Vampire in Chuckle City

xStarletx

A/N: Here we are guys! The PREVIEW! I hope you like it! This is the full chapter 1. I think it's hilarious, I hope you find it hilarious too. Look for this story It'll be coming out soonish!

Disclaimer: (OMG This is the last one of these I'm going to be doing!)

How's that story coming Venn?

Which story?

The one you have to write cause you lost that bet.

Oh. That one. I'm almost finished it.

How many chapters is it?

Five. I'm putting a preview up now.

Five? Five? Only five?

Uh… Yeah?

Write more.

What why?

Cause I said so?

Go terrorize Russia!

Fine I will

Fine!

Fine!

Good!

Good!

(I own nothing)

Chapter 1

Sonny's curly brown hair twitched back and forth as she paced. She had an excited smile plastered to her face, her brown eyes sparkled with adoration and she stared lovingly into a pair of red eyes that should have been his. But no, Chad sat left disregarded and forgotten as Sonny and Tawni freaked about their co-star for the next week.

Chad had been in need of cheering up, the only reason why he even sough Sonny out in the prop house was cause one smile from her made him feel better, but he hadn't gotten anything but an absent hello and the random comment every now and then, but largely he was ignored for the poster of this year's hottest Vampire. The worst thing was that he couldn't even be angry, cause even this excited over some other guy Sonny was cute, and Chad liked watching her. Even if the person she should have been getting all excited over was him.

"I can't believe this years' hottest Vampire is going to be costarring on So Random! With us!" Sonny cried, she had grabbed onto Tawni's arm and jumped a little bit. Tawni squealed and jumped with her.

"I Know! He's so dreamy, with those amber eyes!"

"I bet his eyes sparkle like a million… uh… ambers! And those fangs! TO DIE FOR!" Sonny cried. Chad growled and shook his head.

"You realize that he's not a real vampire? He just plays one!" Chad cried, he hoped he had burst their bubble, but once again he was just shrugged off.

"Oh we know that, he's just so… uh… Tawni what's the word for his vampireness?" Sonny asked.

"HAWT!" Tawni cried. Chad scowled, this wasn't helping his already sour mood. Truth be told he was nervous and antsy himself, but not in the good way. He jumped whenever his phone went off dreading the inevitable text. Chad didn't know if he could take Sonny's stupid obsession with that stupid vampire and he definitely couldn't take waiting anymore. He half wished his worst nightmare would just hurry up and take over so he could get this stupid week over with.

And his wish was granted.

K. Berkley

I'm here.

Chad sighed, he glanced at Sonny as he got up, she probably wouldn't even notice if he left right now. he looked at his phone again.

"I gotta go." Chad murmered, as he expected Sonny's farewell was disinterested. Chad left sighing to himself. Well his worst nightmare had just came true and the mistress of this hellish weekend was someone he thought he'd never have to see again, and was coincidentally waiting for him back at the falls.

Sonny sighed wistfully at the poster propped up in front of her. That brown hair that pale, pale skin, those glowing amber eyes and those red plump kissable lips. He was so… what's the word… PERFECT!

"I can't wait till he gets here!" Tawni sighed, she also harbored a bit of a starstruck crush on this vampire. Truthfully, though this Vampire was very attractive, she had someone else in mind. At least this guy took her mind off of the other guy who clearly wasn't interested her, and even if he was they could never be together. Sonny sighed and looked back at the picture, she reminded herself that her fictional Vampire would be here soon, and suddenly she was happy again.

'I know, He's so hawt, I think I'll faint when I meet him!" Sonny agreed.

"I know I have that affect on most girls, but if you could please refrain from going unconscious upon clapping eyes with me I'd greatly appreciate it. I don't feel like dealing with swooning women today." A deep British voice announced. Tawni and Sonny turned and there he was, standing at their door way.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S ROBERT PATTINSON!" Tawni screamed, she screamed and bounced up and down, then promptly passed out. Robert sighed, staring down at her. Sonny stepped over Tawni's limp body, she pulled a blanket off the couch and dropped it over Tawni.

"Ignore her." Sonny told him chuckling nervously. She took a few more steps forward as Robert took a few more steps in, the met in the middle right in front of the couch.

"Wow, I can't believe you're here." Sonny sighed. She took in his messy appearance, either he really didn't care what he looked like or he was trying for the messy look. He was unshaven and his hair was sticking up in odd places, there were bags under his surprisingly blue eyes and his clothes looked like they had been in a pile of other dirty clothes and Robert hadn't been bothered to iron them, or have someone iron them for him. But he still looked attractive, even if his kissable lips were as red as in the picture nor were they set in a serious scowl, nor attractive grim, but a sad dropping frown.

"Uh, won't you sit down?" Sonny offered indicating to the couch. Robert looked to the couch as if it would bite him and then sat down. Robert didn't just sit down, he flung himself down, sinking into the green cushions, throwing his head back so it rested on the back of the couch and then starred with a forelorn look on his handsomely scruffed up face to the ceiling. Sonny was mildly confused. This guy was nothing like the poster. She thought he'd be more…. Charismatic.

"So, uh, you're, uh…. Who are you again?" Robert asked, sitting up and looking to Sonny. He leant forward his hand folded together resting between his knees. Sonny smiled, now this was more like it.

"I'm Sonny, Sonny Monroe." She introduced, she offered a hand to shake. Robert stared at it, as if it too could bite him, before taking it and shaking it.

"it's nice to meet you, and we're doing a – uh – comedy sketch together?" Robert asked.

"Uh. Yea? Didn't you're agent tell you?"

"I didn't ask for details, just wanted work." Robert replied, he leant back against the sofa again, his eyes traveled up to the ceiling once again.

"What you didn't want a break from all that filming you just had to do?" Sonny asked. Robert turned to her, she grimaced, she no doubt sounded like some obsessed fan.

"No. I didn't." he replied.

"Why not?"

"Bloody hell you ask a lot of questions!" Robert suddenly cried. Sonny's eyes widened at the sudden outburst. Robert looked to Tawni, who hadn't moved since she had passed out.

"I was just wondering! God you're in a mood today!" Sonny growled. Robert sighed and sat forward again, once again folding his hands and resting them between his knees. He looked to them as if they could solve all his problems.

"I'm sorry. I've… just got a lot on my mind. That's all." Robert confided. Sonny immediately softened, the poor guy was having a rough time. Maybe he didn't have anyone to talk to like Sonny did.

"Hey! It's ok. You can tell me." Sonny offered. Robert turned to her a skeptical look on his face.

"No. It's alright. Really." Robert declined. Sonny wasn't about to let this go so easily.

"No seriously! Being on So Random is like having your own little comedy family. We all listen to each other's problems here. You're going to be on So Random this week, and we want you to feel like you're part of the family. You could tell me anything Robert. Honestly you could." Sonny tried to encourage. Robert seemed to perk up a little bit. No doubt the prospect of getting his huge problem off of his chest was a benefit. His eyes glanced to Tawni who looked a lot like a body in a morgue the way she was lying under that blanket.

"Oh, don't worry about her, she won't wake up unless you say her name." Sonny waved off. Robert looked to her again, he looked worried, like he didn't know if he could trust her, but she could also tell that he wanted that weight of his shoulders. He didn't want to suffer in silence anymore.

"I would need you to keep this a secret. No one else knows about this." Robert whispered. Sonny nodded and leant forward.

"I just broke up with my girlfriend. I'm not exactly taking it the best." Robert admitted.

"You broke up with Kristen Steward?" Sonny gushed. Robert hushed her.

"No, that was a publicity thing, her and I are just good friends. I was dating someone else. She wanted to keep it a secret, cause the media has this tendancy of taking everything she does and either twisting it or blowing it out of proportions. But after two years of sneaking around and not telling anyone and code names and midnight meetings I wanted something a little less evasive." Robert explained. Sonny hmmed and motioned for him to continued. So her celebrity heart throb was hooked on someone else. Fine by her, she was hooked on someone else too. A very frustrating someone else. She wondered how Tawni would handle the news… then again she couldn't tell Tawni…. But the mental picture popping up in Sonny's head was hilarious.

"I was feeling like she was ashamed of me, we could never go anywhere public together, I always ended up going to premiers with someone else like Kristen or on my own, and she'd be there with some piece of eye candy she swore she never cared about and was only pretending for the camera. But I was still jealous, come on I'm Robert Pattinson, who wouldn't want to be seen with me? So I told her that either we went public with our relationship or we were over. And now we're over." Robert finished. Sonny thought over the story, it sort of sounded like this other celebrity had dumped him. Even if he hadn't realized this Robert was much more upset about the loss of this girlfriend then Sonny had previous thought.

"Two full years of hiding! Pretending I didn't care that she was being seen with random guys, pretending like I was ok with the way things were. Well good riddance I say! I couldn't care less if she were to show up right now! I'd laugh right in her face and tell her I'm better off without her!" Robert cried, standing up.

From the hall way came the sound of a melodic female voice singing some undistinguishable song. Robert dropped back to the couch, throwing his head into his hands, his fingers disappeared into his mass of brown tangles and began to pull at the locks. No wonder his hair was sticking up oddly he was practically tearing it out.

"God! What can't I stop hearing her voice?' Robert sobbed.

"No I hear that too." Sonny told him. Robert's head whipped up, his eyes wide. He stood up just as a lively brunette tore into the room, with Chad in tow. She wore a pair of nice designer jeans that she could wiggle around in and a low cut lacy top beneath a tight Capri sweater. Dancing with her as she sung her lively turne was Chad, who didn't look like he was enjoying the situation in the least.

"Kim! Will you please STOP. THAT." Chand ordered. Sonny, who hadn't managed to get a good glimpse of the girl's face, seeing as she entered the room butt first and was still facing Chad who was facing Sonny, had noticed that Robert was attempting to smooth out his hair and his clothes. As if that could help him.

"Well if you didn't want to dance with me Dylan, you shouldn't have handcuffed me to you." She chided, the beat from her music player could be heard clearly. Chad growled, but his face brightened a little when he saw Sonny starring at him. He had handcuffed the girl to himself? Really?

"Hey Sonny this is -." Chad try to introduce but was interrupted by a loud yawn and then another loud shriek.

"Oh! My! God! You're Kimberly Berkley! The singer song writer!" Tawni cried, finally awake! Sonny beamed a famous Singer Song writer here? She noticed that Robert was look fussy, he was chewing on his lower lip The brunette turned around, she had a small oval like face with bit porcelain doll brown eyes, perfectly sculpted eyebrows and an even more perfect nose, and a smile that would have charmed the petals off of a rose bud. Her smiled faded instantly when she spotted Robert. Sonny turned to him and saw a deep scowl on his face.

"What are YOU doing here?' She asked, pointing to him. Chad's hand flew up when Kimberly pointed, proving that he really had handcuffed her to him. Now why would he have gone and done that for? That seemed pretty stupid.

"What are you doing here?' Robert countered.

"I asked you first!" Kimberly cried.

"I asked you second!" Robert snarled.

"That doesn't matter!"

"You don't matter!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"You don't make any -." Robert started but she cut him off.

"Spare me Mr. Dramatic. I'm costarring on Mackenzie Fall's this week. My agents thought it would be great to see me participating and supporting my new boyfriend's career." Kimberly announced.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Robert cried.

"Dylan here is my new boyfriend, that's why!" Kimberly cried.

"Boyfriend?" Robert and Sonny cried together, as they shot quizzical glances at one another, both surprised by the other's outburst. Chad turned surprised eyes to Kimberly who glared back.

"That's right, Dylan and I are back together." Kimberly declared. Sonny was hurt. Chad had just been there, he hadn't said a thing. She had sort of thought that they were getting better, that he might have come around and become a halfway decent person.

Beside her Robert was livid, he was seeing red, he was seeing spots. He was seeing RED SPOTS! His hands balled into fists, he felt like pummeling the living daylights out of that blonde twig.

"You said he wasn't your type, you said weren't his. For Godsake YOU LEFT HIM FOR ME!" Robert yelled. Chad turned accusing eyes to Kimberly who gave him a sheepish shrug. Chad opened his mouth but Kimberly put her finger to his lips.

"It's in the past." She told him and then turned back to Robert who was shaking with anger.

"Well early that was a mistake." Kimberly snarled with as much venom as she could muster.

"Well I'm dating, uh… Sonny here. I'm also uh… co staring on So Random. Seems our agents had the same idea!" Robett replied hastily, he wrapped an awkward arm around sonny's shoulders. She looked to Robert shocked, my God he was desperate.

"Whoa? What now? how long was I out for?" Tawni cried.

"You just met the guy!" Chad complained.

"Rebound much?" Kimberly teased.

"Oh and he's not?" Robert challenged.

"And how do you know that I didn't leave you for him?" Kimberly asked.

"Cause I broke up with you!" Robert growled, his eyes darkening with rage, his grip on Sonny's shoulder was becoming painfully tight. She wondered if he was leaving marks.

"No. You gave me an ultimatum and I didn't choose you." Kimberly explained darkly, she had taken a step towards him dragging a very hesitant Chad with her. He stared wide eyed at Robert who was a bit taller than him and much taller than Kimberly. Chad definitely didn't look like he wanted to take Robert on. Lucky for Sonny though, Robert let go of her to take a few deliberate steps towards Kimberly.

"Yea and so what? You were a horrible girlfriend!" Robert growled. Chad tried to take a step back, Kimberly who was still squaring off with Robert who was at least three heads taller then her, half facing him and half turned away.

"Yea? Well you're a terrible actor!" Kimberly cried. Everyone present gasped including Robert.

"Oh yeah? Well you're a lousy singer!" Robert challenged. Everyone gasped again, including Kimberly who stomped her foot.

"Yea! Well you look like a hobo!"

"You're outfits never match!"

"You're such a demanding whiner!"

"You're an aggravating old hag!"

For a moment they glared at each other and then declared together.

"I'm so glad we broke up!"

"Come on Dylan we're leaving!" Kimberly ordered, pulling Chad away from the whole scene. Chad shot Sonny an uncharacteristically apologetic look before Kimberly dragged him out of view.

"Yeah! Well don't bother coming back, cause I never wanna see you again!" Robert called long after she had disappeared. He walked back to the couch and sunk down. He put his head in his hands again, he was shaking. Sonny sat down beside him, how was she going to compete with a superstar singer? Especially one Chad had dated before, clearly she knew a thing or two more about him in order to get them back together, Sonny could barely get Chad to be nice to her.

"I'm sorry Sonny, it's just, I know Kim. Right now she's in her mean mode. She's dating Chad to hurt me and I didn't want her to think that she actually could hurt me. I didn't mean to drag you into all of this." Robert apologized. Sonny sighed.

"It's fine. I've been dragged into much worse than this." Sonny admitted. Suddenly Nico and Grady came in with excited grin's on their face.

"You're never going to believe this!" Nico cried.

"We just met Kimberly Berkley! She let me get a picture with her!" Grady cried.

"And she signed my chest!" Nico cried lifting up his shirt. Sonny and Robert turned to them, they were standing behind the couch. Robert's eyes had begun to water again.

"She is so HAWT! Do you think we stand a chance?" Grady asked Nico. Before he could even answer, Robert broke out into loud tears.

"She really is HAWT!" Robert sobbed, her then flopped face first into the neighbouring cushion.

"Way to go Grady! You broke the vampire!" Nico snarled.

"It's ok. Do you want me to get Kimberly to take her picture with you too?" Grady offered.

"KIMBERLY!" Robert bawled, his voice smothered by the pillow, but it was clearly still very loud.

"GUYS!" Sonny hissed, both Grady and Nico put their hands above their heads and backed away, running out of the prop house. Tawni who hated dealing with anyone's feelings unless they were her own left too, leaving Sonny to clean up the blubbering vampire.

So much for being a heartless bloodsucker.

Alright guys. This is the end. I've offically pressed completed for this story. Tell me what you think. I think there's going to be five chapters in this story, it's not a long one, but the chapters themselves are pretty long and contian quite a bit. Hopefully some of you will read this story. I worked hard on it cause I had no choice and nothing I wrote my friend was good enough. She likes this though. I love you guys so much! Hope you loved reading my story, and loved reading this little preview!

Thanks so much.

Raven