Title: Forgetting is Harder
Author: Dorri
Summary: Now their unorthodox herd wasn't so unorthodox anymore. They were just a family of mammoths now, blending in with all the other herds composed of the same species.
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: The characters of Ice Age belong to 20th Century Fox and Blue Sky Studios.
Forgetting is Harder
The night was a little too quiet for comfort, but beautiful nonetheless. Manny stared up into the navy sky, his brown eyes fixed on the pale moon that cast its light amongst the camp, creating many shadows upon the ground. It had been quite some time since he had truly taken a moment to really admire the moon. Generally, it was something he sometimes did when his mind would start to drift.
His mate snuggled closer to him and he had to take a quick moment to really think of how lucky he was to have her, especially now.
"Ow! Hey, guys, knock it off! That does hurt, you know!" Sid's voice suddenly broke the peaceful silence. No doubt he was under attack by Crash and Eddie again, who he could clearly hear laughing.
"Nice one, fellas!" came Diego's voice this time. "You got 'im real good that time."
"Hey, will you guys keep it down?" growled Manny, turning to glare at the group but quickly realized that there was no one there to scold. Realization set in just as quickly as it had left him moments before, serving as a painful reminder that they were all gone. His heart clenched tightly in his chest and he felt a large lump form in his throat. Why? Why did he keep allowing himself to forget? It was just too much.
"Manny?"
The bull mammoth turned his head, looking sadly to his mate. "Oh, Manny…" The female's eyes softened with despair.
"I swear, I keep hearing their voices, Ellie."
"I know, I know." The female sighed. "There's not a day goes by that I swear I don't hear Crash and Eddie running around, causing all kinds of trouble," she said with a laugh. She locked her trunk with the grieving male's, hoping to soothe him.
Manny knew what to expect. He knew that the life span for other species wasn't like his, or at least he thought he knew this. But what did that matter? Whether it truly registered with him or not, it wasn't going to take away the pain. Though it had been years since the herd's last death, the pain never seemed to ease, making Manny question who the hell had come up with that "Time heals all wounds" nonsense.
0ooooooo0
Eddie's death had been the most unfortunate. It came two years after Peaches' birth, and happened on the most beautiful day the herd had seen in weeks. Normally, he and his brother were aware of their surroundings, even when they were out running around like wild children, but neither had time to react that time. The hawk came out of nowhere, scooping up the possum before his brother could even blink. Their screams of terror could be heard for quite some distance and certainly did not go unnoticed by the remaining herd members.
Being the fastest in the group, Diego had tried desperately to chase the hawk down in hopes of saving the marsupial. He followed the bird for hundreds of yards, hardly ever looking to the ground to make sure he didn't trip over any stones or protruding roots. Eddie's desperate pleas for help were more than the feline could bear, but they had fueled his determination to stay in pursuit. Just when he had actually managed to get directly under the hawk, his vision started blurring, just as he had feared it would. Eddie's cries for help could still be heard, but were getting fainter and fainter as Diego began to slow down, his fatigue overwhelming him.
"No," he had managed to say before finally collapsing. He woke to the sound of hysterical sobs and the gentle touch of Sid's clawed hand on his head, petting him reassuringly. The sloth didn't say a word, but his expression had clearly said, "You did your best, buddy." Diego looked on past Sid to see that most of the sobs were coming from Ellie, but he could see that both Crash and Peaches were weeping quietly as well. For days, Diego had blamed himself, despite everyone telling him that he had no reason to feel responsible. But he still did, and his self-blame left him lying awake for many nights after that.
Crash's death wasn't far behind Eddie's. Just three months later, in fact. Everyone speculated what it was that killed him, but Ellie had been positive that she knew the cause. While Crash and Eddie had certainly lived longer than what was expected of possums, Ellie didn't suspect it had anything to do with age. She knew Crash had died of a broken heart. The possum's mental health had crumbled unimaginably after his brother's death, and he barely ate a thing, thus his physical health became just as bad. They had truly been as close as brothers could ever hope to be.
After that, Ellie had grown much closer to Diego and Sid, no doubt in Manny's mind that she was trying desperately to fill that void that her possum brothers left behind, but the female would still slip in and out of depressions. But it was never something she couldn't pull herself out of, thankfully. After all, she had a two-year-old child to look after. For her child's sake, she just couldn't allow her heath to deteriorate. She had to be strong.
During the years that followed those events, Manny had noticed Diego becoming quieter over time, and his health certainly hadn't looked top notch, either. The mammoth always cursed himself for never talking to the tiger about any problems he was having, but having known Diego for so many years, he figured any attempts would have been futile. And how right he had been.
Diego had truly been grateful for Manny having not asked any questions. It had been so hard for the tiger to even admit to himself that he wasn't who he used to be. With his pride still a picture of health, it would have been impossible for him to admit it to anyone else, but it was true. Only after Eddie's death had Diego understood the reason for his constant fatigue - he was just getting old. He had been twelve when Peaches was born, middle-aged for a saber. And that's when it dawned on him just what kind of a predicament he was in. If he had been in a normal saber pack, he really wouldn't have had anything to worry about. The younger sabers would always hunt together and bring back a kill that was big enough for everyone to share. The elders would never go hungry, and they didn't have to worry about killing themselves for a kill of their own. Diego didn't have that luxury.
Diego had been living with a pack of herbivores. Even if they had been willing to help the saber out in finding a meal, there was no way they'd be able to succeed. And even if they could, Diego would have never even dreamed of asking. His pride always came out on top. Always.
The saber would go days without a meal sometimes, always lying to the group and telling them that he always managed to make a kill so they wouldn't worry. Though he failed countless times, he didn't give up. Even if it took him hours, he had been determined to prove to himself that he could do it on his own, despite his aging. And one day, he went for a hunt and never came back. Everyone spent the entire evening searching, scanning the forest and then next the meadows. That was where they eventually found him, lying lifelessly in the cold dirt. His heart had simply given out during the chase. The tiger had pushed himself beyond his limitations.
In the end, his pride had finally killed him.
It made sense that Manny and Sid were the most devastated, as they had known the saber the longest. Ellie knew they were equally devastated, but their reactions couldn't have been more different. Manny had spent countless days staring out into space, sometimes literally, his eyes clouded with sorrow. On some days he wouldn't eat, and some nights he wouldn't sleep. All his mate could do was whisper comforting words to him as she silently wept with him time and time again.
Unlike Manny, Sid let every ounce of his despair show through loud, anguished screams and destruction. Upon first discovering that the feline was dead, the sloth had latched onto his body, screaming at the top of his lungs as tears came in rivers. "He's not dead! He's not dead!" he would shout again and again, shaking the cat violently in hopes of waking him. Ellie had been unable to bear the sight and quickly fled the scene, taking her sobbing daughter with her, but Manny had been frozen where he stood for some time, staring at the heartbreaking scene before him with his mouth agape.
"Tell 'im he's going to be okay, Manny," he had heard Sid's voice say in the back of his mind, the memory of that eventful day at Half Peak still very vivid. It was a memory he would not soon forget.
Not this time, Sid.
Sid had cried all day after Diego's passing. Often he would look to the sky and scream, "It's not fair!" Sometimes he would do this while grabbing whatever he found lying around and throwing it during his raging fits of despair. After several days, he became just as silent as Manny, always staring off into the fire with little emotion.
"I guess that was his ninth life, huh Manny?" he had said one day, his voice void of his usual happiness and instead was raspy and tired. The mammoth couldn't bring himself to respond.
As time passed, Sid became more and more able to cope with the tiger's death. Obviously the first few months weren't going to be easy. It was especially a big relief for Ellie, as she had thought the sloth may have faced the same fate Crash had. But he had managed to pick himself up again, knowing that Diego would not want him to destroy his health and leave the rest of the herd to grieve over him as well.
There wasn't a single night that passed that Sid never thought of the tiger as he started the campfire. He would always smile to himself as he thought of the time his tail had accidentally caught on fire and the saber had been gracious enough to put it out for him. Every time this memory presented itself in his mind, he could always swear he felt Diego's arm around his neck and his paw rubbing the top of his head roughly.
Manny was too smart for his own good. It wasn't very difficult for him to figure out what had brought Diego to his unfortunate end. He knew tigers aged three times faster than mammoths did; he knew Diego was getting older, and he also knew that hunting had to be getting harder and harder for him. He just couldn't do it anymore, and even at that critical stage, he refused to admit to the group he was suffering. But that had always been Diego's way. He always had to put on a tough face and pretend that nothing was wrong. He would never ask for help.
Sid lived another six years after Diego's death, and he couldn't have asked for a better life. Things had certainly started out rocky for him in the beginning, what with his own family hardly caring at all about him and abandoning him year after year during the migration. But he had found his silver lining. He had found the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for, and he would have never traded them for anything.
Manny recalled the night of Sid's death as yet another quiet but beautiful night. The old sloth had slept close to him that night, something he normally didn't do.
"We were quite the herd, eh?" he said quietly to the mammoth, knowing he was still awake.
"Sure were," Manny had replied but said nothing else after that.
"Love ya, pal," Sid said quietly before drifting off to sleep. It wasn't until the next morning that Manny had realized that Sid had been telling him goodbye the previous night, as the sloth never woke up that morning. But as devastated as they had been to lose him, they knew he couldn't have asked for a better way to go. He had died peacefully in his sleep with the comfort of knowing his friends were by his side. Manny knew this was why Sid's death didn't destroy him mentally like Diego's had, or even Crash and Eddie's. There was no mental anguish, no suffering, and no solitude like there was with the others' deaths.
The sloth had lived thirty-four years, a life well-spent, and he had certainly left behind an unforgettable legacy. Had it not been for him, their herd would have never existed.
0ooooooo0
Manny got to his feet, feeling his mate's eyes follow his every move. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be right back," he said to her, shuffling his feet as he slowly left her sight. The moon provided him with ample lighting as he trudged along down the dirt path, coming upon his destination after traveling a short distance, which was illuminated by the soft glow of the moonlight.
The peach tree, Peaches' peach tree. It was as healthy as ever and had grown to its full height. The mammoth smiled momentarily as he remembered its origin. It was a memory he constantly relived every time he looked upon the tree: Eddie had retrieved a plump peach he had been lucky enough to find near the top of its tree, bringing it back to the calf as a surprise. Before eating it, Diego had suggested cutting the pit out first and then planting it in hopes of creating a new peach tree that would belong solely to her.
Ellie had helped her plant it and Peaches took it upon herself to keep it watered, always filling her little trunk with water and wetting the ground thoroughly to ensure the tree would succeed. They hadn't really expected much, but now the tree stood thirteen feet high.
Looking down, Manny's eyes came to rest upon the three mounds at the base of the tree. Grass had long since grown over the graves, and pink, wilted petals still covered the graves from when the tree had started blooming in the spring.
"Still can't believe how big this thing is now. Can you?" Manny asked, though he knew he wouldn't get an answer, but he always liked to think that they were listening when he spoke to them.
"Daddy?"
Manny turned, startled by the voice. His daughter approached him slowly, her emerald eyes half-lidded. It was hard for Manny to swallow the fact that his baby was now approaching the prime age of twenty. It wouldn't be long before she'd be looking for a mate of her own. The thought of little grandchildren running around in the near future made the older mammoth realize just how old he was getting himself.
Peaches looked the tree up and down, smiling proudly. "You never believed this tree would do so well, did you?" she asked rather smugly, turning to beam at her father.
"You took good care of it."
The female noticed her father's attention was on the graves, and she took a moment to stare at them as well, sighing sadly.
"Sometimes I swear I still hear them," said Manny. "It's those days I can't stand the most. Knowing that they're gone is hard enough, but forgetting is harder. Every time I hear them, for that split second I forget they aren't here anymore. I hate it."
"I know," his daughter said silently, wishing that she could come up with something more uplifting to say, but situations like this always left her at a loss for words. She brushed the petal covered graves with her trunk. "It seems like they all died long before their time," she finally managed to say after a long silence. "And Eddie…I know Eddie died before his time."
There was another short pause.
"I'm really glad you met them, though."
"Me, too."
Manny finally smiled. It was because of them that he had managed to finally turn his life around. His life had seemed hallow and meaningless before they stepped into the picture. He knew he had expressed his gratitude to them countless times through the years, but he still felt that he had never thanked them enough.
Now their unorthodox herd wasn't so unorthodox anymore. They were just a family of mammoths now, blending in with all the other herds composed of the same species.
How he missed the oddness.
Author's Note: Well…shit, now I'm sad. And it didn't help that I was listening to "Sleeping Sun" by Nightwish a lot while I was writing this D8 I don't know what possessed me to write something so depressing. I guess it's because I've read a few stories where the characters die and it just made me want to go on a fictional killing spree of my own 8D I also wanted to take a more realistic approach. I know the writers probably age the characters like they would humans, but I wanted to age them realistically. Of course I don't know how long these animals lived, but I figured their life spans were like that of their close relatives of today.
If I write anymore Ice Age fanfics, I promise they won't be as depressing. Quick, everyone go read something happy now!