I don't own Ouran High School Host Club. If I did though, *smirk* Hikaru and Kaoru would be.... nevermind ;)
Well, enjoy people. Yes this story is quite sad
If you like Ellen Hopkins, You'll understand the title and the first paragraph :D

Pairings: Hikaru and Kaoru, very minor Kaoru and Kyoya, Hikaru and Haruhi (Because I HATE that couple with a burning passion! .)

I'm done stalling, ENJOY!

When I look into a mirror, it is his face I see. His right is my left, my right is his left, unblemished. We are exact opposites, Hikaru and me. Mirror-image identical twins. One egg, one sperm, one zygote, divided, sharing one complete set of genetic markers. On the outside we are the same but on the inside, we're different.

Kaoru's POV

I just don't understand. How can I remember in detail of all of last nights events but Hikaru just doesn't remember. I don't think it's because he doesn't WANT to remember. I think it's more of the alcohol's fault. Yes, I remember quite well...

Looking at him sleeping soundlessly everything comes back. I trace the outline of his lips softly with my fingertips. Good thing he's a heavy sleeper.

His sleeping form was simply beautiful. Yeah, we're identical twins but, there's certain faces that he could make that just seem so natural with him.

Hikaru.

I pulled my legs off of the bed and glanced at the clock. It read 3:54 am. It's a Thursday.

I pulled on my clothes, something told me to regret everything that happened just a few hours ago but it was the drunken slur that moaned my name to make me completely forget about it. Yeah, call me crazy, call me sick, call me twisted, I don't care. I'm in love with Hikaru Hitachiin. My twin brother. But then again you already knew that eh?

I could feel the pulsing pain in my rectum from Hikaru's drunken thrusts. I bit my lip. It was actually quite painful.

Since I only had a little buzz I wasn't completely out of it. I don't know how he talked me into such an outrageous stunt but he did. What can I say? I did it for Hikaru. He wanted it so I gave it to him.

I rubbed my temples. Though the experience was nearly pleasurable there was a slight tingling of pleasure. Hikaru just couldn't last long enough to get to it fully.

I got up and walked to the bathroom and sighed as I gazed around then decided to shower. Even though it made me feel much more content knowing I had Hikaru's lips and body against my skin before, I'll just get over it.

I'm just noticing all of the love bites I have over me. There are tiny ones on my neck but most of them were on my shoulders and chest. Man that guy goes all out.

After completely cleaning myself off I dried up and went back to the bed. I didn't bother getting dressed. I was much to tired. It was only 4:37 am. I still had a little while to sleep.

Waking up was a disaster. I was kicked off of the bed and slammed myself on the floor which hurt like hell. I glared at Hikaru's sleeping form and quickly got dressed then sat back on the bed after pushing him off of the other side.

How strange that he stayed asleep.

This guy is a brick.

I glanced over at the clock and saw that it indeed was nearly time for him to get up anyway. I slightly smiled. Even though I'm kind of angry at Hikaru right now I wanted to see him up. Last night was our first kiss, and our first lots of things. Maybe I'd get a good morning kiss?

I placed him back on the bed then shook his shoulder.

"Hikaru." I said softly and he grumbled. "Hikaru, you have to get ready for school. Hikaru." I simply loved the way his name felt on my lips and tongue.

"I'm up Kaoru." He grumbled and opened his eyes tiredly then yawned. I couldn't help but smile at his perfection. He was cute when he woke up, I'll give him that. Actually I'll give him anything he wants. As long as my twin brother is happy so am I.

"Now why the hell am I naked?" He asked looking down and I blushed and my mouth dropped slightly.

"What do you mean?" I asked and furrowed my brow. "You don't remember?"

"No, I have a huge headache though. What happened last night?" He curiously tilted his head and I sighed and stood up and walked out of the room. I couldn't believe it. Last night I gave up everything... And he doesn't remember a thing.

How could that be possible...?

I felt like punching something but I didn't. I kept my posture. I just sat down on the stairs and could nearly hear the violin play. Me and Hikaru are practically inseparable but right now I just didn't want to see him.

Truth be told, I didn't want to see myself either. Could it be the resemblance. The fact that if I look in the mirror it'll seem that my hair is parted the way that Hikaru's is? I just don't know. I couldn't tell you.

"Kaoru." Hikaru called and then finally saw my sitting position. Honestly I felt like the Lonely Prince. I need my mushrooms... "Kaoru there you are."

"..." I couldn't answer, I wouldn't answer. I wanted Hikaru to remember everything that happened last night. But since he didn't, then might as well act like it never happened right?

"Kaoru, what happened last night, could you tell me?" Hikaru asked and sat next to me and I turned to him and decided to lie. Lie to my brother, my lover, my life. I lied.

"I guess you don't remember because of the alcohol. But it was nothing... You were just sweating and I guess you were having a bad dream so I undressed you. Sorry, I was just so scared. I didn't know what was going to happen. I thought you were sick. I apologize.. Hikaru." I lied. I felt disgusting but he sort of looked a tad bit shocked. He hugged me tightly.

"I assure you that I was fine. I don't even remember it so obviously it wasn't that important huh?" He grinned and with that line he could've ripped out my heart.

It kept repeating itself in my head.

I don't even remember it so obviously it wasn't that important huh?

".... I guess not." I declared and stood up. He tilted his head slightly.

"Kaoru, you seem upset. Is something bothering you?" He asked and again, I lied. I smiled cutely.

"Oh no, nothing is wrong. Just... Worried." And by worried I mean heartbroken.

"It's ok, it was no big deal." He finally said and hugged me again before going to get changed into his uniform.

And I'd wait for him.

"Kaoru-kun, what's wrong?" Honey asked and I turned to him with a smile.

"Nothing is wrong, why does everyone say something's wrong with me when nothing is wrong with me?" I asked with that horribly fake smile of mine. Honey's happy expression faded quite quickly.

"You don't have to lie to me Kaoru-kun." He said softly and my expression dropped a bit.

"Honey-senpai..." I whispered and he smiled cutely.

"Want some cake?" He offered and I shook my head.

"No thank you." I said and turned around.

"If you want to talk you could always come to me, okay?" Honey smiled widely and I turned and nodded and gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine Honey-senpai, really."

"I'm really grateful for everything you did last night. You were there for me when I was breaking through a fever." Hikaru said and tilted up my chin. Blushing I turned the other way.

"Hikaru, it was nothing. I simply undressed you because I didn't want you to overheat." I said bashfully.

"Why don't you let me undress you Kaoru?" He purred and I had small tears in my eyes.

"Your really embarrassing me in front of these girls Hikaru." I said coyly and all of the girls around us started squealing.

If only he knew the truth.

Why am I to afraid of telling him?

He'd find out sooner or later right? He should...

What if he rejects what happened and wants to get different rooms or something? What if he'd leave me alone? I need Hikaru.

"Kaoru are you ok?" Hikaru asked, sounding more staged than anything we've practiced.

"I'm fine Hikaru." I said and got up and left. I honestly had no idea where I was going but obviously somewhere to sort things out. I just wish I had someone to talk to.

"And just where do you think your going?" Kyoya asked chuckling and my eyebrow twitched. Anyone BUT him.

"I'm going for a walk, do you have a problem?" I snapped and turned to him and he raised his eyebrow.

"You DO realize your going to cause the profits to go incredibly lower. Right now you left Hikaru alone with 5 girls who want to see brotherly love." Kyoya said and pushed up his glasses.

"Well they could find someone else for that right now, ok?" I hardly noticed my voice cracking. I didn't even notice the tears until I turned around and ran off and see myself in the reflection of the fountain. "This isn't staged Hikaru, so why does it feel like it is?"

~~~No one's POV in Music Room 3~~~

"Kyoya-senpai where'd Kaoru go?" Haruhi asked in her usual monotone voice.

"He had other things to do right now." Kyoya said carefully. He didn't know if he should let the whereabouts of Kaoru be let out but than again, who wouldn't see him? He was in front of the school sitting on a fountain.

"Where's that?" Hikaru snapped angrily. "Somewhere more important than with me?" Well it was a good thing all of the girls left.

"It seems that Kaoru is very upset, why? Who knows. But I'm pretty sure he wants to be alone right now. But if you don't want to take my advice..." Kyoya pointed. "He's sitting at the fountain."

"Bye." Hikaru dashed off and Kyoya sighed.

"What's going on with those two?" Honey asked curiously and Mori shrugged.

"This better not be a fake fight again." Haruhi mumbled.

"No, they seem to be in true despair! We must help them!" Tamaki said being completely over dramatic.

"The twins should sort this out on their own senpai." Haruhi stated and Tamaki went in his emo corner and began to plant mushrooms.

"I think that's a GREAT idea Tamaki!!" Honey cheered happily immediately bringing Tamaki out of his depressed stage and onto his happy-go-lucky stage.

"Thank you Honey! Now I need to talk to mommy so hold on a second..."

~~~Kaoru's POV~~~

I continued looking at the reflection of myself slightly dreaming that it was Hikaru. But I knew it wasn't so why did I continue to hope?

I added my own liquid to the fountain. My tears dropped in and I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"KAORU!" I heard Hikaru scream and I turned to him and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Hikaru." I whispered and he finally got to me and took a second to catch his breath.

"Why did you run off like that?" He asked and my heart broke and I jumped up and hugged him. Even if he doesn't remember it's ok. I still love him.

"I'm sorry. I'll never do it again." I promised.

Where did all of the fan girls come from?

"Good Kaoru, you had me worried." Hikaru kissed my forehead tenderly and my face heated up and I smiled softly.

Hikaru.

This is my first Ouran High School Host Club story, PLEASE review. It would mean a lot to me if you did. :)