Meet The Parents

by She's a Star

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to the brilliant J.K. Rowling :)

A/N: The idea for this fic just came to me, so naturally, I *had* to write it. I'm already working on like 5 other chapter fics, so it's probably not wise, but I just couldn't resist! Please review after reading, it'd make my day so much better :)

Chapter One: A Siriusly Bad Start

"Lil, are you SURE your parents are going to like me?" eighteen year old James Potter asked his girlfriend, Lily Evans, as he nervously ran a hand through his messy black hair.

Lily laughed and pecked him on the cheek. "Sure...what's not to like?"

"Well...I dunno...it's just...I've never been around Muggles before, and I don't really know how to act around them, and I-"

"I can't believe it," Lily interrupted, grinning slyly. "James Potter is nervous."

"There's a first time for everything," James replied grimly. "Lil, they're not gonna like me-"

"James!" Lily barked.

"What?"

"Sweetie, in the nicest way possible, shut up and stop worrying."

"All right," James said, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes before plunging through Platform Nine and Three Quarters. When he opened his eyes again, he was standing in King's Cross Station, accompanied only by Lily's cat, Raven, who had taken a liking to him back in their first year and had insisted on sitting on his trolley.

Lily appeared by his side a second later, her green eyes sparkling happily at the prospect of seeing her family again.

"D'you see them?" James asked.

"Um..." Lily's eyes scanned the crowd, and she shrieked with delight after a few moments. "There they are!" She grabbed James's hand and ran over to her parents, leaving their trolleys and Raven forgotten.

"Mum! Dad!" she exclaimed joyfully, throwing her arms around both of her parents. James stood awkwardly behind her, eyeing a blonde, bony girl with a pout on her face.

Petunia, James decided immediately.

"Lily!" Mr. Evans, who had Lily's brilliant green eyes, though they were covered by wire-rimmed glasses, exclaimed. "How are you, darling?"

"Great, Daddy," Lily said happily.

James studied 'Daddy' intently and was relieved to find that he looked rather scrawny, and was at least a head taller than James. At least Mr. Evans couldn't cause him any bodily harm...

Unless he had a gun.

STOP IT! James screamed inwardly at himself.

"We missed you so much, sweetheart!" Mrs. Evans added, wrapping an arm around her daughter.

"I missed you too," Lily replied happily.

James felt Mr. Evans's eyes land on him.

"Who is this?" he asked, smiling warmly at James.

Oh God, James thought, panicked, He wants to kill me...he hates me...I know it!

"Daddy, this is James, my boyfriend!" Lily said. "You knew he was coming..."

"Ah, yes!" Mr. Evans grinned broadly. "James! How are you, son?"

"Fine," James squeaked, sounding like some demented sort of mouse.

Oh, good job, James, he thought dryly.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Mrs. Evans said warmly.

"You too," James said nervously. Lily smiled at him and took his hand.

"Petunia, say hello," Mr. Evans said in a low voice. Petunia just rolled her eyes and stepped away from them a few feet. Mr. and Mrs. Evans exchanged exasperated looks.

"Petunia-"

"Hello, there, ladies and gents!" a cheerful voice with more than a hint of mischievousness greeted them. James didn't even have to turn around.

Sirius, he thought with a groan.

As if things weren't going badly enough already.

"Hey Sirius," Lily said, smiling at him.

"And who is this?" Mr. Evans asked.

"It's-"

Sirius cut Lily off.

"Sirius I-Don't-Have-A-Middle-Name-Because-Apparently-My-Parents-Didn't-Care-Enough-To-Give-Me-One Black at your service," he said with a grin. "Future best man at your daughter and Jamesie's wedding!"

Mrs. Evans gasped, and Mr. Evans put his hand to his heart.

"Oh, great Sirius," James snarled to his best friend. "Now you've done it-you gave her dad a heart attack!"

"Whoopsies," Sirius said meekly.

"Wedding...?" Mrs. Evans asked fearfully.

"Don't you think you're a bit young?" Mr. Evans added after regaining the ability of coherent speech.

"Mum, Dad, he's been saying that since first year," Lily said hurriedly.

"WHAT?" Mrs. Evans asked. "You've been planning a wedding since you were ELEVEN?"

"NO!" Lily exclaimed. "He's kidding, Mum."

"Oh, all right," Mrs. Evans said, relaxing visibly.

Mr. Evans, however, was still eyeing Sirius in suspicion.

"HE's not staying with us, too, is he?" Mr. Evans asked nervously, looking in Sirius in a manner that suggested he thought him to be some sort of criminal.

A very dangerous, mentally unstable criminal.

"Alas, I won't be there to supervise these two animals," Sirius said, giving Lily and James an over-exaggerated look of disgust.

The couple exchanged a look of panic, and James resisted the urge to perform of the Forbidden Curses on Sirius-WHY was he trying to destroy this?

Well, James answered himself. Because he's Sirius.

"A few words of advice before I leave," Sirius continued in a way-too-informative tone.

Lily and James both winced.

"Have a chaperone with them at all times," Sirius ticked his 'advice' off on his fingers as he spoke. "Do NOT leave them in any rooms together alone, and most importantly, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT go into a room if you hear Lily scream, 'James, you TIGER!' from inside of it...instead, evacuate the house as soon as humanely possible."

Mr. and Mrs. Evans stood unmoving as though frozen, their faces sporting equal looks of horror.

"I'm Sirius Black, ladies and gentlemen, and with those helpful tips, please have a safe and happy summer."

And with that, he turned around with flourish and left.

A sort of low growl escaped Mr. Evans's throat, and James looked up at him meekly. Lily's father suddenly seemed about three feet taller than James had originally taken him to be.

James gulped and attempted to utter one word, but all that came out was a squeak.

"Help."