"A bet?" Kisame asked.

"Yup," Deidara replied.

"What kind of bet?"

The blonde and the shark were sitting in the living room, talking. Sasori had thrown Deidara out of their room for being too loud, and Itachi was out on a solo mission. They'd started talking with one another, and Deidara had asked the shark if he wanted to make a bet.

"Simple, un. Itachi's always acting like a girl, and I'm betting you've wondered what it would be like if Itachi was a chick when you guys did it, un. Right?"

"Maybe," Kisame said, not entirely sure he liked where this was going.

"All right. Here's the bet. You have to make Itachi henge into a girl and have sex with him/her then, un."

"…You're kidding me."

"Nope. Now, here's the deal. You do that, and I never put another bomb in your room, un."

"And if I fail?"

"I get to eat all your sushi for the next month, un."

"Deidara, how would you even know if I did it with girl Itachi?"

"Konan has web cams in all our rooms. I'd just get the tape from her, un."

"I'm not doing it."

"What, is the shark chicken, un?"

"No, but he's not suicidal either!"

"Do it or I'll tell Itachi that you had an affair with Shamu during your last trip to Sea World."

"You are pure evil."

"Danna's rubbing off on me, un."

--

The first thing Itachi noticed when he entered his room was that Kisame was missing. The second thing was the sake bottle sitting on the bedside table.

He frowned as he walked over to their bed, sitting near the bottle of alcohol. Kisame didn't normally drink, and the weasel wasn't much of a drinker either, so why was this here?

It was then that he noticed a small red bow wrapped around the neck of the bottle. This was a gift? Wait a minute…gifts usually meant either a holiday or other special occasion had come up.

Now Itachi's confusion turned to panic. Had he forgotten something? No, their anniversary had been a few months back (he remembered that night very well) and Kisame's birthday wasn't for another two months, so what was it?

Not putting too much thought into the action, Itachi opened the bottle and quickly downed a mouthful. If he couldn't remember the event, he should at least be able to use the excuse, "I was too drunk to remember it."

--

One hour. That was how long Kisame waited after the weasel got home. One hour of Itachi, alone in there room with a bottle of sake. Hopefully, the weasel had drunk some of it by now.

Kisame knew that if he'd simply offered the sake to his partner, Itachi would have known something was wrong, and immediately gotten the truth out of the shark. Kisame, having no desire whatsoever to die early, had opted to just leave the alcohol out where Itachi could find it, and pray that the weasel would drink his gift.

Why? Having Itachi drunk out of his skull would make it easier to get him to henge. In fact, as best Kisame had been able to figure out, it was the only way.

Taking a deep breath, Kisame grabbed the doorknob, turned it, and burst into their room.

"Kisame's home!" Itachi slurred, smiling and waving from the bed.

Kisame blinked in shock, rooted to the spot. Slowly, his eyes traveled to the bedside table, falling on the overturned sake bottle. Yup, there was no doubt in his mind now.

Itachi Uchiha was drunk.

"Hey Itachi," he said as he walked over to the bed. "Have fun on your mission?"

"No," the weasel said, pouting. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Kisame said, bringing his face close to Itachi's. "So, how about we have a little fun to make up for you being gone?"

"Yeah," Itachi said, giving the shark a rather sloppy kiss.

"Hold on," Kisame said, pushing the Uchiha away. "I want to play a little game."

"No games," Itachi whined before trying to kiss the shark again.

"You'll like this one."

"Hmm?"

"Itachi, I was wondering if you could henge and have sex at the same time," Kisame said, all the while hoping he wasn't overplaying his hand.

"Maybe," the weasel said, frowning. "But I don't wanna."

"Please?" Kisame said. "I promise we'll have fun."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Itachi paused, and then began slowly making hands signs, the alcohol obviously taking a toll on his mind. Finally there was a poof of smoke, which cleared away to reveal a female Itachi.

The curves were more defined, there were tiny breasts on Itachi's chest, and a few parts were missing from his crotch, but Kisame could tell it was still the Uchiha. "Nice," he commented.

"Shh. Time for fun," Itachi giggled as he climbed into the shark's lap and kissed him.

--

"Why does my head hurt?" Itachi thought. He slowly opened his eyes and then hurriedly shut them, hissing. The sunlight burned!

Kisame heard the noise and woke up, staring at the lump under his blanket. "Itachi?"

"Shh! You're too loud," the weasel grumbled, rubbing his head.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Hn." Kisame took that as a 'No, now beat it,' and climbed out of their bed before dressing and exiting the room.

He walked into the kitchen, hoping to find some breakfast. Instead, he found Deidara. "Well, I did it," he said, sitting down by the blonde.

"I'll buy that when I see the tape, un."

"YOU!" Kisame and Deidara looked up in time to see Konan hurl a tape at the shark, hitting him square in the face. "How dare you take the sacred act of yaoi and twist it like that! You'll burn that tape if you know what's good for you," she growled, storming out of the room.

"Here you go," Kisame muttered, handing the tape to the blonde and rubbing his now bruised face.

"Great, I lost, un. Hey, where's Itachi?"

"In our room, whining about a hangover."

"He got drunk?!"

"How else was I supposed to make him henge?!"

"Good point, un."

--

The next two weeks were relatively calm. If Itachi noticed that Deidara had halted his attacks on the two, he didn't say anything. Things were completely normal (or as normal as they get for the Akatsuki). This could only mean that disaster was just around the corner.

It happened one morning. Kisame had just come in from training, and was hoping to kick back and relax for a while. That idea vanished into thin air when he walked into his and Itachi's room and heard multiple popping noises coming from the bathroom. Curious, he poked his head inside. "You ok?"

Instantly he realized how dumb a question that had been.

Itachi was standing before him, henged into a girl and looking rather disheveled. "What's with the-"

"Just watch," Itachi ordered. He made the appropriate hand sign, which was immediately followed by a cloud of smoke. However, just as quickly, another pop and cloud of smoke came, clearing away to reveal female Itachi. "What just happened?" Kisame asked.

"I tried to undo the jutsu, but I didn't work. For some reason, I'm stuck as a girl."

"We need to get leader."

"Hn."

--

Pein insisted on keeping the weasel confined to the hospital area until they figured out what was wrong with him. "This could be some new kind of jutsu," Pein said. "One that traps the person as the last thing they henged into."

"Wonderful," Kisame growled.

"We're doing everything we can, Kisame. Running blood tests, giving him different forms of nutrition, even looking into getting a real medical ninja. But for now-" the leader was cut off as Konan ran into the room, looking rather upset. "Yes?"

"Come with me," she said, dragging her boyfriend out of the room. Kisame and Itachi were left alone, waiting impatiently for the leader's return.

They soon heard shouts coming from the hall. Mostly Pein was yelling, with Konan answering in short snaps. Something about being impossible, then double-checking the data…at last, the fight stopped, with a grim looking Pein returning to the room. "What was that all about?" Kisame asked.

"Konan just figured out what's wrong with Itachi," Pein said, rubbing his temples. "The answer showed up in his test results."

"Well?"

Pein shut his eyes, took a deep breath, then looked the weasel in the eye. "Congrats kid. You're pregnant."