"Five times Spock told Kirk to shut up and the one time Kirk kissed him. "

Author- Pika-Safire

Rating – PG

Summary – prompt taken from the Star Trek kink meme : "Seven times Spock told Kirk to shut-up and the one time Kirk kissed him". Altered, as you can see from the title, to five times, coz seven was an awful lot. Reboot 'verse. Obviously.

A/N – Part Three written by Yiddibot. Tom-Cat, for something that was originally written as a laugh, has actually gotten an awesome response. It will be continued and finished, I'm just taking the time to clean it up at the moment, y'know, so it's less terrible. This was written at 2am by the way – I'm kinda hoping it makes sense…

*

ONE

Jim sighed, kicking his foot against the floor to give his command chair another spin. He was so bored.

There had been no Klingons, no Romulans, no weird space-creatures trying to eat him, like they seemed to try to do on a fairly frequent basis. He'd done all of his reports, been banned from the med-bay for annoying Bones and everyone interesting was working. Y'know, except for him.

"Hey, Spock?" he says, after another long, boring period of silence.

He could practically feel the irritation at being interrupted yet again radiating off his First Officer, "Yes, Captain?"

"Can you have a planet with an ice core?"

Spock sighed inwardly, another round of pointless questions. "Jim," he started, "perhaps you would like to see if everything is functioning correctly in Engineering?"

"Can't. Scotty says if I go down there again today, he'll make the replicator only give me peas for the next week," he makes a face, "I hate peas."

"Then perhaps Doctor McCoy would appreciate your assistance in the Medical Bay?"

"Can't" Jim says despondently, "He'll stab me with another hypo-spray," he winces and touches a tender mark on his neck, "once a day is enough for any man."

Spock mentally rolls his eyes, turns back to his scanner. Perhaps ignoring him would work.

Five minutes later, "Hey, Spock?"

"Yes, Captain?" Spock says, through nearly gritted teeth.

"Y'know those rock animal things on that last really boring planet we went to?"

"Yes."

"You reckon they -"

"Captain?"

Jim stopped startled, Spock NEVER interrupted. "Yes, Spock?"

"Shut-up."

And Jim did.

TWO

The cell they're in can't be anymore than maybe 6 feet square.

Jim stands at the bars and has been shouting obscenities for the last half hour, despite the fact their captors departed long ago. " –yellow bellied cowards! Come back here and face me like a … whatever the hell you are!"

"Jim," Spock sounds exhausted, and Jim abandons his post with a last glare at the bars and moves to kneel in front of him, touching the greening bruise on the side of Spock's face with a tenderness Spock isn't expecting.

"Yes? What is it?"

"Shut-up."

Jim smiles, shifts so his back is back to the wall and they're sitting side by side, arms touching.

"Alright."

THREE

Jim Kirk was restless. And a restless Jim was loud.

The hiss of the door opening, "Hey, do you want to play chess?"

Spock looks up from the desk in his quarters, and inwardly sighs. Although he knows the Captain requires override abilities for all staff quarters, he wishes that Jim isn't quite so eager to abuse the privilege. "Certainly, if you are prepared to wait until I have finished my work."

Jim nods with a grin, stepping inside to lean again the screen between the sleeping quarters and the living area to watch Spock work. He hummed a tune under his breath, a favourite of Chekov's – the damn kid had been humming it all day.

Spock cleared his throat. "Quietly, Captain."

"Sorry," he heaves a sigh and moves to the small bookcase in the far of the room, examining the books with a cursory eye. Then back to the desk, picking up a stray stylus and twirling it between his fingers.

Spock looks up from his spot at the computer and raises an eyebrow, "is something bothering you?"

"Nah, just restless" Jim sighs again but stops fiddling, sinking into the chair opposite his First Officer. He rests his chin on his arms and taps a nonsensical rhythm on the desk, his leg jittering restlessly in time.

"Captain?" Spock interrupts "Would you kindly cease that noise?"

Jim stops mid-tap and looks up guiltily. "Sorry."

Spock just turns back to his work. Jim crosses his arms and slouches in the chair. He picks up the stylus Spock had abandoned, mindlessly twirling it in his fingers it until Spock reaches over and snatches it out of Jim's hands without even looking up.

"Stop it," he demands, moving the stylus out of Jim's reach.

Jim pouts and opens his mouth to argue, stopping at the look on Spock's face. He crosses his arms and rocks back on his chair instead, the creak filling the silence of the room.

"Captain, perhaps you would like to use the board in the recreation room? If you would like to go ahead and set up the board in preparation, I shall be along shortly."

"Nah, I'm good here," Jim says absently, pulling a stray piece of paper towards him and fashioning an old style paper plane, "Hey, Spock – did you ever-"

"Jim?"

"Yeah?" Jim looked at Spock questioningly.

"Shut up"

Jim grins, as though he was expecting this and stands, "I'll go set up that board, shall I?"

Spock watches him leave, feeling perplexed. Did he miss something?

FOUR

Spock watches Jim greet the Enhytan's smiling courteously and kneeling in order to receive the customary greeting of a head-pat.

"I am pleased to welcome your contingent as Federation Representatives."

Jim gives an accepting nod, "we thank you for your hospitality. We hope for negotiations to be beneficial to both of us."

A somewhat belated "Shut-up, Jim!" hissed from Spock is the only warning he gets before things suddenly turn very nasty.

Well, how was he supposed to remember that mentioning negotiations before sundown was an executable offence?

FIVE

"How long do you reckon it'll take them to find us?"

"I estimate anywhere between six and twelve hours." Spock says, sitting down, leaning up against a rock and closing his eyes.

"Huh, how do you figure that?"

"Captain, it has been a tiring day. Perhaps we should try to sleep until communications are functioning again."

"No way! What if something eats us?"

"I have been unable to detect any hostile life-forms within radius."

"Yeah, but you thought that about Delta Vega too."

"An incident for which I have already apologised."

"Yeah, but the point is, I am an edible person." Jim appears to consider that statement, "by which I mean, things like to try and eat me." He appears to think on this further and Spock breaths a silent sigh of relief for the few minutes of blessed silence, "though, I am also attractive, so I guess it works both ways. Hey, Spock, you're an attractive guy, how often do things try to eat you?"

"I do not follow, Captain."

"Well, maybe there's a formula there – maybe attractive people have a higher rate of being eaten." He smirks to himself, "in both senses of the word."

"Captain, I am trying to sleep."

Jim continues like he hadn't heard, "coz, you know, maybe they should stop sending us attractive people out."

"Perhaps they should just stop sending out those unable to follow even their own orders."

"Ouch, Spock."

Spock gives him the eyebrow, "sleep would be logical, Captain."

"No way am I sleeping until I'm back, safe, in my quarters."

"Very well."

Spock closes his eyes again, shifting to get comfortable. Knowing Jim's looming over him is disconcerting and he can feel eyes staring at him. "Please sit down and stop examining me."

Jim laughs a little and settles next to him against the rock, squirming close to keep warm, "Aw, Spock, I knew you cared."

"Jim, I would appreciate it if you would 'shut-up.'"

Spock lets himself smile as Jim quakes with silent laughter beside him.

"Yeah, alright."

AND THE ONE TIME KIRK KISSED HIM

The party is in full swing – there are delegates galore from almost every planet in the Federation, ample wine and food that is actually edible for once.

Bones and Scotty have set up camp next to the drinks table, Scotty gesturing wildly, talking about the Enterprise, no doubt to a delegate who looks rather like he's rather be elsewhere. Bones converses quietly with someone Spock recognises as the CMO of the Endevour. If Spock scans the room, he would be able to spot the rest of the bridge crew, drinking and chatting, but currently, his eyes are locked on the Captain.

Jim has been ignoring him. Well, no, that's not precisely true. He's been meeting Spock's eyes frequently throughout the evening, searching and watching until Spock looks up, conscious of the stare that's burning through him. But not once has Jim made an attempt to talk. Jim's made the effort to talk to many of the delegates and Spock knows he should be pleased that he's finally taking these events seriously, but it seems to Spock that Jim has found every eligible (and several non-eligible) female life form in attendance and is flirting outrageously with all of them and then meeting Spock's eyes as if to make sure he's watching.

So when Jim finally saunters over, looking smug and pleased with himself, Spock is not in the mood for pleasantries. "You've been … 'baiting' me." He states, without even a 'good evening'.

Jim grins, "I would never do such a thing, Spock, you wound me."

"You have. And I wish to know why."

"Jealousy becomes you Spock."

"I am not jealous. Jealousy is illogical."

"Really?" Kirk sounds dubious.

"You are my Captain and my friend. I am not your keeper, nor do I wish to be. Indeed, you are free to make acquaintances with who you wish, despite their suitabi-"

"Spock?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Shut-up." And suddenly, Jim's hands are on either side of his face and soft lips are touching his own and Spock realises Jim is kissing him.

He returns the kiss hesitantly, uncertain as to why their relationship has suddenly taken a jump. A welcome jump, but Spock is unable to determine why. Did he miss something?

He's momentarily distracted by the whistles and cat-calls that suddenly fill the room, and Jim pulls away with a dazzling smile, "alright?" he asks, somewhat tentatively.

Spock nods, rewarded with another grin and Jim leans forward, pressing another quick kiss to his lips, "I'll be back in a bit – don't go anywhere, alright?"

Jim turns to his crew, "alright, move along! Nothing to see here," he laughs, ushering Bones and Scotty back to the drinks table, chatting amicably.

Jim eyes still search out Spock when he flirts but Spock knows now that the flirting is just for him. And at the end of the night on the walk back to their lodgings, Jim chatters away about the people he met and the girls he talked to until Spock is forced to stop in the middle of the path.

"Jim," he says, suddenly understanding.

Jim stops as well, eyeing him curiously as Spock steps forward, close enough to touch.

"Shut-up." Spock says and kisses him.

Jim just laughs into Spock's mouth and returns the kiss. "For you? Gladly."