Disclaimer: Don't own!

Author's Note: Inspiration struck me as I was rereading Kakashi's past (poor Obito…*sob*) Still working on all my other stories, but right now I'm exhausted from a sudden death ninja dodgeball war in the pool with my brother and I can't think too hard. I bought Tenchu: Shadow Assassins for the Wii and I loved it, except for the part that you can't crouch. That bothered me. Oh, and Happy Independence Day to anyone celebrating!

-~-~-~-~-~

"Grief never ends. It's just something you learn to live with." Magiere (Rebel Fay)

-~-~-~-~-~-

Sometimes Kakashi can't breathe.

It's not because he's in danger, or because he's injured, although it has happened. He likes to think that it's just some old injury in his side acting up again and ignores the voice deep in the recesses in his mind that reminds him that the only side that he couldn't breathe through was through the left. Sometimes he likes to entertain the thought that it's this new, war-free world that the new generations are living in that steal away his breath.

He's always been a good liar. Especially to himself.

He's still notoriously late, though the nightmares aren't coming as often now. But that's perhaps because he exhausts himself for a few days, sometimes not sleeping for a few days, so that the evil dreams won't come.

But they'll come anyway.

Kakashi doesn't think he could ever forget Obito, even if it wasn't for the crimson eye that greeted him every time he looked in the mirror. He likes to lie to himself that it isn't because of Obito that his left lung doesn't always work. And maybe it's not Obito's fault, but it happens. He could be relaxing, simply lying in bed, and he'll find his breathing become shallow and strained.

Kakashi wished he didn't know how having an asthma attack feels.

He always forced himself to think that asthma wasn't that bad. That this was how half of your body being crushed by a ton of boulders felt.

Sometimes he can hear Obito's thoughts. Why didn't you teach her properly? What about sensei's son? Are you forgetting about him? No, of course he wasn't. He'd promised and he kept his promises…That's my nephew you're teaching. Can't you help him? Guide him down the right way? He'd tried, he really had. But Sasuke…he hadn't wanted help.
Kakashi was an only child, an only cousin, if there's such a thing. He had no family, so he'd never really had anyone teach him to share everything. But now he was, quite literally, sharing everything.

Every breath.

Every sight.

Every moment.

And he doesn't mind, most of the time. It was company on the lonely nights. And he pretends not to be grateful every time Gai wakes him from sleep by jerking open the curtains and letting light flood the room. Because they're rivals and they're not supposed to have keys to each others' apartments and Kakashi's not supposed to care. So he can't care.

He can't care when he feels a rattling breath he knows isn't his.

Can't care when he sees something with more touches of red than there were and when the shadows get darker than they really were.

Can't care every time he remembers nightmares that he knows aren't his. (Because Kakashi remembers all of his nightmares.)

Can't care when he sees blood on his hands that is his.

Tsunade had offered to remove the eye before, when the stress shows in the eye that is his and not shared and hopefully would never be shared because he would never wish this kind of guilt trip on anyone. But he turns her down every time because he made a promise and he kept his promises.

Sometimes Kakashi can't breathe.

Kakashi is having difficulty whether he likes that or not.