt on," Edward barked, breaking her from her torrential thoughts.

"What?" she asked, as if in a daze.

"Put your damn seat belt on, Bella," he replied impatiently, barely glancing in her direction.

She complied instantly, though there was no necessity for seat belts, not wanting to do anything to upset him for any reason. She could see herself doing just that for the entirety of their lives, complying, relenting, and shrinking under his demands and the incredible tightness and pressure she felt inside of her reached an unbearable level, the word trapped floating through her mind once more.

At that moment she could see her life with Edward spread out before her, a vast expanse of silence, guilt and resentment; relinquishing control of her life because she felt guilty for what she had done.

She suddenly felt incredulous at the thought. How could she let her guilt and her fear of the unknown shackle her to a life that would be completely devoid of the happiness and freedom she felt with Jasper? Alice said be safe, Edward said be safe, but maybe she didn't want to be safe.

As the realization hit her, she felt as if the wind was knocked out of her and her whole body buzzed with vibrating anticipation. She could feel something unravel within her, a letting go of all of the tension and pressure, and the unbearable tightness in her chest. The idea of letting go was a dizzying and suddenly possible prospect and as much as it frightened her she knew that though she could live with Edward forever, it wasn't fair to herself and it wasn't fair to him either.

"Edward, stop the car," she said, her voice coming out much stronger than she had expected. She felt the terrifying feeling of leaping off a high precipice, but it was also strangely exhilarating.

"What's wrong?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows and turning to look at her.

"I can't do this, stop the car."

He pulled over, but didn't turn off the car or the headlights. They illuminated the road before them and the tiny flakes of snow that had begun to fall more steadily.

She resisted the urge to leap from the car the moment it stopped, knowing she had to say something to Edward but not knowing exactly how to voice the revelation that had seemed to come to her in an instant.

"I can't do this," she repeated, regurgitating what she had once heard from a breakup speech, but the words sounded hollow in the face of what had once been their relationship.

"Can't do what?"

She took a deep breath, "I can't go with you. I'm sorry."

He finally turned to look at her, his eyes dark and beseeching. "Bella, you have to. We belong together, we have always belonged together."

"Something has changed, Edward."

"No," he replied, shaking his head and fighting the sick feeling rising inside of him. "It can't change, we can't change."

"But it has," she said slowly, trying to suss out the feelings that were coming to her rapidly and explain them to him just as she was learning them herself. "I always thought that becoming a vampire meant never changing, but I was wrong. It means an endless possibility for change. It's like Jasper told me, we have eternity to figure out who we are and I may not know that yet, but I do know that I am not the same girl you met all those years ago. I've changed and so have you. We don't love each other the same way anymore and we can't keep faking it until we do."

"Bella…" Edward protested, his throat constricting against the tears. "I do love you. You don't even know what it's like to be with him. Having a relationship is different than making a mistake. We had a life together, we can have one again."

She tensed and closed her eyes, knowing she had to admit to him what she had already admitted to herself. She opened her eyes slowly, steeling herself for what she knew would be a terrible blow. "Edward...I love him."

The words hit him harder than anything he had felt before and as soon as he heard them, he could finally feel all of the anger and betrayal he had pushed away come to the surface. Before he had forced himself to focus on Jasper and excuse her, but now he knew that there was no way he would be able to fight the resentment he felt towards her forever, no matter if she stayed with him and worked it out or not.

"I am so angry with you Bella," he said aloud, more for his own benefit than for her.

"I know."

"No, you don't know," he was suddenly yelling now, surprised at the loudness of his own voice. The image he had caught from Jasper's mind of Bella laying on the beach with Jasper between her legs flickered in his brain and strengthened his already mounting anger. "You don't know Bella. This isn't fair, none of it. I tried to make things work, I tried so hard and you...you just gave yourself to him. I gave you this life, I gave you my love, and now its just over?"

"I'm sorry."

He furrowed his eyebrows and let out a shaky breath. "No, you're not sorry."

"I'm sorry for hurting you, yes."

"But you're not sorry for what you did," he replied, and though it pained him to say it, he continued. "You love him, you want to be with him and you don't want to be with me anymore."

All of the boldness that Bella had convinced herself was false; the cliff diving, the moments with Jasper in the forest, everything she had admitted to Edward was a phase, flowed through her now and she could finally say exactly how she felt. "No, I don't."

They were both silent for a long moment, a frenzy of fear and emotion between them.

Finally Edward spoke, his voice thick with sadness. "I don't want to let you go, Bella."

She bit her bottom lip and reached over to stroke the side of his face. He didn't stop her, even though the action caused a terrible pang in his chest. "You don't have to, I'm already gone. The only thing you have to do now is not stop me."

Everything inside of Edward told him to keep her with him, to do what he thought was right and salvage their relationship and their love, but what she had said penetrated into him and even though the thought of letting go his first love was painful and unimaginable, he knew that she was right and that what they once were had changed long before Jasper had come into the picture.

He remembered the seventeen year old girl he had married, the one that had so wholly consumed his every thought and when he looked at Bella across the small space of the car he saw her there still, forever young and frozen in time, but the eyes that were so young and innocent then, now held the gaze of an adult. She had changed and he had somehow overlooked it.

They had grown, but grown apart.

He mustered as much strength as he could to utter the word, and though he knew that she required no permission, she would wait to hear it. "Go."

It was a hoarse whisper, but it was out.

She swallowed hard and kept her eyes fastened to his face. She didn't know the next time she would see him and though she had already made the decision to leave it was difficult to give up all her years with him and the fairy tale that she had written for them in her mind. "I'll always love you Edward Cullen."

He closed his eyes and nodded, his throat choking up. When he opened them again, her hand was on the handle of the door.

With one final look, she opened it and stepped out, closing the door on her old life.

Without another thought, she began to run in the direction of home. She wasn't sure what she would say or do when she got there, but she knew Jasper was there getting his things and she needed to get to him before he left.

Her feet moved with greater speed than she had ever remembered before. The wind and snow whipped across her face and through her hair, but she was oblivious to it. Even though she was still keenly aware of the end of her marriage, she could only focus on the remarkable freedom and lightness she felt. While she ran, she shook off the last tie to who she thought she should be and surrendered herself to who she had become.

All of that coupled with the mounting excitement of finally being with Jasper without the guilt and sadness that had come along with it, served as a guiding force driving her feet onward, faster and faster.

As she turned the corner into the drive, her feet pounding the road in what she imagined would echo the sound of her heart if it had still been beating, she heard nothing from inside the house. She didn't focus on searching for Jasper's voice or the voice of Alice, instead focusing all of her attention on the doorway that even now stood wide open where the door had once been.

In an instant she was inside, coming to a stop and taking in the scene of the living room. Rosalie, Emmett and Alice all sat with one another, seemingly in the middle of a conversation.

When Emmett saw her, his mouth fell open in surprise and he tried to process what he was seeing. After a moment he realized the implications of Bella's presence and though his heart instantly ached for Edward, he knew that the happiness and excitement he saw on Bella's face was what was right.

Alice on the other hand was not at all surprised to see Bella, and she couldn't help the smile that broke out on her face.

"Where is he?" Bella asked, looking once more over the room as if she could have overlooked him before. Her eyes instantly darted to the stairs and the direction of his room, expecting him at any moment to come bounding down the stairs and into her arms, but he didn't.

"He left," Rosalie said somewhat carelessly, knowing that her anger at Bella for upsetting the family balance was a useless emotion, but still feeling as though she deserved the jab. In her heart of hearts she was proud of Bella for making her decision for herself, but she would never admit it.

Bella felt all of her excitement and happiness drain from her body, and she felt almost as though she had been physically deflated. "Left? To where?"

Alice quickly shot a look at Rosalie before standing up and going to Bella. "He did leave, but you can still go to him. Here," she said, taking the already written note from her pocket. "I knew you'd be back so I wrote this down for you. This is the address of the cabin. It's about five miles from here."

Bella could feel herself swell up once more after her momentary disappointment. "Thank you so much Alice."

She took the address from Alice's hand, scanning it quickly before thrusting it into her pocket. She looked intently at the smaller woman's face, wanting to turn and run to Jasper at that moment but not wanting to leave without saying anything. "I...I love you Alice. I don't know when I'll see you."

"I do," Alice said with a smile.

Bella grabbed her and hugged her tightly for a long moment, happy to know it wouldn't be the last she saw of her friend, despite everything that had happened and how she had hurt her. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Alice saw flashes of Bella's life with Jasper, and she swallowed the conflicting joy and pain she felt along with the images. "Look after each other."

"We will," she responded, squeezing Alice a little more tightly.

"I know you will."

"And Edward?" Bella questioned tentatively, thinking of him left completely alone in the car as she released Alice from her embrace.

"He'll be okay," Alice replied slowly. "With time."

Bella nodded, and finally looked away from Alice at Emmett and Rosalie. In an instant Emmett was at her side and his arms were around her in a bear hug. "Bye little sis."

"Bye Em," she said quietly.

After he released her, she went to Rosalie and without permission hugged her. "I'll miss you."

At first Rosalie frowned, but her face softened at Bella's words. "I'll miss you too," she admitted.

Bella let her go and moved towards the door. She could have stayed forever, saying goodbyes and lingering with the family she would miss more than she was able to express, but she could feel the pull of her future leading her out the door.

Without another word she was gone, running even faster than she had before. A distance of five miles once seemed trivial, but now felt like a wide gap dividing her from the man she loved.

The blur of the trees disappeared in the wake of her imagined reunion with Jasper. She could see herself running to him, throwing the door open and leaping into his arms and not releasing him for hours. Even then she knew that her imagination would pale in comparison to what would actually occur.

Anxious and excited, she flew through the last mile at her top speed, remembering her race with Jasper that had been preceded by a kiss. She hoped that this last race towards him would end with a kiss instead.

Finally, she broke the line of trees that surrounded the small cabin just as her excitement, anxiousness and love had reached its incredible crescendo.

From inside the cabin, Jasper could feel the sudden influx of raw emotions invade his senses and he knew immediately that Bella was nearby. Without a thought he was at the cabin door, flinging it open and taking in her windswept appearance. Somehow she had never looked more beautiful to him than at that moment.

He could feel his heart swell, every emotion inside of him that had once been weighted down with sadness, now replaced with relief and happiness. Instead of saying anything about her sudden arrival, or allowing her to speak, he rushed to her, enveloping her in his arms and pressing his face into her hair.

"You came back," he said finally, not wanting to release her from his embrace, but needing to look at her. He had never expected to see her again and yet here she was.

"I came back," she whispered, remembering his admission to her in the car about how he himself had come back all of those years before.

He studied her face, but kept his arms around her. Their faces were inches apart and Bella began to lean in to kiss him, but he pulled his face back. She looked at him, startled.

Even though Jasper could feel nothing but happiness and love emanating from her, not even an ounce of doubt or confusion, he remembered the pain he felt when she had left him the first time and he couldn't trust his ability to keep his heart safe. "You won't leave this time?"

Bella remembered his face in the forest, the goodbye kiss and hearing his whispered 'I love you' over the sound of the wind. "No, no I won't."

Jasper felt relieved, though her feelings should have been all the assurance he needed, it felt good to hear the words from her. This time, it was he who leaned in to kiss her, pressing his lips to hers with such urgency that Bella felt her insides flutter.

He resisted the urge to pick her up and carry her into the cabin.

Just as the kiss deepened and seemed to be leading to more, Bella stopped. "We have plenty of time for that, I want to tell you something first."

"Anything."

"I'm sorry for leaving like I did...I guess I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

Bella tried to remember her exact train of thought from her car ride with Edward, but it was difficult to think of anything with Jasper's proximity.

"I was scared of what would happen if we were together, what the future would hold. Thirty years ago I planned out my whole life with Edward and I never imagined that you and I would become what we did. You didn't fit into what I thought would be my future, but I have changed and those plans no longer contain what will make me happy. And I realized something when I was driving away, I could have stayed with Edward forever, clinging to that unhappy, impossible future...I could have lived without you..."

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, interrupting her. "Well if that's the case then..."

She silenced him, putting her finger up to his lips. "Let me finish. I could have lived without you Jasper, but I don't want to."

He kissed her again at her words, putting all of his emotion behind it. Bella felt her knees go weak beneath her and she wrapped her arms tightly around him in support.

After kissing him for a few minutes, she pulled away again. "I know I don't have to explain all of this to you now, but I can't wait another moment to say this to you. I may not know what is going to happen, but I know that I love you Jasper and I couldn't be away from you for another second."

I love you. He had heard her whisper those very words as she ran away from him in the forest, but hearing them now without the hopelessness and sadness that had been tied to them before, he felt elated.

"I love you too," he replied without hesitation, kissing her once more, feeling her lips on his and her love mingling with his own like a warm beacon in his chest.

"We don't have to figure it all out now, we can just live and..."

"Bella..."

He kissed her.

"...be with one another, and..."

He laughed. "Bella."

She stopped, looking into his amused eyes. "Yes?"

He put his hands on the side of her face, brushing away her hair. "Let's just go inside."

She smiled, taking his hand in hers and walking with him into the cabin, closing the door behind her.

The End