Naruto: The Humanoid Maelstrom

I don't own Naruto or Naruto: Shippuden; they are owned by Masashi Kishimoto

Nor do I own Trigun or Trigun Maximum, they are owned by Yasuhiro Nightow.

At the time of his birth, Naruto was adopted by Vash and Meryl Stryfe, old friends of Minato. Can Naruto show the world the power of… LOVE AND PEACE!!!!!!

The Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, was holding a newborn Naruto Namikaze in his arms. The young child had just stopped crying as the dreaded Kyuubi or Nine Tails was just sealed inside of him. His old students, Jiraiya and Tsunade, along with Minato's old teammates, Tsume Inuzuka and Hiashi Hyuga were watching the young child, wondering what to do with the child. They haven't revealed his heritage yet, or the truth of Kyuubi and Sarutobi didn't plan on doing any of that, lest Minato's son be hunted and killed. Kakashi Hatake and Rin Inuzuka chose to enter at that point. They bowed at the hokage and spoke.

"For give us for our interruption, Lord Hokage." They spoke as kneeled deeply.

Hiruzen smiled kindly at the pair: "Rise you two, you don't need to bow."

When they rose, Rin instantly noticed the baby Naruto. With a loud "CUTE," she dashed over to the baby and started holding him lovingly. But good things never last long as Rin's loud yell woke Naruto up.

"WHA WHA WHA!!!" cried the baby, hoping to go back to sleep soon.

"RIN!" shouted her older sister/ clan head Tsume, "We just got the pup to sleep and you woke him up again!"

"And you shouting at Rin is going to shut him up sooner?" commented the Hyuga Head in an unusual sarcastic tone.

"Now, now Lord Hiashi," Kakashi spoke at last, "I believe that our first priority is to get little Naruto to sleep first, and argue second."

"Hey, no need to fight everyone," a male voice rang out, "I think I can help in that department, the department of getting the boy to sleep that is."

Everyone turned around to see a tall blonde man with a red duster style trench coat, baggy black pants on underneath and a pair of steel toed boots. He carried himself in a lackadaisical fashion, a silver gun strapped to his hip and a pair of yellow sunglasses. He walked over to the boy and could everyone was tense. He bent down in front of to baby and… started making funny faces to him.

"Bla, boo, bleeleel, boop." The man said in weird tones.

The adults in the room sweat dropped at the older blonde's actions as Naruto laughed. Picking up the baby, the gunslinger chose to introduce himself.

"My name is Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andry Charton-Haymoss Ivanovicci Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III, but I go by another name… Vash."

Everyone wondered where they heard that name before; until they saw Hiruzen, the Hokage, go very pale.

"EVERYONE, GET BACK HURRY!" shouted the aged fire shadow.

"What's wrong, Lord Hokage, who is this man?" Tsume voiced the unspoken question.

"Everyone, we have to evacuate the village now. This is worse than the Nine Tails attacking, in fact, this man could destroy the Nine Tails. We have to run, it's Vash… Vash the Stampede, the legendary Humanoid Typhoon has returned!" shouted the elderly ninja.

Before anyone could run, Vash raised his foot and slammed the door shut with it. Vash was known for accuracy, he has taken down many ninjas, from every village from every clan, the only person to fight and win against the gunslinger was Minato Namikaze, and even that fight nearly killed him, both of them to be exact.

"Hey now, we can speak like adults right, no need for violence. Not when the world is made of… LOVE AND PEACE!" all but shouted Vash.

Other than Sarutobi, everyone was having trouble believing that this man, this idiot of a man was the Legendary Humanoid Typhoon. Standing, Hiruzen picked up the baby Naruto and held him protectively.

"Vash, have you come to kill Minato's son?" the Third asked.

Before Vash could even answer, a female voice rang out, "Vash, what the fuck is taking so long!?", and slammed the door open, hitting Vash in the back and causing him to fall. Naruto laughed as Vash writhed with pain, anime tears flowing down his face. Everyone looked to see the cause of the injury. A black hair woman walked into the room, and she was pissed. She had a tomboyish face, short black hair and grayish blue eyes. She wore a white blouse with a purple ribbon tied around the neck and two golden earrings, one on each ear. The shirt seemed to have a cloak attached to it, it was also white but the inside was black. Brown holder were on the inside and seemed to hold 10 or so small guns in each, each gun held on shot and was thrown away after that. Her name is Meryl Stryfe, Vash's wife and former stalker.

"Uuuggggh." Groaned the man, as his wife had knocked him to the ground, "Help me." Before another hit from Meryl knocked him out cold

"Okay," spoke Meryl, "I'm not going to mince words, we're here to adopt Naruto, as a last request from Minato, got it old man?"

"Don't you dare disrespect Lord Hokage that way?!" shouted Rin, causing Naruto to wake up and cry… again.

"Rin, again, come on, we just him back to sleep." Lazily groaned Kakashi

*sniff, sniff* Tsume sniffed the air twice before running out of the room and standing behind the door. Rin followed suit 30 seconds later, both ready to pass out.

"Lord Hokage, I think the pup needs a diaper change." Spoke the Inuzuka matriarch in a nasally voice, more or less from pinching her nose closed. Rin made a "mm, hmm" sound, refusing to move her hand from her face

All the guys paled, safe for Vash who is still out cold, and ran to where Tsume and Rin were, leaving the crying baby alone in room with the legendary killer and his crazy wife. Realizing their mistake, the Hokage and his Shinobi went to rush back into the room only to Meryl changing Naruto's diaper. Since Meryl and Vash still in the room, Meryl grabbed a clean diaper from a baby bag next to Hokage's desk and took off baby Naruto's dirty diaper. Using a wipe, powder and a clean diaper, Naruto stopped crying and disposed of the dirty diaper by throwing it in the trash can, and started pulling guns out of her cape, and was shooting the diaper with as many guns as she could, until the diaper, and Sarutobi's trash can, were both no more.

"So," Meryl spoke, "About that adoption, what do you say?"

"Yes," spoke Vash "miraculously" woke up after Naruto was changed, "May we now adopt Naruto, Lord Hokage?" Vash asked in an enthusiastic, respectful, and silly tone.

With a sigh, Hiruzen took out the adoption papers, knowing that he couldn't stop them, or help Naruto without revealing his heritage or the truth of the Nine Tails. The other four ninja watched as Vash and Meryl singed that papers to adopt Naruto, not sure how to feel. Hiruzen cleared his throat, bringing everyone to attention.

"Vash, Meryl, know this, if Naruto shows any signs of neglect, I will personally kill you both, got it, and I have four other Shinobi here that would love to get a shot in." threatened the Hokage, with a killer intent that scared them both.

Vash and Meryl left the Hokage's office with baby supplies, scrolls on ninja arts (all of them), and a message to Naruto for them to give to him, only when Hiruzen gives the okay, but Meryl was going to be having nightmares from what happened in the office.

==Flashback==

Before Vash and Meryl left the office, Vash turned to the ninja, a bag of baby supplies in his hand. Meryl turned around to see what Vash was going to do.

"Don't worry Lord Hokage," spoke the Humanoid Typhoon, "Under mine and Meryl's care, little Naruto will learn the true values of… LOVE AND PEACE!!!!!!!" shouted the blond as he held a peace sign high above his head.

To everyone's surprise, and horror, Naruto chanted: "Ooo ooo Ahh!" and held his hands in the same way as Vash.

"OH GOD, NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!" shouted Meryl.

==Flashback End==

Banishing the memory from her mind, she and Vash walked to their hotel, they planned to leave after Minato's funeral, with their new son in her arms. As such began the new life of Naruto Stryfe, the adopted son of Vash the Stampede and Meryl Stryfe. And the next ninja of LOVE AND PEACE !!!!!!