By the time we moved all our belongings to the inn, it was night-time. Because of how small each of the rooms were, each person got their own room and key. After all the excitement from yesterday, I probably would have slept soundly on a bed of nails balancing on the edge of a cliff.

During the night, I could hear muffled voices during the night. Strange... I thought. Maybe our neighbors were up late? It was a new hotel, so the walls were undoubtedly wafer-thin.

The next mourning, upon closer examination, I became certain that the distant, unidentifiable sounds were coming from the water closet (or W/C for short). I had no idea how or why the sounds would be coming from there, but the voices were getting louder. I could only make out the occasional word, but mostly, it just sounded like gibberish. I decided to call the front desk, which posed an interesting dilemma: I could only guess how the hotel staff would react to the news that one of their guests were hearing voices.

Luckily, the desk clerk was very understanding, and said she'd send a repairman up. While I was waiting for him, the water closet issued the following announcement, the first complete sentence that I was able to fully understand: "I've got a stopped-up toilet in room 26, please respond."

Before I could even process this bewildering sentence, there was a knock on the door. It was the repairman. He walked in, went directly to the water closet, and returned with a two-way gramophone radio in his hand.

"I've been looking for this thing since yesterday," he said. "Finally, the mystery is solved." He apologized for any inconvenience he had caused, and then left.

Then, after a few short seconds, it dawned on me. Room 206? Isn't that Lance's room?

In an instant, an idea began to form in some evil corner of my mind. It was now payback time.

I walked across the hall and knocked on the door of room 26. Lance open it. "What do you want, pipsqueak?" was the first thing he said. Pleasant, isn't he? Then I moved in for the kill.

"Having a little bathroom problem, huh? You really have to be careful with these hotel toilets. They're not made for heavy-duty activity." I said, trying as hard as I could to keep a straight face.

His reaction -or rather, nonreaction- was exactly what I'd hoped for. Lance was utterly dumbstruck, unable to even respond to what I'd just said.

"Yeah," I continued, "I was just down in the lobby, and everyone behind the front desk was talking about what a job the guy in room 26 had done on his toilet. They said they'd never seen anything quite like it."

I could have milked this for the rest of the vacation, the look on his face led me to go easy on him. (I guess I'm just not cut out for this kind of torment.) After about thirty seconds of letting this sink in, I explained the sequence of events surrounding the two-way radio, and when I told about the transmission regarding room 26, a look of understanding and then embarrassment crossed Lance's face.

And that's when I knew I had my revenge. That's when I realized that from this day forward the same look of embarrassment would cross his face each and every time anyone told the tale of the telltale toilet. It would be an instant classic in the school archives, and I intended to tell it often.

It was one of the best Spring Breaks I had ever had. I got all the revenge on Lancelot and Bohort I could ever need, and decided to never use my immense powers for evil again.

The End.

This chapter was inspired by a story called 'The Telltale Toilet', by Daniel James.