"But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms." -- Rascal Flatts, "Bless the Broken Road".

"Happy birthday to you!"

I joined in the song, but my voice was softer than everyone else's. I felt like my heart was heavy enough to make up for my airy, unenthusiastic singing. The room was dim except for the nineteen candles that were burning down and dripping wax on the navy blue cake. The candles lit up my son's face and I realized just how grown up he was. When he blew out the candles, it felt like a gust just as powerful was blowing through my heart.

Applause echoed the room and Odette launched herself in her brother's lap.

"Can I please take the candles out?" She pleaded, her little voice high with excitement. I walked over and flicked the lights back on, revealing the faces of everyone I loved so much. Jake, his eyes tired and his face unshaven, looked just as happy as ever as he managed to carry the presents into the dining room with Adeline on his back. We locked eyes and he smiled brighter than the fire that had been burning down the candles. I felt like I had run a mile and his smile still made me want to hold him.

I was pulled from Jake World by my daughter wrapping her arms around my waist. I smiled down at Adeline and took her tiny hand. Her wavy, brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Her twin, Odette, had her wavy, blonde hair down. Odette was currently pulling each candle out of Cole's cake with clumsy fingers. I noticed Cole's hand was tightly around the hand of someone else. Emily Eve Oken, my life-long best friend Oliver's daughter, had my son wrapped around her finger. They'd been dating ever since they were fifteen.

"It's nice to finally have a boyfriend that's my age," Emily teased, leaning towards Cole. Oliver huffed angrily and looked away as Emily wrapped her arms around Cole. Oliver's world revolved around his daughter, who was the apple of his eye, and he didn't take very kindly to her growing up. In fact, the day Emily moved into an apartment with her friend Mary, Oliver cried for ten minutes. That's not to say I took kindly to Cole growing up. A lot of days I felt just like I did now: sad and terrified. The world didn't make sense to me when my baby was old enough to have his own babies. He hadn't gone to college, as I always hoped he would. He lived in this shitty apartment and sold his paintings at this jewelry store. I tried almost every day to convince him to either move back here or let me buy him a better apartment, but he was so stubborn. Yeah, I have no idea who that trait came from.

Most days, Cole and Emily ate lunch with us. Oliver came too. I think it made the separation a little bit easier for all of us.

"I'm only younger than you for four months each year, and yet you never let me forget it." Cole grumbled, wrapping one arm around Emily and holding another on Odette's shoulder to make sure she didn't fall. She was sitting on the edge of the table, still picking at those candles. Emily was born March twelfth—two days after the day Jake and I got married—and Cole was born July twenty-sixth, so Emily turned a year older before he did.

When I realized Odette wasn't going to speed up, I pulled her off the table and into my arms.

"Hey!" She complained, her sparkling green eyes reproachful.

"Hey yourself, little girl!" I teased. I kissed her cheek and hugged her before setting her down beside her sister.

I finished pulling the white candles out, and I let Emily cut the cake. She purposely made Cole's slice tiny and he stared at her for a full twenty seconds before she started laughing and cut him a larger piece.

Once everyone had their cake, we all took our seats at the table. Adeline sat in Jake's lap and ate some ice cream while Odette sat on the actual table and ate her cake very messily.

"Honey, why can't you sit in a chair like everyone else?" I sighed in frustration. I pushed her hair behind her ear so it wouldn't get dark blue icing in it. She giggled and swung her legs (that were hanging off the side of the table). She had her cake in her lap.

"It's because she's weird." Adeline giggled. Jake laughed and grabbed Adeline's hand as she tried to put her spoon of ice cream in her mouth. He directed the spoon toward her nose and smeared the ice cream on her nose. She screamed out and turned, wiping her ice cream nose on his shirt.

"Don't call your sister weird." He scolded gently. He opened his arms and Odette jumped off the table, throwing herself into her daddy's arms. Jake smoothed her blonde hair back, and continued. "You're both weird!"

They both laughed and having them made letting go of Cole just a little bit easier. I looked at my son, who looked more and more like Jake with each passing year. Except his eyes and nose. It may be a little easier, but it was still hard.

"Happy birthday." I told him. He smiled at me and I squeezed his hand. It was hard to believe that nineteen years ago today, I was in the hospital with my new baby. Now he was in the real world. When he was younger, I worried so much about him. He liked to party back then and I was so scared he would make bad choices that would kill him. But among the other things I loved about Emily, she was so good for him. She made him him. He was more himself with her around than he was with her gone. Just knowing they dated helped me sleep better at night.

"Thanks for helping me get here." He smiled. He understood the sacrifices and battles Jake and I had gone through to get him here, but I don't think he understood just how much it was worth it. I would have gone through everything I had a hundred more times to give him a chance at a future. And even though I didn't agree with the way he was living life now, I knew he would make a difference in more than a handful of people's lives. He was extraordinary, and he was my little boy no matter how old he got.

"I wanna sit with mommy now!" I turned at the mention of my title. Adeline slid off Jake's lap and pulled herself right up into mine.

"I see how it is." Jake pouted. Adeline leaned against me and I kissed her cheek. She hugged my arm.

"I love you daddy, but you're a drama king." She called to Jake.

I busted into laughter and Adeline giggled along with me. I hugged her and kissed her brown hair. My girls were worth all the years and tears it took to get them. I was finally happy, but I still hurt every now and then. I still missed the baby I'd only gotten to know for three days, and I still ached over the baby who never got to take a breath. Hearing the names Isabella and Joy still made my heart feel cold. But I was healing. It's a difficult and long journey to heal over the death of your children.

Once everyone finished with cake, Cole pulled the first present toward him. It was the gift Alana and Jim had dropped off a few days ago, before they left for Spain. He pulled the wrapping paper off neatly and opened the box. He smiled and seemed happy, even though I knew he probably wasn't that excited about it. Alana always gave him two pairs of jeans, three polo shirts, a pack of socks, and two pairs of boxers. I guess those items were always very useful though.

The next was the present from Jake and I. I felt my face flushing with embarrassment before Cole even opened it. He was going to be angry. But he had to accept it! It was his birthday.

Jake caught my eye and he took my hand. He knew how much I worried over Cole's future, and that was why he had allowed me to put one-hundred thousand dollars in Cole's birthday card, knowing Cole wouldn't accept it.

Cole read the front of the card with his smile still in place, and the smile faded when he saw the check.

"Mom." He muttered shortly. He pulled the check out and pushed it toward me. "I'm not taking that."

I frowned and almost felt like crying. Jake's grip on my hand tightened.

"Please, Cole. We don't need it. You do. It's your birthday present! Please just take it. It's the least we could do." I begged. Emily muttered something to Cole and he shook his head at her.

"That's enough for nine years of monthly rent, Mom!" Cole exclaimed. "That's enough to buy a freaking house!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Or a nicer apartment."

He sighed. "My apartment really isn't that bad. I can pay for rent on my own. I don't need you giving me one-hundred thousand dollars for my birthday."

"You have no stove and your mini fridge is so loud it's almost painful, not to mention there's a lot of bugs crawling around. Oh, and the air conditioner breaks down all the time and the water decides to turn brown randomly." Emily listed off the problems with his apartment. He sighed at her and she gave him a big smile. "Just stating the facts, C-dizzle. Plus your mattress feels like a boulder and your bed creaks."

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT HIS BED?!" Oliver freaked out, his eyes bulging out of his head. Emily sighed and took her father's hand.

"Daddy, calm down. It's the only place to sit besides the couch."

Oliver nodded and took deep breaths.

"Can't you at least just take the money so you don't have to worry about rent or food? Please. It would make me so happy." I pleaded.

"I can pay for my rent and food on my own, Mom. I've got to grow up sometime. I'll never be able to if you keep trying to give me thousands of dollars on a daily basis."

"Well if you'd just take it then—"

"Take about three zeros off that check and I'll take it, okay?" He snapped. I stared at him.

"Two zeros."

"Three."

"Two."

"Three."

"Four."

"Two."

"Okay." I smiled. He paused and glared when he realized I'd tricked him into letting the amount be one-thousand dollars instead of one-hundred. I went into the other room and wrote a new check, this one totaling to ten-thousand dollars. He was going to take it if I had to throw him in my car and drive him to the bank myself.

I handed the check to Emily.

"You make sure he deposits that." She nodded and stuck the check into his pocket. I tore up the first check and threw it away.

Cole sighed.

I sighed.

Jake sighed.

Adeline and Odette sighed.

"You shoulda just took the money, you big dumb head." Odette muttered to Cole. We all avoided each other's eyes, but busted into laughter all the same.

Adeline frowned.

"Don't be mean to C." She glared at her sister. She climbed into Cole's lap and wrapped her arms around him. He smiled and kissed his little sister's head.

"At least someone loves me." He joked.

I gathered the plates and carried them to the kitchen. Jake followed.

"Next time I'm making Adeline give him the check." I told him.

Jake grinned and wrapped his arms around me once the plates were in the sink. He leaned me against the fridge and kissed me deeply. He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine.

"Who is too protective of their son?" He asked.

"Me." I grumbled.

"And who needs to trust that he'll come to us for help if he needs it?" He pressed.

"A dumbass! That won't ever happen, Jake! And you know—"

He pressed his mouth against mine, mid-sentence. He held my face tightly, and once I stopped trying to finish my sentence against his lips, he pulled away.

"Stop worrying. The next time I hear you freaking out about his financial situation, I'm going to do something more than kissing to you to calm you down." He winked in that extremely seductive way of his and released me from his grips. I yelled after his retreating back.

"THAT NEVER WAS A THREAT AND IT NEVER WILL BE!"

He stuck his head back in the kitchen, his green eyes twinkling with that familiar spunk. He smirked.

"It's not a threat, baby. It's a promise. And you know I always keep my promises." He raised his eyebrows, the smirk still dancing on his lips.

"Whatcha promising?" Adeline and Odette asked as they walked in the kitchen, each dragging Cole by a hand. Cole grimaced, because he obviously understood very well what was going on.

I fought back laughter and Jake faltered.

"Um…I'm promising to…"

"He said he's going to take us all out for dinner tonight!" I exclaimed happily.

Oliver walked in.

"You're eating out tonight?" He asked Jake.

"What?! Who said that?! I didn't say that! Why are you eavesdropping on a private conversation?!" Jake freaked out.

A blush seeped on everyone's face who actually understood the misunderstanding.

"Jake, honey...he wants to know if we're going to a restaurant to eat dinner tonight." I whispered.

Jake froze. He laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair.

"Ha…right. I knew that. My mind isn't in the gutter or anything. I understood what he meant. I was just wondering, you know, why he was eavesdropping on the most recent part of the conversation. Um…yeah. Yes, we are all leaving the house to go and eat food at a place meant for that purpose."

"You could have just said ye—" Jake cut Oliver off.

"YOU COULD HAVE WORDED YOUR QUESTION BETTER!" Jake's eye twitched.

"SO WHERE ARE WE GONNA GO EAT?!" Odette screamed. She had a very loud voice. Jake and I were almost certain she was going to be a Broadway actress.

"Wherever you two princesses want to go." Jake smiled. They both talked it over, their heads bowed together. Adeline looked up at her daddy.

"We want to go to McDonald's." She announced. Jake met my eye and we grimaced.

"Okay." He agreed.

"Do you and Emily want to come?" I asked Cole. I looked around the kitchen. "Where is she, anyway?"

"She left a few minutes ago." Cole replied. "And we were going to go out to eat tonight. Sorry." He checked his phone and then continued. "Actually, I should probably hit the road too." He hugged me and I didn't want to let him leave the comfort of this house for the cold world. "Thank you for the present and card." He hugged Jake and thanked him also.

Adeline started crying. She held her arms out and Cole picked her up. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Don't go, C." She sniffed. She cried even more, and that made Odette start to cry too. She hugged his leg.

"Don't go, dumb head!" She cried. Jake pulled Adeline out of his arms and I pried Odette off his leg. We each cradled a daughter.

"I'll be back tomorrow, sis." He promised them both. Adeline hiccuped and Odette rubbed her runny nose against my shoulder. I smoothed back her golden hair.

"Promise?" Adeline asked. Her green eyes were so honest and vulnerable.

"I swear." Cole smiled. She smiled back.

"You better swear, mister." Odette muttered. She sniffed again. "I love you, dumb head."

"I love you, C." Adeline muttered.

"I love you, Cole." I smiled.

"I love you, son." Jake laughed.

"I love you, you fatheaded daughter-stealer." Oliver glared.

Once everyone stopped laughing, Cole replied.

"What's with all the insults to my head? I love you guys too."

We all said goodbye again, and he left. You'd think he was leaving for a year with the way we all did goodbyes. But I like to know he knows we love him. It's important for him to understand there are people who love and support him, especially with that lonely and difficult life he's living now.

COLE'S POV:

The moment I opened the door to the apartment, she was back in my arms. I held her so tightly it hurt. I'd been feeling down all day, and I wasn't vain enough to pretend it was for some other reason than my wounded pride. Having her here made me feel so much better. I don't know what I would have done if we hadn't decided to live together behind our parent's backs.

I pulled back a little and pressed my lips against hers. My knees felt a little weak. I broke the kiss and shut the door.

Without Emily, the apartment was a monotone mixture of off-white and gray furniture and walls. With Emily, it was paradise.

I took her hand and we walked past the kitchen area of the open room. She laid down on the couch and patted the small opening beside her. I laid down beside her and our bodies were pressed together to tightly my testosterone was screaming at me. She kissed me softly and I draped an arm over her waist.

"That was great today. You almost sounded as if you really hated the apartment." I joked. She grinned and pressed her face into my neck. She kissed me once and I let my chin rest against the top of her head. Paradise.

"Right. Because I definitely don't hate it. Not one bit." She teased. Her breath was hot against my skin. I stroked her dark brown curls and longed to kiss her lightly freckled nose or her soft, pink lips. Just seeing her made everything better. Just holding her in my arms made all thoughts of financial trouble, of the argument with my mother, of my injured pride disappear. All I could think about was Emily's body against me, and her heart intertwined with mine.

Working this living arrangement out had been tricky. Oliver would have probably skinned me alive and used my skull to store valuables if he knew we lived together. Whenever Oliver wanted to visit Emily, she hurried over to her friend Mary's apartment that she "shared". If Oliver showed up randomly, Mary told Oliver Emily was at the grocery store and called Emily. If my parents came over to see me without calling first, Emily was "just visiting". Half her stuff was here and half was at Mary's. She had enough there to look like she lived there, and enough here to hide quickly. It was complicated, but it was worth it. Some days I felt like if I didn't have her with me I'd go insane.

She lifted her head and moved it where my eyes could meet hers. I had never seen such deep and open brown eyes in my life. It was the color of my world. Her black eyelashes looked beautiful against her creamy skin when her eyes fluttered shut. She knew me so well that she knew I was going to kiss her the moment before I did. I pressed my lips to hers and deepened the kiss, tasting the taste so intoxicating I couldn't get enough.

I pushed my hand a little up her shirt, playing with a newly broken boundary. I stroked the dip of her waist and she buried her hands in my hair. Just when my self control was slipping, she pulled away. She pressed her face back against my neck and her heart was pounding against my chest. We breathed heavily together.

"I missed you." She whispered.

I don't know if she'd ever understand just how much I had missed her in the few minutes we were apart.

"Missed you too. And you know what else?" I gently lifted her face. Her cheeks were flushed light pink.

"What?" She asked. I smiled and kissed her cheek.

"I happen to love you." I replied. She grinned.

"Oh really? That's convenient because I happen to love you too."

We may be in an apartment that only has water and electricity half the time, but we have plenty of love and happiness. And that's all that really matters, right?

"It must be my lucky day." I pressed my cheek against her smooth one.

If every moment of the rest of my life could be like this moment, I would have the luckiest life to ever have been lived.