Author's Note: Hello! Wow, I don't even know where to begin! I am so so so very sorry with how long it took to get this chapter up. The reason it took me so long to write it is because my Grandpa passed away back in March which was hard on me because we were really close, and I just couldn't motivate myself to do any type of writing. Then once I got Rose's PoV written and sent to Feefella, I found out that her computer had a virus so that took awhile to fix. But all is well now for both of us that I'm aware of, so hopefully, it won't take this long to update again.

Oh, and Feefella wanted me to tell you all that she is 22 so its alright for her to drink and that she is NOT encouraging minors to drink.

Now, on with the chapter!

Disclaimer: As always, the magnificent Vampire Academy Series belong to Richelle Mead!

Chapter 9

Rose's Point of View

I couldn't help but kiss him back. My arms found their way around his neck while one of his was snaked around my waist, pulling me closer and his other hand was tangled in my hair.

It had been so long since I'd kissed Dimitri that kissing him now felt like lightning had struck my lips. I felt on fire. I felt alive. I felt-

Whoa, the rational part of my brain said, wait Rose, this isn't right! But as we continued kissing, that part of my brain grew smaller and smaller. The part in me that would always love Dimitri took over. I was hyper aware of everywhere his body touched mine, even the way his fingers knotted in my hair. I pressed myself closer to him to deepen the kiss, and I could sense his own desire picking up.

When we broke away to breathe, I tried to get out of his grip, but he wasn't letting me go anywhere. We were both breathing hard, me more so than him.

"What about… what about Tasha?" I panted, my rational thinking returning to me.

Dimitri looked down at me and steadied his breathing before he answered me. "Tasha left."

I was shocked to say the least. "She…she what?" I exclaimed. She left? She couldn't have! What about her…her and Dimitri? Dimitri is her Guardian! And not to mention whatever else… I thought for sure that they were going to start a family and all that mushy shit… My mind rambled on and on.

Dimitri sighed and took a step back from me. "She left because she knew. She knew about us Rose. She knew… knows that I love you."

Holy shit. Dimitri just said he loves me. I had to be dreaming because this couldn't be happening. Somebody pinch me… I shook my head trying to clear it a little, but Dimitri kept talking.

"Tasha gave me the choice last Christmas to become her Guardian or to stay, and I thought I chose what was best for us Rose. We couldn't let our feelings for each other get in the way of protecting Lissa." He explained. But all of this I already knew. "Tasha is tired of pretending and so am I. It isn't fair that we can't return each other's feelings equally, especially since my heart has always been with you Roza. You've had my heart since I first laid eyes on you, whether I knew it or not." Dimitri took a deep breath to compose himself. "Rose, I know it's too late to apologize, you told me so, but I'm sorry. Truly I am. You just don't know how sorry I am for hurting you when I left. I could see the hurt in your eyes. I can still see it in your eyes. I know there is no way on this earth that you will ever be able to forgive me, but-"

I kissed him again. "Shut up Dimitri." I mumbled against his warm, soft lips. "I know that you're sorry, and… I forgive you." I finished looking into his deep brown eyes.

His only response was to kiss me yet again, which I surely didn't have a problem with. I somehow ended up pressed against the wall with my arms around his neck while one of his hands was on my hip and the other was once again wrapped up in my hair. It reminded me a lot of the time back at the Academy when Tasha had first arrived. Of the kiss that Dimitri and I had shared that day in the training room when I had figured out that he always fought for control just like I did. That was when this whole situation started.

The kiss was becoming very heady and deep when he broke it. "Rose… Roza, are you sure?"

"Positive Comrade." I said using my old nick name for him. I smiled at him before I pecked him once more on the lips and then started untangling myself from around him.

I turned to face him. "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't want to leave with her?" I asked looking down. I had to ask. To really make sure he wasn't about to change his mind.

He stepped forward and put a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. Even that small touch made my skin tingle. "Roza, I've been away from you for too long. I won't ever leave you again. I learned my lesson the hard way." His words made my heart beat faster. "Rose, I love you." He told me before he leaned down to give me the softest, sweetest kiss I've ever had.

After a couple of seconds, he broke away and looked at me with a question in his eyes. "But... What about you and… Adrian?"

I glanced across the room. Crap. I really didn't want to go there. But I could tell he was waiting for my answer. "It was fake Dimitri. It was actually Adrian's idea. He could tell that I still had feelings for you and he wanted to make you jealous. But like I said, it was totally fake. There was nothing there. Well, not anything for me anyway. We're just friends, that's it."

When I was done, I peeked back up at him. He didn't look upset, just thoughtful. "I see." Was all he said.

"Are you mad?" I asked quietly.

"Not at all. I can see why you did it."

I could only imagine the look that crossed my face. "Really?"

He chuckled. "Yes Roza. Though that doesn't change the way I feel about him."

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I figured as much."

Dimitri placed his hands on my lower back and rested his chin on top of my head. We stayed like that for a moment, just happy to be in each other's arms.

After a couple seconds, I pulled out of his embrace. "We better get back upstairs before Christian and Lissa wonder what has happened." I said.

Dimitri nodded his head in agreement.

We made our way up the stairs back to the main floor with Dimitri's hand on my lower back the whole time. When we made it to the kitchen, I saw that Christian and Lissa were still outside telling Tasha goodbye. I leaned against the counter and looked at them through the window.

"Are you sure you want to stay?" I asked Dimitri again. "Cause I'm really not worth it."

Dimitri grabbed me by my wrist and spun me around so fast that he could have been a Strigoi. He placed his hand on the side of my face and said, "Roza, what did I tell you? I'm never going to leave you again. And trust me, you are worth it." He leaned down to kiss me. It's like we couldn't get enough of each other. But I couldn't blame myself. I hadn't seen him in about a year, so what did you expect me to do?

The kiss started to get heady and deep, and Dimitri picked me up and set me on the bar so he wouldn't have to bend down as far. I started to lean more into him and wrap my arms tighter around his neck when the door opened. Dimitri pulled back a few inches as Lissa and Christian walked in and froze. I dropped my arms and bit my bottom lip.

Jeez Rose. You don't waste any time do you? Lissa asked me through the bond at the same time Christian said, "I am never cooking anything on that part of the counter ever again."

Dimitri stepped back and I jumped off the bar. "Sorry, we were just, uh…" I started to say.

"There's no need to explain, we saw what you two were doing." Christian replied as snarky as always.

This was one of those very rare times when I didn't have anything to say and I could feel a slight blush rising in my cheeks. We all stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments.

"Um, Christian, let's call it a night. I'm tired." Lissa spoke up breaking the silence.

Christian looked at her and nodded. "Sounds good. Besides, after what we just saw, I've kind of lost my appetite."

Lissa lightly slapped him in the arm and looked at me and Dimitri. "Goodnight Rose and Guardian Belikov."

"Please Princess, call me Dimitri." Dimitri told her.

She smiled at him, "I'll call you Dimitri as long as you call me Lissa."

Dimitri nodded and said, "Goodnight Lissa. And Christian."

Christian grabbed Lissa's arm and headed for the stairs. "Night Rose. Dimitri." He threw over his shoulder and then they were out of sight.

I turned to Dimitri. "Now what?" I asked him.

He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. "Would you like to get something to eat?"

I grinned at him. "Sure."

We grabbed our coats and headed out to the little Café down the road. We didn't say much on the way there, just held hands and were comfortable in our own silence. It felt weird being so close to each other in public after not being able to touch each other back at the Academy.

When we reached the Café, Dimitri held the door open for me, and we went to a booth in the corner. Due to the late hour, there was hardly anyone eating. Our waiter came up and took our drink orders and then left giving us a few minutes to look over the menu. When he returned he took our orders and left again to place our orders. After he was out of earshot, I looked at Dimitri and asked, "So what are you going to do now that you're not Tasha's Guardian?"

He took a drink of his water before he answered. "I guess I'll go to the Headquarters tomorrow and see if there is someone here I can guard, or just be an extra Guardian to do patrol, or whatever they need me to do."

I nodded my head. "As long as you get to stay here, I'll be happy. I know that sounds selfish… but… it's true. I mean, shouldn't the Guardians deserve to be happy too?"

Dimitri leaned over and took my hands in his on the table. "I know exactly how you feel, Roza." He looked like he wanted to say more, but then our food arrived. Dimitri had ordered the Grilled Chicken Feta Sandwich while I ordered the Buffalo Chicken Wrap.

We made small talk as we ate and after we were done, we headed out and took a small walk around Court in the rising sun. Dimitri found a snow covered bench near a frozen water fountain and pulled me towards it. He dusted the snow off with his bare hand and sat down pulling me with him. The bench was cold on my butt and I snuggled into Dimitri's side for more warmth. He put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder as I sighed contently.

He rested his head on top of mine and I turned slightly so I could place a kiss on his neck. I turned back and watched as the slowly rising sun made the snow glitter in all different directions.

I had missed Dimitri so much and I was glad that he had decided to stay. Though I wasn't really sure what was going to happen next. But I knew that whatever happened, I could deal with it as long as I had Dimitri by my side.

Dimitri's Point of View

She was kissing me back and I felt my heart rate increase. I felt secure here with Rose, like finally everything made sense. I pulled her closer, pressing my body against hers, needing to be as close as humanly possible. I let my fingers tangle in her hair, missing the beautiful locks that I had admired so long ago.

As her arms locked around my neck, memories began flooding back. The memories that used to haunt me seemed to keep me grounded now. The touches and the kissing that had tortured me for a year were now like a gift, reminding me of how much I needed this… needed her.

As if reading my mind, Rose deepened the kiss pushing harder against me. I felt my heart skip a beat and through the pain of it I felt grateful that it was keeping me grounded. I broke the kiss and pressed my forehead to hers, my breath ragged.

"What about… what about Tasha?" Rose asked gulping for air. She pulled her head back to look at me better.

I let my breathing steady before answering. "Tasha left."

"She…she what?" Rose practically yelled. She looked like she was starting to panic. I wasn't sure what was going in her head but I felt she deserved an explanation.

I sighed and took a step back from her. "She left because she knew. She knew about us Rose. She knew… knows that I love you."

She looked at me with a shocked expression, like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She shook her head a bit and I panicked. Could she think that I didn't care about her all this time?

"Tasha gave me the choice last Christmas to become her Guardian or to stay, and I thought I chose what was best for us, Rose. We couldn't let our feelings for each other get in the way of protecting Lissa." I explained, trying to make her understand. "Tasha is tired of pretending and so am I. It isn't fair that we can't return each other's feelings equally, especially since my heart has always been with you, Roza. You've had my heart since I first laid eyes on you, whether I knew it or not." I took a deep breath thinking about that night outside her window in Portland, and then thought about that final goodbye a year ago. "Rose, I know it's too late to apologize, you told me so, but I'm sorry. Truly I am. You just don't know how sorry I am for hurting you when I left. I could see the hurt in your eyes. I can still see it in your eyes. I know there is no way on this earth that you will ever be able to forgive me, but-"

She kissed me then. "Shut up Dimitri." She mouthed against my lips. "I know that you're sorry, and… I forgive you." She looked at me then, making sure I understood the truth behind her words.

I kissed her back, pressing her against the wall. I wanted to be closer than this, though our bodies were already pressed together. I wanted to sink into her, to fill that void that had been there for so long. I held onto her waist silently cursing the clothes between us.

Wait. I couldn't go that far with her could I? Should I?

I broke the kiss and looked at her again. "Rose… Roza, are you sure?"

"Positive Comrade." She smiled a little and kissed me quickly, while trying to ease away from me. I didn't want to let go of her. But I did.

Suddenly she stopped. "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't want to leave with her?" she asked looking down, hiding her face.

I hooked my finger under her chin, forcing her to look me in the eye. They hint of sadness was like a wound re-opening. "Roza, I've been away from you for too long. I won't ever leave you again. I learned my lesson the hard way." My heart thudded nervously in my chest. "Rose, I love you." I kissed her, trying to convey every emotion I felt to her, in one single kiss.

I could have stayed this way forever, damn everyone else. Forget the friends upstairs or… damn. I had forgotten about someone. "But... What about you and… Adrian?"

She focused on the far side of the room and tried to avoid my gaze. It reminded me of when she was scolded at the Academy. "It was fake Dimitri. It was actually Adrian's idea. He could tell that I still had feelings for you and he wanted to make you jealous. But like I said, it was totally fake. There was nothing there. Well, not anything for me anyway. We're just friends, that's it."

I though back to the conversation the day after the Mall trip.

You had your chance and you chose Tasha. It was the right decision for you at the time. Settle down, start a family, all that sentimental stuff that seems great at the time. But when it comes to Rose, you had your chance. That ship has sailed, and sunk, and now lies next to the Titanic. So go back in there and cuddle up next to Tasha and realize that you made your bed, even if you don't want to sleep in it anymore.

That slimy little bastard. He knew all along that this distance was killing me and loved every second of it.

"I see," I said after a moment.

"Are you mad?" If I had been a normal person I wouldn't have heard the words.

"Not at all. I can see why you did it."

She looked at me as if I had said the words in Russian. "Really?"

I laughed a little. "Yes Roza. Though that doesn't change the way I feel about him."

She laughed and wrapped her arms around me. "I figured as much."

I smiled and held her tight, loving the simple closeness. Here with her there was no Tasha and no Adrian. There was just Rose and me, and the love we shared.

After a couple seconds, Rose pulled away. "We better get back upstairs before Christian and Lissa wonder what has happened."

I nodded and followed her lead, not letting go of her. When we were upstairs, I saw that Christian and Lissa were still bidding Tasha good-bye. I felt a twinge of guilt. How could I be allowed to be this happy when she was probably suffering?

"Are you sure you want to stay?" Rose asked, breaking through my thoughts. "Cause I'm really not worth it."

I grabbed her by the wrist, spinning her around to face me. She looked startled. I held the side of her face, and tried to look stern. "Roza, what did I tell you? I'm never going to leave you again. And trust me, you are worth it." I leaned down and kissed her again. I needed this contact with her. It was the thing connecting me to any sort of happiness. I couldn't stop myself… not with Rose. She had always been the one thing I couldn't control.

I could feel that control I was clinging to start to fade. I lifted Rose from the floor and set her on the counter-top leaning closer now that she was higher up. I could feel her getting more flustered and I had to admit I was as well.

In that instant, the front door opened and I stepped back from Rose. Even as quick as I was, I knew from the looks on Lissa and Christian's faces as they stood frozen in the doorway, that they had seen us.

"I am never cooking anything on that part of the counter ever again." Christian said, disgust in his voice.

I took another step back and Rose jumped off the bar. "Sorry, we were just, uh…" She started to say.

"There's no need to explain, we saw what you two were doing." Christian replied in his signature tone.

We all stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments. No one seemed to know what to say in this moment, and no one wanted to be the first to speak.

"Um, Christian, let's call it a night. I'm tired." Lissa spoke up breaking the silence, finally.

Christian looked at her and nodded. "Sounds good. Besides, after what we just saw, I've kind of lost my appetite."

Lissa lightly slapped him in the arm and looked from Rose to me. "Goodnight Rose and Guardian Belikov."

"Please Princess, call me Dimitri." I said trying to act as if I hadn't been kissing her best friend on her kitchen counter.

She smiled politely, "I'll call you Dimitri as long as you call me Lissa."

I nodded, relieved that she was taking the high road. "Goodnight Lissa. And Christian."

Christian grabbed Lissa's arm and headed for the stairs. "Night Rose. Dimitri." He threw over his shoulder.

Rose turned and looked up at me. "Now what?"

I shrugged. I wasn't used to this. What did I do with the person I loved more than life itself now that we were free to be with each other. Start slow, I guess. "Would you like to get something to eat?"

She smiled and my heart thudded loudly in my chest. "Sure."

A short while later we were sitting across from each other in a small booth in the back corner of a tiny diner. "So what are you going to do now that you're not Tasha's Guardian?" She asked, jumping right to the big question.

I took a drink of water, and weighed my options. It only took upwards of a second for me to respond with, "I guess I'll go to the Headquarters tomorrow and see if there is someone here I can guard, or just be an extra Guardian to do patrol, or whatever they need me to do."

She nodded, not taking her eyes off me as if she were sure I would disappear. "As long as you get to stay here, I'll be happy. I know that sounds selfish… but… it's true. I mean, shouldn't the Guardians deserve to be happy too?"

I reached across the table and laced my fingers with hers. "I know exactly how you feel, Roza." I wanted to tell her we were both being selfish and that, no, guardians didn't get to be happy, but thankfully our food arrived.

The rest of dinner was small talk. Mostly we made idle chit-chat and both secretly just wanted to be touching again. To know that the other person was real. Not some horrible trick of the mind or heart.

By the time we left the diner, the sun was rising. We walked slowly, just enjoying the others company, neither wanting to let go of this moment. The only thing I could do to freeze this moment for a bit longer was to pull Rose to the nearest bench and sit with her, watching the sun come up. She huddled close to me, effected by the cold and rested her head on my shoulder. I didn't mind the closeness, though being near her rose my temperature to the point where I could have been sweating.

Rose turned her head slightly and kissed my neck, warmth spreading throughout my body. I didn't care what the new day would bring. I had everything I needed right here in this moment. I wouldn't have gone back to simpler times to save my life. I finally had Rose. I was finally home.

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