Twenty-two:
The floor boards of the lanai creaked loudly with each step Leon took. Jumping down the steps, he fastened his alforjas to the sides of his bike and patted it reassuringly. Outside, it was quiet, not a single breeze ruffled the leaves and all the families around the area must have gone away for the weekend because the sound of kids yelling in the street was non-existent. Pulling his key out he jingled it a couple of times then shoved it back in his pocket. Going around to the side of the house, he took one last look at the tall trees that surrounded the perimeter; somewhere beyond the grove was a railroad track with a train passing by just then. A freight train, probably, Leon thought. It coasted along quickly, barreling across mile after mile, not thinking about what it had left behind or what it would be missing. If only he could be the same...
Shaking his head, he headed back into the house and scooped up his leather jacket and motorcycle gloves before heading out. Before he reached the door he caught the faint smell of wildflowers and he lifted the jacket to his nose. Claire's scent filled his nostrils and he was surprised that the smell would stick even after the last few weeks. Walking backwards, he glanced around the corner at Claire's closed bedroom door. The interior of that room was just as, if not more, still than the environment outside. It had been like that for the past week.
Even after their brief but truculent argument Leon had tried to make amends; but Claire was an expert at many things and the cold shoulder was right at the top of the list. When he woke up in the morning, she was heading out the door to work. He'd try to catch her at night but she'd slam the door in his face before he could say two words. And the time that filled the space in between her coming and goings was useless because she passed him by as if he wasn't there at all.
Leon couldn't have expected any less, he supposed. He was probably the biggest asshole alive to her now. The biggest surprise was that Claire hadn't killed him in his sleep. After staring at the door for nearly a minute, a wave of indignation swept over him. Did she actually think that he ever intended to hurt her? He was doing this for her, if he stayed, he was sure he would ruin her life...Claire could be SO much without him. If he held her back, she'd never reach her full potential... And she'd already put her life on hold for too long, it was time for her to pick up where she left off and be everything she wanted to be before it was too late.
For one unbalanced moment, he felt like charging for the door and ripping it out of the frame and forcing Claire to listen. The jiff past, however, and he forced himself to walk out the door. Once outside, he realized it probably wouldn't have done any good for him to break down the door. Sitting outside on the railing was Claire. At the sound of the door opening and closing, she looked up and saw him leaving.
Leon shuffled his feet, hesitant to move. Was she going to say something? Did she want him to start? What WOULD they have said, anyway? Sighing, he brushed his red hair out of his eyes, he headed down the steps.
"Explain to me why," Claire said suddenly just before his boot hit the dirt. "I mean, EXACTLY why you are leaving." She twisted around so she was looking down on him. Her hair that she had left down that day fell over her eye and she suddenly looked like the mythical queen of some far, distant world.
Leon cleared his throat and faced her squarely. "Well. You never exactly let me explain."
"Okay, that's my fault." she conceded. "But you should at least tell me why you'd go after all we've been through."
She hopped off the rail and stood before him, a good foot and a half shorter than he but with an expression so daunting he felt intimidated.
All his reasons for going which had been so clear to him in the house just moments before suddenly seemed insignificant and he wished he could take back that he ever said them.
"I don't want to leave you, Claire."
"Then WHY?" she demanded.
"Because...I just..." He stepped back and took a breath. If he faltered in anyway, Claire would pounce on his weakness until he himself believed that he could stay. Facing her again, he took her shoulders and spoke calmly, "Claire, you are an amazingly talented woman. You could do anything you set your mind to, and I am positive that if I hold you back, it'll only make things worse."
Claire pushed his arms away. "Don't you think it's up to ME to decide what's bad for me?" she asked, her voice quivering.
"I owe it to you to allow you to grow." Leon said. "You'll do much better without any ties."
"Leon!" Claire pleaded, grabbing hold of his arm. "You don't OWE me anything, do you hear? Nothing at all. At the very least it's me who owes you. Jesus, Christ, I owe you my life five thousand times over for everything you've done!"
"Claire, I--"
Leon was caught off as Claire pulled him into a fierce hug. "Please, Leon, don't leave me." she begged him. "I don't think I could go on normally after you leave. We've been through too much."
A lump formed in Leon's throat and he closed his eyes tightly, forcing back the tears that threatened to spill over. "Believe me; you'll be able to go on..."
"Oh, GOD, why do you have to be so stubborn?!" Claire cried, at the end of her rope of patience.
Leon shrugged. "You've rubbed off, I guess."
Despite her frayed nerves, Claire had to let out a short-lived, humorless chuckle. She reached up to caress his cheek, the warmth of her touch something that Leon held on to for it would probably be the last time he ever felt it.
"Of all the traits you could have taken, you chose the most frustrating of all..." Claire said.
"Don't leave." Claire murmured once more before Leon left her embrace.
"I can't stay." Leon replied, too tired to argue with her anymore.
Claire bit her lip in anger before grabbing her finger and pulling at the ring on it. "Then fine. Here. Take this. I don't want it anymore."
She dropped it in his hand before he could get a good hold on it and he fumbled.
"But I gave it to you." Leon said.
"And I'm giving it back so you can give it to the next tart you decide to fuck over."
God, she was tired of arguing with this man. No matter how much she begged or pleaded, he was so SET on leaving. It just wasn't worth it. Turning abruptly on her heel, she headed for the house. When she opened the door, the engine of the Harley started up and she looked back. Leon's expression, just as frustrated as hers, was fixed on the road before him. He caught her eye one last time and Claire flipped her hair defiantly before slamming the door. The motorcycle revved before speeding off. Claire listened to it as it went faster and faster until the droning was completely gone.
When the previous silence settled in, she filled it with her heart-broken sobs. Damn him, she thought bitterly. Damn him to hell! He wasn't any better than Steve had been after all. If he didn't want to get back into law enforcement, there was always room for him in the acting department. Jerking her head up, she grabbed a plate from the dish rack and threw it across the room. The sound made a surprisingly potent cure for her anger. Grabbing for another, she threw it to the other wall and was suddenly pitching plates left and right.
With every shattering of ceramic, thoughts rose and diminished. All were of Leon and all weren't flattering to him in the least. She couldn't recall any of them on a bet, but they each ranged from him being a good-for-nothing womanizer to him crashing on the side of the road somewhere, a death not fitting to a sleazy bastard like himself. He had never cared about her; he just wanted someone to screw with until he got bored and moved on to conquest a girl in the next state. Her hand reached for the very last plate and she reared back, preparing to send it flying and add a new layer to the ceramic carpet when she saw all the damage she had done.
The impact of the fallen objects and broken glass was shocking to her. Reason began to settle in and this time she dropped the plate because of trembling hands, not psychotic rage. Had she really done all this? Pulling the broom out of the closet she began to clean up. As she swept up the rubble, she came across a piece of blue plate ceramic. Picking it up, she saw it looked familiar. After pondering over it for a brief moment, she knew what it reminded her of. Leon's eyes. The calming effect it had on her was amazing and she was suddenly flooded with remorse.
Leon, HER Leon wouldn't have done anything to hurt her. Not intentionally, anyway... How could a man who would read romance novels aloud to her, paint her toenails late in the night, or argue about whether she should get the window seat in a restaurant possibly be that heartless? This wasn't the time for any deep soul searching however. Claire didn't need any of it. Even if Leon thought that things would be better if they separated, he was just a man, he needed a woman to show him what was right. She grabbed the keys for Rebecca's car and hurried out. The next hour was spent driving around, trying desperately to find a silver Harley in the late afternoon traffic jam. After she realized it was futile, she was forced to return home, unsuccessful.
Parking in the garage, she allowed her head to fall to the wheel. Tears fell down her face and she began to cry. As her tears rolled down her cheeks, rain from outside started to patter on the ground around her. Even though she was exhausted and distraught, she forced herself out. If she wasn't going to catch up with him tonight she would find his sister's house or an uncle's cabin or where ever the hell he decided to run. As stubborn as he had been, the trait didn't come naturally to him as it did Claire. He couldn't hold on to those romantic idealities that he was doing her good by leaving. Claire wouldn't allow him to leave her life again.
Entering the house, she started for her room when she heard a loud curse from the kitchen.
"I'm sorry, Chris." she said, peeking in. "I'll clean it u..."
She trailed off when she saw that it wasn't Chris. Leon was squatting in the middle of the mess she had made, picking up the pieces off the ground. When he saw her, he stood to his full height and swayed nervously.
"Leon?" she whispered tearfully.
Leon looked off to the side. "I, uh, I came back because...I forgot something."
Claire scoffed. "What did you forget?"
Leon opened his mouth but then closed it again. "I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"No." He replied.
Without saying anything, Claire took hold of the broom and started to sweep. They cleaned in silence until Leon stooped down to scoop up the broken glass she swept into the waiting dust pan. When he rose and met her at eye level, she stopped him suddenly.
"You didn't--" she began.
"I couldn't..." Leon interjected as if reading her mind.
She took the dust pan and headed for the waste basket. After dumping it, she backed up into him for he had been following close behind her.
"Why?" she asked, picking up the previous subject. She couldn't see him but she could tell by the way he pressed his head to hers that his eyes were closed.
"Because...I..." He trailed off hopelessly. "I...was wrong."
"About?" she turned to face him evenly.
Leon looked down, massaging her fingers that he was crushing in a vice grip. "Everything." He said. Looking up, he repeated himself. "I was wrong about everything. I shouldn't have decided anything without telling you."
Sympathy welled inside her when she saw his tortured eyes. "You couldn't help it. You thought--"
"I thought wrong." he interrupted. "It took me about five miles before I realized that I was being a jackass. I drove around for the longest time, trying to think of some way to apologize--I wasn't sure if you'd forgive me. If I were you, I probably wouldn't have accepted anything." He looked around at the mess. "When I walked in here, I almost turned around."
Claire laughed, still averse to believe that Leon was really there.
"I almost made the biggest mistake of my life tonight, Claire." Leon said mournfully. "The reality of that is what scared me the most, I had to come back. I didn't want to lose you again."
Claire shook her head. "You couldn't have lost me."
Leon looked down at her. "Why is that?"
"Because," she said, but was cut off when the front door opened.
"Oh, I'm soaked to the bone!" Rebecca cried.
"Here, let me--" Chris trailed off. "What happened in here?"
Claire looked up at Leon and they suppressed a laugh. Chris hadn't entered the kitchen yet, so they crept out, silently opening the kitchen door and closing it as they stepped out onto the lanai. They crossed quickly to the French doors that opened into Claire's room and she locked it up once they were inside.
"What's going to happen to us?" Claire asked suddenly, turning to face him.
Leon took off his jacket and hung it on the side of the chair. "Well...um, ideally, we'd live happily ever after...but..."
"But what?" she pressed, sitting down.
Leon rubbed his temples before crossing to her and giving her a long, slow kiss. As his lips warmed her own, Claire realized that she didn't need an answer. For him to give her an answer would have been like him giving her a promise and she'd had enough of those to last a lifetime. For now, they would just have to live one day at a time until their lives settled again. Maybe then there would be an answer. Maybe then there would be a valid promise to be made. For now, she had him back and that was just as good as any fairy tale happily ever after. In fact, it was even better.
The floor boards of the lanai creaked loudly with each step Leon took. Jumping down the steps, he fastened his alforjas to the sides of his bike and patted it reassuringly. Outside, it was quiet, not a single breeze ruffled the leaves and all the families around the area must have gone away for the weekend because the sound of kids yelling in the street was non-existent. Pulling his key out he jingled it a couple of times then shoved it back in his pocket. Going around to the side of the house, he took one last look at the tall trees that surrounded the perimeter; somewhere beyond the grove was a railroad track with a train passing by just then. A freight train, probably, Leon thought. It coasted along quickly, barreling across mile after mile, not thinking about what it had left behind or what it would be missing. If only he could be the same...
Shaking his head, he headed back into the house and scooped up his leather jacket and motorcycle gloves before heading out. Before he reached the door he caught the faint smell of wildflowers and he lifted the jacket to his nose. Claire's scent filled his nostrils and he was surprised that the smell would stick even after the last few weeks. Walking backwards, he glanced around the corner at Claire's closed bedroom door. The interior of that room was just as, if not more, still than the environment outside. It had been like that for the past week.
Even after their brief but truculent argument Leon had tried to make amends; but Claire was an expert at many things and the cold shoulder was right at the top of the list. When he woke up in the morning, she was heading out the door to work. He'd try to catch her at night but she'd slam the door in his face before he could say two words. And the time that filled the space in between her coming and goings was useless because she passed him by as if he wasn't there at all.
Leon couldn't have expected any less, he supposed. He was probably the biggest asshole alive to her now. The biggest surprise was that Claire hadn't killed him in his sleep. After staring at the door for nearly a minute, a wave of indignation swept over him. Did she actually think that he ever intended to hurt her? He was doing this for her, if he stayed, he was sure he would ruin her life...Claire could be SO much without him. If he held her back, she'd never reach her full potential... And she'd already put her life on hold for too long, it was time for her to pick up where she left off and be everything she wanted to be before it was too late.
For one unbalanced moment, he felt like charging for the door and ripping it out of the frame and forcing Claire to listen. The jiff past, however, and he forced himself to walk out the door. Once outside, he realized it probably wouldn't have done any good for him to break down the door. Sitting outside on the railing was Claire. At the sound of the door opening and closing, she looked up and saw him leaving.
Leon shuffled his feet, hesitant to move. Was she going to say something? Did she want him to start? What WOULD they have said, anyway? Sighing, he brushed his red hair out of his eyes, he headed down the steps.
"Explain to me why," Claire said suddenly just before his boot hit the dirt. "I mean, EXACTLY why you are leaving." She twisted around so she was looking down on him. Her hair that she had left down that day fell over her eye and she suddenly looked like the mythical queen of some far, distant world.
Leon cleared his throat and faced her squarely. "Well. You never exactly let me explain."
"Okay, that's my fault." she conceded. "But you should at least tell me why you'd go after all we've been through."
She hopped off the rail and stood before him, a good foot and a half shorter than he but with an expression so daunting he felt intimidated.
All his reasons for going which had been so clear to him in the house just moments before suddenly seemed insignificant and he wished he could take back that he ever said them.
"I don't want to leave you, Claire."
"Then WHY?" she demanded.
"Because...I just..." He stepped back and took a breath. If he faltered in anyway, Claire would pounce on his weakness until he himself believed that he could stay. Facing her again, he took her shoulders and spoke calmly, "Claire, you are an amazingly talented woman. You could do anything you set your mind to, and I am positive that if I hold you back, it'll only make things worse."
Claire pushed his arms away. "Don't you think it's up to ME to decide what's bad for me?" she asked, her voice quivering.
"I owe it to you to allow you to grow." Leon said. "You'll do much better without any ties."
"Leon!" Claire pleaded, grabbing hold of his arm. "You don't OWE me anything, do you hear? Nothing at all. At the very least it's me who owes you. Jesus, Christ, I owe you my life five thousand times over for everything you've done!"
"Claire, I--"
Leon was caught off as Claire pulled him into a fierce hug. "Please, Leon, don't leave me." she begged him. "I don't think I could go on normally after you leave. We've been through too much."
A lump formed in Leon's throat and he closed his eyes tightly, forcing back the tears that threatened to spill over. "Believe me; you'll be able to go on..."
"Oh, GOD, why do you have to be so stubborn?!" Claire cried, at the end of her rope of patience.
Leon shrugged. "You've rubbed off, I guess."
Despite her frayed nerves, Claire had to let out a short-lived, humorless chuckle. She reached up to caress his cheek, the warmth of her touch something that Leon held on to for it would probably be the last time he ever felt it.
"Of all the traits you could have taken, you chose the most frustrating of all..." Claire said.
"Don't leave." Claire murmured once more before Leon left her embrace.
"I can't stay." Leon replied, too tired to argue with her anymore.
Claire bit her lip in anger before grabbing her finger and pulling at the ring on it. "Then fine. Here. Take this. I don't want it anymore."
She dropped it in his hand before he could get a good hold on it and he fumbled.
"But I gave it to you." Leon said.
"And I'm giving it back so you can give it to the next tart you decide to fuck over."
God, she was tired of arguing with this man. No matter how much she begged or pleaded, he was so SET on leaving. It just wasn't worth it. Turning abruptly on her heel, she headed for the house. When she opened the door, the engine of the Harley started up and she looked back. Leon's expression, just as frustrated as hers, was fixed on the road before him. He caught her eye one last time and Claire flipped her hair defiantly before slamming the door. The motorcycle revved before speeding off. Claire listened to it as it went faster and faster until the droning was completely gone.
When the previous silence settled in, she filled it with her heart-broken sobs. Damn him, she thought bitterly. Damn him to hell! He wasn't any better than Steve had been after all. If he didn't want to get back into law enforcement, there was always room for him in the acting department. Jerking her head up, she grabbed a plate from the dish rack and threw it across the room. The sound made a surprisingly potent cure for her anger. Grabbing for another, she threw it to the other wall and was suddenly pitching plates left and right.
With every shattering of ceramic, thoughts rose and diminished. All were of Leon and all weren't flattering to him in the least. She couldn't recall any of them on a bet, but they each ranged from him being a good-for-nothing womanizer to him crashing on the side of the road somewhere, a death not fitting to a sleazy bastard like himself. He had never cared about her; he just wanted someone to screw with until he got bored and moved on to conquest a girl in the next state. Her hand reached for the very last plate and she reared back, preparing to send it flying and add a new layer to the ceramic carpet when she saw all the damage she had done.
The impact of the fallen objects and broken glass was shocking to her. Reason began to settle in and this time she dropped the plate because of trembling hands, not psychotic rage. Had she really done all this? Pulling the broom out of the closet she began to clean up. As she swept up the rubble, she came across a piece of blue plate ceramic. Picking it up, she saw it looked familiar. After pondering over it for a brief moment, she knew what it reminded her of. Leon's eyes. The calming effect it had on her was amazing and she was suddenly flooded with remorse.
Leon, HER Leon wouldn't have done anything to hurt her. Not intentionally, anyway... How could a man who would read romance novels aloud to her, paint her toenails late in the night, or argue about whether she should get the window seat in a restaurant possibly be that heartless? This wasn't the time for any deep soul searching however. Claire didn't need any of it. Even if Leon thought that things would be better if they separated, he was just a man, he needed a woman to show him what was right. She grabbed the keys for Rebecca's car and hurried out. The next hour was spent driving around, trying desperately to find a silver Harley in the late afternoon traffic jam. After she realized it was futile, she was forced to return home, unsuccessful.
Parking in the garage, she allowed her head to fall to the wheel. Tears fell down her face and she began to cry. As her tears rolled down her cheeks, rain from outside started to patter on the ground around her. Even though she was exhausted and distraught, she forced herself out. If she wasn't going to catch up with him tonight she would find his sister's house or an uncle's cabin or where ever the hell he decided to run. As stubborn as he had been, the trait didn't come naturally to him as it did Claire. He couldn't hold on to those romantic idealities that he was doing her good by leaving. Claire wouldn't allow him to leave her life again.
Entering the house, she started for her room when she heard a loud curse from the kitchen.
"I'm sorry, Chris." she said, peeking in. "I'll clean it u..."
She trailed off when she saw that it wasn't Chris. Leon was squatting in the middle of the mess she had made, picking up the pieces off the ground. When he saw her, he stood to his full height and swayed nervously.
"Leon?" she whispered tearfully.
Leon looked off to the side. "I, uh, I came back because...I forgot something."
Claire scoffed. "What did you forget?"
Leon opened his mouth but then closed it again. "I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"No." He replied.
Without saying anything, Claire took hold of the broom and started to sweep. They cleaned in silence until Leon stooped down to scoop up the broken glass she swept into the waiting dust pan. When he rose and met her at eye level, she stopped him suddenly.
"You didn't--" she began.
"I couldn't..." Leon interjected as if reading her mind.
She took the dust pan and headed for the waste basket. After dumping it, she backed up into him for he had been following close behind her.
"Why?" she asked, picking up the previous subject. She couldn't see him but she could tell by the way he pressed his head to hers that his eyes were closed.
"Because...I..." He trailed off hopelessly. "I...was wrong."
"About?" she turned to face him evenly.
Leon looked down, massaging her fingers that he was crushing in a vice grip. "Everything." He said. Looking up, he repeated himself. "I was wrong about everything. I shouldn't have decided anything without telling you."
Sympathy welled inside her when she saw his tortured eyes. "You couldn't help it. You thought--"
"I thought wrong." he interrupted. "It took me about five miles before I realized that I was being a jackass. I drove around for the longest time, trying to think of some way to apologize--I wasn't sure if you'd forgive me. If I were you, I probably wouldn't have accepted anything." He looked around at the mess. "When I walked in here, I almost turned around."
Claire laughed, still averse to believe that Leon was really there.
"I almost made the biggest mistake of my life tonight, Claire." Leon said mournfully. "The reality of that is what scared me the most, I had to come back. I didn't want to lose you again."
Claire shook her head. "You couldn't have lost me."
Leon looked down at her. "Why is that?"
"Because," she said, but was cut off when the front door opened.
"Oh, I'm soaked to the bone!" Rebecca cried.
"Here, let me--" Chris trailed off. "What happened in here?"
Claire looked up at Leon and they suppressed a laugh. Chris hadn't entered the kitchen yet, so they crept out, silently opening the kitchen door and closing it as they stepped out onto the lanai. They crossed quickly to the French doors that opened into Claire's room and she locked it up once they were inside.
"What's going to happen to us?" Claire asked suddenly, turning to face him.
Leon took off his jacket and hung it on the side of the chair. "Well...um, ideally, we'd live happily ever after...but..."
"But what?" she pressed, sitting down.
Leon rubbed his temples before crossing to her and giving her a long, slow kiss. As his lips warmed her own, Claire realized that she didn't need an answer. For him to give her an answer would have been like him giving her a promise and she'd had enough of those to last a lifetime. For now, they would just have to live one day at a time until their lives settled again. Maybe then there would be an answer. Maybe then there would be a valid promise to be made. For now, she had him back and that was just as good as any fairy tale happily ever after. In fact, it was even better.