I've come too far to take orders from a cookie
- favorite quote among anorexics.
Alice Brandon flushed the toilet, brushed her teeth, wiped her eyes, and unlocked the bathroom door.
She was able to walk out like nothing had ever happened, thanks to years and years of practice. This had been going on ever since she was eight or nine, starving herself until she couldn't take it any more, then eating and eating until she ended up in the bathroom with a toothbrush stuck down her throat.
On an Ana day (short for anorexia) she was able to forget about hunger, totally turn off the part of her mind that sent suck signals. This once went on for five days with her only drinking green tea and diet soda.
On a Mia day (short for bulimia) she was and would be hungry no matter what, she usually couldn't stop herself until about two thousand calories or more, then the shame caused her to walk into the bathroom calmly, pluck a toothbrush from the holder, and shove it down her mouth, until her well tarnished gag reflex kicked in and forced it up again.
Most people would think Alice hated her life, but she really actually liked her lifestyle. She would not be able to handle it, however, if she was fat like some of her classmates, and still cramming food down her throat. She much more liked the way she did things. After all, nothing tasted as good as being skinny felt.
And she was skinny. Her ribs were all showing vibrantly, and her arms and legs looked like they could snap at any time. Her hair was thin, and if you looked closely in her mouth, you would see the white blisters and rough and discolored teeth from all the stomach acids that passed through her mouth. The teeth part sucked, but it was nothing compared to what she would like if she was fat.
Alice sat down at her computer after she was done with her purge. She needed to talk to someone badly, she just wasn't having a good day.
She logged onto her favorite pro- eating disorder forum, and clicked to the sites instant messager, shifting through her contact list of friends she had met here. If it wasn't for them, she might have gone to recovery by now, and that thought scared her. She could keep this up for the rest of her life. Thankfully, her best friend on this website, Rosalie, was online, and Alice quickly typed her an instant message, which was responded to within minutes.
Rosalie: Hey
Alice: What's up?
Rosalie: nothing good
Alice: Wanna talk?
Rosalie: i gained like 5 pounds
Alice: HOW THE HELL DID U DO THAT IN ONE DAY?!
Rosalie: i woke up in the middle of the night & couldn't help it
Alice: We all have our moments
Rosalie: I'm gonna be obese
Alice: will not, i wont let u
Rosalie: Thanks Mia lover
Alice: Ana follower
Rosalie: Purge-alcoholic
Alice: chew it up & spit it out
Rosalie: ok, lets stop b4 we kill each other
Alice: Ok
Rosalie: i g2g, ttyl
Alice: c ya
Alice singed out of the forum after a few minutes of checking around the boards to see who answered what, and too see if she could find a new diet to try out. She was done with eating whatever whenever she could force herself during an Ana phase, but none of them seemed very good for her.
Alice had tried everything possible since she was nine, even diet pills. She lost a lot of weight on the pills, but the clerk at the pharmacy wouldn't sell them too her, so she would have to steal them, and only ever worked up the courage to ever steal one bottle. The last fifteen pills were still folded up in a sheet of paper and hiden in her desk, in case the time came when she bacame desperate once again, she had something to fall back , she would take a pill and just roll it in her fingers, amazed at how such a little thing could bring such good luck to her. With one bottle, she had dropped all most twenty pounds. Then, one of her parents would knock on her door, and she would shove the pill wherever she could so that they didn't see it when they opened the door a second later. One time, the only place she could think of right away was her mouth, and once in, it had been swallowed. She hadn't meant to do it, but she loved the feeling it gace her, either way.
It made her feel like she was going above and beyond the call of duty to lose weight, and the next time she looked in the mirror, she could all most like what she saw.
Hey reader!
Thank you for reading this short little chapter, a review would be wonderful (:
Just a warning: I've had a very dark past with eating disorders, and this story is a way to vent so I don't go back. This means, Alice and Rosalie will NOT be having the best time in a little while, it's so I talk myself into not listening to the part of me that will always love being skinny.
And for all of you that are confused: Anorexia got the name 'Ana' by splitting Ano/exia, and giving it the 'a' sound you hear. Bulimia was spilt Buli/MIA. They are much more commonly called Ana and Mia as people than a disease.
And 'chew it up and spit it out' is a little trick some anorexics like, you chew some food, but don't swallow it, just spit it back out, that way, you satisfy cravings, but only swallow a bit.
You can hate me or think whatever you want about me for my past, but I felt it was more important for you to know where I am coming from and what this means to me. I am not looking for sympathy, and would prefer you didn't take my past out on my story, thank you.
Thank you for reading, it means a lot.