A-N

So I'm back with a new story. This is a Remus is a father figure for Harry story. I have a general outline and plenty of time to write, so I'm posting the first chapter and will see how it's received! I do not have a beta, but would love one if anyone would like to do it! So please leave me feedback. It's almost a song fic, in bold is the lyrics to Angel by Sarah McLachlan I feel it fits with the story. It will not be there the whole story though if it becomes a long one! So please, comments, suggestions, flames (but hopefully not!) Enjoy!

"Come on! You can do better then that!" Harry was lying on the bed in the smallest bedroom at number 4 Privet Drive, reliving the night when his world had crashed around him. His godfather was gone; he had died all because Harry thought he was in danger, because of a vision Lord Voldemort had placed in his head. He had run to the ministry to try to save Sirius, placing himself and his friends in danger, and for what? Nothing. Sirius was the only family Harry had and now? Now he was gone, and it was all his fault.

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance

For the break that will make it OK

Harry couldn't help but think that at any moment Hedwig would come through the window with a letter from Sirius saying that he was working on getting Harry back to Grimmauld Place for the summer. But he knew it wouldn't happen… it was just wishful thinking.

There's always some reason to feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

Ever since that night Harry hadn't slept well. He kept having nightmares, the same one every night. He was back in the Department of Mysteries begging at the veil for Sirius to come back. Then Sirius would step out, but not the Sirius that Harry knew, but a Sirius that was mean and cruel. Sirius would start yelling at Harry for getting him killed, and then suddenly the scene would change and Harry would be back in the graveyard where Voldemort regained his body and he would see Cedric Diggory who would tell him how he never got a chance at life because of Harry. Then the dream would take a drastic turn for the worse; his mother and father would appear. They would talk about how much they had loved their life before they'd gone into hiding for Harry, how they should have just let Voldemort have him.

After every dream Harry would spend hours just staring at the ceiling thinking about his chronic nightmare and how true everyone in his nightmares was.

I need some distraction or a beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins. Let me be empty and

Weight less, and maybe I'll find some peace tonight

It was nearing on midnight and Harry was trying to keep from falling asleep, he knew if he fell asleep that the nightmares would come back and it was bad enough that the image of his godfather falling haunted him during the day

Suddenly he heard a pop come from outside his windows. Recognizing the sound of a wizard apparating Harry went to his windows to see a lone figure walking towards number 4 Privet Drive. As the figure approached he recognized that the person was Remus Lupin, his former DADA professor and his last remaining connection to his parents and Sirius.

Sirius. It was amazing how just thinking about Sirius could make him just breakdown. Harry mentally berated himself, it's your fault he died, don't feel sorry for yourself.

"Harry?" Harry turned around to see the skinny form of a worried Remus Lupin standing in his doorway. How'd he get up here so fast? Harry mused. "Hello Professor" Harry croaked, realizing these were the first words he'd spoken since he had returned from school.

Remus gave him a warm smile, "Harry, I'm not your teacher anymore, call me Remus" Harry gave him a half-hearted smile and sat down on his bed. "So Remus, What are you doing here? Everyone's ok right?" Remus's smile faltered, "As far as I know everyone's alright and seeing how I just left Headquarters I assume everything is fine. I came to see you and judging by how you look it seems like it was a good idea I came, Merlin Harry are you all right? You look like you haven't slept, eaten or even bathed for that matter." Harry looked down at the floor, it was true he hadn't left his room to eat or do anything, all he had done since he got home from school was lay on his bed staring at the ceiling.

"Harry? I know this has got to be hard on you, Merlin knows it's hard on everyone. Sirius was a brother to me, he was a father to you, he meant the world to both of us and I know he wouldn't have wanted you to lie around and feel guilty about his death Harry. He died fighting, fighting for someone he loved and a cause he believed in, he wouldn't have wanted to go any other way."

Seeing Harry hadn't even looked up from the floor,Remus came

and sat beside Harry on the bed, "Harry, I know I'm no Sirius and can never in a million years fill his shoes, but I want you to know I'm here for you. Ever since you were born I've considered you my cub. The ministry has regulations that state I can't have children, but when you were born, I felt that that regulation didn't apply to me, since I had you in my life. I tried so hard, so so hard to get custody of you when Lily and James died, but Dumbledore was convinced you would be better off here with your Aunt and Uncle.

You obviously need some help Harry, it's not good to hold everything in; Just tell me. I've lost so many people in this war Harry; I know how hard it is to lose someone. It's hard, but we must go on. I want you to be able to tell me how you're feeling, I can listen and understand."

Can I really tell him? Harry wondered, What if he thinks I'm a whiny little kid? Then I'll really lose any connection to my parents. Harry looked up at Remus; his amber eyes had so many emotions swirling in them. Harry could see that Remus truly cared for him and that no matter what he would stay by his side. Harry bowed his head down and returned to looking at the floor

"I just don't understand." Harry admitted. "Sirius was the only father figure I've ever had, I've already lost my parents, why Sirius?!" He could feel the tears falling down his face already. "I just.. I don't understand Remus!" The tears were falling quickly now and Harry looked up at Remus to see tears falling down his face too. "Why? He was all I had!" Harry sobbed.

"Oh Harry, it's ok cub." Remus opened his arms and Harry jumped into his arms and for the first time Harry could remember, he allowed someone to just hold him and give him the loving comfort he had always wanted. "It's a mystery why whatever force decides who lives and dies chooses who it chooses. But know that Sirius loved you and thought of you as his son and the greatest thing in the world." Harry began to sob huge sobs that wracked his skinny frame; He let out all the emotions he had been feeling since Sirius's death, everything he had been holding in. Remus just sat there with Harry in his arms rubbing his back and crying his own tears of sadness.

You're in the arms of the Angel; fly away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here

After awhile Harry's sobs subsided and he pulled out of the embrace. Remus looked down at Harry's tear stained face, "I miss him Remus" "I know cub, I do too." They stayed silent for a while until Harry broke the silence "Remus? Will you stay with me tonight? I think.. I think I need someone here." Remus smiled, "Of course I'll stay Harry." Harry smiled his first true smile in weeks and then fell into a deep sleep in the arms of Remus, his moony.

Please review and tell me how horrible or good it is!