Chapter One

Warnings: little angsty, tiny bit of smex (at least in this chapter)

Disclaimer: We all know I'm not the real owner of Naruto – but how I wish I could be!

Millions of thanks to my friend Kokiden for being kind enough to beta this for me. (Where does she find the time?!)

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Kakashi should have known something was up from the strange looks Izumo and Kotetsu gave him as he entered Konoha's gates. What were the flashes of emotions that ran across their faces? Surprise? Unease? Worry? Pity? In his rush to get home, he'd quickly brushed off the expressions. A whole month away from Iruka had him anxious to see his lover. The last several hours, his fantasies had dwelled on nothing but their reunion.

He smiled at the images floating through his mind. He loved returning home to a sleeping Iruka, gently waking him with soft kisses and playful nibbles placed all over his bronzed body. Once Iruka was fully awake, Kakashi would then roughly, almost savagely take him, pounding and thrusting relentlessly into his lover's welcoming warmth. After recovering from the first "round," Kakashi would take his time making love to him until they drifted off to sleep from sheer exhaustion. In the morning, Iruka would wearily drag himself to work while swearing he wouldn't let Kakashi do that to him again. And yet, when he came home from the academy, Kakashi would waste no time undressing Iruka and making love to him again. Once Iruka fell asleep in his arms, Kakashi's eyes would gaze down onto that beautiful face and silently thank the gods to have been so blessed to have found his soulmate. He also thanked them for still being alive and for having been able to keep his promise to his lover that he would return from the mission.

The second clue should have been coming home to an empty house. Thinking about taking a quick shower before joining his lover, Kakashi opened the front door, and his smile faded as Iruka's chakra did not greet him. He hurried through each room and flipped on the lights. It was almost 4 a.m., and Iruka was not in their bed. Running through the house, he stopped and stood panting in the living room. No note. No Iruka. And from the look of things, he had not been home in several days. A knot formed in the pit of Kakashi's stomach.

The third clue not only almost stopped his heart but also made his blood run cold. He walked through the house a second time when realization hit him. Some of Iruka's things were gone; besides clothing, these were items of importance to Iruka: pictures, photo albums, his favorite book and his favorite pillow. What the hell is going on!?

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It had taken less than an hour to locate Iruka. Kakashi debated on who to wake up but decided against waking anyone and to search on his own first. As he stood on the covered porch, he was aware he was a scary sight. He still wore the same dirty clothes from the mission and was sweaty and dirty. He didn't care. He only wanted—no, needed--to find Iruka. Thankfully, lights were on within the small house. He rubbed his abdomen in a useless attempt to stop its churning. He gathered his thoughts and knocked.

Hinata opened the door. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Kakashi-sensei!"

"Mornin' Hinata. I'm sorry to disturb you so early."

"It's all right. We're already up." She glanced behind herself. "Pl…please come in. We're about to eat breakfast."

Loud laughter caused Kakashi to look over Hinata's shoulder. He knew that laughter. Damn. And I'll have to deal with him as well as Iruka. He cleared his throat. "I would like to speak with Iruka."

"Um…yes. Yes. He's with …"

Naruto appeared behind Hinata. He placed a hand on her shoulder, gave it a gentle squeeze and smiled at her. "Hinata, breakfast is ready. Who's at the door?" Seeing his former sensei standing in the doorway, Naruto's blue eyes narrowed in anger. "So you're back."

Kakashi felt the temperature drop several degrees. "Mornin' Naruto. I'm here to talk to Iruka."

"You're got a lot of nerve…"

Hinata touched her husband's arm. "Naruto. Go get Iruka-sensei."

"Like hell I will! Kakashi-sensei, you're …"

"Naruto." Iruka's stern voice interrupted. "Naruto. Please let him in." His eyes would not meet Kakashi's.

Kakashi's heart jumped at the sight of his lover. Iruka was here, safe and unharmed. Iruka's skin lacked its usual golden glow. The lifelessness of the normally smiling eyes sent a shock through the copy nin's soul. "Iruka." He stopped before his voice cracked.

Hinata glanced from one man to the other before saying, "Iruka-sensei, Naruto and I are leaving. You two take all the time you need." She pushed the protesting Naruto toward the door.

"Hinata! This is our house! I'm not leaving him alone with Iruka-sensei!"

"They need to talk. They need privacy." Seeing Naruto was not going to waiver, she added, "Besides, I need to pick up groceries if you want my beef ramen for dinner."

Naruto stopped protesting but was clearly torn on what to do. "Fine. They can talk." He followed Hinata to the door before turning back to the two men who stood facing each other, but who hadn't spoken one word. "Iruka-sensei, if you need me I'll be here in a blink." His eyes glared at Kakashi once more before leaving.

Once the door closed, Kakashi spoke. "I came back to find you gone. What's going on?" Needing to touch Iruka to reassure himself that the chunnin was indeed okay, Kakashi took a step toward him, and his heart squeezed when Iruka stepped back.

Iruka turned his back to him. "Let's go into the kitchen. I'll pour us tea."

Kakashi silently followed while his mind whirled with endless questions. Why did Iruka leave? What is Naruto so mad about? Why does it seem several people know what's going on, several except me?

Entering the kitchen, he slowly sat on the nearest chair and watched Iruka's unsteady hands set a cup of tea in front of him before seating himself across from the jounin. The air felt tense, as if something would snap at any moment.

"Kakashi. A lot has happened since you left." Iruka gave a small, unfelt laugh. "Actually, it looks like a lot has happened even before this mission…"

"I'm listening." He placed both hands around the cup in an effort to keep from moving and embracing Iruka. The expression on Iruka's face told Kakashi something was terribly wrong. Was he sick? Did I do something wrong? Did he find out…

Iruka gazed into his tea. "Four years ago…when you were on the six-month mission in the Stone Country…I remember when you returned. You were different. You seemed so distant. I waited for you to tell me what it was, like you always do. I knew it would take time, so I didn't push. I've never pushed." He carefully turned the cup in his shaky hands. "Maybe I should have...then …all this…"

Kakashi's stomach began churning again. Why is he bringing up that horrible time? We'd been together a year before I left on that mission. I had problems opening up to him. I still had trust issues. We'd just moved in together. "I remember the mission…it was one I wish I could forget." He stared down into his cup while visions of that mission ran through his mind.

"It appears you did forget some of it. You forgot some as soon as you came home or maybe you forgot on purpose." Iruka exhaled a long, shaky sigh. "If you had told me back then..."

Kakashi glanced up at the sound of Iruka's distress. Surprised to see tears in the chocolate-brown eyes, he reached across the table to touch the tear-stained cheek. "Iruka."

Suddenly jumping up, Iruka furiously swatted away his hand. "Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me again!" He gulped in deep breaths then lowered himself back into his seat. Appearing to have calmed himself, he swallowed hard and whispered, "How could you do that to me…to us?"

Confused, and now shaken from seeing Iruka's reaction, Kakashi carefully chose his words. "I'm obviously lost. I don't understand what events from four years ago would have to do with us now. Talk to me."

"You met someone back then…you met …you slept with someone. Do you remember now?" Iruka cursed himself as a sob escaped him. He slammed his fist on the table, knocking over both cups of tea. "You slept with someone!"

Kakashi flinched as if he had been slapped. His heart raced while he sat there staring at his livid and distraught lover. He willed his heart to slow down, but it would not listen.

Iruka angrily swiped away his tears. He choked once then announced, "Three weeks ago…I met your son."

Those words did stop Kakashi's heart.

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A/N: I started this story last year and got as far as chapter 4. I'm hoping that by posting it here, I'll get "motivated" to finish it. I have the ending already decided…now to just type it out. Feedback is greatly appreciated! Next chapter should be up within the next few days. Currently I am home recovering from surgery and am finally feeling like being online again…but it can only be for short periods of time. Thanks for any reviews!