Chapter Three

A Good Boy

"Stay still little birdy, I am going to control you, cutie-pie" The bird started to cry. "Ino-chan's here to play, Feather-san!"

Near the Nara Compound a nine year old blond haired, blue-eyed girl, practiced her daily Ninja techniques, in a place where she thought was a "Secret Training Ground." She wore a light blue shirt and a black collar around her neck.

Anyone watching would have noticed the confidence coming out of her like the rays of the golden sun, as well as her deep stupidity. "It's show time, Yippee!" she yelled, "I am a genius."The irony was that It had taken Ino months to finally get it right, and it probably wasn't a good idea to say such things aloud where anyone could easily hide in a tree and watch how the technique was performed.

After two years of sheer laziness Ino developed that oh so childish habit of saying how to perform her techniques because it helped her focus. "Right finger, up, let finger down."

Had she been paying more attention to her father's ravings about "keeping these family techniques a secret," rather than wondering how to impress "Sasuke-kuuuuuuuun," she probably would have noticed an invisible boy hiding in the bushes.

It wasn't like it was hard to spot a mop of furry blond hair in a green forest. Even if it was flashing on and off due to a certain Invisibility Jutsu.

"Okay, so I have to make the bird, then dog seal, then put my hands over my face and pull out my Chakra from my the Centre of my Inner Eye Chakra Gate and…" Ino continued, pushing out a string of Chakra out to a bird, called Feathers, and started taking possession of its motor control system.

For a brief moment she felt the bird struggle to regain control of its voluntary movements, but Ino slowly managed to bend it to her will, destroying a few cell bodies in its nerves due to Chakra overload. "Oh no I did it again!." She needed more practice with this ability because the birds were not supposed to know that there was an invader trying to take over the executive controls in their frontal lobes.

The hiding Naruto scoffed at how much time the girl needed to get this technique right, out of all the kids he spied on to stea-borrow Ninja moves, Yamanaka Ino had to be the slowest learner. "Dumb blond."

"Sorry dad, but I am going to be using the technique for something more useful," Ino snickered.

Her father told her she could use this ability to briefly enter the mind of an opponent and steal their knowledge."Why would I need to take possession of some enemy when I can steal a boyfriend, if I get good enough I can make Sasuke-kun and everyone else do whatever I want, hahaha!"

At the mention of stealing from her father, she further wondered if she could use this to cheat on tests, she never did like studying, why study when you could follow Sasuke around?

Let the forehead study Ninja dates and basic information about Chakra, she was in it for the real prize, the cutest little boy in the school. "This is going to free up so much time! Wait for me Sasuke-kuuun!"

"You are a example for all Kunoichi to follow, Ino-san." Uzumaki Naruto wasn't entirely sure how he stood in the forest every few weeks watching the girl perform her Mind Arts out loud, without ripping his blond hair out of his scalp and shoving it down his rectal chasm. "Dear kami, does she ever shut her mouth? If I have to hear Sasuke-kuuun one more time, I am going to shove a kunai down someone's epiglottis, and not in a good way."

"I'll show Sakura, I'll show them all!" The lass had an annoying tendency to rant about all the problems in her life, and most of them revolved around his annoying classmate. Sometimes she would continually scream "Why doesn't he like me!"

Then break down crying for hours, for no good reason whatsoever. "The girl is a whack job."

It didn't help that Sasuke had been even more of a show off after their battle three years ago. Naruto still couldn't believe the bastard remembered that. He now went out of his way to beat Naruto even in simple paper tests in which Naruto was starting to become very proficient at. "Sorry Sasuke, I won again. Keep trying, you're not gonna get a higher score in math, I've been budgeting since I was six."

At this rate he would beat Sakura in the Academic Departments soon, taking the title of the "smartest in the class" -that is if Iruka started answering some of the questions he had trouble with.

Over the years Naruto found out that it was hard to get anyone to tell him anything and he forced himself to start using the Pervert's technique more and more.

Transparency Jutsu turned out to be a lot more useful than he originally thought it would be. "Not only can I peep on people, I can do it while walking." At first he was tempted to use it to sneak into places to steal things like food, but he recalled that if he went anywhere with too many Ninjas, they would sniff him out right away when he had such huge Chakra reserves, making him a living daytime lantern. "It was hard learning to hide my signature."

He learned what Chakra reserves were a few months after the Hinata kidnapping and had to find a way to conceal his presence, he was more than a little surprised to discover he had as much power as a Jounin, and voiced it often, "So can I learn some A ranked techniques, Suzume-sensei?"

He confronted this problem to Kiba's mother and she gave him some advice on how to suppress his Chakra. Basically she told him, "Hold onto your reserves kid, and don't let go. People can sense you by the miniscule amounts that come off the human body, so just latch onto the Chakra that naturally comes out from the endocrine pores of your skin, if you don't want to be found. Now show me that Invisibility Jutsu, punk!"

Tsume had heard from Kakashi that. "The Cloud Ambassador almost killed the boy after sniffing out his large Chakra reserves." She figured it might not be a bad idea to give some hints on how to hide it. He wouldn't make much of a Ninja if he couldn't sneak up on people.

It had taken him the better part of one year to get it right, and another year before he could affectively sneak into most places without being noticed.

It helped that Naruto's life was a struggle every single day. Just getting food was a problem because the groceries would charge him an insane amount of money for items, not to mention clothing cost him more than he could spend. "6,000 yen for a sock? Fuck you!" Resulting in him always wearing the same white shirt with a spiral and orange pants.

As a consequence of this mistreatment he learned to make his Henge better than it was before, in order to transform himself into a different person, giving himself a double identity. "Naruko-chan version 1.0." Which lead to him being hit on by various perverts.

Using this continuously over the past few years in combination with Transparency Jutsu allowed him access to a whole new world he had never knew existed, though he tried to avoid the Red light districts. "Hey Naruko-chan, you looking for a good time?" Aside from this he got to watch how the villagers treated everyone else when he wasn't there and saw that overall, they weren't bad people.

But something he learned frightened him.

"That demon was near my kids again, I wish someone would have the nerve to just kill him." They always talked about a certain demon that dwelled in the village. Naruto voiced his worry when he heard stories about it. "I sure hope I don't meet that monster they keep whispering about."

Something else he learned was that they didn't have that dark cloud hanging over their heads or that veil of rage coming off them like a mist of poisonous miasma. In fact they were almost like the story book characters he read about in the library. They all acted like typical village, if he wasn't around that is. "Weird."

That was another thing that changed since he had learned the Transparency Jutsu, he could sneak into the library and read.

Read as much as he wanted to, without anyone trying to kick him out! "I am learning a lot these days, though I don't think Suzume-sensei would be too proud of me."

With this knowledge he could learn more about Chakra right?

He could become a better Ninja? Learn Basic Sealing?

There was suddenly a new dimension of possibilities for him to grab onto and his future potential was limitless…the problem was Uzumaki Naruto ended up following the Toad Hermit into the Konoha Library, finding a section intended for adults, nasty kinky, degenerate adults.

"Oh god my eyes, I shouldn't look…well, just a peek." He thought the older man was going to search for Jutsu scrolls hidden in the library. Wrong thought.

The pervert must have learned his techniques from somewhere secretive because Suzume-sensei told him, "There isn't any Jutsu that can turn you invisible Naruto, or at least I don't think there is. There is this rumor going around that Jiraiya of the Senin does pop out of nowhere in the Bathing House, but I don't put too much stock into these things."

Realizing Naruto just kept staring at her chest she dismissed him with a sigh, "Now run along and practice that Body Switch, you are doing better than anyone else in the class in that Jutsu by far." That got a smile from the blond. "I want to see you develop some styles with it, Mister. If you get your scores up in Taijutsu and the written, you might have a shot at passing this year, even if you can't do a clone."

Sadly when Naruto followed the Pervert using Invisible Mode, all it did was lead him to a hidden section in the library called Adult Arts which contained nothing but-

"Yahoo! I got it! I did it! Take that birdy!" Ino danced, somewhat running around in a circle adjacent to the screaming bird, who looked like it had its head caved in. The girl was sure full of energy. Her shouts getting more birds to take to the skies in the dense green forest. "Who is the girl! I am!"

This reaction brought Naruto's focus from his musings and back to the short haired fangirl.

"Ha! Now I know something Sakura doesn't, she'll be really jealous when she hears about it! Oh wait I can't tell her, then I can't cheat off her, grr! But I have to show this off to someone. Darn it! Who? I know I'll try this out on Shikamaru!"

With that the blond girl ran towards the Nara Compound, hoping to use her moves on the Nara heir. "Thank Kami I am not your friend, Ino. With friends like you who needs giant nine tailed beasts haunting your nightmares." He really didn't like that sneering fox that appeared in his dreams.

As she was gone Naruto turned off his invisibility to take a look at his surroundings. Closing his eyes he sensed out if anyone was nearby. He sighed,"Hurry up and get out of the area, blondie."

This was one of the basics of Ninjutsu that Tsume had showed him. In order to hide one's own Chakra the Ninja had to know how to detect the Chakra of others, she explained, "Know what your enemies feel like and you'll have a better guess of what you must feel like to them."

However Naruto was far from an expert at this and the busty Inuzuka even confessed he would never be good at it. "You suck balls." It took a certain level of training and control to sense Chakra from far off distances.

"Do I sense an animal, no wait that's just an old man crawling." At best Naruto would know if anyone within a 10 m radius was around, anything more than that could be anyone's guess.

"Sorry Ino, you're not the only one who knows your family Jutsu. I still can't believe you didn't notice that someone was watching you all this time. I didn't even hide my foot prints the first day." Naruto grimaced, seeing the bird Ino mind raped earlier. "I thought you were a nice person after seeing how you befriended Sakura that day. But you don't seem to be much of an animal lover, no?"

Naruto walked around the screaming bird flaying in the ground. Every time Ino practiced on another organism the creature would die a few moments later. "For what it's worth I am sorry she did this." Ino didn't seem to care one bit about the animals whose souls she invaded, she was extremely forceful and brutal when it came to practice.

For some reason that made Naruto angry.

Wildlife was precious. Without nature the people of Konoha would have a hard time existing, he had learned in class about the delicate balances between the ecosystems and how all various types of organisms were required to keep the environment in balance."That's why the Abarume rock."

He started pumping Chakra through his body to get ready to do the repulsive technique that was a complete and utter invasion of moral decency. "Don't worry, I'll put this ability to better use than just seeing how much force it takes to control the Uchiha teme or cheating on tests."

Naruto's hands formed the same seals the other more exuberant blond made moments ago, unlike Ino Naruto had memorized word for word all the hand seals in his texts. "You didn't even do the dog seal correctly, baka."

Although his Chakra control was nowhere near the collared girls, he already knew that the hand seals this technique used required more push with Chakra, than pull, and Naruto had enough Chakra to waste, and wasting Chakra trying to get it right wasn't a big deal to him. "Alright let's do this, brain don't fail me now."

He took in a deep breath and shouted the name of the Mind Art, directing it to a nearby squirrel. "Shintenshin no Jutsu!"

"Comeback here!" Mikoto shouted, running into the forest hoping to catch the person who peeked on her, an infiltrator who had tried to sneak into her section of the Compound.

Earlier she felt something was off when she sensed a strange Chakra signature near the edges of her outdoor tub. She was taking a nice soak in the large hot pool when her female senses told her she was being watched. "You can run all you want but I will catch you, nephew Tsukasa!"

Tonight her husband and the rest of the Uchiha Clan were going to invade Konoha. The Elders were having their meeting this moment and soon everyone was going to get ready to attack.

An hour ago she decided to take one last soak in her house before the invasion began, she figured this would be the last time she would ever enjoy this luxury.

"I am going to miss this place," she told herself moments before the chase. The curvy dark haired mother wished it didn't have to come down to this, but understood that this was an inevitable conclusion that was a result of plans made long before she was born.

Many of the Uchiha Clan members knew that this would probably destroy them all, but the chance that they might be able to get what was theirs was all the reason they needed to initiate this unrest.

"Wait a minute." She then thought of something that didn't occur to her until now. "Where is Itachi, I sent him out to get milk last Tuesday, what in Kami's name is taking him so long?"

She hadn't seen her son for the past few days and wondered if Itachi was alright, the boy had a terrible sense of direction, but it couldn't have taken him that long to get dairy products. As she pondered those thoughts in the pool of warm bubbly water, covering her silky smooth skin, she had a sinking feeling that someone or something was spying on her.

"Why do I get the feeling someone is watching me?" she whispered. Mikoto threw a bucket at where she thought the infiltrator was and she heard a groan of pain, it didn't take her long to put on some bath robes and chase after the running sounds. "Ha! I knew it-oh dear he saw me naked! Kyaa! Hentai!"

Embarrassed and mollified at being peeked on by an unknown person, most likely a little Uchiha Tsukasa, her curious nephew, as it was their compound. She ran after the person, screaming at him to stop. "You'll never get away with this! You can't keep peeking on your aunts Uchiha Tsukasa. I swear I'm going to tell your mother! Come back here!"

"Damn it All! I didn't even get a good look." Naruto had no idea who this "Tsukasa" was, but the orphan Uzumaki should've known that something like this was bound to happen when he got a bit curious. He cursed himself for falling into his weakness. "Darn it, I'm turning into a peeping tom! What's happening to me?"

He had originally followed one of the children into the Uchiha Compound hoping to steal a few Jutsus, but quickly found out there would be no practicing that day. It seemed like all the kids were being taken by their parents and gathered in groups, where they were lead by some old Clan members into a safe house, or at least that was what it looked like.

Feeling like it was all a waste of time, but trying to salvage the trip, he decided to go to Sasuke's house if only to play a prank on the annoying boy. Moments ago he smiled evilly thinking about the presents he could leave in the boy's room. "Call me a loser will you? We'll see who is the loser when you find yourself sleeping in manure, deep-shit."

He tried to sneak into the black haired boy's house by jumping his fence and found himself on the edges of a large outdoor hot tub. "Sasuke sure is rich, nice tub." That normally wouldn't have interested him, but Sasuke's bouncy mother just happened to be inside it. "I shouldn't be looking at this. Suzume-sensei said I should respect women's privacy, whatever the hell that means, and I would be just as bad as that Toad Pervert if I looked at her, but still…"

To nine year old Uzumaki Naruto who had recently started having a fascination for the female anatomy- blame it on library porn-this was a forbidden fruit he just couldn't resist. "I'll just look a little, no one has to know. I'm not hurting anyone, am I? this is perfectly natural, isn't it?"

Now, as a result, he found himself being chased into the Uchiha Forest with an angry mother in tow.

She screamed, "Young man you are going to be in so much trouble! Wait-slow down Mister, don't make me send Itachi after you!"

That made Naruto run even faster, he knew exactly who Itachi was, everyone did, he stuttered worse than before. "I b-better get out of here. Stupid! What kind of idiot risks his life peeking on his enemies gorgeous mother, wait that didn't come out right. Especially when her son happens to be one of the strongest Ninja in the village. I'm an idiot!"

"I should know better," he chided, forcing his feet to push off more Chakra and hopping to a nearby tree.

This wasn't the first time Naruto was chased by a Ninja and he was certain this was not going to be the last. "Please Kami let me make it through the night. I'm not a bad person, really."

Many times before, more experienced Genin would discover they were being watched and went out of their way to hunt down the what they would angrily refer to as the "spy, who is watching me," forcing Naruto to think strategically on evasion tactics and "running the hell out of there."

Currently he zigzagged around the forest, through trees, under bushes, and compressed his Chakra so that it would be more difficult to find where he was. "This is tough."

By remaining invisible it made it much harder for the mother to track him down, but that didn't stop her from yelling at him to slow down. "Tsukasa, I swear to Kami you've picked the absolute worst time to do this. I'm not going to stop hunting you until I get you back to your mother, do you hear me! Tsukasa!"

"I'm in for a long chase," Naruto panted, seeing the moon rising in the dark sky, "Still, where the hell are the other adults? Weird, most other Compounds have at least one or two guards patrolling the area. So what the hell is going on?"

"Aunt Mikoto is getting really angry! Young man, I am going to start getting serious if you don't stop this foolishness," Sasuke's mother shouted. She herself had retired a long time ago and found she just wasn't as fast as she used to be. "Oh dear, I must have put on some weight."

Sweat poured down her forehead and her hands were already wiping it off, it didn't help that the night was particularly warm, meaning that it was most likely going to rain soon. "I'll start firing, you know I will."

Naruto really didn't like the idea of being set on atomic combustion, the thought of flames consuming his body only made him jump higher and higher onto the trees, channeling enough Chakra through his legs to give away his position, but he didn't care, he had to get away.

He grunted when he hit a branch. "Ouch! This is so not my night. I'm never coming here again!"

"We have to get back to the Compound, I am going to give you till the count of five, and I'll start the Katons. One, two," she shouted, scanning for her nephew."Three, four…forget it, my patience is running out. Katon: Phoenix Spitfire! "

Mikoto started shooting streams of flames out from her mouth, causing the culprit to run in directions away from the flame. She smiled at her own genius. "I'll force you back to the Compound, then we'll have a little talk nephew-kun."

"Oh shit!" Naruto shouted, running back to the Compound. "Is being hidden worth being burnt alive?" A flashback of seeing Jiraiya bruised and half dead outside the bathing house when he was caught came to the surface of his conscious. "On second thought, burns suddenly don't seem so bad?"

Mikoto chased the orphan back to her home, not realizing how late it was.

When she finally sensed the peeping tom enter the Compound she sighed in relief and made a move to apprehend him. "Come over here! I am fed up of this game, Tsukasa. You have to get to the safe house, or you could be ki-,"

She didn't get to finish those words, or even bother chasing down the invisible blond who was running down the bloody streets, because the streets were just that: bloody. "W-what happened!"

"Kana-san," she screamed seeing the corpse of her Great Aunt headless on the side walk, it looked like they had opened the door to greet someone, and the shocked look on the face of the head indicated that they did not suspect whoever it was who killed them to slice their heads off. "Who could have done this! Who?"

A half a mile away another boy was having his own difficulty, he was desperate to leave this place, especially after seeing all the dead bodies lining the streets. "I got to get out of here! There is probably some kind of monster on the loose, chopping people's heads off."

It was then that Naruto came upon a scene that he was sure that he didn't belong in.

Walking out toward the Compound exit was Uchiha Itachi sheathing his bloody Katana. The Uzumaki already pieced together what probably happened from the trail of blood behind the teen, but what Naruto was uncertain about were the tears in his eyes. "Why is he crying? Is he sad for killing all these people?"

" Wait!" Sasuke shouted, flinging a few Shurinkan at his older brother. "Come back here, Oni-san!"

Itachi stopped the weapons with his head band, which fell to the ground, and turned back to face his little brother. Naruto was astonished at the expression the teenager had. "Heart break, longing, pain, anguish…and hesitation? He just killed everyone here, and it's tearing him apart. But why not kill Sasuke? Isn't this what he wanted? This way there would be no witnesses."

The crying Sasuke then looked up at his brother and slowly lost consciousness, falling into a deep sleep. "Ni-chan don't…"

At this point Itachi got down to the boy's level and checked his pulse. His spinning eyes stopped spinning, but continued to bleed red so he wiped off the tears from his face.

He turned to face the blond in the shadows. His voice was but a whisper but Naruto felt like it was as clear as crystal and three times as loud, he said, "Uzumaki, I would advise you to never speak what you have seen today, ever." Naruto yelped when he heard those words. "If you value your life then wipe this memory from your mind." His eyes continued to bleed crimson and his Sharingan started to disappear back to his normal black. "Sadly I am out of Mind Erase Jutsu at the moment, perhaps I have used too much Chakra tonight."

"I am not Naruto, I just sound like him," the blond boy lied from the shadows, his heart feeling like it was going to explode and precipitate into the surroundings, he continued, "But I won't tell what I saw, I swear! You have to believe me. I'm good at keeping secrets. I'm already keeping one. Don't kill me! Please believe me!"

"What kind of secret could you be keeping?" he whispered. Despite the situation, Itachi was curious what the cowardly blond's secret was, but he could already sense reinforcements coming. "I will hold you to it, Naruto-kun. I have heard things about you from my brother." Naruto had a bad feeling about this. "You seem to be good friends with him."That actually got a raised eyebrow from Naruto, which was rare. " It would be wonderful if we didn't have to meet under such difficult circumstance but as you can see making conversation is not in my agenda at this moment."

Naruto made no comment on that.

"For your sake let us hope our paths never cross, and watch out for Sasuke, there is more to this evening then you know."

Naruto didn't want to tell him that he actually hated Sasuke and it would give a small amount of pleasure to watch Itachi skewer the boy with his katana, but he kept his mouth shut. He stuttered out a response hoping to buy some time for the Anbu to arrive, "Y-yes! Right. Me and Sasuke go way back. We are great friends, umm, best friends. Sure. Don't hurt me!"

Itachi was already channeling energy through his legs to make for a high speed dash, but decided he needed to say one more thing to the blond. "Naruto-kun, be careful. There are things at work in this village that are already trying to manipulate you".

Then his voice became darker." Remember that the Third will not always be here to protect you. When that day comes, your world will crumble. Be prepared for that moment. Fare ye well, Uzumaki."

Itachi put on an all too familiar fox mask on his face and leaped into the darkness of the forest.

It would be years before anyone from Konoha would see him again.

When he was gone Naruto dropped to the ground, letting go of the breath he was holding.

At first he was relieved that he survived this but then realized something hidden behind his message. He snarled in anger and confusion, " I already have enough to deal with in this two faced village. This better not have something to do with that demon people are not allowed to talk about. And me and Sasuke? Give me a break! What is that guy talking abou-,"

"Sasuke sweetie. Where are you, baby? It's not safe outside."

"I forgot Sasuke's mother is chasing me! What do I do?" Naruto cursed. He ran up to check on his classmate, a plan already forming in his mind, remembering that he was still being hunted by a beautiful thirtyish woman. "Damn it all! What does this all mean! Is his brother just messing with me? Really, everyone in this village is trying to screw with my mind, well good! They can all go screw themselves!"

Shaking his head he let his thoughts become clearer, he mumbled, "I'll think about all this later, right now I have to convince Sasuke's mom that I saved the idiot. Why was Itachi so concerned about me and Sasuke? Best friend my ass, the arrogant fool doesn't like anyone, let alone the former Dobe." Naruto didn't like being manipulated.

He went up to Sasuke and carried him in his small arms. Naruto noticed he weighed less than him.

Uzumaki wondered when it was that he outweighed Sasuke but he didn't get a chance to ponder that question because It was just in that time that he was able to see his mother come out from the corner of a building, her long hair wet from sweat, her skin flushed.

Despite this she still managed to look good. Understandably her voice sounded hysterical, she squeaked, "Is he alright? My poor baby isn't hurt is he?"

"Yes, he's just fine. No need to worry Mikoto-san," Naruto lied, thinking how the boy looked to be on the edge of insanity before he fell asleep. What did he think he was going to do with a few Shurinkan? Did he really expect to beat Itachi like that? "I saved him before Itachi could kill him."

For a second Naruto hoped the Weasel wasn't in the bushes listening to this. He even looked both ways for a sword that might chop his head off.

Before Naruto knew what was happening he found himself being crushed in a pair of naked breasts, with nice pink nipples coming from the centers. The orphan just realized that half her fluffy white robes had come undone and she was naked underneath. "You are so brave!"

Sasuke's mother hugged him close, pushing his small face into her large pale melons and Naruto started sniffing the vanilla scent "Mmm, boobs." He registered that they were the color of ivory milk chocolate. Her full lips were spitting words faster than he ever thought possible from the noble woman. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I wouldn't know what I would do if he was gone. I owe you so much, Uzumaki-san. You saved my darling, what could I ever do to repay you?"

Before Naruto could reply he felt himself fall into the ground and watched the mother pick up her son, and embrace him. The blond damned his fortune. "Sasuke gets all the luck." Then shut up , hoping Mikoto didn't hear that, it would make him sound slightly petty to complain that he wasn't getting the attention he deserved. "But she did say she owes me."

"You had better leave before the Anbu get here," Mikoto said, her pasty skin shining in the moonlight, "They will want to know why you were here. Please go and come and see me if you need anything, Naruto-kun."

No one needed to tell Naruto to run, he was a runner by nature and bolted in the first sight of trouble. Some deeper voice in his head told him that he shouldn't have lied like that. "I am such a coward. But at least I get to live."

This place had Doomsday written all over it and he didn't want to be here when the shit hit the fan, no pun intended. He scowled thinking how messed up the night was. "I have a feeling things are never going to be the same again. But it isn't like this is my problem, what does this matter to me. It isn't like Sasuke plays a big role in my life or anything, right?"

Even though he was running out of there as fast as his small legs could take him he looked back one last time, seeing the older woman hugging her son, sobbing until her tear ducts were empty, and screaming "thank Kami!" to the heavens for letting her "precious angel!" survive this massacre.

A part of him felt that green beast called envy growing inside of him. It took the form of a lustful wish for someone to smother him as well.

"What a waste of time. I shouldn't have come here, " he said. After all he has been through that night in the end he gained nothing, to him it was all a zero sum race that only resulted in an inevitable conclusion. One that was always against his favor.

His eyes narrowed tragically thinking about it, then darkened. "It's just not fair. Why me? I try so hard, I work harder for appreciation more than anyone else in this village, but I am all alone. Always alone."

Rain poured down the rooftops and onto the grounds of the Inuzuka Compound. Tsume normally didn't pay attention to such details, but the problem was that one of the tiles were broken. It was the only explanation as to why her living room had water dripping from the ceiling. "Grr, lousy contractors! One of these days I am going to find that bastard Tazuna and give him a piece of my-,"

A pounding knock at her door alerted her that someone was outside. She got off the the floor, putting another bowl on the ground to catch the rain. "Better not be anyone important, like hell I want anyone to see we have leaks. Kiba better not bring over Chouji, that kids momma is a huge gossip."

As she got closer to the door the knocks became louder and more impatient. She sniffed out whoever was outside but found it difficult because of the rain outside. A lightning bolt hit the background making her hearing ring violently for a second. "Shouldn't have put so much Chakra into these ears, could have burst my ear drums when the bolt hit."

"Alright hold on, I am opening the door. What do ya wan-," she said, barely catching the little wet person run into the house foyer, shaking like a jitterbug. "Naruto?"

The blond looked up at the mature woman while panting for breath. He appeared more afraid than she had ever seen him in her life.

Over the years the boy would occasionally come over when Kiba wasn't around, sometimes he would say one or two words. Other times he would ask for simple advice, and on awkward occasions, he would come here to take a bath his excuse being, "I missed they Hydro bill and they cut out my water."

"What happened? Kid?" Tsume asked, "You don't look so hot."

"D-dead, the Uchiha are dead," Naruto said, holding his heart. Tsume could hear it without having to use her Jutsu, something was wrong. "Itachi killed them. Beheaded them all!"

Tsume wasn't sure what to say. This had to be one of the worst jokes she had ever heard or something serious was going down in the other side of Konoha. "Naruto have you been taking drugs?"

"What? No! Didn't you hear what I said, they are dead! As in not alive! Corpses! They are bloody cadavers!" Uzumaki shouted, his eyes shifting everywhere, looking left and right. "Are the Anbu following me?"

Tsume sighed and tried to sense anyone in the immediate vicinity, she dripped Chakra into her ear channel and made her ear drums pick up any sounds that were unusual. "No, nothing out of the ordinary, except Kuro humping a dead animal. He'll probably eat it later."

"Good," Naruto sighed in relief, though slightly mortified seeing a mental picture of the necrophilia/ bestiality scene. "I was afraid they might ask me questions."

"What is wrong with that? It isn't like your hiding anything." This got a nervous laugh from the blond. "You just tell'em what you saw and they'll leave ya alone," the mother said, shaking her head at the boy's worry but not believing a word coming out of his mouth. "Go get in the shower. Put on some hot water before you catch a cold. I'll meet you there and you can tell me what happened."

After doing just that Tsume came in wearing a cozy white towel.

It didn't do much to cover her shame because the towel was more specifically wrapped around her brown hair. She sat on the stool behind the boy and lifted a bucket of warm water, splashing it on his head. "Okay, you have some explaining to do, Naruto-kun."

The orphan did just that. He recounted the nights events. "And then she told me to run. I did the right thing didn't I?"

"Hmm, that is a tricky question," Kiba's mom replied, "There are a few gaps in your story that you're aren't telling me, and I'm no interrogation expert, kiddo. I guess Mikoto-chan knew that you were doing something that you shouldn't be doing, or that she might have some doubtful reasons to believe in your heroic rescue of Sasuke." Naruto scowled, he thought it was a good lie. "If I were in your shoes I probably wouldn't have saved him and that rumor about how you stopped that Cloud Ninja is a bit fishy, so already you're a pretty suspicious character."

"I keep telling you, I didn't do anything. I just happened to be there at the right time to distract him," he grumbled, but purred when the woman stroked his back, it felt remarkably warm. "But now I get Ninjas I've never met before congratulating me when I walk down the street." That made his eyes light up. "Can you believe it? I can go into the Ninja store and actually buy things. I even got a discount on Shurinkan."

"Hold still, there some dandruff here, " Tsume grumbled, somewhat jealous of the softness of his fluffy hair, but still disgusted by how little hygiene he maintained. "How often do you take a bath anyway? It looks like something crawled into your hair and died."

"That isn't fair, they cut off my water again," he mumbled, "I took a shower in the wood's waterfall, I thought it was a good idea because I didn't want to keep coming back here."

"Look Naruto, the only people who seem to live here nowadays is me and Kiba, and you know how often Kiba comes home," she growled, thinking about her less than loving son. "He's always too busy playing with Akamaru, and visiting his sister's animal clinic."

"Couldn't he train here?" Naruto asked, "This place has a lot of empty spaces."

"It sure does but he/d prefer to spend some time in Shino's place, there're a lot more people there for him to hang around," she said, brushing off some stray brown strands from her spiky head, while removing her towel. "It gets pretty lonely here."

"Don't you have lots of friends, Tsume-san? You're a nice person," Naruto admitted, feeling slightly red. It was embarrassing saying polite things to someone, especially when they weren't wearing anything. "What about Hizashi? He is a friend isn't he?"

"Hizashi is stuck in that gigantic temple called the Branch House, I told you he's more or less a servant," the brunette complained, "When he has spare time he has to use it to train Neji. Cute kid, I would have hated to see what he would have grown up to be if they actually killed his father."

"Wait I know Neji! He is a year ahead of me, he walks Hinata-san home," the container realized, "He keeps glaring at me when Hinata looks my way. There is nothing adorable about him."

"Twin brothers, kiddo. Technically he is the half brother of Hinata-chan," the Inuzuka smirked, "Maybe he is afraid that his half-sister has fallen for her savior."

"W-what!" Naruto stuttered, turning around to see the chuckling lady. "What are you talking about!"

"Hmm, I guess I'm just talkin' nonsense, you're way too little for those games," she sneered, "You have so much to learn, little grasshopper."

"I know more than you think," he mumbled. "I think already know too much."

"What was that you said? Sorry I keep forgetting these super sensitive ears can pick up the smallest vibrations of sounds," she said, turning to the boy around to face her, getting him to blush seeing her body naked. "Oh grow up, this isn't the first time we've taken a bath together." She winked. "Remember that time you sucked on my-,"

"Okay! Please stop, don't say it! I was seven," he whined, looking so ashamed of himself. "How was I supposed to know what I was doing. You have to believe me, I didn't know how wrong that was! I am not a perver-,"

"Whoa relax, don't get so defensive," the mother interjected, laughing at his haste. "I know you weren't thinking. Hell neither was I. I was just trying to ruffle your feather's Naruto-kun, you're a good kid, don't let anyone tell ya otherwise."

"Oh, well, for what it's worth, sorry about that," the blond replied, his head swimming with the blood rushing to his head. Tsume really knew how to massage a scalp, she wasn't a mother for nothing. "It's just that I have been doing some reading lately and I found out what it was that I did. I thought that you would have taken it personally, you know because it is something adults do when they have sex-,"

"What did you just say," Tsume said, dropping the shampoo bottle she was holding. Her face went slightly pale, "You have been reading what now?"

"It was an accident, really," Naruto defended, "I followed this Ninja thinking that he was going to show me a stash of Jutsu, but it turned out to be naked girls doing things to other naked girls, and stuff like that."

Tsume's mind was already rolling up ideas of what Naruto must be thinking. "How long have you been reading this?"

"Not long," Naruto tried to say, feeling the awkwardness grow, "Just the last year or so, that's all. At first I was scared, you know when we first met you told me about those two places that fit together in a man and woman's body? Well I wanted to know how they fit together, and why. But after I got over the fear, well, what the characters were doing started to pull me in." Tsume sighed. "Even though I knew it was kind of wrong to look at stuff like that."

"Naruto, you didn't," Tsume warned but she was actually joking, she continued, "And after all the time Suzume told you not to look at smut like that. Oh how disappointed little Miss Four eyes would be."

"I was curious! I couldn't help but know more," Naruto answered, he felt himself start to sweat from his pores, his cheeks filling up red. "No one told me to stop. There wasn't anyone around, I didn't know any better. I was seven, Tsume-san, seven! There wasn't anything good to read at the library, it turns out you can't just walk into the library and find the secret to being a strong Ninja, all I got were glares from the librarians, that was it." His voice became louder. "It wasn't so bad last year, I didn't read that much. But I just turned nine, and well, things just haven't been the same. I can't help but start looking at girls, I just feel so-,"

"Lonely."

"I-I ," Naruto tried to finish but the truth always has a way of coming out. "Yes."

"It happens. You're growing up and things look confusing. What you used to think was okay suddenly doesn't seem like such a good idea. As you get older the things you could do in the past, you'll have to let go. " She rubbed his back. "Like right now, we are taking a bath together, in a year that'll have to stop because not only will you start to look at girls, you'll start to look at the women as well," the mother said, turning Naruto to face her. The Uzumaki's eyes, travelled up and down her olive colored body. Tsume continued, "Already you are starting to look at me differently then you did when we first met aren't you?" Naruto nodded. "Three years ago when you came here what were you looking for?"

"I don't know," Naruto said, his blue eyes never leaving Tsume's own. "I was curious. I saw you naked. At the time I hadn't seen anything like that. At first I thought you were in pain, but then realized that you weren't, don't ask me how, I guess it was just instinct." His instincts were telling him to hug her right now. "There's still a lot that I don't know but I'm willing to learn."

"This isn't something I want to be teaching you, Naruto-kun," Tsume said, internally laughing at the seriousness of the situation, but she felt herself sobering at this bit of info as well. "When the time comes you'll know what to do when you meet the right girl." Tsume became more serious. "I think you should hold off with the smut for now, you are too young for this game. The games we adults play are not something to taken lightly, most of the time it ends with no winners or losers, all we can really hope for is how long we can keep it up."

"I don't get it," Naruto whispered, eyeing the spiky brown bush where Tsume's flower lay underneath. He really wanted to see it, that thing he read about called the "female reproductive system." "I don't understand these feelings. I want to look at girls naked, more and more, see their private parts." Here he didn't want to say anything, but he had to let it out. "Kami, I even took a peek at Sasuke's mom! It just keeps growing, is there something wrong with me? I mean even the characters I read in those stories of Icha Icha are at least fifteen years old. They aren't some nine year old freak spying on unsuspecting women!"

There was something wrong with the boy, Tsume knew it for a while. Perhaps that was where his attraction lay. There are few things more gripping than a struggling martyr, on a quest to battle all the pain and suffering that covered their world. To a mother like Tsume seeing a child suffer hurt a lot, she couldn't understand how any other mom could look at the boy and not see a little baby who needed a bit of love.

It could have been any one of their children that day the Kyuubi attacked, but it wasn't. Instead it was this orphan who resembled little Uzumaki Kushina the more he grew, not in looks but in personality. He may not have been rash or chaotic, but he had the same spunk and energy very few people every displayed in his age, along with a fierceness to learn that surpassed anything she had seen before.

She knew he had been sneaking into the Compounds of the other clans and watching their children perform Jutsus. It was a dangerous game he was playing and she was sure someday this would come back to bite him in the ass, but she let it go.

How many other Ninja students his age went out of their way to obtain knowledge like he did? None! Not a single person was willing to break the law to get ahead, risk everything just so that they would have a better shot at being a Shinobi.

What this told Tsume was the man he would one day grow up to be. Uzumaki Naruto was as devilish as they came at the age of 9, what would bhee be like when he was 12, 14, 16?

Only time would tell, but that was alright, she had enough time to spare. Someday he would show everyone what kind of mistake they had been making treating him the way he was treated right now, the only downside was she hoped she would be alive to see that day.

"What are you thinking, Tsume-san," Naruto asked, he put his hands on her cheek, and turning her to look him in the eye, "You told me not to think too much, but here you are looking all sad."

"Sorry, I just have a little something in my eye," she said, suddenly finding the urge to hug the blond, the blond not sure what to do hugged her back. His head was cupped between her large breasts, "You are pretty brave Naruto, did I ever tell you that?"

"No, you told me I am stupid," he said, he found his arms wrap around her wet body more firmly, she was getting warmer, her heart beating faster. "But sometimes I do stupid things."

"You know I know you have been keeping an eye on you right?" she asked him, "I know you have been stealing techniques and I haven't told the Hokage anything, don't you?"

"Yes," he answered, then looked down, his face sliding deeper between her large chest. Feeling his eyes start to water. "I know, it's just I don't have a choice, Tsume-san, the first test is coming up. I-I have to pass it this time. After this year Suzume-sensei will be gone, and I don't think Iruka will let me be a Genin when I am only nine, so this is my only chance."

The Uzumaki Naruto of nine years was much heavier than he was when he was six, and at least a foot taller as well, she wondered, 'Kids sure grow fast," while picking him up so that he wrapped his legs around her naked waste as well.

She was suddenly glad he wore that white towel, because she could feel herself heating up, and she sensed him warm up. The mother already suspected what was coming.

"Tsume-san, did you know I like you?" Naruto said, hiding his face in her large bosom.

"Yes."

"Did you know I really, really like you," he said, his voice cracking, "I know you're lonely, I can do some things. I read about them, I-,"

"Naruto don't say another word," she said, "We really shouldn't talk about this, kiddo, maybe in a few more years, but not right now."

"I am not big right now, but I'll get taller, you'll see," he pleaded, "It is just that I don't want you to go away. You're the only friend I have."

"I won't go anywhere, I am 30ish old woman, with two kids," she said cynically, "Oh yeah! I am a real catch! I'll get married and move far away."

"You are a nice person, it's the inside that counts, not that I'm saying your ugly because you are really pretty, oh, I am bad at this. " He stuffed his blushing face in her chest. "You know what I mean, don't you?"

"Not to everyone, kid," she said, patting him on his fuzzy head while his hands started to feel up her naked body. This reminded her of that one hentai comic she read about. "I don't like most people. Humans can be pretty cruel to each other, you make a mistake and no one lets you forget it." An image of little Anko went through her mind. "Folks aren't nice in this village Naruto-kun, they are just actors, pretenders, liars, and chronic masturbators." Kakashi's face popped up in her conscious. "This lifestyle just brings you further into a dimension of taboo and debauchery and don't even get me started about the morals of half the population of this village, did you know we have a Jashin Church hidden underground, holy shit, how fucked up is that?" Naruto had no idea what that meant. "There really aren't any good people left in this shit hole." A flashback of Danzo went through her mind. "Yeah, real shitholes."

"You're wrong Tsume-san, you're a good mom. When your husband left you didn't just abandon your kids, I lived in an orphanage all my life and I've seen it happen all the time," he said, "If I had a mom like you I'd be happy. Kiba and Hana are lucky, believe me I haven't seen any other moms so active in their kid's lives, not even Sasuke's, not only do you cook and take care of this place, but you train them too."

"That is great kid, real sweet, but Kiba doesn't seem to think so," she sighed, "Hana doesn't even seem to like me that much either. You talk about the great things I do but when your kids just end up stabbing you in the back then what does that tell you about the person's parenting skills?"

"You don't deserve that," he said, he pulled his face out of her chest long enough to get a good look at her chocolate colored body, and directing his slitted blue irises to her own. Tsume was touched at the care he had in his eyes, his sea blue eyes, so deep it was like falling into the depths of an endless ocean. "If it were me…"

"…this might be an awkward question, but you are not going to kill my kids are ya?" she asked uncomfortably, Naruto still enveloped around her larger, more voluminous figure. "I mean that's flattering and all but this is usually the part where things go to hell and you start making plans to kill off my loved ones like some obsessed psycho." That got Naruto to gasp. This wasn't the type of reaction he wanted.

"Then after you have buried the corpses, and hidden the evidence you think the two of us are going to be one big happy family, and force me to live with ya happily ever after, am I getting warm?"

She chuckled uncomfortably hoping that wasn't going through his thoughts. "Or have you already started the plans and put them in motion, hmm?"

"No! I just saw Itachi kill a lot of people, his whole family even, there was so much blood and pee, eww! I can't do that!" Naruto answered, taken aback at how insane he must have sounded a moment ago. Angst really wasn't his strength, he'd have to leave that skill to Sasuke in the future. "And why would I kill Kiba? He is a jerk but he hasn't done anything to me. Tsume-san I am not crazy, you know that don't you?"

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

"Positive?" she said laughing his embarrassment, some of the funniest moments of her life had been with this kid. "Can you guarantee the thought didn't occur to you at least once?"

"100%!...67%?"

"Phew….well this is awkward," she sighed in relief, "What are you doing?"

Naruto's head was resting on her breasts, Tsume had a feeling he was going to try something he shouldn't but who was she she to deny him, in fact a large part of her probably wanted to see what he was going to do. "Blame it on his environment and my lack of morals." A life of loneliness and living with horny dogs could do that to a person.

"Can I? Is it alright, just a little-,"Naruto asked with those puppy dog eyes. To a woman who had taken care of puppies half her life it said a lot that the orphan's cuteness surpassed those of a dozen litters of new born kits. "You promised I could."

"Go ahead," she sighed, rubbing her temples thinking how easily she gave in. Should could have put up a little fight, but the boy reminded him too much of the other red haired Uzumaki."And I thought only one other person had this effect on me."

Naruto started to suck on her breasts. Tsume moaned trying to judge what he could do. The large brown nipples were clamped around his mouth ever so softly. He slurped greedily like he was trying to get milk out of a bottle. "Not so fast, pace yourself." He looked like a new born baby with his eyes half closed blocking out everything except the gentle sensation of trying to get milk trickling into his mouth.

His hands went to the breast that he was working on and he played with it. Tsume encouraged the behavior by breathing in harsher. "Pretty good, keep going," she panted.

At this suggestion Naruto did just that, making his work more sloppy and squeezing on the tanned balloons with a bit more technique. "The book says if I swirl them it'll have a different feel, does it feel any different?"

"Just shut up and keep doing what you're doing, in fact I am not even going to answer you in a few minutes. You're not even here, there just happens to be something playing with my breasts that I can't see." As if on cue Naruto did just that, turned himself invisible. "Hey I didn't mean that literally! Come back here I want to at least know what you're doing-ohhh."

Naruto's teeth fiercely bit down her pointy hardness, then licked them, then bit on it again. Tsume held on to his hair and squeezed her hands on his scalp, directing his head to certain angles. "Right there, oh yeah, Snugglekins." Naruto in response rubbed his hands on the sides of her breasts and started to grind against her belly, which caused the mother to groan in want. "Oh yeah, keep rubbing me, baby, wow, you're pretty good at this. Suzume-senei must be a good teacher, eh? "

The blond liked the compliment, it wasn't often that someone praised him when he did something correctly, but the jab at Suzume was uncalled for. His feelings for his teacher shouldn't be taken so lightly. "I haven't tried anything on Sensei, yet, you have to believe me."

"Who cares, keep doing what you're doing, touch me more." At her direction his fingers continued to pinch on the pointy nipples and his invisible face turned to face Kiba's mother as his body started to pop into existence once again. "That's right, keep sucking me, lick me, lick this dirty mother, slobber on me you son of a bitch!"

"Ahhh, oh I can feel your teeth biting my nipples, bite harder!" Seeing how her tongue came out of her mouth like some dog when it was begging for her treats, Naruto thought he was doing pretty good. "Your better than Kiba's dad."

He knew he was doing even better when Tsume's hands came out of nowhere and started fondling his butt, this was the response he wanted. Kiba's mother's eyes looked glazed over and downright vicious with need and want. "Sorry Naruto-kun, but you're not the only one who is about to get embarrassed."

Tsume pulled off his white towel that was wrapped around his waist and in a second Naruto found himself naked, he was just glad that Tsume couldn't see his small pee pee because he was so close to her body, but that didn't stop her from fondling his naked but cheeks. "Ticklish aren't you?"

Before Naruto could say anything Tsume started tickling his bum using her sharp nails to touch a few nerves that he didn't know existed, and fondling the middle, squeezing them like a pair of heavy water balloons. "Tsume-san don't do that! It feels so strange!"

"Oh yeah?" she grinned, drool still pooling down her face, her white canines smiling at him with bestial hunger. This wasn't good, she was descended into her primal instincts.. "Then I am doing a pretty good deed aren't I? Most kids never get this from anyone let alone your friendly neighborhood MILF." Naruto looked puzzled, he had heard that word before. "You're still a newbie at this, Naruto, even if you can make me feel a little hot, but let's say I'm willing to continue. You think you can still show me a thing or two or do you wanna stop?"

"No I am not done yet!" he squealed, "I saw this in a book, and I swear you'll like it. The night is still young? Did I say the right lines?"

Tsume nodded, laughing at his oddness.

Naruto went down to the bathroom floor and pushed his head towards the mother's hairy pelvis. Tsume tried to stop him because she hadn't shaved down there for years and the thought of the little Uzumaki having his mouth anywhere near that region was over the top, even for her. "This place smells funny, I hope it doesn't taste as strange, but it's Tsume-san's so it must be good."

"Uzumaki! Don't you dare-oh," she cried, but found herself moaning when the orphans nose hit a place it wasn't meant to. The mother, in the future, would have to tell Naruto never to just jab his nostrils into her clitoris, it was too sensitive!

Common sense dictateed that Tsume was both faster and stronger than Naruto, but the relative amounts of estrogen high she was getting from this contact made her reluctant to do so.

She wanted to see what else Naruto could do. A part of her actually expected Uzumaki go down to her flower and start licking but seeing this actually being performed was a different story. "Naruto' don't move your nose in there, get it out!...or do it right, if you know what I mean."

"Just a minute, I just have to find-there it is! This looks a lot different from the books," Naruto said, his small hands parting her legs, which were automatically spreading, her toes curling up. "I didn't know it was so pink, like gum, or cherries, Tsume-san does it taste like gum-,"

"What are you waiting for! Damn it!" Tsume barked, spitting out enough killer instincts to freeze the boy. This had been the closest she had gotten to breaking some serious laws, in a long time and the way the kid was making him wait was starting to piss her off. "Hurry up! I am horny!"

Though technically if they didn't have sex, she wasn't doing anything wrong, and the kid sure looked happy. "Weren't you gonna show me you're not just some greenhorn? You think you can please a woman? We'll here I am, I am offering you a chance you won't ever get before, you shit for brains, now lick me, this is the closest you're ever gonna get from me giving ya doggy treats you little fox! Lick me, or I swear I'll make you! Do it now!"

This screaming didn't deter the curious Naruto. The orphans tiny fingers spread her flower apart and he was mesmerized at how far it went, he breathed in, then lifted his head to look at the crazed mother. "It's like a tunnel, how far does it go?"

"Not that far, and stop staring like that!" Tsume was surprised that her body blushed and her uterus clenched. "It's fucking embarrassing! At least close your eyes when you eat me! The next time you ask me a smart ass question I will wrap my legs around your scrawny neck so hard you'll pop like a inflated condon.

Gulping Naruto did as instructed, he placed his face where her entrance was and started to lick her folds, scared that Tsume would make him eat it, he had read what that meant and the idea of doing that to Kiba's mother had its appeal, but then there was the hair…. Breathing out a sigh of tension Tsume moaned, "Mmm, that feels good, but we really..shouldn't..but..."

"What the hell, she was just going to kill me a second ago if I didn't do anything? There is something wrong with her, oh well." At this encouragement Naruto believed he could do better and made his small tongue rotate inside her. "Baby, your good." This caused the mother to buck her hips in response and shift uncomfortably. "Okay, this isn't bad. You need some work but this isn't, oh, wow, that hit the spot. Ohh, nice, yeah keep that up! Right there, oh yeah! Right there. Don't stop licking there."

Naruto followed the requests of Kiba's mom, making his tongue go where he believed made her yelp a bit loader. "Right! Right! That's it!" ohh," she groaned.

"I am cumming!" she sighed and gently lay on the floor looking up at the ceiling.

As the ovarian juices splashed on the boy's face, Naruto had to ask something that was on his mind. "Can't you do me?" Naruto asked.

"Sorry, but no way," she admitted, feeling slightly guilty that she wouldn't be able to return the favor. She got up from the floor and crossed her legs, her face smiling viciously."Not until you are an adult."

"When is that?" he asked, hoping it wouldn't be too long.

"Well when you get your Chunin vest, but that isn't for a long-,"

"That's all I have to do? Really?"

They both froze when their senses told them another person was nearby.

"Mommy, I am home!" Kiba called from downstairs, "It was great, Shino's bugs are so awesome and his mother made the best tofu dogs!"

Hearing the voice of Kiba calling, Naruto wrapped himself with Tsume's fluffy bath robes ran out of there, and jumped out from the bathroom window, feeling pumped with fear. "Kiba, please don't smell me." He didn't want to know what his nemesis might do to him if he scented his mom's juices all over him.

He had other things to worry about.

Naruto now needed to pass that test, and even if he couldn't do a clone he would have to improve his scores in the other subjects to warrant a pass.

Wearing his Genin headband proudly Naruto strutted down the busy streets of Konoha. As usual the locals were cursing at him in the background. "Lousy brat! How the douche did he pass the exam! My kid is still in the academy!" sneered Haruna Sakura's father, the village drunk. "And she is shwmart!"

"I heard he didn't even make a proper clone, at least that Uchiha can replicate one. Now Uchiha Sasuke, he is a true hero!" Ami's father, the butcher, yelled proudly. "They should have promoted him instead, so what if he couldn't get perfect on the written portion, he could still kick Naruto's ass in Taijutsu any day of the week!"

"Wait a minute, didn't Uzumaki save Sasuke?" another voice joined in, carrying two bags full of groceries, mostly ramen in its raw form. This man was slightly shorter than the others, and a few years older. He had the build of a retired fighter and a face of a friendly bystander. "You know, Sasuke, the kid who went into a coma for a few months."

"Err-yeah, I guess?" the butcher replied, scratching his purple beard.

"So wouldn't he technically be the hero?" the old man asked, giving the Human Sacrifice a smile. "While Sasuke is the damsel in distress?"

The orphan for his part was oblivious to all of this. He was on cloud number nine and by the huge grin on his face, the old man had to judge this has to be one of the happiest moments of his life. "He did after all put his life in danger for the boy, despite being his enemy. We all know how much Sasuke dislikes the brat, ever since his humiliation three years ago."

"Umm-well, that is…err…Shut up! Who asked you, fucking asshole Ramen Chief!"

"Got to hell Teuchi, get back in your stand. We don't come to Ichiraku and hassle you!" an old lady yelled, hurling some rocks at Naruto, who didn't even bother to dodge them.

This particular lady had a habit of tossing garbage at him, so he was used to just ignoring her because she had poor aim and only one good eye.

In fact that rock hit the butcher on his left temple, causing him to fall down on his stand, breaking the front counter with his massive girth. The old lady screamed, "Curse that child! It was his fault I missed because of his ill begotten demon powers...I better leave…" The old lady made a prompt run into an abandoned alley, where she would be mugged by a homeless man.

"Then again he does have a point. I mean he rescued Hiashi's kid and Mikoto's kid, so he can't be that bad, right?" a cross-eyed teen asked, giving Teuchi a nod.

They say time heals all wounds, that isn't exactly true but it does dull the pain. Someday the village would stop hating the boy, if Naruto lived long enough to conquer the hatred, he might find himself in a place he didn't know was under his nose.

Whispers of the boy's exploits had already started to grow around the crowd, some people actually felt proud that they had a tragic hero like Naruto in their neighborhood, though the vast majority didn't see it that way.

Most old men who didn't hate Naruto were perverts who liked Naruto the Gutsy Ninja from Icha Icha Paradise, so maybe it wasn't so much that they were good people, just disillusioned left handed jerkers.

"Maybe he isn't so bad? You know he kind of looks like Minato-san, doesn't he?" another old lady said. "His last name is Uzumaki, do you think he could be…"

This only got more people in the crowd angry and soon there was a debate about the whole issue of whether Naruto was a hero or the reincarnation of absolute evil. "He is the devil I say. He made me lose my job, and now I can't go home," the village drunk yelled, breaking a bottle in his hands as the shards pierced into his flesh causing a few people to back away slowly.

"Haruna-san, there is no way in hell that Naruto got you fired from Konoha Sanitations, you did that to yourself. By the way you should really go see your wife and little girl one of these days. I hear Sakura isn't doing so good," Teuchi replied actually feeling worried for the man's family. "And don't the rest of you have better things to do with your time?"

This actually made a few people look at him with confusion, the majority of them really didn't have anything better to do except stew in their own festering hatred." You do realize that Cloud is already planning to restart another Shinobi War over the Hyuuga incident, do you not?"

Now this actually got some of the people to shut up. After three years of debates the only agreement the Councils of Cloud and Konoha could come up with was how many corpses the other would leave when the war ended..

It was far too late to just hand over Hizashi's body and in a few months everything was going to go to hell when the latest Shinobi War would commence.

It was probably why Naruto even got his promotion or at least that was what Teuchi suspected. "I am not the only one who is aware of what the boy really is am I? We are a Ninja village, this isn't the first time something like Naruto exists and if history does indeed repeat itself, we are really going to need him when Cloud unleashes the other two Chakra beasts.

This debate got people talking, debating on the merits of Naruto's usefulness. "I have to get back to the stand. I know you people are smarter than you give yourself credit for, to really think Naruto is a demon is an insult to this village and all it stands for." That was true, the villagers weren't as dumb as they looked. "I don't think any of you truly believe he is a monster, we all went to the Shinobi Academy, even if the majority of us failed, and we all know about the Valley of the End." That jogged a few memories from History class, everyone was aware of the battle between Madaara and Harashima.

"This isn't the first time Konoha has had possession of the Kyuubi in its walls and when Cloud attacks I am sure you'll see where the other two Chakra beasts went. I just hope when the time comes, Naruto is willing to fight for us with everything he has, because I can guarantee the other two will fight with everything they got."

Silence met this declaration as the Ramen vendor walked down the street, when he got far enough the old man mumbled to himself. "These people are idiots, there are more brain cells in my feces. Nothing I said is even a big secret, yet everyone always acts like this is the first time they hear about it, always saying I am just a bitter cook." He sneered, "So maybe I am! At least I can see that he is just a 9-year-old looking for affection, but hey what do I know, I just cook ramen."

Naruto didn't have to go much further and started to jump across the buildings, pumping Chakra through his ankles. One of the reasons he was able to pass was due to his ability to force Chakra through his body like it was second nature. "Intent goes in, Chakra comes out."

The orphans gift of pressuring huge amounts of energy through his pores allowed him to leap moderately high distances with ease."Weird, is this the right place? It looks like a dump. Wouldn't a Jounin make enough money to live better?"

The second reason he passed was simple. "Naruto-kun, I didn't know you knew over 100 Ninjutsu!" Suzume had cooed. Needless to say those extra credit scores were a huge boost, even if Iruka wasn't too happy about it. But the scarred man still handed over his headband. "Good luck Naruto, I still don't think you're ready, but I won't hold this pass against you."

Naruto found himself in a broken down apartment. It looked a lot like his own, however unlike the place he lived in the doors didn't have any graffiti of demon foxes. "Okay, stay calm. You can do this. Just make a good first impression."

He knocked the door.

No one answered .

Thinking of a way to deal with this issue he decided to open the door and see if anyone was inside first of all. "Hello, anyone in here?"

When he got no reply he stepped in through the door and tried not to vomit at the stench of booze and decaying pizza crusts. He looked around for any life forms and found nothing. As he got closer and closer into the kitchen, the heart of the foul odor, he found more beer and porn magazines covering the floor. "He has a lot of issues of G Cup Monthly and Milfdom I wonder if he would let me borrow a few copies?"

Finally after searching the apartment he sensed a small signiture in the kitchen here he found a tall gangly teenager, wearing an Anbu Uniform and a dog mask, lay there sleeping. "Should I wake him up?"

Naruto kicked the man in the side of the stomach, prompting him to get up, holding a Kunai out and looking like he was being chased by a hundred assassins. "I wasn't sleeping! You'll never take me alive! Save me, Sensei! "

Then he blinked. "Wait a minute, this is my place." He realized there was no one there, except for the face of an all too familiar blond, but the Anbu Captain had no choice but to act the part of the stranger, despite how insane he looked a moment ago.

Technically Naruto wasn't supposed to know of his existence or his habit of following him around.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked. "Have we met before?"

"Your new student," Naruto said smugly, "The name's Uzumaki Naruto you crazy stinking drunk…by the way do you mind if I borrow this one, sensei. I have never read GILF before, these ladies look pretty old, and this one on Pg. 7 is bald, but I can see her appeal. I didn't even know boobs could get that big yet hold their elasticity, so I'll let it slide. But I have an odd feeling I have seen this old girl on Pg.3 somewhere, I just can't put my finger on it…"

Kakashi blinked a few times seeing Ututane Koharu's Naughty Moments caught on camera. Truthfully he hadn't even read most of these piles of smut, and wasn't even aware the Council Elder was into such strange fetishes, but to each his own he guessed.

He just hoped no one published any of his naughty pics anywhere, he really shouldn't have gotten drunk with Gai that one night. He heard the sounds of flashes from a camera in that memory, so that evening was going to come back to bite him in the ass/anus, someday.

Feeling the leftovers of his hangover, the Captain rubbed his eyes, trying to see if this was a dream, it was just too strange to think a nine year old would know what all of this meant. He pinched himself to make sure. "Huh, what do you know."

Watching the boy sit down beside him and read the magazine with the concentration of a Sage, he couldn't help but feel a sense of Déjà vu. This was almost like his childhood, sitting by his teacher, reading smut. "Good times". Only he didn't recall being as young as the blond beside him. "Still there is something so wrong about this, but who am I to judge others, I mean look at how much Vaseline there is lying around."

"But I can do it right, this is my shot," he thought. This was his chance, he had to take it. The spiral of student and teacher was upon him, it was his turn to teach the next generation, his teacher's son, and maybe someday the boy would teach his kids, to complete an everlasting cycle that would extend into infinity.

He sneered under his mask, hoping Naruto didn't notice, knowing how proud his Godfather would be. "Not yet Naruto, we are going to drop by the Hokage's office to pick up your other two potential teammates, let's just say the three of you will have to pass a rather interesting test before you can call yourself my students."

Then he smiled, closing his eyes, making him look comical. "But on the plus side if you all pass, you're team mates will happen to be two Kunoichi, they are a little old, their teams just got cancelled and they are in a temporary shuffle." Then he looked serious. "One is a 14 year old Genin and the other is a 16 year old Chunin. I hope you don't mind do you, Uzumaki-san?"

Seeing the fire in Naruto's eyes and the fierce blush rising in his cheeks, Kakashi had to smile. His smile was so big it threatened to tear his mask, which was strange because underneath his mask, was another mask so it took a lot to break them. "At least he isn't going to flame me for reading Icha Icha."

This boy was everything he wanted in a student and more. He had better pass the bell test. "Jiraiya must see this. This boy is like the son he never had and the best part is no one can blame me if he does turn out to be a Super Pervert." He paused to watch the boy flip through his books. "Judging by how he is holding onto those GILF magazines, he has some real potential." Apart of Kakashi told himself he had better check of if any of his higher quality porn was stolen by the end of this meeting, Uzumaki Naruto was a tricky one.

Naruto didn't know why his teacher started to laugh after talking to himself as if he wasn't there. "Should I just pretend I can't hear him? This better not be part of that conspiracy Itachi told me about." The orphan frowned. "Curse you, you bloody psychopath. Now you made me paranoid." Little did he know that was the best advice anyone would ever give him.

"Okay let's go find your feisty new teammates so we can see if you got what it takes to be a part of Team Kakashi." He looked around the room, noticing something was missing. "Where in the world did my fox mask go?"

"Sensei I found this little girl in that snowy bridge," Naruto said, pointing to the black haired lass on his back. Despite being called little she was still bigger, and looked somewhat older than Naruto. "I think she has some kind of bloodline. She's been surviving in this frozen city without a coat or anything, and there seems to be large trails of ice leading up to her path. Plus it's like minus 40 out here, what do you think?"

"Naruto I think you did a great job, Konoha could always use more blood limits," the lanky teenaged ex-Anbu Captain commented, his attention somewhere else. "But did you notice there was a Mist Ninja with a giant cleaver following you?"

Nine year old Naruto turned to see the said man. The ominous figure waved. "That isn't Zabuza of the Seven Swords is it?" The burly man was already removing the enormous sword from his back, while making the area go foggy. "Crap, you don't think he is after the girl do you?"

The ex-Anbu looked at Naruto like he was an idiot. "I'm out of Chakra from the last mission to Cloud, this war has really been taking its toll on me. Hana and Yurika went to the Water Country Resort, so not much I can do to call them back…I think we should run," Kakashi said.

Naruto started building up his reserves to make a fast retreat, he looked annoyed at his teacher's tactics, that seemed to be his solution for everything. But today he had a feeling they were going to get caught. "Great, this is a race. Last one back to Konoha gets his legs cut off."

End