All characters belong to Vince McMahon and WWE inc., except for Tommy who still belongs to me. As usual, any relation to actual events and people is strictly coincidental.

One is The Loneliest Number

"Honey, I'm home!" Tommy dropped his bag in the hall and waited for his husband to attack him. It usually happened, but today all he got was a "I'm in the kitchen."

Tom shrugged. Jeff's newest hobby was cooking, and ever since Tom had made the mistake of taking him to see a taping of "Iron Chef America", he been fascinated with creating new, and unusual dishes that were sometimes even edible.

"What's up?" Tom snuggled into the crook of Jeff's neck and kissed him.

"Just trying' something new..." Jeff answered

"I can see that. Sometimes I think you enjoy cooking more than me." Tom whispered, nibbling Jeff's earlobe. His hands snaked under Jeff's apron and started squeezing.

"Ooohhhh." Jeff squealed "Taste this." He stuck a spoon covered with a thick red sauce in Tom's face.

"Aw, jeez." Tom removed his hands from Jeff's privates and hesitantly tasted the concoction.

"Well?"

"Not bad." Tom replied "What's in it and what's the occasion?"

"Tomato sauce, green peppers, finely chopped chicken, and Jeff's special sauce." Jeff answered

"How many times have I told you that if I want to taste your special sauce, I'll go down on you." Tom feigned anger. "We're married. Your sauce is off-limits to everyone else."

"Not that." Jeff pointed to a bottle on the counter. He'd written 'Jeff's special sauce' on the label and underneath that, a picture of a bunny rabbit.

"That's a relief. But why?"

"Matty's comin' for dinner." Jeff replied

"He is?" Tom asked

"Tommy... don't you remember? It's his first night out of the hospital and I said we'd cook for him."

"Honestly, I don't remember." Tom sighed "But I've had so much on my plate since we got back from our honeymoon, it's been a blur. Have you decided what you're doing yet?"

Jeff shrugged.

"Well, you and Jay are dropping the belts at Night of the Champions to Y2J and his mystery partner since Adam's out with his Achilles' injury." Tom walked into the dining room where the table was already set for three.

"Jeffro, did you unpack everything while I was gone?" Tom asked. When he'd left three days ago, the house was all boxes with the exception of the bedroom. (Hint, hint!)

"Imma bored, Tommy. 'Sides, I didn't do it myself. Bunny helped."

"Oh she did?" Tom stared quizzically.

"She told me where to put things." Jeff stated

"Do I have time to shower before Matty gets here?" Tom asked

"Sure."

"Excellent." Tom swooped Jeff into his arms and carried him toward the bathroom.

"My sauce." Jeff wailed "At least let me turn it down!"

Tom carried Jeff back into the kitchen, and held him over the stove. Once he'd set the burners on a lower setting, he was taken back into the shower where Tom undressed him and spent the next forty-five minutes getting several tastes of Jeff's other special sauce.

"Tommy. Your gonna spoil dinner if you eat much more of that." Jeff gasped, coming down after his third climax.

"I didn't have lunch." Tom answered, reaching for the soap. "Wash my back?"

Jeff reached for the scrub glove and lathered Tom's back. As he scrubbed away the dirt, he also noticed several bruises that weren't there when he'd left.

"Tommy, did you hurt yourself?"

"Nothing to worry about." Tom answered "Mark still has some strength for an old guy." He didn't want to tell Jeff about the dust-up he'd had with Teddy Long on Superstars. The GM of Smackdown had accused him of screwing his guys out of the unified Tag-Titles which had led to a scuffle, which had led to the Undertaker choke slamming Tom, which had led to the entire ECW contingent beating Mark to within an inch of his life.

"Tommy, you're not supposed to be getting involved in shit like that." Jeff scolded

"Honey, don't worry." Tom stretched, hearing his vertebrae crack loudly. "But we'd better get dressed. We don't want Matt to be standing outside for too long."

"He won't. I gave him a key." Jeff explained, tracing the soapy mitt across Tom's broad shoulders.

"Oh. Well, I don't want to be seen coming out of the bathroom with you. Matt's got enough things on his mind without icky thoughts of the two of us compounding them." Tom replied

"As if. Tommy, he's done it with both of us. There's nothing he hasn't seen before." Jeff answered

"I guess you're right. I'd still rather be dressed when he arrives. Maybe later???" Tom winked, and rinsed the last traces of the soap from his body. "I'll see you in five."

Wrapping a towel around his lower body, Tom left Jeff alone under the steaming water. Jeff power-washed his body and hair.

In their walk-in closet, Tom stared disbelievingly. Jeff had indeed unpacked all of their gear, but the amount of clothes that were Jeff's outnumbered Tom's garb by at least three to one.

He selected a pair of black dress jeans, and a black t-shirt. He thought of adding a vest to it, but then the words "keep it simple, stupid" echoed through his mind.

Staring at himself in the mirror, he grimaced at how much grey was starting to show.

"Jeffro?" He called

"What, honey?" Jeff playfully smacked Tom's butt as he walked into the closet. Tom prepared himself for the shower of clothes that often came as Jeff tried to find the perfect outfit.

"Remind me to pick up some of that Just For Men stuff." The more he looked, the more grey he saw.

"Maybe you should dye it." Jeff suggested, coming over to him with an armload of clothes.

"Purple? Or maybe blue?" Tom replied "I don't think so Jeff. It may work for you, but it isn't my thing."

"Imma just trying to help." Jeff sulked

"I know." Tom replied "Hurry and dress. I know you think clothes are evil, but we don't Matty to get a stiffy too soon, do we?"

"Ooh... kinky."

"I think that's Matt." Tom heard the sounds of the door opening. Leaving Jeff to his wardrobe choices, Tom returned to the foyer. He was right. The middle Hardy brother, still looking a little feeble after his hospital stay, was staring around the house.

"Hey, bro. How was the trip?"

"Thank God for my pain meds. That was the worst fuckin' flight I have ever had the misfortune of taking." Matt grumbled.

"Well, it's nice to see ya too." Tom hugged Matt gently, not knowing how bad his side was throbbing.

"I hope you're hungry. Jeffro's been cooking up a storm all day." Tom said

"Yeah." Matt sniffed "Whatever it is it smells awesome."

"Matty!" Jeff bounded out of the bedroom, and threw himself at Matt in a bear hug. Matt grimaced as Jeff bony body hit his side.

"Jeff, watch it!" Tom realized just how delicate Matt was.

"Yeah, bro. Big brother is still a little sore." Matt answered through clenched teeth.

"Sorry." Jeff apologized. "Can I see it?"

"Huh?" Matt asked

"The scar... can I see it?" Jeff prompted, already tugging Matt's shirt out of his pants.

"There ain't much to see." Matt answered, but Jeff wasn't one to be stopped.

"I'm gonna go check on dinner." Tom's mentality about scars was very strange. If they were his, he didn't mind showing them off, but he'd rather not see anyone else's.

Jeff and Matt came into the kitchen a few minutes later. Obviously Matt's scar wasn't much of a conversation topic either.

"Jeff's special sauce, eh?" Matt picked up the bottle on the counter and uncapped it.

"It's not what you think." Tom quickly added.

"I've tasted him too y'know." Uncapping the bottle, Matt poured a drop on his finger and tasted it. "Mmm... needs a little less salt."

"Uh-oh." Tom thought "Matty's gonna get it now." Tom quickly opened two bottles of beer and handed one to Matt.

"Out!" If there was one thing Jeff couldn't stand it was having his creativity criticized.

"Matt, I think we'd better go before Chef Jeff puts something in our dinner." Taking him by the shoulder, Tom took Matt back into the living room.

"I've been reading your blog." Tom said "I hope you didn't mean me when you were rippin' on people for talking about your weight gain."

"Nah, bro. You know where I was coming from." Matt answered "I'm amazed how fast you two got this place."

"Right place, right time I guess." Tom answered "My place sold in less than a day and I think Jeff still wants to rebuild."

"He had a lot of memories in that place. I don't think he's ready to let go." Matt answered, gulping down his beer.

"I don't blame him..."

"Are you two talking about me?" Jeff walked out of the kitchen, a large pot in his hands.

"Matt was just saying how surprised he was at how fast we closed on this place. It was the first place we looked at."

"I fell in love with it at first sight."

"Just like me, eh honey?" Tom tipped his beer bottle at him.

"Yeah, right. You had to suck me off before I fell in love with you." Jeff retorted

To Matt's surprise, Tom laughed. "Well, he's right." He read his younger brother's expression. "What do you want to drink with dinner, dude?"

"This is fine." Matt looked at his beer, which was almost empty. "I shouldn't drink too much."

"A coupla drinks won't kill ya." Tom answered "You've gotta stop being so damn responsible."

At the word 'responsible', Matt's demeanor changed. "Whaddaya mean stop bein' so damn responsible?" he demanded

"Whoa... lose the Mattitude! I was just sayin'... sheesh!" Tom went back into the kitchen, shaking his head at Matt's sudden outburst.

"Red or white with dinner?" He asked Jeff, opening the refrigerator.

"Red." Jeff said "What was that about?"

"Beats the fuck outta me." Tom answered, opening the bottle with enough force to snap the cork. "He seemed to take offense at something."

"Somethin's probably on his mind." Jeff answered, tossing the salad. "I'm sure he'll tell us."

"I just wish Matt wouldn't keep things inside him all the time." Tom answered "These sudden mood swings don't do anything for me."

"Relax, Tommy." Jeff grabbed the salad, Tom the wine. "Matty, dinner's ready."

Reading body language, Tom and Jeff shared a glance. Something was definitely wrong with Matt, but would he tell either or both of them or just keep inside himself until it was forced out like in the past?

Over dinner, they talked about, what else, work? Matt was asking a lot of questions about how things were going on ECW.

"Eh, it's more of the same. Trying to put on a good show with a small talent base is challenging at times." Tom answered "Incidentally, have you talked to Helms recently?"

"He stopped by while I was getting sliced." Matt answered

"How's he doing?" Tom asked "I've had no luck reaching him since we got back."

"Still having headaches." Matt answered "He says they're getting better..."

"Not willing to admit he's hurting either, eh?" Tom answered

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mattitude was back.

"Dude, ten minutes ago you ripped into me because I said you were being too damn responsible." Tom answered "Are you gonna tell Jeff 'n me what's bothering you?"

"Nothing's bothering me!" he shouted "Why does everyone think that?"

"Matty, you're among family. Whatever's wrong we'll help." Jeff replied "No matter how bad it is."

"Jeffro's right." Tom added

Matt sighed. "I'm hurtin' guys." He finally said

"Hurting? How?" Jeff asked

"It just feels like there is something missing." Matt answered

Tom looked at Jeff. "I think our middle brother is lonely."

Matt twiddled with his food.

"I nailed it, didn't I?" Tom answered

"I guess." Matt answered "I don't know how to put it into words."

"We just need to find you a woman." Tom answered "It's as simple as that."

"I wish it was." Matt laughed nervously.

"Of course it is." Jeff answered mischievously. "We'll just take Matty to the club tonight."

"Club?" Tom asked "You know I'm flying out tomorrow morning."

"Fine." Jeff pouted "I'll take Matty out myself. It's amateur night at the Doll House. Maybe I can find him something there."

Tom paused, the fork halfway to his mouth. "You do know that's a gay bar, dontcha?"

"It's an alternative lifestyle establishment." Jeff replied, stating a fact. "Tonight they happen to have an all-female review."

"You better hope that doesn't mean drag queens and trannys." Tom answered, his mouth full of noodles covered with Jeff's special sauce.

"Jeffro, really, you don't hafta..."

"Matty, since Tommy's being a party-pooper, tonight we're gonna do the town, old-school Hardy Boyz style." Jeff answered, waving his fork at his elder brother refusing to take no.

"Jeff, I hate to be the party-pooper, but you're flying out as well." Tom said "We're appearing on Superstars together, remember?"

"So? I'll sleep on the plane." Jeff shrugged

Tom groaned. So much for a relaxing night at home. "If you are gonna make a mess of the town, I guess I better tag along. Someone's gotta keep you outta trouble."

So that is how, three hours later, Tom, Matt, and Jeff, found themselves at a table in a crowded club, watching scantily-clad girls shake their tail feathers while dirty old men pawed them.

"I knew this was a bad idea." Tom said, watching Matt make a total fool of himself.

"This wasn't a bad idea. Giving Matt a hundred dollars in fives was." Jeff giggled at the sight of a seriously-buzzed Matt stuffing money into the latest hooker's G-string.

After the legally allowed amount of flirting was done to complete the transaction, Matt staggered back to the table, a panicky expression on his face.

"I'm in trouble." He whispered hoarsely.

"Trouble?" Tom looked around, expecting security to appear and toss Matt out the door.

"Yeah.... I'm outta money." Matt spread his hands to prove that he was.

"What?" Tom demanded

"He said he's outta money." Jeff shouted into Tom's ear, thinking he couldn't hear over the heavy beat.

"I heard him the first time." Tom yelled back. "Where'd it go?"

"Lotsa ladies." Matt slurred

"Good evening gentlemen and ladies." A tuxedo-clad emcee took the stage. "Let's hear it for the dollies!"

The people in the audience cheered loudly, some more loudly than others; it all depended on how must alcohol the specific patron had consumed.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our amateur competition. It's open to anyone. First prize is five hundred dollars! Sign-up is at the bar."

Several daring ladies and men scrambled over to register for the contest.

"I gotta piss." Matt said as if it was an important appointment he'd forgotten. "Be right back."

"Whatever." Tom answered. His brother/brother-in-law's toilet habits were not a priority for the conversation.

An hour later, and Matt still hadn't returned. Jeff was starting to fret.

"Where's he?" He stuttered, the booze kicking in with a vengeance.

"I dunno. He's missing a good show." Even though he was happily married, Tom did think it was cheating that he'd been checking out some of the male dancers since his husband was sitting right beside him. Judging by the branch in his pants, Jeff had also liked what he'd been seeing.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have a special guest entrant. Welcome WWE superstar Matt Hardy!"

"Pfffft!" Jeff sprayed the table top with the mouthful of beer he'd just drank.

"This'll be fun."

Nine Inch Nails "Closer" started and Matt oozed onto the stage.

"I dunno if we should be watching this or not." Jeff whispered

"Prolly not." Tom was unable to take his eyes off the stage however. "Even though we've seen everything Matt has to offer."

"Yeah, dude. We are so watching this." Jeff returned his attention to Matt's performance.

Tom cast a furtive glance around. Everyone, male and female alike, was wrapped up in Matt's dancing. Tom took his hand off the table and placed it between Jeff's legs. He was still hard.

"Just watch the stage." Tom said

Jeff gulped. Tom's fingers caressed Jeff through his pants, a slow touch that drove him crazy with desire.

"Fuck." Jeff gasped

"I wish I could." Tom replied "It's been too long, but this'll hafta do for now." Maddeningly slowly, Tom forced his zipper open. Jeff's dick, way too constrained by his thong, fought for exposure.

At Matt's clothes came off on stage, a similar thing was happening in the audience. With a quick flick of his fingers, Jeff's underwear fell aside and his dick was finally free. It stood up, throbbing to the beat of the music. Tom's elegant fingers whispered across the smooth skin. With each touch, the nerves felt like they were being charged with an electrical shock. Jeff tried to control himself, but he was soon bouncing in his chair with excitement.

"Jeff, you're making a scene." Tom groaned, but ceasing his pleasurable activities he did not.

"Tommy, I'm gonna..." Jeff growled, squirming around.

"You ain't the only one." Tom jerked his head to the stage where Matt, down to his shorts, was gyrating so seductively on stage it was hard to tell who was more aroused.

"He keeps this up and he's gonna win the five hundred for sure." Tom said, trying to pretend that they were having a normal conversation just in case.

"Yeah." Every muscle in Jeff's body tensed suddenly and Tom's hand soon felt a few drops of liquid. Tom quickly muffled Jeff's moans with his lips while his hand brought him to the edge, then over it, with a few sharp jerks.

"It looks like you weren't the only one who got a payoff tonight." Matt had just finished his routine from the number of bills that were stuffed in the waistband of his jockeys, he hadn't done all that bad either. Although he didn't win the competition, he still made over three hundred dollars, not counting the five phone numbers.

"Better not let him see us like this." Jeff rearranged his wardrobe, wiping off the few wet spots with a cocktail napkin.

"Like he'd care. Dude, we've both done him more than once." Tom joked "Maybe he'll offer to buy us a round with his, ahem, winnings."

"Did you see me?"

"A lot more of you than we expected to." Tom answered "If I wasn't married to Jeffro, I'd seriously consider asking myself why I enjoyed my brother do a strip tease."

"You coulda looked away. Or," he lowered his voice. "gone down on Jeff instead of just givin' him a hand job."

Tom and Jeff both blushed. "Were we that obvious?" Tom asked

"Dude, I saw everything. It was making me hard." Matt answered

"Maybe that's why you didn't win." Jeff taunted

"Yeah bro. Just for that, I ain't buyin' you anythin'."

"Awe, Matty... Imma love you." Jeff whined

"Sorry Jeffers, your pleading ain't gonna work this time."

Jeff stuck out his lower lip.

"No, Jeff. You can't change my mind tonight."

Two minutes later, Jeff had a beer in front of him, courtesy Matt Hardy.

"I love you too." Tom said

"Don't push it, bro." Matt said

"Okay. I opened a seventy-five dollar bottle of wine at dinner, so either buy me a drink or you can pay me for the wine." Tom tried a different tactic. Jeff could make people do things for him just by being himself while Tom on the other hand had to resort to guilt-trips.

"Fine." Matt slapped three twenties, a ten, and a five on the table in front of Tom. "Here's your fuckin' money, now leave me alone!" Gone was the outgoing Matt Hardy, back was Matt Hardy version 1.0 with an extra side order of Mattitude thrown in.

"Matty, Tommy was jokin'... weren't ya?" Jeff scooted over, ruffling Matt's obsidian hair.

"Of course I was. Matt, I can understand if you're lonely, but..."

"I don't wanna talk about it." Matt shouted loud enough to attract the attention of the patrons sitting close by. "Can we drop the subject?"

"Well, thanks for the buzzkill. I'm ready to leave now." Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he scooped the cash from the table and walked away."

"You comin' Jeff?" He called over his shoulder. "Or are you gonna stay here?"

"I'll be out soon dude."

"Hurry up. You're in no condition to drive." Tom ordered

"Matty, what's really bothering you?" Jeff rubbed his brother's arm for reassurance.

"Jeffro, I don't wanna talk about it." Matt replied

"Well, thanks for spoiling my night." Jeff sulked, "Imma goin' home. At least there someone will treat me right."

With that, Jeff left. Matt considered chasing after him, but decided against it. The buzz was gone and he felt worse than he had earlier. He decided the best thing to do was just drink and try to forget it.

"Matt comin' back with us?" Tom asked

"Nuh-uh. He's being an ass." Jeff replied

"Okay."

"I know what's wrong with Matty." Jeff announced

"Enlighten me." Tom stated

"He's probably feels left out." Jeff closed his eyes, his head resting on the back of the seat. Tom thought he'd dozed off until Jeff spoke again. "Before you and I got married, the three of us hung out all the time. Now I think Matty just feels left out."

"It's not our fault. I'm running ECW, you're at a crossroads, I'm sorry but we can't drop everything every time Matt feels like doing something. He was lucky that we both had tonight for him."

"That's not what I meant, bro, and you know it!" Jeff's sharp tone startled Tom.

"So what are you saying?" Tom demanded

"That maybe we should be a little more considerate."

"If you wanna hang out with Matt more that's fine. Hell, other than tomorrow, the only thing I need you for is dropping the titles at Night of the Champions. Yeah, if you want some quality time with your brother, I can talk to Heyman and book you off the show, no problem!"

"Tommy, that's not fair! He's your brother too!" Jeff whined. Tom was starting to scare him.

"But I'm not revolving my life around him."

"And you're saying I am?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Maybe you shoulda married him instead of me?" Tom abruptly pulled off the road and slammed the car into park.

"Tommy, no! You don't fuckin' get it, do ya?"

"Obviously I don't. You wanna explain this to me?" Tom glared at Jeff.

"I shouldn't hafta. Why can't you just trust me?" Jeff whined

"Does the name Jack Tyler ring any bells?" Tom yelled "Fuck Jeff, I've done everything for you. Hell, I practically killed someone for touching you and you don't have the balls to at least explain this to me? Why don't you drive yourself home? I really don't wanna be around you right now!"

He undid the seat belt.

"Tommy, please, don't go!" Jeff grabbed Tom's arm.

"Let go, Jeff." Tom pulled out of his grip.

"Please stay." Jeff started crying, his whole body soon shaking.

Tom's heart broke. All the anger he'd had disappeared in that moment. "Don't apologize... it's not your fault." He reminded himself.

"Jeff, I'm sorry." Tom said, as usual ignoring his mind's orders. "But I don't like being kept out of things, especially when it involves us."

Jeff wiped his nose with the back of his hand. Could he tell Tom what Matt had confided in him weeks earlier? Probably not. If Tom knew Matt's secret, there was no telling what he'd do.

It wasn't a matter of loneliness, or a matter of trust. It was, to borrow a phrase from Depeche Mode, a question of lust.

TBC

Lies, secrets, betrayals, with a side order of wrestling thrown in... what more could a guy want??? Oh yeah, there will be more sex too!