When Hidan first saw Kakuzu, he thought, "Freak." When he first talked to him, he thought, "Asshole." When he first found out the stitched up man was his roommate, he thought, "Fuck." When he first had a mission from the Akatsuki with him, he thought, "Murder." But he never thought that he'd be thinking, "Hot damn, I love that man."

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Of course, when Hidan initially joined the Akatsuki, he thought it would be all about the badass stuff. Murder, extortion, kidnapping. He wanted to please Jashin, and committing crimes was the best thing the albino fanatic could do to make his god happy. So he joined Akatsuki. He thought it was going to be free-for-all. Sure, there were other members to deal with, all of which got on Hidan's very dangerous nerves. He had a short fuse, and it was not a very good thing to light it. His language was coarse and his attitude malevolent, not to mention he held grudges. If you made a bad impression on Hidan, it was over for you. If he got you alone in a room, he'd brutally kill you and offer you as a sacrifice to Jashin. Needless to say, Kakuzu pissed him off the minute he saw the jerkoff.

Hidan had been in Pein's office for what seemed like hours, listening to things like rules and regulations and even a release form. Hidan thought it was retarded, how Pein was making use of the law when he lived for the complete opposite. He almost called his new redheaded boss a filthy hypocrite, but refrained, knowing he'd pay for it. He was already pissed off because Hidan had made rude comments about the "don't kill other Akatsuki members" rule. He didn't understand why the guy got so mad, really. Hidan just mumbled something about "bastards could use a little pain, whip them into shape." No big deal, seriously. The guy shouldn't be so damned touchy.

Hidan, sufficiently grumpy from all the stupid rules, was muttering threats under his breath as he walked down a dimly lit corridor, looking at his hands and the ring he had been given as an initiation of his membership to Akatsuki. Shadows danced across the walls, even though Hidan was the only one in the hallway that he could see. It made him feel at home, the eerie atmosphere. He had always been one for the occult and other abnormal things that the everyday person feared without reason. He hated how people didn't know a damn thing about the occult and they still treated it as if it was all evil rituals and Satanic sacrifices like mutilating dogs and hanging them over burning tires. Even Jashin wasn't that hardcore. Their narrow little minds convinced them that unless it was some stupid mainstream religion, you shouldn't worship any god.

As he was thinking about this in his mind, Hidan looked up and came eye to eye with vivid emerald lights. He jumped a bit, but then realized that the "lights" were eyes. The face that held them was hidden from nose to collarbone by a cloth mask. His skin was dark, a mocha hue, and Hidan saw stitches all over the man's face. Hidan stepped back soundlessly, inspecting the man further. Stitches littered his whole body, on his wrists, elbows, and on his shoulders, as well as his ankles, knees, and most likely his upper thighs as well. All this gazing had taken Hidan around four or so seconds. He thought to himself, "Psuedo. Schizo. Creeper. Hooker for doctors?" For once in his life, he went against one of his moral rules and thought of someone with disdain for being a freak. He was a freak himself, after all, and Hidan wasn't really a hypocrite, only now and then making comments that he didn't really mean that would define him as a hypocrite.

The jade eyes narrowed. "Who are you," he said in a smooth, low tone, "and what are you doing here?" He seemed quite irritated at the sight of Hidan. Hidan wondered why the guy was so riled up. The albino wasn't that frustrating just to look at. He was tall, which intimidated some, and muscular, but also lanky and good-looking.

Hidan smirked cockily and held up the black and red cloak Pein had given him. "My name's Hidan, and…"

"I don't care, you know. Just tell me what you're doing here. Nobody cares who you are. Only why you're in our base, and that you don't belong here." The bright green orbs rolled in annoyance.

He just stood there for a moment, looking at the man's face. He realized that the guy really didn't care in the slightest what his name was. The pale man scowled and growled, "You know, if you fucking have a problem with me, you can go fuck off and screw yourself into a goddamn wall, retard." He pushed past the freaky stitch man and mumbled something about not asking a question if you didn't give a shit about the answer. He hadn't even given his own name, that rude bastard. Of course, Hidan wasn't one to call others rude, but nonetheless, that guy just pissed him off. As soon as the bastard was out of sight, Hidan muttered, "Asshole."

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Hidan never expected that there would be a roommate system involved. Of course, he noticed that the other Akatsuki went on missions as a double, or a quadruple, and certain members always hung around together, but he didn't think about a roommate. Hidan wasn't the best at social contact. He always scared people away or his rituals freaked people out. Sometimes he even sacrificed people to Jashin. Of course, after a bit of complaining and cursing, he really didn't see a problem with having a roommate. He would just tell them to shut the hell up and leave him alone.

But that was before Pein told him who his roommate was.

He didn't know Schizo's name, but he knew that they were assigned to be roommates. Schizo always sat alone, whilst all the others except that basketball-faced ADHD kid always had another member right by them. Pein had called Hidan to his office and said, "Hidan, I'm assigning you our roommate today, since you'll have to sleep on the couch if I don't. His name is Kakuzu." He was sorting papers, not even glancing at Hidan. At the silence he heard from the albino, who stood stock still, unmoving, he looked up. Usually after about half a minute of silence, the members would leave. Hidan was just standing there, teeth clenched, hands in fists at his side. Schizo?! SCHIZO!? Of all people, the doctor's boy? Surgery freak? Fuck. Fuck.

Pein laced his fingers together and placed them on his desk. "Is there a problem, Hidan?" His tone warned Hidan not to complain. It was almost a dare, egging Hidan to be rude. "Do you and Kakuzu have issues with one another? Because your abilities will be unstoppable in a battle. I put you two together for the sole reason that you two would be very powerful as a team. Are you going to accept my decision?"

Hidan stood there for a minute in silence, trying to say something, anything. After a moment, he stopped grinding his teeth together and managed to say something without cursing fluently. "I have no problem with Schi-Kakuzu."

"Schi." Pein glared up at Hidan. "Would you care to repeat that word, please?"

"Um, no, sir. I wouldn't." The intensity of Pein's icy stare made the albino's magenta eyes have to avert from meeting the gaze. Hidan felt his palms start to sweat. Immortal or not, Hidan could be torn apart and his body parts scattered. If he pissed the Leader off, it would be very, very bad. He thought about the situation at hand. If he repeated the word, and Pein knew that he had been seriously offensive to Schizo, he could be punished. He most likely would be. On the other hand, if he retained his information and refused to tell Pein, the red headed piercing-whore would get angry, and frustrated, and everyone hates a mad boss, especially when they can kill you at a whim. He decided that a pissed off boss was more promising than a murderous one. He quickly drew breath and mumbled, "Um." He cleared his throat and said in a more auditory tone, "I called Kakuzu 'Schizo', sir. He and I don't get along very well, so I…"

"Silence, Hidan," Pein said. "Don't disrespect the rest of the team. We are a work force, Hidan, and drama between roommates and partners will only give me a headache. Do try to be cordial when around your new colleagues. They just might save your life one day, so you'd better be gracious."

Deciding not to point out that he was immortal and his life didn't need saving, Hidan nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Kakuzu is waiting for you outside with your belongings," Pein stated, returning to his oh-so-interesting paperwork. Thirty seconds went by silently as no clocks were present, but Hidan had been counting them subconsciously. Pein looked up at Hidan. "Why are you still here?"

Hidan swallowed and shook his head. "Sorry, sir," he said through gritted teeth—he hated apologizing—and turned to leave, trying to think of something. His mind had been completely blank, probably because of his new room assignment. This really couldn't get much worse.

He saw Kakuzu leaning outside the door. "Hi, Schizo," he growled gutturally. He noticed that Schizo's stitches started to… move? "What the fucking hell?!" He jumped back as tentacle-like appendages emerged from the stitches and Hidan realized they were the stitches. What in Jashin's name was this guy's issue?

"Hidan, I will not tolerate any misbehavior from you. I don't care if you're some sort of cult priest or whatever. If you piss me off, you will pay, with or without your god." The midnight black tentacles slithered around Hidan's neck. "Don't be a prick… it'll come back to you, believe me." Some other tentacles squeezed Hidan's wrist, cutting his skin and drawing blood. Although Hidan was quite tall, Schizo was taller and he sure looked scary right now. Hidan smiled at the pain from his hand. Such a masochist.

Hidan would have nodded, but he knew that his head could come clean off, and then he'd have to sew it back on for like the fifteenth time that month. He could usually find a doctor and threaten to kill him if he didn't sew his damned head back on, but he doubted there were any doctors around here. So instead of going into a situation like that, he simply said quietly, "Yeah, okay."

Kakuzu's tentacles removed themselves from Hidan's neck and wrists. Hidan scowled and rubbed his wounded hands, secretly enjoying the pain. "What are those things?"

"My bloodline limit allows me to use these threads for medical purposes. They're like stitches. Hard to explain," Kakuzu said gruffly. He glared at Hidan. "Pein-sama made us work together for one reason and one reason alone, you little brat. Because I can't kill you. I can chop you up and it won't kill you, I can cut your head clean off, I can drown you, throw you off a building, anything; you won't die. You're immortal. Pein-dono couldn't handle getting me all these new partners. We're not here to be friends or make little friendship bracelets or hold each others hands or care about each other. You're here to humour me and do as I say on missions and stay the fuck out of my way when we're not on missions. Are we completely clear?"

Hidan growled gutturally, "Fine. Damn it to hell, did I just consent to being a fucking slave?! Shit cakes… oh well… in the name of fucking Jashin, the unholy painful spirit by thou rules I abide, hallowed be thy name and manner…"

His prayer was interrupted by a fist to the face. "What the FUCK are you doing, Albino?!" Schizo glared at Hidan though lightning green orbs.

"Praying, dipshit. Did it fucking look like I was making shittin' balloon animals?" Hidan's acid tongue lashed out at the hooded and masked man in front of him. He pushed the slightly larger man in the chest. "You bastard. Asshole, be accepting of others' beliefs!"

"For a 'priest', you sure curse a lot. Are you really as religious as you say?" Kakuzu scoffed, ignoring the shove.

"Jashin isn't like those goody-goody religions. He's not some pansy god," Hidan countered. "You'll see soon enough, heathen." He smirked. "Where the fucking hell are our rooms?"

"Ugh, you're such a brat. We share a room," Schizo/Kakuzu said slowly, walking down the hall and pointing at a door at the end of the corridor they were in. "This is our room." He looked around and then, upon seeing that Hidan was absent from his side, he yelled, "get down this hall, stupid dumbass! Do I have to tell you to do everything myself?!"

Hidan growled, but ran after the large man. "Hey, hey, I'm shittin' sorry, okay?"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "No you're not, asshole. Okay, anyway, this is our room. I do work in here. You are to stay silent, keep to yourself, and just be invisible when in here. Am I completely clear?"

Hidan smirked, "Wait, what was that? I'm a bit deaf in that ear."

The hooded man glared at him menacingly. Hidan bit back an "Ooooh, I'm so scared of the big bad roommate" comment.

So, they would be living together.

Lovely.