Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of this story.

Author's Note: A short story for one of my favorite pairings. Not yaoi, just shounen-ai. If you don't like maleXmale relationships, please, stop reading. Thank you.

Secret

Damn, after all the demon-hunt we had that day I couldn't drift into sleep! I was tired as hell and man, I loved sleeping, yet I couldn't. Like something was bothering me. No, it wasn't related to the many battles we fought, neither to that usual strangling feeling in my gut whenever we're about to kick some asses. No... Only to an empty mattress and an abandoned sword next to it.

Whenever I looked at it, I felt strangling balls in my stomach.

"Damn, Yuu-chan. Where have you gone for so long?" I thought. Sure I was worried about him, but... very curious as well. And as a soon-to-be Bookman I needed to know about everything. If there was something up and I couldn't see or hear what it was, I would be smacked in the head by Panda for being such a lazy ass. And hell, he would make sure it hurt. Last time he did it, my ears were ringing like the bell of Miranda-chan's clock was in my head.

Damn, damn it all, I couldn't take it anymore. I climbed out of my mattress – which wasn't too comfortable enough for my liking and shame on me I didn't know its Japanese name (note: I have to ask Yuu-chan about it) –, and tiptoed out of the room carefully, not to wake up anyone. I silently sneaked through every corridor, every room, but Yuu-chan wasn't found in either of them.

"He couldn't go out this time, could he? In either way he wouldn't forget about to take his sword with him." I thought.

As a last try I walked to the garden. The shrine was a beautiful place from the inside and outside as well, like everything I had seen that far from Yuu's homeland. I sneaked past the beautiful cherry-trees scanning the whole area for my mate. For my biggest surprise I found him by the pond. His hair was let down which looked like a dark curtain of silk. Even though he was a man, I had to state: he was beautiful.

I did some silent steps towards him, but suddenly stopped when I heard a soft sniffing noise. I hoped I'd heard it wrong. As I approached him, it was confirmed that I hadn't.

"This world is going to end soon. Kanda Yuu, the almighty, grumpy, emotionless and ruthless exorcist of all is... crying?! What the bloody hell!!!" I did what I had to and used to do in this kind of situation: slowly knelt behind him and wrapped my arms around him. He let out a gasp and turned his face to me:

"W-who?" When I saw his soft face wet from tears, dark eyes glowing in the moonlight, I was lost with words. Sure I hit on pretty women, but Yuu... the sight of him made me tremble and feel those butterflies in my stomach. I didn't know why.

His face was shocked when he realized that the person who bothered him was me. He pushed me roughly away, stood up and reached for his sword. I got up and let out an amused chuckle:

"Tck-tck-tck, Yuu-chan. That's not nice. Besides... Haven't you forgotten something in our room?" When he noted that his sword was indeed missing, he turned to leave:

"D-don't you dare to... tell it anyone." I grabbed him by the wrist which made him look at me.

"You stupid rabbit, let me go." The scared and somewhat cute face transformed into his usual angry one with the sign of embarrassment. I shook my head:

"Nope, not until you explain why were you crying." He let out a tiny "che" sound and struggled in my grasp, but I held his wrist firmly and yanked him into an embrace:

"Sssh, it's okay. I won't tell it anyone." He was trembling and tried to push me away. I tightened my hold around him:

"Calm down. I mean no harm." His protest faded by each second and finally relaxed in my arms.

"Yuu-chan, what's wrong?" I asked softly. He started to tremble again and felt some wet drops soaking my shirt.

"Damn, what made him go this soft?" I mentally asked.

"It's alright, let it all go." I ran my fingers through his silky strands, then wrapped my other arm around his waist and rested my chin on the top of his head. I hadn't gone this soft and gentle on either of our friends yet. Not even on Lenalee-chan. By each little hot drop on my shirt I felt more and more that I didn't want to let him go. Ever. The realization hit me harder than Panda gramps' hardest smack:

"Holy Hell, I have a crush on my friend!!!" He slowly rested his head on my collarbone. With this he made my heart hammer at my ribcage. I really hoped that he didn't hear it, but when he snuggled to me, I was almost 100% sure that it made Noise wake up.

He slowly pulled back a bit to look into my eyes. Before I could register what had happened, I felt my right hand run down on Yuu's face and its thumb brushing the little wet drops away. He let out a silent gasp and shot his gaze to the ground. After some moments I heard an almost inaudible "sorry" coming from him.

"Don't be." I tilted his face up to meet my gaze – although I was sure I was blushing madly, but I didn't give a damn about it.

"W-why are you...?" He whispered softly. Before he could finish his sentence my lips caught his. At first he stared at me with wide eyes slightly blushing, but eventually he relaxed and slowly closed his eyes.

As our lips parted he touched his in disbelief what had just happened. This was such a cute and slightly girlish movement that it made me want to hug him.

"W-why did you... do that?" Oh, my! He was blushing! Something really was terribly wrong with him. I slowly and uncertainly wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled to his neck:

"Because... I..." Come on, Lavi, big breath! "I think I like you."

"Che... Don't fool around. You're a soon-to-be Bookman, aren't you?" He whispered softly. It made my courage build up again. So... he was afraid that I would just play with his feelings.

"Yup, I am... But I don't like many points of its code." The slow and soft nuzzle against my shoulders confirmed that I convinced him.

"Yuu... Please, tell me, what's wrong." I whispered, then felt a small nod against my shoulders:

"J-just... I... miss him..." He muttered.

"Him?" Another nod. Somehow I started to become jealous.

"Daisya." Yuu whispered against my neck sending tiny shivers down my spine along with it a heavy ball down my stomach.

"Oh." Nice answer, know-it-all ass – I mentally slapped myself.

"We grew up together." A tiny nuzzle against my neck. "He was like... a brother to me." I sighed in relief unaware that Yuu might hear or feel it. I tightened my hold around him.

"I'm so weak." He whispered in a chocked tone.

"No, you aren't." I ran my hands through the silky strands. "It's natural if you lose someone dear to you."

"B-but I..." I held him closer.

"It's alright, Yuu. Really. Wanna talk a bit?" He nodded slowly.

I don't know how much time we spent in the shrine's garden, but I didn't give a damn. We ended up by the pond, I sitting on the ground, with Yuu's head on my lap and I stroked his hair absentmindedly as he kept on telling me stories about their team's days. According to those memories he told me that Daisya was a really funny dude. I wished I had met him. I thought we would get along almost too well. Also I was very happy to see this side of Yuu. Somehow... all this made me feel special.

Next day Yuu woke up as grumpy as he used to be, giving no sign of the previous night. Before I knew what I was doing, I glomped him:

"Yuu-chan, morning!" With this action I almost ended up on the tip of Mugen.

"What the hell are you doing, stupid rabbit?! Get the hell away from me!" He snarled.

"U-uhm, Kanda, please?" Lenalee asked softly.

"Uhm... Soba-man... There's no need for violence." Kro-chan lifted his hands up in protest.

"My name is Kanda, you stupid freak!" Ouch, Yuu. With his stinging words he made Krory burst into tears drawing all attention to him.

Before going out, Yuu walked up to me and whispered into my ears with a soft smile:

"Not here." I smiled back and nodded.

"So it really wasn't a dream." I thought.