A/N: sorry its been so long. i have no excuses, this has been written for awhile i just forgot :( sorry

Fear

Raven

My friends know everything.

Victor and Starfire are concerned. They want to do anything they can to help. The problem is I don't think there's anyone in this world that can help me anymore.

Robin is scared. Scared for me, scared for the team, scared for Starfire, scared for the city, scared for the world. So of course he's locked up inside the evidence room, searching for information that he knows doesn't exist only because it makes him feel useful.

Gar is angry. Actually he's more than angry. He's absolutely furious. Mostly it's because I didn't trust him with the truth. After all we've been together for almost a year now and I've always urged him to share things with me. But he doesn't understand. This secret…it's not something I could share.

I've never been so terrified in my life when I saw the ruby red marks covering my arms and legs. The vision was scary but those runes, each one of them was some sort of sign for death.

My death, my friends' deaths, the city's deaths, my world's deaths.

I've never made it a secret that I'm not entirely human. But I've never found a good way to explain what I truly am.

A portal.

A pawn.

A demon.

When I was very young Azar told me my mother's story. How she was searching for acceptance and came across the Church of Trigon. How she was selected to be Trigon's bride, to bear his child who would bring about the destruction of the world.

Are you following me here?

Arella and Azar knew Trigon would come. There was no doubt about that. But they had trained me to fight him, to drive him back into hell where he belonged. And all my life I'd been so sure of myself. I would defeat my father and my life wouldn't change very drastically.

But what I hadn't counted on was how incredibly powerful Trigon was. He could strip me of my powers without a second thought. And what was I without those? Nothing. Just a weakling who couldn't protect anyone.

The sharp air whips around my body, blowing my hair every which way. For a brief moment I lose my balance but quickly back away from the edge of the Tower to solve that problem. Then I inch back.

Twenty stories. A fall like that would last only a few second at the most.

I bite my lip. If I died…would Trigon come?

The shame and fear overwhelms me and I stand on the edge of the Tower, my arms spread wide. I can feel the demon runes burning my skin again and tears stream down my cheeks.

Gar

Raven's room is empty. I stand in the doorway and glance at her meditation mirror. Its surface is clear and I can tell she's not there. If she's not in her room then she must be up on the roof. I take the steps two at a time.

I shouldn't have gotten so angry at her. I should've understood her better. How could she just tell us something like that? It wasn't exactly casual conversation for the dinner table but…I shivered as I recalled the smell of burning skin and Raven's screams of pain. Whatever those symbols were they'd terrified her. Even the pain was nothing compared to her fear.

The door is ajar and I push it open gently.

"Rae?"

My beautiful girl is standing on the edge of the roof, her arms spread wide. Terror grips my heart and without thinking I morph into a pterodactyl and grab her by the shoulders. She screams in surprise as I drop from the sky and back onto the roof. While morphing into a human I wrap her up in my arms so tightly I'm half afraid I'll break her ribs.

"No, no, no." I say over and over as she struggles in my grip.

Her shock disappears and is replaced with anger. Wordlessly she punches me in the jaw. For a moment I reel but don't relax my grip at all. Not giving me a chance to recover she begins to thrash, punch, kick and bite.

"Let me go!" she screams.

"No!"

"Let go!"

I bare my teeth at her, unleashing my fury and fear from behind my mental wall. She quiets in an instant, her breath heaving and tears still soaking her lashes as she stares up at me in wordless shock.

"No, Raven."

She whimpers weakly and I quickly build up the wall again. Normally I would never throw myself at her like that but she was hysterical. It takes me a moment to reign myself in and once I'm done I try to keep my anger quelled as Raven trembles in my arms.

"What were you thinking?"

"I don't know. I thought if I…"

"You thought if you killed yourself you wouldn't have to deal with all of this?"

She nods miserably and her body heaves with sobs.

My anger melts away and I hold her to me. Her arms wind around my neck as she sobs her heart out. At a loss I nuzzle her neck tenderly and open my thoughts to her, unable to form words.

What would I do if I lost you?

You'd survive.

I growl. No, without you there is nothing.

Gar…

No.

But you were so angry…

Anger and fear are best friends. We fear what we don't understand. I was afraid for you; I don't want to let you go through this alone. I shouldn't have exploded like that. You just…looked so…

I picture her again and I shudder. I've never seen such shame in my entire life.

You weren't my Raven.

I don't think I'm strong enough.

Yes you are.

How do you know?

Because I know you. You'll get through this. We'll help you. There's nothing to fear except fear itself.

She ponders this for a few moments then clings to me tighter. I carefully touch the partially healed burns, her teeth clench and the shame returns.

"I'm a demon." she admits sadly.

"No you're not. You are Raven, nothing else. Just like I'm Garfield, not an animal."

A giant tear escapes her lashes and I kiss it away.

"I'm not going anywhere Rae. You don't have to go through this alone."

"I don't know if I can do this. I used to but…" she shivers.

"You can."

"But-"

"You can."

She looks up at me and I wipe at her tears clumsily. It breaks my heart to see her like this. After a few minutes she takes a deep breath.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good."

You must do the things you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt