Disclaimer: Well, considering I'm not richer than England royalty, I don't own Harry Potter. Or Twilight.
Story: The books happened. And then Harry decided to happen. So he did, living his life and traveling the world. Then Teddy comes into his care and he decides to settle down in Forks, somehow drawing attention even when he doesn't want it. Teddy is just exasperated and having his own fun.
Set after book 7, AU Epilogue and slightly altering the final battle.
Spoilers: Books 1-7 probably.
Warnings: ?
Pairings: Harry/Marcus, Aro/Bella/Carlisle, Alice/Jasper, Emmett/Rosalie, Esme/Charlie, Teddy/Leah, Sam/Jacob, Garrett/Kate, Diego/Tanya, Fred(Twi)/Bree, Riley/Renesmee…

Stranger Happenings
Chapter Fourteen: Ice Ice Baby!

Carlisle looked around in boredom, waiting for Bella and Harry to finish grabbing what they needed. Having finished their pictures, after bewildering Felix and Jane completely, they'd gone off to do some "errands" they'd been asked to do by the Kings and the wives. Consequently, Edward looked lost as well and couldn't comprehend the still floating camera, nor the fact Bella had gone off with "that strange man he'd never met."

"Is Master Aro alright?" Jane came to his side, demanding an answer.

Carlisle blinked slowly at her, giving her a bored look after. "He's fine. Too fine. Fine enough to be arguing with me over Bella," Carlisle twitched irritably. "Just because he's her baby daddy…"

There was absolute silence and then Carlisle realized what he'd inadvertently revealed. He inwardly shrugged. Oh well.

"What?" Edward had a heartbroken look on his face, while the two Volturi members looked flabbergasted.

Alice gave him an amused look that he did outwardly shrug at.

"Yeah, okay. This was going to get out sooner or later –might as well now," he heaved a great sigh. He turned towards his son. "Edward, I'm dating Bella. So no, you can't have her back. No takebacks. Also, Aro –yes, Volturi King Aro –knocked her up somehow, and she's probably going to pop out a vamp baby pretty soon."

Carlisle admitted he felt a sense of satisfaction and reward at shocking them all into silence and complete daze. He kind of felt like Harry and understood a little the man's eagerness to shock people.

It was finally sinking in for Edward that his father just said he was dating Bella, having missed the implication before because he had zeroed in on what Carlisle had said about Aro. But now, as a stormy look grew on his face, he furiously faced his father figure.

Just then, of all the bad timing in the world, Harry and Bella came back. They both blinked at the scene.

"What happened here?" Harry asked innocently, though everyone (even those that had just met him) knew he was far from innocent, even if he really didn't actually know what was going on (for once).

"Is it true?" Edward looked at Bella, looking heartbroken again.

"What is?" Bella scowled in his direction.

"That you're dating Carlisle and pregnant with Aro's baby!" Edward shouted at her.

"This is like an awesome soap opera," Harry commented, looking between her and Edward. "I mean we could really win an Emmy or something. 'All My Vampires' or something. 'Days of Our Undead Lives.'"

Bella hit his arm and he yelped. "Harry!" Then she looked indifferently at Edward. "Yeah, so? It's not your problem, Edward. We broke up a long time ago. You wanted a 'clean break.' So technically, there's really nothing between us. At all."

"Ouch. Burn," Alice snickered in the background.

Edward tossed her a glare, but Alice was in too good of a mood to care.

"Bella, please! You need to understand I was doing it for you –"

"Yes, yes, I've heard it all before," Bella started to sound pissed off. "It's been explained to me and really makes no damn sense or difference! I don't care, Edward! And I don't care about us, about you, or your stupid explanation! I hated the explanation before, especially since it made no sense to me, and now I just don't even care at all. Move on, Edward, and leave me alone."

"I think it's time to leave," Harry winced. "Alice, Carlisle, if you will."

The two said vampires came closer, and Harry grabbed them with one hand and Bella with the other.

"Toodles!"

And they disappeared from there, with a loud crack and leaving the others left behind in shock again. Then steadily, Edward's fury began to rise again.

He was going to get to the bottom of this and win Bella back.

The group reappeared back in Harry's mansion rather than the inn, and while everyone stumbled on their landing, Harry stood upright and in thought.

"Were we supposed to bring young Edward along?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Nah. We were supposed to –and we successfully did, might I add –stop him from doing something stupid. He can make his own way here."

"Hopefully not," Bella muttered.

Carlisle had to reluctantly agree with her, feeling slightly sorry for his son though. But still…

"So, forgetting about him, let's go get some grub. I'm hungry!" Harry said enthused.

"Me too!" Bella echoed, mood uplifting a little.

"Vamps here," Alice cut in in amusement.

"There's Blood Pops, I'm sure."

Relenting and going along with that, they traveled from the mansion to the inn, using Teddy's favorite passageway, and running into the boy himself.

"Papa," he greeted Harry in surprise. "You're back already?"

"Yep," Harry said cheerfully. "Have I missed anything?"

"Not much," his godson shrugged nonchalantly. "Everyone practically knows we're magic and Aro and the others are dying to see Quidditch."

The group with Harry were stumped, while Harry just blinked.

"I see. That's actually…quite a bit. Perhaps you could tell us everything while we head over?" Harry asked sheepishly.

Also, the vampires were still trying to process that fact while Bella had shrugged it off. Something else strange and supernatural –story of her life. Besides, she'd suspected something off about Harry and his group for a long time, so this was just confirmation anyhow.

Teddy began talking about everything they had missed and Harry nodded along, thinking about the consequences and choices to make now that everyone somewhat knew the truth.

Particularly his ability and fondness for springing crazy, usually magical, acts on everyone. Which actually went along with his favorite excuse –"It's magic!" Could he still use that excuse? Hm, probably yeah. They all just would be less ignorant about how true that was now, but they might be even more exasperated than before.

"Well, so not big news after all," Harry decided, which got him strange looks from the still bewildered duo of vampires, while Bella's lips twitched up.

They finally reached the inn, exiting the passageway and finding themselves near all three Volturi Kings. Aro spotted them first, eyes lighting up and he practically flounced over to them.

"You're all back! Harry, we must absolutely talk, but first –" he went closer to Bella, ignoring Carlisle's warning growl, and thoroughly examined her state to make sure she was fine. "Bella love, you look wonderful as always," he smiled widely after he finally finished, and then placed his hand on her stomach and cooed. "And you're just as lovely~"

Marcus and Caius came over as well, with Caius yanking his errant brother away from Bella. Marcus, in the meantime, sidled closer to Harry.

"So anything you need to say?" Marcus gave him a bland look.

Harry beamed at him. "Nope! Looks like everything's been said for me. Food?"

Marcus refrained from the irresistible urge to face palm. Instead, he started walking ahead to lead the way. In the back, Aro was delightedly (after finishing with Alice and Carlisle), getting the memory feedback of their trip to Volterra from Harry and Bella.

"Delightful!" he heard Aro exclaim. "Oh, and if you want the Mona Lisa, my dear, you need only ask."

Marcus wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"Um, it might be just me, but…am I hearing hail outside?" Alice asked doubtfully.

"Yes, you are hearing right," Caius sneered, though his eyes were strangely amused. "The Weasleys have apparently created some kind of prank tool called 'Which Witchy Weather?' which allows you to –as the sales pitch says –'Be a Weather Wizard!' Or witch, if you are so inclined, but it was meant to reference some kind of fictional character."

There was complete silence in the group, when Bella burst out laughing.

"So someone chose to make it hail outside?" she asked mirthfully.

"Technically, it was meant to snow, but the product is in its prototype stages…"

Harry snickered as well. "Well…no one can say it's unusual. It's Forks after all. Complete with constant dismal weather."

Bella huffed. "At least it's not raining, like it usually is."

Edward wasn't happy. In fact, he was downright miserable at the moment, courtesy of having to be stuck on an airplane and squished in his seat in the place. But that was only contributing to his unhappiness.

No, what really was making him unhappy was the state of things now. That Bella wasn't with him. That she was upset with him. That she wouldn't listen to him, especially his explanation and reasons.

That his father, the man who took him in, was now dating her! How could he! Outrageous!

He just couldn't understand how that came to be. Wasn't he too old for her? Well yes, Edward himself was over a hundred, but physically he was…just a year younger than her. Carlisle had changed at like…23. Bella was…18. So yes, Carlisle was much older than her.

And don't get Edward started on Aro. Now that was unbelievable! They must be pulling his leg, trying to piss him off after everything. To make him pay back for starting all this trouble.

Well he wasn't going to buy it at all. He was going to have to see it with his own eyes, and even then he would be doubtful it was Aro's. Vampires can't get humans pregnant after all.

"Can you just shut up?" a voice ahead of him hissed out, and a blonde head popped up over the seat ahead of him. Jane glared irritably at him. "I don't have to be a mind reader to hear your stupid thoughts!"

"Ah, Jane, he's probably not helping with all that muttering he's been doing."

If Edward could, his face would be flushing red then. And he hadn't even noticed he'd been muttering! Even if it was muttering too low for humans to hear, though clearly the two vampires in front of him (where had they come from and why were they there?) could definitely hear him.

Felix pulled Jane back into her seat. "Just ignore him. He can be a grump and a loser back there."

"What are you guys even doing here?" Edward grumbled.

"Hm? Did you hear something, Jane?" Felix asked his seat companion with a questioning tone.

"No. Probably just an irritating fly."

"Yeah, you're right."

Edward started gnashing his teeth.

"This is a lot of ice," Harry commented blithely as he turned on the ice shaver machine and shoved some of the hail in it, after breaking them down into manageable pieces.

Marcus prepared the flavors on the table, as his brothers retrieved more hail from some ways away from them. While the four of them madly stood in the hailing weather ("It's fine! I'll make a magical shield for protection or something!" Harry says then, but it only covered himself in the end).

"It's hailing all around us after all. Of course there's a lot of ice," Marcus deadpanned.

"This is fun!" Aro said a few steps away with an armful of hail. One came at him from the sky, but he just batted it away without care.

"How did I get dragged into this?" Caius glared at the ground as he gathered hail.

"You're trying new things now, remember? Come on, Caius! Pick up the pace!"

"I'll throw a bloody piece of hail at your head!"

"Ohhh, a hail fight! I wonder how it would compare to a snow fight?"

Marcus tuned out his brothers and looked at Harry, who was happily scooping up some shaved ice into a cup. He held it out to Marcus.

"All the flavors, darling."

Marcus grabbed the colorful bottles and began squeezing them over the cup, coloring and flavoring the ice. Afterwards, Harry took it back and took a bite.

"Mm, good! Carlisle! Hand this to Bella!"

And so they began to make snow cones for everyone there. It was hailing after all, so there was plenty of ice to go around. However, a familiar blonde (with a bemused but calm Laurent) started dragging someone behind her from the opposite direction of the inn and house.

"I found someone," Luna announced as the group of people enjoyed snow cones under the inn's porch and under the wooden top (under normal circumstances, they were all sure that the hail would've broken through the wood).

Bemused, Bella came closer and saw the dazed vampire the blonde was dragging around and peered just the slightest closer. However, the unknown vampire's eyes (red, she noted quickly) snapped open and he snarled at her, lunging at Bella and breaking from Luna's hold. Laurent, already there, managed to quickly grab the vampire, giving enough time for Carlisle to snap up a hail and throw it like a pro at the unknown vampire and making his head snap back (Damn that was a good hit. She guessed all those years playing baseball had been helpful.). In the meantime, she found herself behind a very furious vampire King snarling at the unknown vampire, while Caius barely was able to hold his brother back from mauling the other.

Stunned, Bella searched out Harry, seeing him also having appeared nearby but looking unconcerned at the same time. When he saw her looking at him, he wagged his eyebrows at her, before mouthing "Player." He then gestured to Carlisle and Aro, and Bella felt her face flush bright red.

"Who are you to attack my baby mama, you cretin?" Aro growled at the unknown vampire, eyes black as onyx. From somewhere to the side (around Carlisle's area), discontented growling was heard.

"He would be extremely scary right now…if I could take him seriously after using that term and calling you his baby mama," Matt said behind him. Jessica and the others giggled behind Bella, who just wanted to bury her face into her hands and hide from reality.

"I'm extremely dissatisfied," Bella deadpanned into her hands, having decided to do it after all. If only she really could hide from reality though.

"Have I mentioned that you look adorable being so embarrassed all the time?" Jacob teased her, while Sam casually draped his arm around the younger boy. Bella eyed that. When did that happen? When she'd been gone? Aw, she hadn't wanted to miss that!

"We could even take a bunch of photos and create annual calendars of her," Sam continued the teasing.

"You two aren't invited to my baby shower," Bella announced suddenly.

"Wait, wait! We were joking!" Sam panicked.

"Bella!" Jacob whined.

Bella smirked. Served them right. She'd let them grovel for a bit though, before she told them she was kidding.

Just then Aro slapped the vampire up the head. "Well?"

The vampire flinched. "I'm Riley," he muttered, cowed by then, especially being so surrounded.

"Riley Biers?" Charlie finally cut in, and also finally put a name to the face of the kid in front of him that he had thought he'd recognized earlier. "You've been missing awhile, young man! Your mother's been worried."

Riley flinched again. "I was…I was walking at night and was grabbed by –" He shut up and didn't talk for a moment, making him seem suspicious. "She grabbed me and turned me into this. Now I've just been around."

"I found him," Luna supplied helpfully.

"Yes, Luna," Draco said forcibly patiently. "You said so earlier. How did you find him and why did you bring him here are the questions we want to know."

"The Nargles led me to him," Luna said, sincerely and much more patiently. "When I saw him around La Push, the Nargles were trying to inform him that big doggies there didn't like his kind and he had to stay away. He was kind of stubborn."

"She pointed a stick at him and froze him somehow," Laurent filled in the gap. "Then she dragged him here because I don't know." Just not all the gaps.

Luna shrugged. "I figured he needed to be brainwashed by Harry." She then shoved a Blood Pop into Riley's mouth, which Laurent eyed jealously, and shuffled more possessively closer to her.

"Forget all this," Jessica said irritably. She pointed a finger imperiously at Riley. "Are you going to cause trouble?"

"No?" he asked more than said, while stretching out the 'o'. Though he sucked on the Blood Pop, enjoying it and wondering what it was made of.

"Why is that a question?" the human girl snapped at him. "Never mind. Just don't cause any trouble! I heard 'baby shower' being mentioned earlier after all, and there's no way in hell that it's not going to happen and we're not planning it right now and making it come true in at least three days. Angela, Leah, Miss Lovegood, Ms. Granger, Mrs. Cullen," at that she glanced between Esme and Bella weirdly, before shaking her head, "Alice, grab Bella and distract her, so she'll be surprised."

"Well, what the hell do the rest of us do?" Mike frowned at her.

"Be on standby, duh," Jessica rolled her eyes. "Mr. Cullen and Aro need to check on that guy, 'cause he's the one who almost attacked their woman, so they better keep an eye on him. The rest of you we'll need help to fix things up, do the heavy work, etc."

"I heard there was an ice shoving on the beaches of La Push," Ben said quickly. "Wanna check out the ice pileup?"

A chorus of loud 'yeahs~' answered him and before the girls knew it, all the guys had emptied out of the area and were no longer around.

Jessica huffed. "Boys!"

Bella just hung her head. "Why me?" she mumbled, though the hail was finally dying down.

"This is pretty cool," Jacob glanced at the huge slabs of ice on the shoreline.

"They're like icebergs," Aro said in delight, clapping his hands. Only problem with that was that one of this hands was holding onto Riley's collar (and keeping a tight hold), so the action was shaking the poor guy around.

"Fun time!" George cackled. He and his red-headed brothers began enchanting the spare ice around them into miniature figures and were having a ball attacking each other.

To make matters worse, Harry somehow made snow from the ice around them and leftover hail, and was creating snowballs out of them and enchanting them to hit the Weasleys, and also aimed a few at Draco's head (reminiscent of that time the Weasley twins, bless Fred, had enchanted some to unknowingly hit Voldemort while he'd been plastered on the back of Quirrell's head).

"Think the girls will be pissed at us for ditching them?" Mike asked Ben.

Ben snorted. "I know Angela. I don't know about the rest of you all, but I'm not getting away with this."

The blond sighed. "Well…might as well enjoy it while we can then. No use moping and worrying while we're away, and since we already did the deed."

"Woohoo!" Harry's voice was unmistakably heard.

Everyone looked to see Harry had climbed on top of the 40 feet of ice and was currently sliding down the expanse of it.

Needless to say, everyone was scrambling to try it out after that.

Started 1/6/16 – Completed 2/2/16

A/n: It's been a long while, but I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter anyway (sheepish). When I get to the next chapter, it should have a baby shower and probably some Victoria involved! Please remember to review!