Author's Note - Welcome to another Golden Duo Production! Sit back, kick your heels up, and enjoy the newest addition to our growing body of work.

Summary - Hermione heard the scratching through her sleep, and set out to find the cause. Joined by her two handsome housemates, the search took a turn she least expected...but enjoyed nonetheless - Part 1 of 5

For the Love of Nargles

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

Hermione Granger groaned slightly, her face screwed up as she turned into her the downy softness of her pillow. Her mind was waging an inner war, unwilling to accept that she was awake and it wasn't morning but unable to fall back into the peaceful slumber she had just barely achieved an hour earlier. What in Merlin's name had…

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

She sighed, unable to ignore the noise that had pulled her from her extremely pleasant yet highly inappropriate images of her body being ravished by a certain werewolf. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to bring back the images of the beautiful half-naked man, the silvery-white scars on his chest glistening in the moonlight, his eyes flashing a dangerous amber. Her efforts, however, were in vain as the scratching sounding again, seeming louder than before.

Opening her eyes to the pressing darkness the third floor room of Grimmauld Place offered, she scanned the shadows for the source of her irritation. Noting that nothing seemed amiss within her inner sanctuary, she felt it was safe enough to sit up. Muttering a quiet lumos, she gave the room another thorough sweep, her confusion and frustration growing as the scratching echoed several more times.

Her curiosity getting the better of her, Hermione stretched, swinging her legs out from the heavy covers. The general stillness next to her made her look over her shoulder at her companion, scowling slightly at his prone frame. Sirius Black, best described as her 'friend with amazing benefits,' lay sprawled across the bed, completely oblivious to the insistent noise. The fact that he could sleep so soundly through something that loud when she couldn't was enough to make her want to hex him into the next year.

"Sirius!" she hissed, waving her lit wand near his face. His nose scrunched up and he frowned, but didn't wake up.

"Sirius!" she huffed as the scratching sounded again. She poked him hard in the shoulder with the tip of her wand; all he did was mumble something about five more minutes.

Rolling her eyes and becoming increasingly irritated, she tried one last time:

"Sirius! Wake up!"

The Animagus snuffled and just when she thought she was actually going to have to hex him awake, his arm shot out and she found herself being dragged back into the bed. His heavily tattooed arm slung across her waist, his hand snaking up to grope her bare breast. He threw a leg over her thighs, effectively trapping her beneath him.

"Sleep," he mumbled into her ear, rubbing his nose further into her unruly curls, finding a comfortable position.

"How can you sleep through that noise?" she asked. As if to punctuate her words, the scratching sounded again, much louder this time.

"Not me, you," he replied, letting out a puff of air.

"Sirius! There is something in the walls," she hissed.

"Probably the Nargles."

His reply was faint and moments later he let out another soft snore.

Gritting her teeth and gripping her wand tight, she clawed her way out from under him and sat back with a huff. Her glare alone should have set his eyebrows on fire, but the oblivious man slept on. Slipping out of bed and into the short nightgown she had been wearing before Sirius's spontaneous midnight visit, she decided she would find the other man of the house, hoping he would see reason.

Surely Remus, of all people, would not take her worries quite so cavalierly.

Gripping the hem of the semi-inappropriate night time attire, Hermione crept down the hall towards Remus's room. She wondered half-way down the hall if she should turn back to get a dressing gown, but decided against it as the naughty side of her brain reminded her that the scant clothing might jump start an encounter similar to the one her debauched brain had played out for her only minutes earlier. Renewed, Hermione stopped in front of Remus's door, knocking softly.

When she heard silence from the other side of the heavy door, she arched an eyebrow. Sirius had come into her room around midnight. Their naughty behaviour had lasted a good hour, followed by the hour of sleep Hermione managed to get before the damn scratching started. Even Remus, who was by nature a night prowler, would have at least cloistered himself in his room by 2 am. Struck by the slightly evil revelation that she might catch him in a state of immodesty, the curious Cheshire cat within the mischievous witch grinned broadly and she swung the door open swiftly.

She was highly disappointed by the emptiness that greeted her.

Deciding that he had probably gone down to the kitchen, Hermione headed in that direction, tiptoeing past the portrait of Mrs. Black and cringing slightly as her bare foot hit the creaky second step. Luckily, the belligerent painting remained unaware of her presence and the young woman was able to slip through the kitchen door without the fanfare of a tirade of expletives.

A smirk formed on her face at the sight before her.

Remus Lupin, topless and ridiculously good-looking, was hunched over the left-over chocolate cake from dinner. Having foregone the use of utensils, Remus was munching happily from the cake platter, contentedly scooping bits of cake up with his hands. Hermione licked her lips as she briefly imagined herself as those fingers, his tongue curling around them sensually before running over his lips to catch any stray crumbs.

When he went for another bite she couldn't hold back her groan, and his head whipped around to look at her. His cheeks flushed at being caught in such a pose before his amber eyes darkened, gazing unabashedly over her barely-covered body. Hermione felt a wave of heat rush through her body. While she adored Sirius - and found him more than adequate in the bedroom - she had always held something of a lustful crush on the seemingly-quiet, dry Marauder. She supposed it was the occasional feral look he cast her, especially close to the full moon, mixed with the erotic brilliance he often showed during their many intellectual discussions.

She had no doubt that Remus was definitely a man worth seducing.

"Hermione," Remus said, rushing to the sink to wash his chocolate-covered hands. "What brings you down here so late?"

"Other than a craving for a piece of mutilated chocolate cake?" she teased, nodding toward the nearly unrecognizable lump of the dark brown confection.

His blush deepened.

"I couldn't find a fork," he murmured.

Hermione arched an eyebrow, glancing wordlessly at the rack of drying cutlery beside the kitchen sink before walking over to the table and took the seat beside him. From her close proximity she could see that his flush had moved down his neck and his Adam's apple bobbed once before his gaze returned to the ruined cake.

"What's got you up at this late hour?" she asked, returning his earlier question. She dipped a finger in the chocolaty mess in front of her and sucked her finger clean as she waited for his answer.

Remus' eyes seemed glued to her mouth as he squeaked, "I-" He cleared his throat and tried again. "I couldn't sleep."

"Did that noise wake you up too? I tried to get Sirius to hear it but he is being pretty unresponsive," she stated, grateful she wasn't the only one being deprived of her hard-earned forty winks. "He told me it was probably Nargles..."

"Nargles?" Remus interrupted her, his eyes finally leaving her mouth to look into her eyes with incredulity.

Hermione gave an earnest nod.

"Yes, the noise. There is something in the walls. But it certainly isn't Nargles."

"Noise? Nargles?"

Heaving a great sigh, she gave him an exasperated look. She wondered if she was starting to loose her mind briefly.

"The noise upstairs. Surely that's why you are down here. It's keeping you awake, too."

"No, sorry, Hermione. I was just trying to give you and Sirius some privacy. In your haste you once again forgot silencing charms," he explained, giving her a hard glare. This was softened, however, by the blush that seemed permanently fixed to his face.

Hermione had the good grace to look mortified before her mind turned back to the Nargles – or rather, the noise upstairs. Nargles only existed in the mind of a girl who also believed that if she sprinkled enough fairy dust in the air, she too could fly like Peter Pan.

"So let me get this straight. There is a noise upstairs and you don't know what it is?" he confirmed, thoroughly disarmed by the vixen sitting in nothing more than a scrap of silk before him.

"Yes!" she cried, looking frustrated and if possible even more dishevelled. Her hair practically cackled with electricity.

"Well, let's have a listen then," he said, scraping his chair back from the table, waiting for her to follow him. The poor, destroyed chocolate cake was left forgotten.

Hermione and Remus left the warm glow of the kitchen and crept into the hallway, taking the first few steps with utmost precaution. Hermione let out a sigh when she cleared the first landing, but cringed when Remus did not. By reasoning beyond her, she had somehow managed – not once, but twice – to avoid tripping over the travelling cloak that had fallen from its resting place on the railing.

Unfortunately, her companion had not.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion as Hermione felt the pause of pure silence before black curtains against the wall flew open and the maniacal rantings of the deranged dead woman were heard throughout the house. Hermione clamped her hands over her ears as both she and Remus pounced upon the silk hangings, the words of Mrs. Black flowing remorselessly into their ears.

"Mudbloods! Werewolves! Filth! Disgracing the house of my fathers!"

"Your house was disgraced long before we showed up, you crazy old bat!" Hermione shouted at the painting as she struggled to disentangle herself from the cloak on the floor that she had managed to trip over in her haste for the curtains in spite of her success in avoiding them earlier.

"How dare you?!" the woman screamed. "How dare you insult your superiors you filthy little..."

"Oi!" Sirius's voice called, and the two struggling inhabitants looked up to see a dishevelled, angry pureblood glaring at his mother from the upstairs landing. "Shut up, you horrible woman!"

"You are a shame to your ancestors!" screeched the painting, her disembodied spirit growing angrier by the minute, especially at the sight of three beings decidedly lacking in clothing.

"You've just insulted my best friend and the woman I'm shagging in one sentence, mother, so shut up and go back to hell!" Sirius mumbled, rushing down the stairs to help Hermione.

"Shame! My own flesh and blood, consorting with the likes of --" but the three of them had managed to close the curtains before any more disparaging remarks on Sirius's character could be made.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?!" Sirius growled, turning his anger onto his two friends. "How long have you both lived here? You know this landing is trouble!"

"Well, if someone dished out the galleons to get it fixed..." Hermione said pointedly, arching her eyebrow at her lover.

Sirius sighed, running his hand through his shaggy locks.

"What are you two doing out of bed this late anyway?" he asked, and Hermione couldn't help but smirk at the hint of jealousy in his eyes.

"We're hunting Nargles," Remus deadpanned, crossing his arms. "Isn't that normal 2 am behaviour?"

Sirius, however, did not share his friend's mirth, but raised an interested eyebrow.

"Nargles? Really?" he asked curiously, gazing up the stairs.

"Sirius, he was kidding," Hermione said, slightly worried by the glint of mischief that was building in his eyes.

"What made you think of Nargles?" he asked, ignoring Hermione's worried gaze.

She rolled her eyes.

"You were the one who brought them up! When I told you about the noise."

"Did I really? How extraordinary of me," he mused.

"Do you listen to yourself when you speak? Ever?" she asked.

"Only if I'm paying particularly close attention."

"So that would be a 'no'," Remus clarified with a slight chuckle, and Hermione allowed herself a grin.

Their amusement was paused, however, as the same 'scratch scratch scratching' sound from earlier now caught all of their attention.

"See?!" Hermione said, gesturing wildly and almost hitting the curtains of Mrs. Black's painting. Remus, fearing for their ears and their egos, grasped her arms and pinned them to her sides before she could hit anything.

Sirius arched his eyebrow as he saw both his lover and his best friend shiver at the close contact. He didn't say anything however, merely continued arching his aristocratic brow and plastered a cocky grin on his face.

"So Nargles, eh?" he grinned, looking at his lover and trying not to laugh as her expression grew dark.

"You know very well they do not exist!" she hissed, picking up the travelling cloak and folding it neatly under her arm so none of them would trip on it again.

"Oh, I don't know…Luna makes a pretty convincing argument. And things do seem to be going missing around here lately," he goaded, stepping backwards up the step as they all moved away from the portrait lest it start shooting archaic pureblood slogans at them once again.

"Like what?" Remus asked, thinking about his own meagre possessions and if anything of his had been misplaced lately.

"My newspaper yesterday," Sirius claimed, "My favourite shirt hasn't been seen in days, I am sure I left a deck of cards in the library but they don't seem to be there anymore..."

He continued to enumerate before Hermione interrupted him.

"You threw your newspaper into the fire when you read about Puddlemere's loss last night, your favourite shirt has been pressed and is hanging up in your cupboard where I left it last week and the deck of cards was Harry's and he told you he was taking them back after a particularly bad loss on your part during the poker match two night ago that you seem to have forgotten in your perpetually drunken state."

Sirius opened and closed his mouth a few times before pouting.

"Bloody know-it-all," he muttered under his breath.

Hermione didn't want to admit that she, too, was missing a few things, none of which could be passed off as carelessness or fits of temper.

"Be that as it may," Remus interrupted before the two ended up in a shouting match. "That doesn't explain the noise."

"Maybe it's a ghoul?" Hermione guessed, staring at the walls with distaste.

"Impossible, the house is warded against them," Sirius scoffed, but also took a step back, knowing the nature of some ghouls was not so friendly.

"A rat?" Remus suggested.

"Too big," Sirius and Hermione chorused.

Their guessing game was interrupted by the scratching again, this time it seemed to be moving up the stairwell, inside the walls. They all tilted their heads, following the noise until it reached the landing and stopped.

"Well, it's definitely something," Hermione sighed, placing the cloak on the railing and brushing past Sirius. Remus followed closely on her heels and the two men followed her up.

Hermione produced her wand and stopped dead a three steps from the top. Sirius, who was forced to come to an abrupt halt behind her, grabbed her waist to stop himself from toppling backwards.

"Shhh," she hushed at Remus's quiet 'mmph' into the ancient railing.

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

"Maybe it wants us to follow?" Sirius whispered into her neck, as the scratching moved down the hallway, following the wall.

"The ghost of Lassie," Hermione chuckled, earning quizzical looks from both men.

"Lassie?" Remus asked softly in her ear as he walked up the stairs next to her, following an entirely-too-enthusiastic Sirius up the stairs.

"Muggle thing. Don't worry about it," she said with a warm smile. He responded with a sexy half-smile of his own, and Hermione worked very hard to convince her body to remain upright.

As she followed Sirius toward, predictably, her bedroom, she contemplated how she had come to stay with the two gorgeous older men by herself in the Noble House of Black. It had been a spontaneous decision, that was for certain, resulting in Molly Weasley's fifth attempt to corner Hermione into a date with yet another Weasley cousin.

It wasn't that Hermione hadn't been grateful to Mrs. Weasley for her kind invitation to stay at the Burrow upon her graduation from Hogwarts; she was infinitely grateful to the woman for rescuing her from what would have been a horrific existence living in Harry and Ron's London flat. Hermione was certain Molly could smell the stench of sweaty socks and moldy sandwiches on her robes when she flooed over to the Burrow after almost running for her life from the disgusting mess Harry and Ron seemed to have no problem existing in.

It seemed, however, that once Molly had ascertained that Hermione was not, under any circumstances, going to marry Ron, the older woman was bent on having Hermione join the family through whatever means necessary. After a very awkward dinner with Percy had resulted in George swooping in with a Skiving Snackbox to save Hermione from dying of boredom, Molly decided to turn outside of her immediate family and onto the Weasley cousins.

After Kissing Cousin Kenny, Hermione was nearly ready to switch her sexuality if it meant getting the good-intended, maddeningly-meddling witch off her back.

Sirius and Remus, having watched these proceedings with growing amusement, had taken pity on her and offered her one of the many empty bedrooms of Grimmauld Place. Despite Molly's reservations that a young woman should not be living with two older bachelors, Hermione had cited Eliza Dolittle - though the reference went over the older woman's head - and had moved out by sundown.

Hermione brought her attention back to her room, where Sirius and Remus were in the process of dismantling everything that wasn't nailed down.

"Oi!" she said when Sirius had thrown open the doors of her closet and started pulling out her robes. "What are you doing?"

"Hunting for Nargles," the raven-haired wizard replied cheekily, but one glare from her made him quickly put the robes back in the neat, orderly fashion he had found them.

"Um...Hermione," Remus's muffled voice said and Hermione turned to see him flat on his stomach with his head and hand under her bureau. "What exactly are you missing?"

"My hairbrush, some of my work files, and several pairs of underwear," she replied, blushing slightly at the last item and finding herself oddly relieved that Remus could not see her. "Why?"

"Because I think I solved the mystery of the missing hairbrush," Remus replied, pulling away from the bureau and pulling himself to his feet. In his hand he held her hair brush, which he handed to her before brushing dust off his hands.

"Oh, I never thought to look there," she admitted ruefully, accepting the hairbrush Remus gave to her. Her fingers brushed against his and they both flushed again, "Thank you," she breathed, having a hard time looking away before Sirius cleared his throat pointedly.

"If it's been missing, what you have you been brushing your hair with?" he joked, plucking the brush from her hand and running it smoothly through his already perfect locks.

"Your toothbrush," she grinned evilly.

"That would explain the added bird nestyness of it then," he replied, holding the brush above her head as she tried to reach it.

"That's not even a word, you git," she grunted, jumping to reach it.

"Now, now children. Sirius, give her back the brush. Hermione, next time remember to transfigure the toothbrush before you use it," Remus said playfully, laughing when she turned to glare at him.

Sirius relented his hold on the brush, and she clutched it protectively to her chest.

"That doesn't explain my other missing things. My work files and my underwear," she added, looking around the room as if it held the answers.

"Maybe the Nargles enjoy reading boring reports on the increasing lack of discretion in Liverpool while wearing silk knickers?" Sirius asked, leaning back against the chest of draws and folding his arms over his chest.

"It's not..." but Hermione's rebuttal stopped as she processed his words, "Sirius, how did you know my reports were on Liverpool?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Um, you ah, mentioned it a couple of times," he muttered vaguely, not meeting her eyes.

"No I didn't. I was only given that case yesterday to work on over the weekend," she replied quickly, gripping her wand tighter and approaching him now. Remus took a safe step back and waited for the storm to pass.

"Lucky guess?" the Animagus tried, giving her a weak grin.

"Try again," she growled, her wand poking his bare chest now, her expression murderous.

"Remus told me?" he tried, his smile faltering when her wand slid down his tattooed torso, following the line of ink before coming to rest just above his waist band.

Her intent was clear.

"Okay, okay! I confess! I stole the files when you told me you would be busy all weekend. You don't pay nearly enough attention to me."

He said this last part with a pout.

"Sirius Black!" she screeched, her face flaming with fury. He flinched and moved his hands down to subtly cover his most prized body piece. "How dare you?" she asked.

"I didn't think..." he said, giving her a pleading look, trying his hardest to appease the angry witch.

"No, you certainly did not!" she growled, giving him an extra hard poke before taking an abrupt step back, her heavy breathing causing her barely concealed chest to rise and fall.

"Mione, baby. I'm sorry," he pleaded again, holding his arms out and giving Remus a pointed look, silently asking for help. The werewolf stood back and merely shook his head, not wanting to cross Hermione's war path.

"I suppose you have my underwear too?" she half-joked, pursing her lips and visibly trying to calm down.

Sirius said nothing, but the shifty look in his eyes said it all and Hermione's eyes darkened.

"Sirius," she said, her voice a dangerously low tone. "What are you doing with my underwear?"

"Nothing inappropriate," he huffed, his manhood slightly bruised at the idea that he was flouncing around in ladies' undergarments. "It's just..."

Remus looked suspiciously at his friend.

"I'm getting the oddest sense of déjà vu," he said, crossing his arms and looking at his friend. "Things used to go missing when we were at Hogwarts together. Girls' things. Girls' private things." He narrowed his eyes at Sirius. "James and Lily thought it was you then too, didn't they?"

Sirius heaved a great sigh and wordlessly motioned for them to follow him. They walked up to the top floor, where Sirius's private apartment remained fairly mysterious to the rest of the house. Hermione had only been in there once or twice, and both times she hadn't ventured past the door. She was slightly exhilarated by the thought that she would be seeing more of it.

Aside from the very large king-size bed and comfortable-looking black silk sheets, Sirius's room was fairly ordinary and Hermione felt slightly disappointed by its pointed lack of gothic mystery. Sirius, however, noticed nothing of his friends' curious looks and walked over to one of the large, gleaming mahogany cupboards that sat against the wall.

"Turn around," he demanded of the two. When they looked at him curiously, he rolled his eyes. "I can't very well tell you where the key is, can I?"

Sharing a similar withering look, Remus and Hermione both dutifully turned away from him. They heard a bit of shuffling before a key turned in a lock.

"Alright, you can turn around now."

Armed with a smart comment over his secrecy, Hermione's voice stuck in her throat as she looked at the barrage of colour and fabric in front of her. Piles upon piles of female clothing - or what she assumed to be female clothing - sat on the shelves in various forms of disorganization. Taking a few steps closer, Hermione pulled out a pair of Brazilian-cut black lace panties that she knew did not belong to her.

"Ah," Sirius said, a sort of reverence to his tone. "Selena. When I spent a week in Rio."

Remus rolled his eyes but like Hermione, his curiosity got the better of him and he examined the treasures within the cupboard.

"What are all of these?" he asked, holding up a pink wool hat.

"That is the product of a fantastic ski lesson with Ingrid in Sweden," Sirius said, leaning against his desk as a smug smile started to grow on his face. "This," he continued, motioning to the rest of the cupboard, "is my trophy case."

"Your what?!" Hermione shouted, spinning around.

"Oh, come off it, love, everyone has something to remember their exes by. Most men have a little black book. I, on the other hand, collect clothing. Usually underwear, if I can get it. Yours is in the lower right hand drawer, darling, by the way."

Hermione went for the drawer and found her underwear tucked in relative neatness next to four folded scarves of familiar colours.

"Sirius Black, what on earth are you doing with a Hogwarts scarf from each house?" Hermione asked.

"Ah, yes," Sirius said gleefully, walking over to her. "That was a result of a little bet I had with James."

"What bet? I don't remember any bet involving scarves," Remus said.

"No, you wouldn't," Sirius replied. "James didn't think you'd approve. Anyway, fifth year he bet me that I couldn't score with a bird from each house by the end of seventh year. These proved that I could, and did."

Hermione's nostrils flared as Remus examined them.

"You really slept with a girl from each house?" he asked, the admiration in his voice subtle but still present, causing Hermione to pink even more.

"Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin," he said, proudly producing each Hogwarts scarf from depths of the drawer. "Gryffindor seeker Charlotte Jenkins, sixth year; Ravenclaw prefect Meg Bastion-Davis, in a deserted classroom in the middle of OWLs, fifth year; little Jillian Radcliffe, the adorable Hufflepuff who accosted me outside the owlery one morning fifth year; and the wild Amy Collins of Slytherin seventh year...that was a night I remember vividly," Sirius added, his eyes glazing slightly at the memory of the former paramour. "The things that girl could do with her body..."

"Sirius, focus," Remus said sternly, bringing the animagus's mind back to their quest, blissfully oblivious to Hermione's growing frustration with her lover.

"Sirius, do you have something to do with the scratching in the walls? Is this your idea of a joke?" Hermione asked suddenly, picking up several pairs of her underwear and clutching them to her chest.

Sirius reached forward to grab his trophies back, winning the silent battle easily before placing the scraps of fabric back in the draw with reverence. "How could you accuse me of such a thing?" he asked with a pout, patting a pair of red silk lace ones with the affection one might have for a pet.

"Easily, everything you have been chalking up to Nargles has currently been caused by you," she stated.

"No it hasn't! I haven't stolen anything beyond what you see here and the scratching is as much a mystery to me as it is to you," he defended, looking at Remus for support.

"He's right, Hermione, he can't have been involved. He spent all day with me yesterday and you've been with him all evening," Remus soothed, walking over to close Sirius's trophy cabinet, his fingers itching with curiosity at what else could be found in there.

"Mione, please," Sirius said, holding out his arms, "Don't you trust me?" he asked, fluttering his eyelashes playfully.

She sighed.

"Of course I do."

"Good, now let's find us some Nargles!" he cried, perking up and ignoring the flash of annoyance his lover shot at him.

"For the last time, there is no such thing as Nargles!" she cried, turning and stomping out of the room.

Sirius looked at Remus with a grin.

"What did I say?" he asked playfully, slapping his old friend on the back and following the irate witch from the room. Remus rolled his eyes and made to follow.

They found Hermione back in the long dark hallway, her wand lit before her, following the cracks along the peeling walls and the sound that was coming from directly behind them.

"Seen one yet?" Sirius grinned, continuing the joke.

"Remus, could you give me a hand?" she asked, ignoring Sirius's comment.

Remus rushed forward eagerly, almost too eagerly if truth be told.

"Sure, how can I help?" he asked, wand at the ready.

"Could you stand over me and hold out your wand light, mine isn't quite enough and I don't want to scare whatever it is by lighting the lamps," she instructed, turning and giving the werewolf a brilliant smile, which was returned full force.

Sirius watched as Remus practically pressed his front against Hermione's slightly bent form, holding his wand over her much shorter, bushier head and following her progress against the wall. He felt a twinge of jealousy swell in his chest and had to fight the urge to step forward and pull his best friend back. He reminded himself that Hermione wasn't really his.

The pair moved down the hall, following the sound as Sirius trailed behind.

Hermione couldn't help feeling slightly heated by the close proximity of her former professor. She had never been one for silly crushes, but if she had, Remus Lupin would have definitely been in her top five, along with Sirius. There was something delightfully sexy about the quiet, dry werewolf, and as she pressed herself back into his body, feeling every plane of his muscles, she couldn't help but let her mind wander a bit back to the dream she had been enjoying before the whole expedition started.

"You alright, 'Mione?" Remus's deep voice said softly in her ear, and she realized she had stopped moving up the wall.

"You smell so good," she replied softly, turning so her back was against the wall and their faces were inches apart.

He licked his lips subconsciously.

"Um...thank you," he mumbled, a slight flush appearing on his face.

Hermione glanced at Sirius, who was eyeing her with hawk-like attentiveness. Smirking slightly, she leaned in to Remus, brushing her lips against his ear as she spoke:

"I think Sirius might be a little jealous of you," she whispered.

"Why?" he breathed.

"Your proximity," she said, smirking as Remus lurched backwards, grasping the banister to avoid toppling down the stairs.

Even Sirius had to chuckle as Hermione descended into a fit of giggles.

"Moony, mate, if the tent in your pajamas is any indication, you're just as turned on by this brainy little know-it-all as I am," he said, causing Remus to flush even darker and subtly try and cover himself.

"I...I'm sorry..." he stuttered, trying to push past them to get up to his room, but Hermione grabbed his arm.

"Don't," she said, keeping her eyes level with his. "Don't leave."

"Hermione, I can't stay with this!" he hissed, nodding down to his erection.

"Why not?" she asked. "Sirius is."

And sure enough, the animagus was sporting a rather large bulge of his own in his silk boxers, along with his trademark smirk.

"She doesn't belong to me, Remus," Sirius said, leaning casually against the wall. "And from the way she was moaning your name earlier this morning, my hunch is that she's just as hot for you as you are for her."

Hermione looked at Sirius in surprise.

"You were sleeping like the dead when I woke up!" she said accusingly. "You said you didn't hear the scratching!"

"I didn't hear the scratching," he replied. "But I definitely heard you moaning another man's name in bed."

He smirked again as she flushed before glancing at his best friend, whose face was a mixture of confusion and desire.

"Kiss her, Moony," Sirius pressed. "Go on."

Remus looked at Hermione, who in turn looked right back at him. She could see the conflict in his eyes, so before he had a chance to voice all the concerns that seemed to be running through his mind, she went in for the kill.

Standing on tip-toe, she pressed her lips against his, hoping that he would take things from there. She was not disappointed. Slightly shocked by her assertiveness, Remus recovered beautifully and ran his hands up her arms, cupping her face with one while the other tangled itself in her hair, pulling her closer as he closed his eyes and let his mouth move upon hers.

She tasted like chocolate.

He moaned, and cupped her closer to him, feeling her arms snake behind his back, holding on for dear life. He ran his tongue the length of her lips, flicking the corner before plunging back into her hot depths. Never had a single kiss consumed him so much, he could only guess it was due to years of pent-up sexual frustration.

She sighed against him, her knees going weak as she used his much taller frame for support. She ran her fingers along the silvery scars that decorating his back, most of them old, but a few of them she knew to be new. He drank from her lips like a parched man, leaving no crevice un-touched, marking his territory like only he could.

Sirius watched his two best friends snog the living daylights out of each other, feeling his boxers tent to an uncomfortable level. He knew Hermione could be a passionate little thing, taking what she wanted when she wanted it, but to see Remus, his friend and confidant for so long, respond to a woman with such raw passion, it was slightly daunting.

The couple seemed to meld into each other, already trying to gain more friction in such a short span of time. When Remus moved his hand from her face to trace down her neck, around her torso and down to her behind, her knees did buckle. The werewolf gripped her tighter, moving to graze her thigh before bringing it up high around his hip, letting her fall into him.

Sirius felt his chest swell in a mixture of jealousy and arousal, wanting desperately to be the one kissing her, but also not wanting to look away. He had always been a bit of a voyeur; this seemed to be the perfect fodder for his dirty mind. Hermione moaned again and gripped her fists into Remus's hair, pulling his mouth down to hers as she once again gained control of the kiss.

The younger woman pulled and tugged, holding him to her as her tongue plunged into his mouth and duelled with his tongue. She felt his fingers grip her thigh tighter, sure to leave a bruise come morning, but right in that moment she couldn't seem to care. She was utterly lost to the feel of his around her, not only possessing her mouth, but his hard erection against her belly made her slightly dizzy with desire.

Remus seemed to be just as aware of her strategic placement, and in all seriousness contemplated lifting her other leg so that she could wrap herself around his waist and he could rest against a more intimate place, instead of her soft warm belly. The image of himself taking her roughly against the wall in the hallway made him moan deeply again and buck his hips against her.

Hermione was vaguely aware of the man standing behind them, never having forgotten he was there, even though Remus appeared to have lost all concept of his surroundings. She pulled away from Remus's lips, watching as he leaned forward involuntarily. She put her finger to his lips and looked over at Sirius, who was smirking.

"Well well well," he said. "That was some good snogging, but I think I can make this infinitely more interesting."

"I'm sure you could," Hermione said with a small grin as Sirius sauntered over to them.

"You up for the challenge, little girl," Sirius murmured, spinning Hermione into his arms and feeling the heat of her skin through the thin silk of her nightie. "Do you think you could handle both of us?"

Her eyes widened slightly but the desire was very plain. Sirius smirked again and glanced at Remus, whose brow was furrowed in slight confusion.

"I...I don't want get into anything...gay," he said, trying to avoid being blunt but finding it inevitable.

Sirius laughed, letting Hermione go and walking up to his friend. Before Remus could protest, Sirius had caught him around the head and pulled him in for a brief but heated kiss.

Pulling away, Remus looked stunned while Sirius grinned.

"Been wanting to do that for ages," he said.

"Yeah?" Remus asked, wiping his mouth.

"Yeah."

"Fine. Now don't ever do it again."

Sirius chuckled and both men looked at Hermione. Her eyes were dark and blazing with passion-filled fire. She walked over to them, running her hands down both of their chests and tugging them forward by the front of their respective nightwear.

"I'll give you both to the count of 10 to ravish me. I don't care which of you, and I don't care where. But you've got 10 seconds."

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look, but neither had to be told twice.

Remus, who was closer, swept her up in his arms, carrying her into the closest room, which was his. Tossing her on the bed, both men pounced upon her, one on each side. Sirius got to her lips first, claiming them with a passion that neither had felt since the beginning of their clandestine affair. Remus, not to be ignored, ran his hands up her negligee, groaning at the feeling of soft skin. He could feel goose bumps form under his touch and revelled in her responsiveness.

"Moony," Sirius whispered. "I think we need to get her out of this infuriatingly sexy little number, don't you?"

Together the two men lifted the scrap of fabric off her body, throwing it to some unseen corner of the room. Neither man noticed a flash of pink fur squeak and duck into the walls to avoid being hit by the garment.

"Oh..." Hermione groaned as Remus and Sirius both latched on to a nipple. She ran her hands through their hair, dragging her nails along their scalps and her breath hitched as they both groaned, sending strong vibrations through her body.

"She tastes amazing," Remus said, glancing at his best friend who was kissing back up her neck. "She tastes like...like..."

"Blackberries," Sirius whispered, catching Hermione's lips in soft, slow kisses. "She tastes like blackberries." He glanced down at his friend, his eyes slightly hooded by the desire that only this witch could cause him. "And that's just her skin."

Remus's eyes glowed a deep amber in the dim light of his room. He moved his face up to her neck, running his nose in her curls and taking a deep breath. Hermione shuddered and closed her eyes, moving her head to accommodate him as his tongue snaked out to taste her flesh.

Sirius watched the erotic sight for a moment before returning to lave her nipples with attention. His efforts didn't go unnoticed as her hand reached up to grip his hair in pleasure. Remus nipped at her earlobe and suckled on the sensitive spot just below. Hermione moaned and turned her head toward him, capturing his lips with her own again and she began to writhe between them.

Remus skimmed his hand up her flat stomach, fondling her neglected breast as he passed before gripping the back of her neck to kiss her deeper. Sirius continued to listen to her moans, pulling back from her breast with a slight pop and grinning when she tried to push his head back down to where it had been. The witch was a wanton - that was for sure.

Hermione couldn't get enough of kissing Remus, his lips being the softest thing she had ever felt, his touch gentle and possessive at the same time, causing her head to spin. The fact that her other lover was there for this, touching her in ways he knew would bring about the best reaction was not helping her keep a clear head at all. She pulled away from Remus gasping as he shifted his attentions back to her neck.

Sirius, meanwhile, was making a path down her naked torso, tickling her ribs and stroking her restlessly shifting legs apart.

"Please," she moaned, when he began to make small circles on her inner thigh, close enough to feel the heat of her need, but far enough that she gained no satisfaction.

"Please what?" Sirius teased, his tongue snaking out to circle her navel, causing her to buck wildly.

"Please what?" Remus repeated softly in her ear, tweaking her nipple with his fingers while his tongue continued to work its own personal brand of magic.

"I need..." she gasped and arched her spine when Sirius fingers brushed against the small thatch of curls, feeling her need practically dripping from her.

"Yes, love?" he prompted, the laughter in his voice evident as she came undone in their arms.

His fingers finally snaked their way between her folds, feeling the evidence of her arousal, drawing in her heat and need in one long caress. She seemed to stop breathing for a moment before gasping loudly.

"Fuck," she hissed, gripping Remus's hair and practically pulling over her upper half.

She kissed him like she would crawl inside him, her tongue mimicking Sirius's actions between her thighs as she kissed the werewolf with every pent-up emotion and craving she had felt for him over the course of the last few years. Remus matched her need, his hot body pressing hard into her, his arousal nudging her thigh insistently.

Hermione was on fire. From months of passionate sex, Sirius knew exactly what to do to stoke the embers within her, but it was the novelty of adding Remus - the seemingly-quiet, extremely intelligent wet-dream-in-low-slung-pajama-pants - that was making her hotter than any other sexual experience she had ever been involved in. Not only were his lips singularly addicting, but the fact that he was so possessive - even while she was being touched by another man - was turning her on like nothing she'd ever felt before.

"You're so wet, 'Mione," Sirius murmured, kissing lazily down her body as Remus shifted, his erection grinding into her hip. "I wonder if Remus wants to feel just how hot you are for him."

Remus pulled away from Hermione's lips as Sirius moved up Hermione's side, leaving Remus space to do with his lover's body as he pleased. His glowing amber eyes still locked on Hermione's smouldering hazel, he allowed his hands the freedom to wander down her curves before sliding a single digit within her panting body.

"Oh...Remus..." she moaned, closing her eyes and arching her back.

Sirius watched her, transfixed by the pleasure on her face. If the truth be told, he had always loved watching her when he made love to her. She was unabashed in her enjoyment and he appreciated a woman who could tell him exactly what she liked about what he was doing to her. But the fact that she was being so open about her appreciation for Remus's actions - and the bright flush that was now on her face tended only to appear during particularly ardent moments during their sex life - filled Sirius with an odd mixture of intrigue and jealousy.

"Shit," the werewolf cursed as he felt her walls start to tense around his fingers. He glanced at Sirius. "She's so tight."

Sirius smirked.

"Just imagine that around your cock," he said, sending a shiver down Hermione's body at the course language.

Remus gave his friend a long look. On the one hand, burying himself within the witch would fulfil a fantasy that had kept his hand at perpetual risk for carpel-tunnel for as long as Hermione had been living with them. On the other, she was technically sleeping with Sirius, and what right did he have to take her the way he wanted?

"Will you two stop fucking about and start fucking about?!" Hermione breathed, shooting a dark look at Sirius, who had caught Remus's eye and held it for several seconds.

Sirius chuckled, leaning over to whisper in her ear.

"I want to watch you while Remus fucks you. Would you like that?"

She moaned, bucking her hips towards Remus. Remus groaned, her heady scent reaching his sensitive senses and making him growl from the back of his throat. Suddenly uncaring as to Sirius's presence, Remus allowed Hermione's eager hands to push down his pajama pants and within seconds, he was kneeling between her thighs, gently lifting her hips up. He glanced at Sirius one last time and when the animagus smiled and gave a silent nod, Remus thrust himself deeply into the panting woman.

"Oh...fuck..." he groaned as her hot, wet, tight walls clamped down around him and he gripped her hips tightly, his eyelids slamming shut as pleasure the likes of which he had not felt in a very long time gripped him.

"Oh God!" Hermione cried, arching her back as she felt the delicious stretch that could only be caused by a very blessed man. There had only been one man in her love life who could cause that stretch, and he was laying next to her, one hand drawing lazy circles on her ribcage while the other ran down his chest and into his tented boxers.

Remus held still within her for one delicious moment, opening heavy eyelids to stare down the sexy woman who lay parted before him. Sirius seemed equally captured by the witch's erotic response, his gaze switching between her wet parted lips, her peaked rosy nipples and finally down to where she and Remus were joined.

Remus took a shuddering breath and pulled back slowly, only his tip remaining inside, before slamming his hips back into her. She gasped and her eyes fluttered open. Her legs wrapped around his waist, letting his large hands support her hips in mid air. She moaned and turned her head to look at Sirius when Remus thrust into her again, meeting her lover's gaze.

Sirius gave her a wolfish grin, swooping in to kiss her deeply. Hermione moaned again as he set a new fire within her. She bought her hand up to his chest, her other hand gripping a handful of the sheets beneath her. She trailed her fingers down his tattooed chest, following the movement of his pumping arm until her hand joined his down his pants. He hissed when her small hand swatted his away, replacing his fist and pumping in time to the thrusts of the other man.

Remus watched the pair between them kissing wildly, watched as Hermione gave his best friend equal pleasure and groaned. Only in his wildest dreams had he imagined she would be like this and now he understood why Sirius was so crazy about her - a million moments like this and he would still crave her. Hermione gave a sharp twist of her hips, her inner walls clutching at him and he was lost to the sensations once again.

Hermione heard both men moan in unison, writhing between them as the indescribable pleasure they each gave washed over her in waves. She gripped and tugged at Sirius's throbbing member, revelling in the gasps and moans she received. She met Remus, thrust for thrust, loving every moment of the new and delightful sensations of being filled by such a well-endowed man.

She felt the man above her increase his pace, his fingers gripping her hips hard enough to leave bruises. She wrapped her legs even tighter around him, digging her heels into his lower back and holding on for dear life. Sirius pulled away from her mouth when he sensed this change. Moving his hand down from where it had been tweaking her nipples to seek the tiny bundle of nerves between her legs, exposed by the open position Remus had her in.

She cried out when his seeking fingers found home, bucking wildly against the werewolf and almost forgetting to continue to stimulate Sirius. Sirius didn't mind that her attention had moved elsewhere, he happily began to thrust his hips into the loose circle of her hand as he bought her to peak with his fingers.

Remus moaned when he felt her tighten around him, watching their bodies now as they came together and broke apart. Never before in his life had he seen anything so erotic as himself pumping in and out of the beautifully-tight sheath of the notoriously brilliant bookworm who lay writhing in front of him. Her walls tensed almost painfully around him as her long moans made him pump faster, his name spilling from her lips almost prayer-like before Sirius swooped down to silence her once more, his finger still setting her off as he played with her nub.

Hermione felt like she was floating as Sirius's fingers and Remus's cock sent her spinning into the single hottest, most intense orgasm of her life. Her body was one single exposed never ending, sensitive to the slightest touch. When Remus, his own peak approaching quickly, ran his hand down her body she arched her back, a second shudder coursing through her. Sirius pulled away from her lips panting, his hips thrusting harder into her hand. Feeling bad for having ignored him, she tightened her grasp and moved her fist in time with his hips.

"Oh God..." Sirius groaned, throwing his head back.

"Sirius..." she gasped, flicking her eyes up to Remus to see him watching her in rapt attention. "I want to taste you."

Remus groaned at the thought and reluctantly pulled away from Hermione, allowing Sirius to lay on his back and Hermione to get on her hands and knees before him. She looked back over her shoulder, giving Remus a coy little smile, and he growled, slamming his hips and burying himself inside her from behind.

"Fuck!" Hermione shouted, gripping Sirius's thighs as Remus started to pound himself into her, uncaring as to his strength and she moaning in appreciation. Sirius watched, spellbound, by the growing flush all over his lover's body. He had never taken her that hard from that position but she relished it and he knew then that they had found something in Remus that went past a night of random experimentation.

All thoughts left his mind, however, as Hermione, who had gotten her wits about her, lowered her head and took him into her hot little mouth.

Sirius gasped as she sucked him hard. It had never been like this before. She had never been so confident, so domineering when she had given him head before. She was always gentle, and he had appreciated the sweetness of it, but there were nights when he had to grip the sheets to stop himself from thrusting himself deeper into her mouth. But now she was doing everything that he had wanted her to do for ages, but had never said for fear of her reaction.

"Jesus Christ!" Sirius groaned, throwing his head back as she went lower, taking him deeper than she had before and taking hand and gripping the base of his cock, moving in time to Remus's deep, powerful thrusts. Her other hand snaked down to cup his balls, rolling them in her hand and listening to him groan at the sensation. He could feel his moment fast approaching and as his body tensed, Hermione snaked a hand and pressed hard on the soft line of skin between his balls and his anus.

"Holy shit!" Sirius screamed, his back arching as he was hit by the single most powerful orgasm he had ever experienced in his life. His eyes were shut but his body was on fire. She continued to suck at him, swallowing his cum and continuing to play with his balls until he had to grasp her hair to stop her before it became too much.

Their eyes met, and he could see the flash as the coil within her snapped again and she was moaning, the hazel turning to gold as she came hard under Remus's thrusts.

Sirius drew her up his body, smothering her screams with his mouth. Remus arched his back before falling back on the witch, curling his arms around her torso and moulding his front to her back. She bucked wildly between them, gasping and heaving as the delicious waves of release rolled over her again and again.

Remus bit her shoulder as her milking clasps became so tight he was forced to stop moving for fear of doing one of them damage. The convulsing sleeve around his cock was a sensation he had missed but would never forget. Hermione was so tight and deliciously wet, it was any wonder Sirius had been keeping her to himself for so long now.

Hermione's body finally quieted, her soft mewls against the animagus beneath her spurring him on as he started to thrust again. Her body seemed to welcome the intrusion, pulsing around erratically as the pleasure of her orgasm lived on. Several thrusts later and he felt his balls tighten and his stomach muscles begin to contact. Delicious release washed over him as he crushed the witch and subsequently the wizard beneath her into the mattress.

Remus rolled to his side, his arms still locked around her stomach, brining her with him. A very lethargic Sirius followed and wedged himself into Hermione's embrace.

"Oh my God," she breathed, her erratic heart beating a steady tattoo between them.

"Why haven't we done this before?" Sirius muttered in agreement, lowering his head to kiss her breast sleepily, working his way up to her lips.

"The opportunity never arose," Remus panted against her back, his tongue snaking out to taste her salty skin.

Hermione lay between the two wizards, a pile of melted bone and flesh, never wanting to move from her spot again - that was until she heard the tell-tale sound of their midnight intruder.

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

The trio paused, each listening carefully. Whatever it was, be it Nargles or not, was definitely in the room with them.

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

"It's coming from inside the cupboard," Remus whispered, his sensitive hearing pinpointing the noise almost straight away.

Hermione made to slip from their arms, intent on getting to the bottom of the mystery and finally getting a good night sleep. Merlin knew she deserved it.

"No, I'll get it," Sirius said, pulling away from her and looking around the tidy room for his discarded wand, thrown down in his haste.

Hermione pushed up on to her elbows, using her forearm to shove the heavy mass of hair over to one side as she watched him. Remus sat up to, curling his much larger body around her frame, smiling when she leant back into him. Sirius approached the cupboard, which stood silent for the moment opposite the bed. He held his wand aloft and seemed completely uncaring that he was about to disarm an intruder completely naked.

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

He flicked his wand when he was about two feet from the panelled door, and it flung open, hitting the ancient wall with a crash. Moments later, a streak of orange came flying out, leaping past Sirius and diving straight for the bed. Sirius raised his wand to hex the rabid beast when Hermione cried out.

"Sirius, no!"

Sirius stopped in time to see Hermione now had her arms full of purring, orange part-kneazle. Remus was lying sprawled on the bed, laughing like a hyena.

"Poor Crookshanks, stuck in the wall this whole time," the witch crooned, stroking the cat and pressing her face up to it's squashed one. Sirius could have sworn the cat turned to glare at him.

"How the bloody...." he trailed off, looking into the cupboard to find a hole the size of a troll's fist in the back wall.

"Oh leave him be Sirius, he's had an ordeal," Hermione scolded, brushing the cobwebs and odd purple and pink fur from the cat's coat, shaking her hand at the floor to get it off as Remus regained his composure.

Sirius scowled darkly as he approached the bed containing his lover and best friend.

"Give me the cat," he growled.

"No," Hermione said, clutching Crookshanks to her chest protectively.

"Give me the stupid fur ball now, Hermione," he repeated, his grey eyes glinting wildly at her pet as he approached the bed.

"Now, Sirius, don't be mean. It's any wonder Crookshanks doesn't like you," she said, turning her body now to shield the purring familiar.

"Remus," Sirius said, looking to his old ally. Remus gave a nod of understanding and held Hermione's arms to her sides as Sirius flicked his wand and levitated the yowling cat out of the bedroom, effectively shutting him outside. Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and scowled.

"Now, where were we?" Sirius grinned, making a dive into bed as Remus pulled her back into his embrace.

Crookshanks was soon forgotten altogether.

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