Disclaimer: I own nothing of D Gray Man

A/N: Fic was inspired by "Winter Alice", sung by Hatsune Miku. Only the first part and the spring part seem to be corresponding to the song though... T_T this was originally for LaviYu Day but I posted SOOOOOO late. Shows how much assignments can distort my life. Ok, enough with my rambling.

Everywhere was white outside his house in Japan. The rabbit was staring at him again. The white body made out of snow, eyes of stone from the ground. Except the right eye had fallen off. It made the snow rabbit look like him. Kanda stared right back at the snow rabbit. He had taught him how to make snow rabbits instead of snowmen, claiming that snowmen were 'outdated'. That was four winters ago. This winter was the second that Kanda had spent without the red-haired rabbit. His voice rushed back to him.

You poured so much memories into me. They're overflowing. Look at me, Yu. Who do you see? Tell me!!!

His voice echoed painfully in Kanda's head. He had shouted, no... demanded the answer on the day he left.

Flashback

The great war was over and Kanda was still in the infirmary waiting for his wounds to slowly close. The effects of the damn illusion were getting to him. Each wound took longer to close, prolonging the agony that came with the pain. Lavi had just walked in with his usual non-Exorcist uniform and said, "Bookman and I are leaving first thing tomorrow morning."

Time stopped then. The only thing he could say back then was, "… Why?"

Lavi answered it casually, like he had been saying the same thing for years. "We're Bookmen, Yu. The battle we've come to observe is over. Life as 'Lavi' is over. We're nothing but an illusion."

He did nothing to stop the other, until the next morning when he was discharged from the infirmary and saw him again. He passed by Lavi's room when he was on his way back to his room. The door was open and the usually cluttered room was bare as bone. It was weird. He walked to the library where he saw papers being filed neatly into binders and stacked by the door. Looking past the library's doors, he saw Lavi on the floor, checking the stacks of binders around him. He walked up to the other and just stood there, waiting for him to finish.

"Hey Yu," he greeted in a defeated tone as he looked up. "Nice of you to drop by. Panda told me to check everything again."

Kanda made a small disgruntled noise. "Tch, I wasn't here to listen to your complaints about that old man," he said. "I came here to ask you something."

Lavi turned back to his binders and replied, "If you're here about making me stay, sorry Yu. Job above all."

Kanda reached down and jerked Lavi's shoulder to make the redhead turn around and face him. "Then why? You already said that you were not allowed to form any attachment bonds. Then why did you still make me believe you had actually loved me??" Kanda asked.

Lavi had stood up, eyed Kanda and practically shouted that line at him. Kanda was taken aback by that statement. Lavi rarely shouted. "I'm not supposed to exist," Lavi continued his tirade. "How many times must I say this? 'Lavi' is not supposed to exist!! And you're not even human!!! But…" His voice volume dropped noticeably. "But… I did… When Allen nearly died. When Lenalee lost the use of her Innocence in Edo. And when I heard Cross say Allen is the new host of the 14th. I came to really care for everybody in the Order. But Bookmen are never supposed to get attached emotionally. And I have to go soon. Yu, don't make this any harder for me. And for yourself too." When he finished speaking, he ran out of the library, leaving Kanda alone in the vast room.

Kanda never went to the docks where both Bookmen took the boats and left the Order. He eventually tracked down his village where he probably lived in pre-experiment and took up shelter in an abandoned house. The house was not in a very bad state of disrepair and was relatively easy to fix. He taught swordsmanship to the kids in the village and made a living from there.

End of Flashback

Raising a hand, Kanda smashed the snow rabbit into slush. He was angry, definitely. Angry at the one who no longer sported the name 'Lavi'. Angry at himself for actually believing his words back then. Angry at Innocence and the circumstances they had met under. And most important of all, angry at his own weakness. The snow fell around him. He watched as the white flakes drifted down from the sky and eventually covered up the pile of snow. The lotuses were long gone, a relief to Kanda who was used to their presence. The wind picked up and the snow fell harder. Kanda looked up and saw the skies a dangerous dark gray. A storm was coming. He stood up and walked back into his house. He hoped that none of his students are dumb enough to return here for something they left behind. Something which happened more often than he liked during spring and summer. He put on an extra jacket and secured all the windows and threw more kindling into the dying fire. And waited for the storm to pass.

Frantic knockings sounded at the door, jerking Kanda back to reality. He had fallen asleep on the table while reading a book. The fire was blazing merrily, oblivious to the cold storm outside. He got up and brought Mugen along, in case it was some robber who decided to target this place. He opened the door a little and saw a person outside completely covered while the chilly air blew snow in. It was too tall to be any of his students. In fact, the stranger outside was slightly taller than Kanda himself. He could see only the bottom part of the stranger's face as the rest of his head was hooded. The lips moved and Kanda strained to hear what he was saying. The howling of the wind made it impossible to hear the stranger. Kanda gestured for the person to go into the house first. If it really WAS a criminal, he could gut him out with Mugen.

The stranger stood at the doorway, brushing snow from the clothes while Kanda closed the door. At the sound of the door closing, the stranger turn around to face Kanda, but he never took off his hood.

"I'm sorry for trespassing," the stranger apologized in fluent Japanese with the voice in an obvious male pitch. "Do you mind if I took up shelter here until the storm passes?"

The voice was mildly familiar to Kanda. But still, the storm was unrelenting. Anyone who stayed out longer than an hour would indefinitely freeze to death. "Stay in that room and don't go anywhere else," Kanda said and pointed to the room he had been occupying earlier. The stranger bowed and walked straight into the room without removing any part of his guard against the winter.

He followed the outsider into the room where the other paused to have a look at the book Kanda was reading earlier. "… You still love reading this," he commented. Kanda froze. The other had used 'still'. A term which meant that he was familiar with Kanda's daily life in the past.

"Who… are you?" Kanda asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

The outsider turned a little. The hood completely covered the face in shadows, except for where the fire lit up half his face from the end of the nose downwards. The lips curved upwards. "A man to an unknown destination passing by," was the answer.

Somehow Kanda had fallen asleep after reading his book. The storm had gone on for a few hours and while waiting, the other stranger had fallen asleep on the floor. And Kanda had followed suit. When he woke up, the fire crackled weakly and the roaring sound of the wind was gone. Kanda got up and opened a window. Sunlight streamed through it, lighting up the room. That person from last night was still out on the floor and still covered in layers of winter wear. Without a second thought, Kanda strode over and kicked the guy in the side.

The next events happened in slow motion to Kanda. The other jerked and sat up, as the hood left the owner's head. Red hair fell out and an eye in bright emerald green widened in surprise. The head slowly turned to reveal a black eye patch on the right eye. Kanda, unable to stand due to shock, fell to the floor, wide-eyed in shock.

"Geez, Yu, can you don't try to kill me in my sleep?" he asked, adding pressure on the spot where Kanda had kicked him. He looked up to see Kanda was in shock. "Yu?"

Kanda was frozen to the spot, eyes wide open as if he had just seen a ghost. "La… Lavi?" he said softly.

The redheaded man looked away at the floor. "It's Bookman now," he replied.

Kanda felt his erratic heartbeat slowly falling back into its normal beat rate. "… So what are you doing here in Japan?" he asked. The other had changed a little from the last time he had set his eyes on him. The hair was longer now. It barely brushed his shoulders. The lone green eye also took on a duller shine. It no longer sparkled as much as before. The face was set in a grimmer detail as a soldier who had fought too many wars and been to many battlefields.

Bookman remained seated on the floor. His green eye cast upwards as he recollect the reason. "There's a war somewhere around this area. I kind of… lost my way and I ran into the snow storm. I saw a light radiating from a house and it turns out to be yours," he said and laughed a little. "I guess Fate gets bored too."

Of course. The war nearby. There was no other reason why the current Bookman would step foot into Japan unless there's something to chronicle in their records. But misdirection seemed like a poor excuse for Bookman who could speak Japanese like any other native. Bookman stood up and looked out of the window. "Actually, I also got to thank the snow storm for it," he said as he smiled to the outside. "I found something else too."

Kanda stood up, still not looking at Bookman directly. Bookman can read emotions like an open book from his eyes, no matter how cold Kanda projected his gaze. "If you're done here get out," he said in a biting sort of tone. He already knew since that day, 'Lavi' will never come back. There will be someone who will look exactly like him, but he no longer carries the name 'Lavi'. He turned around to leave the room. He barely reached the main corridor when he heard hurried footsteps behind him and before he knew it, arms wrapped themselves around his waist and something warm against his back.

Kanda turned around quickly to find that the redhead had latched onto him, refusing to let go. His head was buried in Kanda's right shoulder and if anything, Kanda might have thought that idiot was smirking. He tried to pry the arms off him but the fingers refused to relinquish their grasp. "Oi, let go," Kanda said as he tried to elbow the other in the stomach.

He heard a soft chuckle. "I let you go once, Yu," the redhead said. "I'm not letting you go again."

Kanda's movements stilled. "What do you mean?" he asked as he broke free and turned around to face Bookman.

Bookman smiled, this time a real one. Not like the ones Kanda had seen the night before. "I found the reason for my existence, other than recording wars," he said. Running a free hand down Kanda's face, it was worth the chance to see Kanda's face slightly flushed from the contact. "I can be with Yu," he finished as he embraced Kanda.

The door slammed shut. "I'm back, Yu!!!" Bookman shouted as he ran into the kitchen area. "What's for dinner?" A knife suddenly flew past him and embedded itself deeply into the wall beside Bookman's head.

Bookman's face paled slightly upon seeing the knife in the wall. Kanda was standing by the stove with a murderous look on his face. "The first thing you ask when you're back is food?" he asked, his eyes reverting back to the icy glare Bookman was too familiar with during his 49th name.

Bookman laughed nervously. "I was hungry, Yu," he said. "But I want to show you something. Got a few minutes to spare?" Kanda paused from where he was peeling potatoes from to look up. Bookman smiled and took Kanda's hand and led him outside.

Bookman stopped at the wraparound porch that was facing the back garden. Although it was still winter, the bare trees were showing faintest hints of green among the white. And in the garden where Kanda had cleared the snow from earlier, small traces of green are already visible.

"See Yu? Winter wasn't so bad right?" Bookman asked as he wrapped his arms around Kanda's slim waist. The latter grumbled some threat but Bookman brushed it off. "Spring's almost here."

A/N: I added one extra paragraph to the original draft. Reviews are appreciated!! As well as constructive criticism. Some people should know what I do to outright flames that are sent without research ^^ Congrats to anyone who noticed the Kingdom Hearts references