Chapter 1

Not many people impressed Grissom. He has been dealing with the public for sometime now.

He has meant people from all walks of life, even the president at one time.

But there she stood, the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.

She had applied for the CSI job that was open.

Ecklie handed her to him because he was supervisor, "Miss Sidle, have a seat," he said, "May I call you Sara?"

"Yes sir," she replied.

"Grissom or Gil will be fine. I have just a few questions. Your application says you worked in San Francisco. Why did you leave?" "Personal" was all she said.

"Personal? You don't want to elaborate on that?" he asked. "Let's say that my supervisor and I no longer saw eye to eye and my life became unbearable."

"You are a CSI grade 3? Not many women reach that grade," he added.

"I realize that, it took me a while to get it too," she added.

"It says you went to school to get it, not through work as most do," he questioned.

"My supervisor did not think women should be grade 3. He would not let me do it the "normal way", she told him.

"It is much harder to do it through school, you are to be congratulated," he said. She thanked him.

"You have not worked for 3 years?" he asked. "I did, it is listed here. I did take a year off between San Francisco and Hill Crest," she leans in and points to the spot where she has it written down.

The smell of her hair was intoxicating.

"It is a small town east of here. I could not do the kind of work I wanted to do there," she tells him.

"I see no reason why you can't start shift tomorrow," he told her. She stood and shook his hand and said she would see him then.

Her hand felt so soft, and those eyes, how beautiful. There was no doubt he was in love.

He called San Francisco. "Mr. Jones, This is Gil Grissom. I'm with the crime lab in Las Vegas. A Sara Sidle has applied here and I am checking her references out."

Jones verified all her information, told him she was an excellent criminologist and a good worker.

"Why did she leave?" Gil asked.

There was a pause, "About 3 years ago we had a disagreement and things went down hill from that. Shortly after she left."

Grissom thanked him. Over the next week Gil has asked her out several times. Each time she was busy and unable to go.

He finally asked flat out if she was involved with someone. She told him no, just busy.

He did not know it was hard for her to say "NO".

She was interested in him and she wanted to get to know him but ….. she had a secret that kept her from acting on her feelings.

He looked up her address, he wanted to see her, off the clock, not just as a co worker.

It was a post office box. Her phone number was a cell number, no way to get an address from that.

He was beginning to wonder if she was hiding something.

Sara was hiding something, something she was determined no one would find out about.

Gil could not bring himself to stop trying to get to know her. He had never really been in love before.

He had had relationships in the past, but none had effected him the way she did.

He dreamed about her almost every night. She occupied his every thought, every beat of his heart, every breath he took, she was there. He went to Human Resource Department and looked at her personal information.

No next of kin listed, her life insurance went to an attorney, who would tell Grissom nothing. The attorney was also the person listed to notify in case of an emergency.

She showed up for work on time every shift, left right after, never hanging out with the gang. It was almost as if the only time she existed was at work.

Shift started as always, everyone hanging around the break room waiting for Gil to hand out the assignments for the night.

Gil walked in and saw Sara sitting by herself reading, while the others talked or watched television.

"Nick, we have a leaper. Some guy took a header off the top floor at the GOLDEN NUGGET. Take Warrick with you. Catherine, you have been personally requested at the BACK YARD GRILL. A friend of yours is in some trouble. If it gets to be a conflict of interest, then trade with Warrick. Sara, we have a DB in the woods. I hope insects and decomp don't bother you?"

"No sir," was her reply as she laid down her book and followed him out to the Tahoe. He tried to talk to her again.

"The small town you said you lived in?" he started. "Hill Crest," she said. "Yes. You said you could not do the job you wanted to do? What did you mean be that?"

Sara took a deep breath, "It was mostly a male run department. They didn't like woman doing "men's work" so I resigned."

She was confused, she really hated answering his questions. She was afraid he would uncover her secret.

But then she also wanted to know as much about him as possible. She was in love, but she had to keep her distance.

She could not get involved. At the site Sara further impressed Gil. She went straight to work, no squirming over the bugs and no wrinkled nose over the smell.

She asked questions, he answered, She seemed to be interested in learning.

Nick and Warrick were processing their scene. "I don't get Sara," Nick said. "She dose not try to fit in."

"You mean because she won't let you bang her?" Warrick asked laughing.

"No … not that I have not tried," he said. "It is just that, well she dose not want to … you know, hang with the rest of us. It is almost like she thinks she is to good for the rest of us."

"She is good at what she does," Warrick said, "That is all I care about." "That is because you and Catherine have a thing going on," Nick said.

Warrick just shook his head, "Load that stuff in the Tahoe and let's get back."

After shift Gil once more asked Sara it she wanted to stop for a bite to eat, once more she said "No." "For heaven's sake," he said, "it is only breakfast. Not a life time commitment."

Sara's phone rang, using text messages instead of talking she answered it. After closing her phone she looked at him and said, "Ok. Why not. I have a few minutes."

Grissom almost passed out…she finally said YES. They went to OVER EASY, his favorite place to eat. They ordered their breakfast, to his surprise they ordered the same thing.

Over the meal she opened up a little about herself. But when it came to San Francisco, she shut the door. Considering this progress, he asked her out to dinner and a movie that night.

"What is it you want from me?" she asked him. "I just want to know you better," he told her covering her hand with his. A look came into her eyes that he had never seen before, he was not sure if it was anger, or disgust, or what it was.

But whatever it was her reaction surprised him even more, "If all you want is a piece of tail, there are a lot of hookers on the strip."

She threw down her silverware, pushed away from the table and stormed out the door.

He could not move, he just sat there and watched as she got in her car and sped away.

At her place Sara went to her room and fell on her bed and started to cry. "I should not have said that," she said out loud to no one. "He is such a wonderful person and I care for him." She cried until she fell asleep.

Gil finally got over his shock, paid the bill and went back to the lab. He called Hill Crest and talked to her supervisor.

All he would say was that "Miss Sidle did not want to be a woman, she wanted to do what the men did." That was why she left.

Gil did not understand that line of thinking but … There was a lot of things he did not understand.

All he knew for sure was HAD to find her and talk to her. He had to know what could have happened in her life that made her that way. All the next shift she ignored Gil. She only spoke when he talked to her, and then they were short answers.

She was about to clock out and go home when Gil seen her in the hallway. "Sara," he said, "I need to see you in my office before you leave." She walked in.

"Shut the door please," he said pointing to a chair. She looked at him, "I think I will stand," "About earlier," he said, "you misunderstood me. I do not believe in casual sex, that was not my intention. I think you are a fascinating lady and I would like to get to know you better." "Thank you for explaining. I need to go," she said.