Hello, CookieCreamXP here! So I've been searching on fanfiction when I realized, NO MORE SHINONXROLF!! Well of course that's a crime on its own, so I decided to bring a one-shot story to the table. Enjoy all you fangirls!

Summary: What a lovely day, Shinon thinks. Sarcastically, of course. But Shinon's day is about to get even more complete when Rolf shows up with a very bizarre request. Well, it was going to happen one day or another...ShinonxRolf

Never Refuse a Child's Request

Rolf was annoying. This was something Shinon certified over and over again. Whenever he saw that bulbous, neon green hair, Shinon know: Rolf comes again.

The boy fawned over the red-haired sniper like a kid staring at Ritalin. Every day it was "Uncle Shinon, here's a bow I made for you" or "Uncle Shinon, look, I hit a bulls-eye" or "Unkie Shinon, I'm kinda lonely, will you give me a hug?"

Shinon's responses to those sayings respectively were "quit trying to make me die, Rolf" and "you really suck, you're off by a centimetre, kid" and "bite my ass, Rolf!"

Despite how annoying he was, Shinon did feel particularly pleased to know Rolf paid more attention to him than his two brothers. Plus, even though Shinon constantly ordered Rolf to chew his derriere, he always complied by giving the kid a little embrace. Rolf was pretty cute, and it was especially satisfying to do it in front of Boyd. The steroids man pulled all-too-funny faces that were priceless.

One particularly fine day, Rolf approached Shinon with that blasted hopeful face. Shinon cringed. It meant Rolf had a request and he knew what would come if Shinon refused to follow along: Rolf's stupid puppy face.

"Hey, hey, Uncle Shinon!" Rolf cried excitedly. "Today could you—"

"No," Shinon snapped while adjusting the string on his bow.

"What?! But you didn't hear me out!" Rolf protested.

Sighing, Shinon relented. "Alright, what do you want this time, Rolf?"

"Will you buy me some brandy?"

"..." Shinon halted in his work, his eyes wide. Did that kid...?

"Er, Shinon?"

"Brandy??" Shinon cried in disbelief. "You sure you didn't mean milk or apple juice?" Was he hearing this kid right?

"No, I want brandy." Rolf corrected calmly.

"Why?" Shinon gazed at him suspiciously. "Rolf, you're only—what, fifteen?"

"I know, but if you buy it, nobody will find out. Anyways, you're always drinking brandy so I thought I'd try it out. I want to be just like you, Unkie Shinon!" Rolf said happily.

Shinon didn't know what to say to that so he chose to just ignore the blasted brat. He continued to tighten the bowstring. Truthfully, he didn't mind letting Rolf try the drink. Hey, if that's what this messed up kid wants, whatever. However, he had no reason to give Rolf any, and plus, Oscar would probably try to run him over with his pony if he found out.

"So, um, Uncle Shinon, is it alright?" Rolf asked uncertainly.

"Of course not," Shinon replied. "For one thing, Oscar will want to cook me for the mercenaries' supper. He'll never catch me, obviously, but taking him down will, I admit, take some time. Plus, if you really want to drink it so badly, you've got to give me something in return."

"Like what?" Rolf asked.

The sniper shrugged. "I don't know, use your imagination. Think about what people want. Now will you let me fix my bow in peace?"

He meant it as a dismissal but instead, Rolf sat on Shinon's worktable and pestered on. "Well, Mist told me she'd like a bouquet of flowers—"

"Oh yes, send me roses, Rolf, 'cause that'll give you brandy." Shinon said sarcastically, unable to continue working on his bow because Rolf's butt was sitting on half of it. "Why not throw in a sappy poem and a kiss? That's the key to every man's heart." Shaking his head exasperatedly, Shinon added. "Look, run along, you, and we'll discuss this further at dinner. I'm getting pissed as it is with your nonsensical blabbing. And get off my bow already!"

"Right, sorry, Uncle Shinon." Rolf apologized sincerely and hopped off the table.

He glanced down and discovered furiously that Rolf had snapped his bow in half from his weight. "Hey!" Shinon glanced up to yell at Rolf but the kid had already scampered happily away. "Rolf, get back here! Look what you did to my bow!" That kid needs to go on a diet.

"See you at dinner, Uncle Shinon," was Rolf's only reply. "Thanks for allowing me to try brandy!"

As if, Shinon thought, watching Rolf skip away. There's no way in Goldoa Rolf will ask me again with his brothers there.

Man was Shinon so wrong. Not only did Rolf bring it up again during supper, he dared to go a little further...

Drinking deeply from his cup of brandy, Shinon suspected nothing until Rolf sang annoyingly. "Special delivery to Unkie Shinon!" Peering up at the kid, Shinon choked and paled like the moon. Rolf was holding an enormous bouquet of fresh red roses while grinning widely.

Shinon was furious. You dickweed! He cursed. I was kidding about the flowers!

"Why do you have a lot of roses, Rolf?" Boyd piped up curiously. Everybody at dinner halted their conversations to look at Rolf.

"These?" Rolf said. They're for Uncle Shinon."

Shinon wanted to slowly and repeatedly knock his forehead against the nearest wall. Dead silence followed Rolf's words. Then, Mia piped. "As in, you're proposing to him?"

"No, they're just a gift Shinon wanted." Rolf (stupidly) revealed. It was then that Shinon confirmed Rolf would die in a gutter this week.

Gatrie leaned over and teased. "For Shinon? I didn't know you had such girly taste. Is that why you don't cut your hair?"

"Shut up, Gatrie," Shinon hissed. "Here, have a muffin." He shoved a chocolate muffin into Gatrie's mouth, rendering the big guy incapable of further speech. "Rolf, what are you doing?" He hissed.

"D-doesn't Shinon like flowers?" Rolf asked, his happy face wilting. Shinon hated hearing that upset tone.

"Ah, see Shinon?" Mist said. "You're making Rolf sad! You big meenie!"

Shinon merely glared at Mist. Oh but of course, anyone with Ike's blood would be a jerk as well.

"Just accept the flowers, Shinon." Soren said, bored. "Rolf went through the trouble of picking those for you. Show some consideration. That's the problem with you."

"Excuse me?" Shinon snarled at the tactician. "They're roses, for the goodness in Ashera. They're—aw man, stop crying, Rolf! Jeez," Shinon gritted his teeth. "Quit sniffling, the flowers are l-lovely."

"Really?" Rolf asked hopefully, his dewy eyes imploring at Shinon with a very close imitation to his puppy eyes. Don't look directly at him, Shinon coached, staring vigorously at Rolf's shoes. Wow his shoes are tiny. What are they, size four?

"The flowers smell so nice. They're great." Shinon lied. He flicked a pea at a laughing Rhys. The vegetable smacked the healer dead in the forehead.

"Seriously?" Rolf exclaimed excitedly. Well at least he isn't crying anymore. "Great, I also made you a poem! Roses are red, violets—"

"Don't push it, kid." Shinon snarled. He wasn't in any mood to listen to Rolf's sappy, D-graded poetry. "Just get back to your meal already."

"Aw, but didn't you want me to kiss you too?" Rolf cried.

At these words, Boyd barfed his recently-consumed food over Mist's plate; Mist poked her face with her fork; Rhys fainted (o_O) Titania fell out of her chair, her huge red braid knocking into and taking down Soren; Ike dribbled water down his shirt; Oscar dropped chilli peppers on his pants and Mia was scooped up by an eagle and carried to Russia! (Okay, no, she actually just started laughing her head off and couldn't stop laughing for a long, long while)

"Shinon!" Boyd thundered. "You wanted Rolf to kiss you?" His voice reached a falsetto shriek that Shrieky from CareBears would've envied. "How dare you corrupt our little brother with your perverted, gay teachings! I demand we put him in a rubber room!"

"W-wait, Boyd," Oscar interrupted. "I'm sure there's some explanation for Shinon wanting Rolf to kiss him."

"Like what? To disinfect Rolf's mouth?" Mia asked, dumbfounded.

"I didn't actually expect Rolf to do it." Shinon argued, now flaming red. Seriously, his face could've camouflaged itself with his hair. "He just wanted a sip of brandy."

"BRANDY? WHAT?" Oscar shouted, his eyes snapping open. Everybody's stomachs dropped. It was an unspoken rule: Oscar with his eyes open is NOT a happy Oscar.

(I just realized I forgot Gatrie's reaction. Hm, let's see, a buffalo stampede ran him over, leaving him in a coma. We send our sincere regards, Gatrie. Hope you feel better soon!)

"Well, Uncle Shinon said he'd give me some." Rolf shrugged. Oh Ashera, this is going to be a loud night, Shinon prophesized.

"What?! Shinon, Rolf is fifteen!" Ike stressed the age. "You want him to kiss you and get him drunk too? Are you trying to woo him or something?"

"No! I NEVER promised Rolf I'd feed him alcohol." Shinon cried resolutely.

Rolf suddenly looked betrayed. "Eh? But Unkie Shinon!"

"Nuh-uh, kiddo!" Shinon chided. "You're an annoying, neon-coloured brat who definitely does not deserve my attention. In fact," Shinon suddenly smirked widely as he scooped up his glass of brandy, "I'm going to drink this right in front of you so you feel the entire burn." Shinon began to drink deeply from his cup and slowly licked his lips. "Mmm!" He mmmed pointedly. "And you don't get any!"

"Shinon, that's rather—" Titania began but the next second, nobody could speak for Rolf had thrown himself onto Shinon and crushed his lips against the sniper's. Wide-eyed, Shinon toppled out of his chair, Rolf still glued to his mouth. Now they were both lying on the floor, Rolf on top of Shinon, kissing him sloppily.

At first, Shinon couldn't respond. It took him a while to register the warm feeling on his lips was Rolf. However, his senses returned when Rolf's tongue began poking his way into Shinon's mouth, searching for any hints of brandy. Shinon "mmphed" and tried to get the clingy boy off but Rolf's lessons in archery were finally paying off. Plus, shock still addled Shinon's limbs from moving properly.

In the end, Shinon gave up and allowed Rolf to explore his mouth. It wasn't too bad—the feeling was warm and surprisingly not disgusting, though the kid needed some lessons on kissing. There was a giggle from behind that sounded vaguely like Mist. Shinon suddenly realized the scene everyone was witnessing. Not only was Rolf smooching Shinon, but in his situation, Rolf was being the seme (A/N: definition: the dominant partner in a yaoi couple)! Unforgiveable!

"Um, um, Rolf?" Oscar spoke nervously. "If you just wanted brandy, you could've asked your brother or me. Not glomp Shinon and initiate a make out scene-HEY!"

At that moment, Shinon shifted positions. He shoved Rolf on his back and was now the one with the roaming tongue. Rolf blushed and tried to pull away but Shinon refused to let go. He began to slowly unbutton Rolf's shirt—all restraints holding him down were lifted.

Before reaching the last button, there was a swishing noise and Shinon, breaking off the kiss, threw himself and Rolf over to one side as Boyd's axe descended. "Oi! Quit stripping our brother, you-you gay thing!" Boyd snarled.

Shinon frowned at this intrusion. He was beginning to enjoy himself with Rolf. Rolf slowly sat up, expression still astonished as his shirt still open. Mia and Mist were still giggling about what had just occurred.

"Shut up and get a woman already, Boyd." Shinon said monotonously. He suddenly picked Rolf up bridal style and smirked. "I've got some unfinished business to attend to."

"Hold it, what are you going to do to Rolf?" Oscar cried scrambling to his feet.

"Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that." Shinon said vaguely. He looked down at Rolf. "I have to punish this kid for embarrassing me just before enjoy dinner without us!" And with that, he ran out of the dining hall, Boyd and Oscar's outcries following.

After sprinting to a safe hiding spot in the forest, Shinon set Rolf down on the ground. "Man you caused me a lot of grief today." He scowled.

Rolf bit his lip. "Sorry, Uncle Shinon." He apologized. He never wanted to be a hassle for Shinon.

"Why are you so keen on trying out brandy?"

"I said already, I wanted to be like you, Uncle Shinon." Rolf replied, rubbing a mark in the sand with his toe. "I really admire what you do."

Sighing, Shinon said. "Still, if you're going to copy me, don't copy the drunken part of me. I'm fine with you getting your archery skills to my level."

"But it's taking so long!" Rolf cried, frustrated. "I'm always one centimetre away from the bulls-eye, and I can't hit moving targets as well as you do."

"Quit being impatient," Shinon reprimanded. "Do you think I got this good in one day? I spent twenty-five years of my life working on the bow."

Rolf slowly brightened. "Really?"

Shinon let a small smile slide onto his face. "Keep practicing your archery, your pace is decent for an archer," he instructed, "and within ten years, I'll get to acknowledge you as a sniper just as great as I am." This seemed to cheer Rolf up a lot. "What was with the kiss just a few minutes ago?"

"Hm? Oh," Rolf blushed. "Well, I really wanted to try the brandy and...yeah."

The red-haired sniper felt there was something else Rolf meant to say. "And...what?" He smirked. "Anything else I'd like to know?"

There was a pause before Rolf, not looking at Shinon, said. "I don't admire you. I...love you...a lot."

And that's probably the most I'll be able to get out of this green-haired boy. Shinon commanded. "Rolf, look up." The boy glanced up and brightened even more when Shinon pressed his lips gently on Rolf's soft ones.

He pulled away after a minute and asked casually, as though nothing just happened. "So how did the brandy taste?"

"Oh that," Rolf swallowed, trying to talk normally. "It was horrible—how can you drink that stuff? I'm glad I don't have to copy that habit anymore."

Shinon laughed. "Well, whatever, I still have to punish you for your actions." Shinon smirked and he trapped Rolf's body against a tree with his arms. Rolf's eyes widened. "Let's see, what should I do with you?" He traced lines up and down Rolf's exposed chest, earning him a gasp and a squirm. Shinon tightened his hold.

"Maybe you'll let me go?" Rolf suggested brightly.

Shinon laughed. "Not a chance, you were the brat who kissed me just a few minutes ago. You have to owe up to your actions. I'm going to teach you a valuable lesson, kid." He ran his finger gently Rolf's lips and then roughly captured the boy's lips, kissing him with more force and passion.

Rolf briefly closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his teacher's neck. Breaking apart, he asked nervously. "What are you planning to do?"

Leaning down so Rolf could clearly see his wolfish grin, Shinon replied. "Why don't you use your imagination? I'll give you a hint." He ripped off Rolf's shirt, leaving him only in his pants. "Your brothers are going to yell at me for making you limp tomorrow."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

And that, ladies and gentlemen (are there any out there?), is the end. This is my first fanfiction story, so it might've been a little crappy? Please read and review with your comments and tell me whether my first one-shot was a success! See you around!

With love, CookieCreamXP