Grif strolled along the corridors casually, listening to the Blue team chatter behind him as he followed the trail of bullets leading straight to Sarges position. Either his position or Texs' position as she attempted to kill Tucker.

Junior was hungrily giving out little cheeps and moans. The orange armored man refused to be tricked however. He had seen Caboose after the last time, nad had no wish to give up a gallon of his blood.

Simmons voice drifted back, cursing, as the rat-tat-tat of what sounded like the Warthogs gun went off. Either Sarge found a machine gun and we are now all doomed, Simmons actually managed to fit the Warthog down this corridor, or Sarge has found two guns he likes and is currently going ballistic.

Grif silently hoped it was the second one. Sarge with a machine gun, or even Sarge with two guns would mean his death. At least he had the sniper rifle however. "Oy, don't you want to hurry it up some more?"

"So that way Sarge can plan some new way to be killed? No thanks." Grif snorted slightly bitterly, before he realized something. "Wait, where's Sister?"

"Her? Oh, she and Doc are back behind-"

Sister smiled flirtatiously at Doc, who stared at her in loving hopefulness. Both had their helmets off-

"Fine, so long as it isn't Tucker. Otherwise I'd have to help Tex kill him, and I hate doing anything."

Grif stopped, before turning around. "Wait, Doc is the guy that was in the room at the same time her armor was off, wasn't he- I'm going to go kill him!"

He took off down the hallway, hollering, "SIS! YOU BETTER NOT BE DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING!"

Sisters voice drifted back, "Aw, he figured it out. See you later cutie pie."

"R-Right…"

Firing was now echoing down both ends of the hallways. Church's hand came up to his face as he took a deep breath, reminding himself to keep calm. It was completely wiped away by a "Bow-chicka-bow-wow!" that echoed down the hallways.

He would kill Tucker for saying that to Tex. And his stupid little pet, because Tucker didn't give birth to anything.

With the goal firmly in mind, Church strode down the hallway, desperately hoping that Caboose wouldn't show up to make things worse with his optimism. Oh, right, and while he was wishing that, maybe he should wish for the Master Chief to show up and say that they were all going to be part of his unit as well-

"Excuse me-" There was no mistaking that powerful, gravely voice. Only one freaking person had that voice, and it certainly wasn't anyone stuck within Blood Gulch Canyon. "-but, may I ask who you are?"

"I'm Sarge, captain of the Red team of Blood Gulch Canyon. Been posted here for about five years. Nice to meet you Master Chief. Can I ask what you're doing here?"

Church rounded to corner to see Sarge and Simmons standing before the seven-foot tall legend. Well, Sarge was standing; Simmons looked more ready to faint then stay on his feet for any great length of time.

"My ship was traveling to Earth when an unexpected shockwave tore us apart from the main group, and we were attacked by the Covenant."

"Covenant? You mean these weird alien thingama-bobs?"

Master Chief stared at the red-clad Spartan looking man. He was obviously not a Spartan, for he had trained with all of the Spartans, and he was certain all of them were dead. But still- "Yes. Might I ask where you got your armor?"

"This? We were thrown it moment before coming to Blood Gulch. They didn't even bother properly explaining our armor to us- did you know these things had a megaphone in them?"

"They do?" the slightly surprised inflection in Master Chiefs voice made all of them stop. "I see…"

"Hey, Sarge, Simmons, did you get all of them?" Grifs voice drifted down the hallway, as the tap-tap of approaching feet echoed loudly. "What the- Holy Crap!"

Erratic firing slammed into ears, and Sarge sighed in bliss. "Good, finally. Grif may actually die!"

"Cool, I killed the thing!"

Sarge grumbled softly, as Simmons shoulders relaxed a little. Master Chief looked from person to person, before reaching up to his helmet to contact UNSC, "UNSC, UNSC, come in, do you copy me?"

Static was the only noise in return. He sighed to himself as he looked down at the curious faceplates, each staring at him in the mixture of awe and slight deferment. "Can any of you contact UNSC through your helmet radios?"

"Uh, dude? The only guy we can contact is Vic. And Vic told us he was going to be gone due to some big threat for the next few days. So, no." Grif voice answered the question as Master Chief seriously began to consider where he actually was.

"I need to know where I am."

"You're in a box canyon, named Blood Gulch Canyon…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Master Chief stared down silently at the slowly gathered men –and women- that consisted of the two teams of Blood Gulch Valley. All of them looked up at him innocently. He could hear some holes in their stories, where they obviously had glossed over some facts- but that didn't matter. What mattered was that the Covenant was destroyed, that he got out of this box canyon and back to Earth, and he didn't destroy 'Junior' while he was at it.

"Hey, don't we still need to find Donut and Caboose?"

Silently he reorganized the information into something that at least resembled a timeline compared to the fragmented and extremely odd way of them telling things. First, they were assigned here, before they were assigned two new rookies, Donut and Caboose. There was a little scuffle over the flags, before they had a freelancer named Tex appear to help out. Someone got hurt enough to require a Doctor, which is still outside, looking after the alien 'Junior' which they had adopted from an egg. After which they transferred their tanks A.I. to a ship, and they were currently leaving orbit when we crashed.

Yes, there was information missing, no doubt vital information. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"CHURCH! CHURCH! WHERE ARE YOU MY BESTEST BEST BUDDY? CHURCH! I'M HUNGRY AND I WANT MY ORANGE JUICE!"

As one, both red and blue team members slapped their helmets palm up. A frustrated sigh broke through Church's voice filter, as he turned around. "One moment. I got to go help… what? What are all of those things… aw crap."

Tex spun, instantly chucking a grenade down the hallway. Grif ducked behind Simmons, and Simmons dove for cover behind the boxes. Sarge threw himself behind the two of them. Rapidly Master Chief realized he was the only one not behind some cover-

BOOM! The loud explosion rocked the ship, as Church cursed loudly. Master Chief slid back two paces from the force of the air, before he was distantly aware of a body flying over his head and hitting the wall with a loud clang. He turned towards the body, not noticing the white flash that hurriedly went invisible, before the body twitched, groaning.

"Tex, I swear, you really are trying to kill me-"

"Hmm, darn, it missed."

Master Chiefs' head swiveled to the female, watching her frown beneath the helmets visor. I believe I have landed among people who are completely insane.

"Grif, I swear, if you keep smoking with my lungs, I will kill you this instant."

"What? How can you tell I'm smoking?"

"The smoke is clouding your visor."

"Aw crap." A puff of smoke arose from the orange figure, as he began to adjust himself lazily against the box. "Know-it-all suck-up."

"Lazy moron."

"Nerd."

"Hey! Mom always told me that being a nerd is just fine!"

Crazy indeed. Master Chief shook his head as he strode down the hallway firmly, not stopping to look at the bodies on either side, but on the alert for any attack. The Hallway quickly opened up to a large hole in the side of the ship, sunlight shining through into the blackened interior. Outside he could see Church and a two others, one blue, one… pink. For a confused moment he did a double take, before realizing the one in pink was actually a male.

Well, this would be interesting. Quietly he stepped behind church as he listened to the pink one babble. "-The computer that was down there is completely trashed now! There's no telling what did it! I mean, the cave systems are so big- by the way, when I see Sarge I need to talk to him about maybe drilling a couple holes in there to let the light in, it really is a very, very dark and very depressing place- we should probably see if we can't get some motivational posters…"

"Focus Donut!" Master Chief was already beginning to resign himself to odd nicknames. "Did you see what crashed the computers?"

"What? Of course not, no! I ran to you as fast as possible! …I can take back up my part of the plan again if you want."

"NO! Don't you dare! No, what I want you to go do is go feed Junior, alright?"

"Junior? Ok."

Donut trundled off happily, as Church turned to the blue clad man, looking around, muttering about orange juice and cookies. "Alright, Caboose, I want you to tell me something. When you got slammed through the ground into the cave system, what did you see?"

"Rocks. Lots of rocks. All of the ones that came down from the ceiling, you know the pointy ones? Stalagctities?"

Church took in a deep breath. Caboose miserably waited for the yelling to begin, before another voice intruded on the conversation. "Caboose, did you see anything in the caves that you have never seen before?"

"Yes? No?...Yes, I did. I saw Stagmites." Caboose nodded, and Church snapped.

"CABOOSE! Just freakin' tell me whether you saw any aliens down there!"

"Aliens? You mean like the bat people the guy in orange is always talking about?"

Church drew his gun, and to the dumb-stricken surprise of the Master Chief, began shooting at Caboose. "Caboose, just DIE!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Master Chief knew he was going to regret this. He knew it. All signs were already beginning to gather in his gut, saying odd things, like he was going to severely regret this-

Red and Blue team members, Junior, Doc, and a bomb they had insisted on bringing along with a head and a slightly repaired ship all sat in an expectant semi-circle around him. To either side were the Red and Blue base at perfectly equal distances from each other – they had spent the whole morning wrangling over that. Master Chief still shuddered to think about the amount of negotiation needed to settle the matter – and now he had a bunch of people that looked like expectant kids waiting for a good story.

Above he could feel the sun slowly begin to set, casting cool shadows across the Gulch, shading it from the heat of the sun. "Wake up Grif." The effect was completely ruined as Simmons whacked the back of the helmet, making the orange figure flail off balance. Master Chief didn't flinch, mind already filling out mental reports.

Donut – a man of… questionable tastes. Grif- a lazy, no doubt cowardly man, but who might have a spark of hidden intelligence. Simmons – a man whom really was smart, and not afraid to show it however much of a suck up way it may be. Sarge – a warrior, a fighter. Church – Another warrior, often angry. Tex – A woman he would have no problems fighting with, any day. Tucker – a very strange man, often involved in women. Caboose – An idiot. Sister – another idiot. Doc – a man that Master Chief never wanted treating him.

And he was supposed to lead these men to combat? Lead them through whatever dangers might be coming to be able to get his way to Earth?

He was doomed to failure, but it wouldn't be the first time. "Red. Blue. I doubt you are aware of it, but I'm afraid that the war is over now. The war between Red and Blue-"

Sarge made a motion to protest, when Church elbowed him sharply, still staring up at the man. Sarge kept silent. Master Chief continued on, "-was over a long time ago. Now, it is a war against the Covenant, a war against these alien invaders who'd like to fight against us. I need to get to Earth Immediately to stop these invaders, and I'm afraid that the only way to do that would be to hike to the nearest outpost, which according to what you tell me, is a weeks hike away. I must ask of you to set aside all differences now, and help me reach my target safely, for even as we speak, enemies are undoubtedly landing."

"Look, Master Chief, I get you're doing your hardest to give us a good talk, but I have to say it's pretty low on my meter." Grif snorted. "Why should we leave our nice, safe, box canyon where we can be bored out of our minds, go tramping through who knows what?"

There was a fierce battle cry from the wall of the canyon, as all of the team looked up to see a practical army of Covenants standing on top of the cliff face, screaming at them. "You have got to be kidding me-" Grif began, before Church drew his sniper rifle.

Caboose looked around, "What is everyone staring at? What is going on? Why was that weird noise-"

Caboose broke off as Church fired, missing the Elite on the wall. "No!" He fired again. "Crap!" The trigger was pulled for a third time. "WHY?"

Grif stared up at the Covenant, before he slowly began to inch back, still sitting down. Sarge stared up, before announcing aloud, "I think I have a plan!"

"A plan, oh great, here we go again." Grif muttered under his breath, visor switching over to where Sarge stood.

"The cannon on the Tank still works even though we don't have any more shells to put into there, so I say we're going to place Grif inside of the cannon, where we'll shoot him out of it, up into the covenant where he will hopefully splatter into tiny little particles and die, while gloriously taking out one of the Elite. Wait, never mind, he splatter onto the ground nearby the elite, blinding it, where I will then attack and kill it."

"Excellent plan sir!"

"Suck-up!"

Master Chiefs head buried into his hands. He had known this wasn't going to work. But at least there was some hope- "Simmons, get back to base and pack us each a suitcase for when we go up on top to go kick some alien butt. Except for Grifs. Grif won't need a suitcase. He'll be shot up there."

Church began attempting to bring some rationality. "Tucker, you get back to base, start packing food and ammo. We're accompanying Master Chief back to base where we'll make sure he gets to Earth."

"Hah! Go ahead and retreat sucky Blues! We'll take over this canyon then!"

"No, you'll have to fight the Covenant. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather live then fight an entire army of them with the group we have now."

Simmons nodded. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm going have to agree-"

"Shut up Simmons!" Sarge sniffled slightly. "And here I thought you were a man after my own heart. Someone I could actually trust-"

"You can insult me you know." Grif said lazily.

Master Chiefs stomach fell once more. He was doomed to certain destruction. They would be lucky to get out of this base. Sheila's voice broke over the fight. "Excuse me, but if Sarge would mind installing me back into my tank form, I could pack for you all-"

"No thanks," was the quick reply from everyone, "last time you packed you just gave us filters and some oil. No thanks."

"Lopez, you know how to pack, right?" Sarge didn't bother waiting for a reply from the head. "Good, go with Sheila, and get her to help pack."

"Hey!" Master Chief nearly jumped as the bomb spoke. "Don't I get to blow up anything?"

"Only if you want to get left behind… actually, that might not be a bad idea. If we leave you behind, would you kindly blow yourself up and kill those guys up there?"

"Hey, give me the word, and I can blow up this whole entire stupid canyon."

"All those who vote to bury him here, and let him blow up the canyon, say aye!"

"AYE!" More then eight voices practically shook the canyon floor in the affirmative.

The bomb instantly began complaining. "No way are you leaving me behind. Here I am, I get to be with the Master Chief. It's sure to make my cousins and brothers explode with envy! I'm coming with you, and I'll act as your translator. You can't understand Lopez without me anyways."

"Esperaba realmente que usted me dejara atrás. Realmente. Déjeme atrás. Yo no tengo inconveniente en. Puedo construirme un nuevo cuerpo mientras su lejos." (Translation: I was really hoping that you'd leave me behind. Really. Leave me behind. I don't mind. I can build myself a new body while your away.)

"Aww, Lopez, you want to come along too? That's so good of you. I'll bring along enough spare parts so we can work on getting your body repaired right away."