I don't believe Mario's last name is Mario : All in one!

Thank you for choosing to read this. These are all 5 parts, the lost ending and the first joke about Mario's surname in "Even Mario isn't perfect." All combined into one fanfic to make the jokes more enjoyable! As well as all the jokes being together in one some extra lines have been added to add more humor. Special thank you to DrRockz for giving me the idea of the lost ending and Walkazo for the update.

Mario and Luigi are the "Mario Brothers" and people get the idea that must mean their last name is Mario. Hence Mario's name is Mario Mario. I can't believe people really choose to believe that without putting any thought into it whatsoever. O.K what parents would ever name their kid Mario Mario? Mario would be made fun of for life and beaten up a ton in school. I can just imagine a ton of very bad shit that would happen if Mario was really named that. Let me give the examples.

Mario goes into a bank to open a bank account.

"I'd like to open a bank account,please." Mario said to the receptionist
"Full name please?" asked the receptionist.
"Mario Mario." Replied Mario
The receptionist just made a confused face and thought "WTF?" He then spoke "No jokes please, sir." He frowned.
"I'm serious! That's my name!" Mario got a little nervous.
The receptionist had enough. "Security, throw this troublemaker out!"

Imagine a Grocery store. Imagine Mario as a teenager, he is underage and taking out alcohol.

"Heh heh, with this fake ID, I'll be sure to get this beer!" Mario thought. Mario took the alcohol to the store clerk.

"Oh nice try Mario Mario if that is your name, I can tell this is a fake and an idiot made it. He used your first name twice." Frowned the store clerk.

Mario was in shock "But my name really is Mario Mario!"

"Put the alcohol back and leave before I call the police!" yelled the store clerk.

Imagine a job Interview. Mario applying for job at hardware store.

The Job interviewer looked over Mario's CV. "Well, hello there Mr. Mario...Mario? Is that really your name!?"

"Yes." Mario said simply

The job interviewer thought to himself "Who names their kid Mario Mario? His parents are lunatics. And if his parents are lunatics, that must mean their son is a lunatic too. He's not right for a job at this store."

Mario thought to himself too. "I know that look on his face, he hates me, oh well maybe I'll start my own plumbing business get my brother Luigi and call it Mario Brothers Plumbing!"

Also it must me confusing as hell.

This scene takes place at Princess Peach's castle

"Mario!" Princess Peach yelled on her throne.

Mario came running "Yes, princess Peach?

"Oh…..not you, I was calling Luigi by his last name."

Mario walked away sulking. "Goddamnit! That's the third time this week this has happened! That's it I'm changing my name!"

I could go on and on. Next time you choose to believe something kids, put some thought into it. So why are Mario and Luigi called the Mario Brothers or the Marios for short? My guess is that it's a team name because Mario is the most famous one out of the brothers but what do I know?

Just remember these are only jokes. Don't take me seriously.

Mario Mario? Hmmmm…..I wonder what Mario's parents were like?

In a hospital. A woman is giving birth.

"Congratulations, Mrs Mario!" cheered the doctor. "It's a boy! Despite all that crack you smoked in the past. He's a healthy boy!"

Mrs Mario shredded a tear in happiness. "Aw he's so cute! I wonder what I'll name him." She said.

Mr Mario entered the room. "I'm here! Where's the baby?"

Mrs Mario giggled. "Right here. Hello dear, you're wearing your shirt backwards and your underwear over your trousers again."

Mr Mario looked at Mrs Mario's face and pointed "And I see you haven't found a way to stop your drooling habit. Honestly people think we're such idiots, I wish we could prove we do have brain cells. We may both take drugs but we've still got brains!" He raised down his hand.

Mrs Mario looked down at their newborn baby. "What do you wanna name him?"

A thought balloon goes over Mr and Mrs Mario's heads. They are both clueless.

Suddenly Mrs Mario finally thought of something. "Oh I know a name for him. How about Mario?"

"That's our last name dear." Mr Mario frowned

Mrs Mario shrugged. "Aww...let's give him the name anyway. This thinking is killing me."

Imagine Mario in school. Mario would have been bullied a lot. Plus there's this.

The teacher got ready to take roll call. "I'd like to take role call please." He said looked at a sheet of paper on a clipboard. "Andrew Henderson?"

"Here!" Andrew shouted.

The Teacher looked back at his clipboard "Susie Todd?"

"Here!" Susie shouted.

The teacher looked back at his clipboard again. "Mario Mario?"

At this point some students turn and give Mario a strange look.

Mario raised his hand. "Here!" he shouted. He then thought "Every frickin…morning they stare at me, I get how I have a weird name, Get over it! I bet I get bullied again at recess."

The teacher continued "Luigi Mario? Is Luigi Mario here today?"

More students turn to stare at Mario and then Luigi. Mario groaned.

Imagine this scene. Mario tries to check into a hotel room.

Mario walked up the receptionist. "I'd like a hotel room for the night please."

"Full name please?" asked the receptionist

"Mario Mario." Mario answered

The receptionist frowned. "Sir, seriously what's your full name?"

Mario began to get angry "I am serious! It's Mario Mario. I'm really tired, do you really think I'd be joking?"

The Receptionist pointed to the door. "Until you take this seriously, you can just leave."

"Goddamnit!" Mario sulked.

Imagine a neighborhood.

Mario is driving a car, he then hears police sirens and is pulled over by a police officer. Mario rows down his window and waits for the police officer to come to his window.

"What seems to be the problem officer?" Mario asked the officer.

"You were going 15 miles over the speed limit!" shouted the police officer.

"Oh…..I'm sorry officer." Said a sympathetic Mario.

The police officer refused to calm down. "I'm booking you and you're getting a fine! What's your full name?"

"Mario Mario." Mario answered

The police officer was really annoyed down "Sir….."he growled. "Don't fool around with me, you are talking to someone from the police."

"No really. Mario Mario!" cried Mario a little nervous.

"Right! That's it!" The police officer yelled. He thentakes out his club and beats Mario silly.

"Ow! Ow! Ooouch!" Mario cried in pain.

Imagine a Supermarket. Mario and Luigi are going into a store to buy some groceries. When they do, they are greeted a surprise by some staff and the store manager.

The manager walks up to Mario. "Congratulations! You're our one million customer! We would like to award you this cheque for one million gold coins!"

"Wow!" Mario cheered

"We just need to write your name on the check. What's your full name?" asked the manager.

Luigi gulped. "Uh...put it under Luigi Mario." He suggested.

The manager turned to Luigi. "Sorry sir, but you're the one million and one customer. The cheque goes to this guy here!" He then turnedback to Mario. "Now what's your full name?"

"Mario Mario." He answered

"Very funny sir." The manager replied a little annoyed. "Really what's your name?"

"Mario Mario!" Mario shouted.

The manager was really angry now. "Right! If you're just gonna fool around with me! Then no cheque! The manager ripped it up and walked away angrily. "Everybody get back to work!"

The Mario Brothers just stand there looking shocked.

"Luigi, I think I'll hang myself this afternoon." Said Mario in a depressed voice.

"Count me in too, bro." Luigi replied also depressed.

A prisoner jailed for numerous murders with a knife has escaped, and as for his next victims, what terrible luck that they were plumbers with incredibly stupid names. Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.

Mario and Luigi are calling the emergency services hotline. In the mushroom kingdom the number to call emergency services is 1000. They are in their bedroom with the door locked.

Luigi was in panic. "The murderer is breaking into our house! Quick Mario! Dial 1000!"

"You don't need to tell me twice! I'm dialing!" cried a terrified Mario.

The phone operator on the other end picked up the phone. "Hello you've reached 1000 emergencies!"

Mario tried to remain calm as he spoke into the phone. "There's a man in our house trying to kill us! Our address is 24 Melmont Road, Mushroom Kingdom."

"May I ask who's speaking?" asked the phone operator.

"My name is Mario Mario." Replied Mario

The Phone Operator made a strange face. "Uh….It's who?"

"It's Mario Mario." He responded.

The phone operator sighed. "Another prank caller." She said quietly to herself and hung up.

Mario was in complete shock. "Oh, you gotta be shitting me!" he yelled "Damn my stupid, lazy uncreative parents!"

Luigi gave a small nervous smile. "Good thing we're video game characters, having more than one life, huh?"

Imagine a hardware store.

Mario and Luigi are at a checkout paying for a new hammer. Mario is holding a cheque book. He is sulking and doesn't look happy.

"God! I can't believe I had to drag my parents all the way to the bank, just so they could say they really gave me the name of Mario Mario and show them proof on my birth certificate!" Mario thought to himself. "It's like me getting my driver's license all over again."

The woman at the checkout looked up from scanning her items. "That's 55 gold coins." She said

"Do you take cheques?" asked Mario.

"We sure do." The woman replied.

Mario wrote a cheque and handed it to the woman.

The woman made a strange face at seeing the cheque. "Sir, you've written your first name twice. I can't accept this." She spoke

Mario was at a loss for words. "But my name is...and..." he struggled "Oh son of a bitch, I'm not even gonna bother!"

In a huff Mario storms out the store without his hammer angry.

The woman at the checkout was in shock. "What's his problem? He just made a simple mistake."

Luigi smiled. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Ever remember back to the days of Donkey Kong? The very first Mario game? It turns out that the girl you rescued wasn't princess Peach, but Pauline. Ever wondered why they broke up?

This takes place in Mario's apartment New York City Brooklyn. The year is 1981.

"Mario, I can't believe you rescued me from that horrible ape!" cheered Pauline "The way you jumped over those barrels!"

"Hey just call me "Jumpman." Mario grinned.

"By the way, speaking of names, of all the time we've been dating you've never told me what your last name is."

Mario thought it over a bit. "My last name? Same as my first, making my name Mario Mario."

Pauline was rather surprised and rather confused. "Mario Mario!? Who were your parents! A bunch of lazy, weird drugged stoners!?"

"Good guess. Have you met them?" asked Mario.

Pauline shook her head. "I don't believe this. How can you live with that name?"

"It ain't easy believe me. I was bullied a lot in school. Good thing I knew self-defense back then."

Pauline then picked up her purse and sat up from the living room chair. "Er...Mario I gotta go. I got work tomorrow." She then thought to herself "What a weirdo! Chances are he's just as weird and stupid as his parents."

Pauline never called back, making Mario super depressed and hence begun his shroom addiction and making him like his parents, and began his many trips to "the Mushroom Kingdom." Hence the game "Super Mario Brothers" And there you go folks, that's the reason Mario takes drugs. The depression which is given to him by his name , along with it being a family tradition, let's say.

The following scene takes place at the Mario Brothers home in the mushroom kingdom.

Mario is sitting on a couch watching the T.V. He is watching a quiz show.

The host on the television was presenting some prizes. "For this chance to win 20 games for the Wii. Just answer this question. What year did the first Sonic game appear? Calls only cost 1 gold coin. Just dial the following number on the screen."

Mario thought it over. "Hmmm...Just one coin? I think I'll give it a shot."

He dialled the number

The host on the T.V hears the number and answers the phone.

"Yes?" asked the host

"The answer is 1991!" shouted Mario

"Congratulations!" cheered the host. "What's your name?"

"Mario Mario." Mario replied.

The host looked confused. "Er...I think we've got some problem on your phone. You said Mario twice."

"That's my name! Mario Mario!" Mario yelled angrily.

"Sir, call back when you get your phone fixed." The host then hung up, Mario was shocked.

Mario put down the phone and got into a rage. "DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! WHAT'S THE POINT OF EVEN HAVING A FUCKING PHONE IF EVERYBODY I GIVE MY NAME TO HANGS UP ON ME!"

Now imagine the Mario brothers home (again)

Luigi came down the stairs and walked to Mario on the couch. "Mario, he said I'm expecting an important package today, and I need to go meet Daisy at the mall. Will you get the door if it rings?"

"Sure, bro!" Mario smiled

Luigi replied. "I need you to do this. The car is broken and it's a long distance to the post office. It's about over an hour's walk. The car's in the shop getting repairs."

Mario continued to smile "What are brothers for?"

At this Luigi leaves. Some time later the doorbell rings. Mario answers it.

The Mailman looked at a sheet of paper on a checkboard. "Hello I have a package for a Luigi Mario?" he asked

"Oh he's out." Replied Mario.

The Mailman handed Mario the checkboard. "Oh well he needs to sign this."

"I'll do it." Mario took hold of the clipboard. Mario signs it and hands it to the mailman.

The mailman looks at the clipboard with a weird look. "Sir, you've accidentally written your first name twice."

"My name is Mario Mario."

The mailman frowned. "Right, if you're gonna put fake names. Maybe Luigi Mario should come and get this package himself."

The mailman takes the package and walks off. Mario closes the door.

"Arrrggghhhhhh!" he shouted "Luigi's gonna kill me!"

Imagine a golf course.

Mario and Luigi have played through a game of golf in a golfing competition. They have finished the game and are waiting for the manager on top of a stage to announce the winner.

Luigi boasted to Mario " I'm telling you, bro. I've won, I've always been better than you at golf!"

Mario rolled his eyes. "As if! I totally creamed you!"

The manager then announced the name of the winner into a mic. "And the winner is Mario! Can we have…."

At this Mario screams with joy. "Yes! YES!"

As Mario shouts so loud, the manager doesn't get to finish what he's saying. Mario runs on the stage in front of the tons of people watching him, takes the trophy, and then takes the mike.

"Thank you so much! But you should know better than you can't beat ol' Mario at golf!" Mario grinned.

The manager gave an angry face to Mario. "You're not Luigi Mario!" he growled.

"What?" asked a confused Mario but still smiling.

"I mentioned the last name first. If you let me finish. I would have said the winner is Mario. Luigi Mario." The manager responded

Mario's smile dropped. "Oh no." he gulped.

The audience starts laughing loudly at Mario. Mario grows extremely embarrassed, drops the trophy and mike and runs off. Luigi walks on the stage and takes the trophy.

"Thank you everybody." He smiled "This year's golfing competition was great. See you next year."

Later Mario and Luigi are driving home in their car. Mario is covering his bright red face with his hat, enormously embarrassed and crying slightly. Luigi looked at his brother for a second.

"Sheesh…." Luigi thought to himself. "Seeing as I have a name which makes more sense. Makes me wonder why it's me who's the shy one in the games and he isn't the cowardly wimp. Well at least Nintendo had more common sense when it came to Wario and Waluigi. According to the Mario Party games, least they gave them the name of the Wicked Bros and not the Wario bros."

(And yes that fact about Wario and Waluigi is true, if you want proof just play Mario Party 5 and put Wario and Waluigi into a team, they're called the Wicked Brothers not the Wario brothers. Heh...Wario Wicked and Waluigi Wicked. Nice.)

After being sick of the torture given to him by his name. Mario finally decides to change his name. Special thanks to DrRockz for this last idea and to Walkazo for the idea of the new ending. Be sure to check their fanfics out and subscribe to them if you enjoy their work!

For this scene. Mario in a courtroom. Mario is dressed in a business suit and is not wearing his trademark cap with the M on it. He is talking to a judge.

The Judge looked over some papers. "So why do you want to change your name? And I have to say, is there a reason you only put your first name, on the form?" he asked.

Mario then began his outburst. "I want to change my name, because it gives me nothing but TORTURE! I was bullied a ton in school, people stare at me strangely whether my name is read out or they burst out laughing, I can't order items off Ebay or Amazon, because people think I've screwed up my mail details. I can't sign checks! I can't apply for a driving license or a bank account! The police have beaten me up over my name! I can't win prizes in magazines or on television when I give them my name and address details. I can't apply for jobs which is why I'm just a lowly plumber. I think my girlfriend has actually broken up with me over my name. I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON WHY MY NAME FUCKING SUCKS!"

Everybody was shocked at Mario's outburst. "Whoa!" cried the judge and then said calmly. "Relax...young man. You're in a courtroom. Your name can't be that bad. What is it?"

Mario sighed. "It's Mario Mario." He said quietly.

The judge made a strange face. Right. You really expect me to believe that? Some people in the court started laughing.

Mario became very annoyed "See? Look at what it's doing right now!"

"Young man, it's not right to pull pranks on a judge." He smiled

Mario snarled very angrily. "Right. That's it, I was hoping not to do this." He gritted his teeth in extreme anger.

Mario pulls out a fire flower and becomes Fire Mario. Mario's blue business suit turns white, and his black tie becomes red. He then throws a fireball at two of the men laughing at him, killing them instantly. The courtroom comes out their laughter and gasps at this sudden behavior.

Mario yelled in an angry and evil voice "Let me change my name now, or I'll fireball your ass to hell. Along with everybody in this court room!"

The judge gulped "Very well, Mario Mario. What would you like your name changed to?" he said in utter fear.

"Let's change only the last name. How about Mario Vinichi?" said Mario calmly.

"Very good. I now declare your name Mario Vinichi." The judge strikes the gavel.

A huge grin came across Mario's face "YES! YYYEEESSSSS!" He cheered on extreme happiness. Mario started to laugh insanely, loving his bad luck is finally over. While Mario is cheering. He doesn't notice that the judge is quietly telling a police officer to bring in back up. After Mario cheers for about 30 seconds, he leaves the court room only to find 10 police officers pointing guns at him.

"Mario Vinichi a.k.a Mario Mario!" one of the officers yelled. "You're under arrest for murder and for threatening a judge! Get on the ground now!"

Mario, without hesitation, quickly gets on the ground. He is very quickly arrested and sentenced to prison.

Mario is in jail. Luigi (still named Luigi Mario) has come to visit him.

"Nice going, Mr Vinichi." Luigi shook his head. "There is just some things you don't do to a judge."

"Oh shut up. You could comfort me seeing as I've to get the electric chair."

Mario is in the electric chair with the switch about to be activated. Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Toad and Yoshi look at Mario with saddened faces.

"Any last words?" The prison guard said to Mario

Mario gave a small smile. "Well, at least my tombstone's not gonna read Mario Mario."

So there you go folks, now you know why Mario and Luigi are never called by their full names in the games. Still believe their last name is Mario?

THE END! THANKS FOR READING!

And once again special thank you to DrRockz for this last idea and to Walkazo for the new update to the last line!