This is just for entertainment. I didn't want to offend someone and I'm sorry if I did. The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The movie belongs to Summit Entertainment, Catherine & co.

I know this isn't original, but I wanted to write my version. It's a One-Shot.

I thought it was funnier to have Nessie and Jake in the story too. Oh and it's November 2020, because I wanted Nessie to be an adult already. I just wrote it at boredom. I hope you'll like it, although it's stupid and idiot. Well, here goes nothing.

BPOV

"Have you seen my purse?" Nessie screamed from her room. We were all in the living room, watching TV, while Jacob was eating in the kitchen.

"No, Nessie. Maybe Jacob ate it." Emmett's booming laugh echoed in the room. I rolled my eyes, while Edward snarled next to me. He wasn't very happy with Nessie and Jacob's relationship, but he had learned to shut up. Well, not actually.

"I heard that one." Jacob screamed from the kitchen. "Nessie, I think your purse is under the bed."

"And why the hell is under the bed?" Nessie screamed back. Edward clenched his teeth and his eyes turned to where Jacob was. I quickly put my hand on his shoulder, knowing something bad would have happened to Jacob if I didn't. Alice laughed loudly.

"Stop that thought right now, dog." Edward yelled furiously.

Jacob's head popped out from the kitchen and winked at him. "Jealous, huh?"

Edward scoffed, glaring at him. "I don't want to know what are you doing with my daughter in your free time." he hissed.

Nessie stormed down the stairs in the living room. "Jacob Black, what have you done?" she shouted shocked. I sighed frustrated.

It was Sunday. No school, no homework, no problems. All I wanted to do was watch TV with my family, talk and have fun. But NO, of course. Edward, Jake and Nessie had to argue like always. Edward would get angry, Jacob would tease him and Nessie would yell at Jake. I knew the others agreed with me, when they sighed too.

"And where are you going?" Edward asked Nessie, trying to calm down. He pinched the bridge of his nose and I rubbed his back, tracing circles on it.

"Dad, I told you this several times. I have a date with Jake." she answered, raising her eyebrows.

Jake smiled smugly at Edward and entwined his fingers with Nessie's. She kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "We're going to watch a movie."

"Oh no shit." Edward mumbled under his breath.

"ENOUGH." Emmett screamed, standing up and throwing his hands in the air. "You're acting like three spoiled toddlers. Edward, I know you love Nessie and you want her to be safe, but cut it out. Jake, stop being an idiot and think with your brain, not with your tail and Nessie, stop acting like your dad."

All of us stared at Emmett, surprised by his outburst. A huge grin spread across Rosalie's face and suddenly, all of us were on the floor laughing. Well, all of us, except Carlisle, Edward and Jake. Edward was glaring at Jake, Jake at Edward and Carlisle was watching TV peacefully.

Carlisle switched channels till his hand froze on the remote and his eyes widened. My laughter died slowly and my eyes focused on the TV.

"How old are you?" the girl asked.

"Seventeen." the boy whispered.

"How long have you been seventeen?" the girl asked again, waiting anxiously for his answer.

"A while." the boy answered.

What the hell was that?

"Oh my God." Alice screamed. "Bella, Edward, those guys look like you. Are you sure they hadn't cloned you?" Alice wondered and I exchanged a glance with Edward.

The same expression of horror was on his face too.

"This is wrong, Edward. She's not one of us." the TV spoke again.

A new wave of horror washed through me and I saw Jasper wince. He glared at me, but sent a wave of calm in my direction.

"Hey. I look pretty." Emmett smiled smugly at us and we groaned in unison.

Coming soon. November 21.

Nobody said anything. We stared at the TV, our mouths hung open and our eyes wide open. Oh no. What was that? It's insane.

"They made a movie about us?" I screamed at the top of my lungs, making everyone wince. For the first time I didn't care. I couldn't believe it.

"We're screwed." Rosalie whimpered, holding her head in her hands. "How am I supposed to have a normal life when everyone knows that we are vampires? I can't believe it, I can't freaking believe it."

Oh no. Rose was having a breakdown. Jasper tried and tried, but Rosalie's sobs just got louder. He sighed defeated and kissed Alice's head.

"I know. Today is November 21. So the movie is out. So we are going to watch it. And I have a great idea." she stormed in her room and we looked after her, stunned.

-

We were in front of the theatre, disguised. Rosalie was still sobbing on Emmett's shoulder and I was surprised to see so many people in front of the theatre, buying tickets.

"I can't believe it. This was my date with Jake, not a family meeting." Nessie mumbled to herself.

"Did she look at me? Did she recognize me?" Rose blubbered behind me.

We finally got in and sat down on our seats, covering as much as possible our faces. The humans looked strangely at us. Who could wear sunglasses in a theater for crying out loud? Only us, of course.

I was between Edward and Jake. I elbowed them, when they wouldn't stop glaring at each other. The most disgusting part was that I had to bear the popcorn smell and Jake's loudly chew.

"Shut up, mongrel." Edward hissed, probably answering one of his thoughts.

Jake chewed again and smiled innocently. "I didn't do anything."

"Shut up." Edward repeated angrier. I rolled my eyes and sighed frustrated.

"Make me." Jake's smile grew and threw a popcorn in Edward's face. I could swear I saw red in front of his eyes, as he tried to stand up. I pushed him back into his seat and he clenched his teeth.

"No. Both of you shut up." I snarled and they nodded obediently. I winked at Nessie and she giggled.

Alice was bouncing excited in her seat, driving Jasper insane. Rosalie had a scarf all over her face and Emmett was grinning at the screen, staring into space. Only Carlisle and Esme were acting normal.

"Alice, honey, it's just a movie." Jasper shushed Alice.

"I know. I know." she said, but continued bouncing.

The movie started and we were watching it very absorbed. I entwined my fingers with Edward's and he squeezed my hand. I glared at Jake, silently telling him to stop eating. But he just shrugged and stuffed a new popcorn into his mouth.

"I'm hungry." he whispered.

"You always are." I grumbled, returning my attention to the screen.

And there I was, kissing my mother's cheek and climbing in a plane. My mouth hung open as I saw me with Charlie in the police cruiser.

"Wow, Bella, you looked like a depressed mental girl." Emmett chuckled under his breath and I shot him a death glare. He cowered in his seat.

"God, Bella, look at that room. It's ugly." Alice hissed.

"Oh thank you very much, Alice. I used to live there, you know." I mumbled sarcastically. She rolled her eyes.

Bella looked outside on the window and saw a man in a wheelchair and a boy with long black hair.

"Holy shit." Jake screamed, throwing popcorn all over us.

"Jacob." we growled at him, earning disapproval looks from the other humans.

"But that didn't happen. I wasn't there when Bella received her truck. I mean, we first met at La Push." Jake whisper-yelled at us and I nodded.

"It's true."

"But don't I look handsome?" his smug smile returned and Nessie slapped the back of his head.

"Shut up."

The gym, after Bella had hit Mike's head with the ball.

"Yes." Edward threw his hands in the air, laughing. An old lady from behind us shushed him and he smiled victoriously at me.

"Jessica is a loser." Emmett chuckled, high-fiving Edward.

In the cafeteria. Rosalie and Emmett appear.

"Oh no. Oh no, everyone saw me. Just kill me, please, end this torture." Rose whimpered, keeping tightly the scarf on her face. Emmett traced circles on her back, trying to calm her down.

A huge grin was plastered on his face. "We look sexy together, babe." Emmett whispered in Rose's ear, earning a death glare from her.

Alice and Jasper appear.

"I don't usually look that pained." Jasper commented.

"Oh Jazzy, you do, believe me, you do." Emmett chuckled under his breath. Alice lounged over and smacked the back of his head.

"That's Jazz you're talking about." Alice glared at him.

Edward appeared.

A few girls sighed behind me and I stifled a laugh. I smiled adoringly at Edward and stroked gently his cheek. "You're adorable, honey." I teased and kissed quickly his cheek.

Someone snorted next to me and a popcorn fell on my face. "Jake, if you..." I started, but he interrupted me.

"It wasn't me." he said and I turned around to see Nessie with the popcorn in her hands. She smiled innocent and shrugged. Just like her dad.

Biology class

Edward leaned over and whispered in my ear. "You almost killed me that day." I giggled and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah and you wanted to change your schedule for the entire year. Yeah I remember it." I teased.

"I'm trying to watch a movie right here." Emmett scolded us and Edward and I laughed quietly.

We watched silently as the Cullens came to school, without Edward and I sighed remembering that. Day after day, I waited for him to appear, but when I finally thought he wouldn't, there he was.

In the parking lot, before the accident.

"Oh no. It's the day you saved me from the van." I whispered to Edward and he kissed the top of my head.

"I would have done it no matter what."

The van slipped on the ice and came towards Bella. Edward stopped it in time.

"Nooooooooooo." Rosalie stood up and screamed. Alice startled, much for my surprise and glared at Rosalie.

Everyone turned around and looked disapprovingly at Rose. Alice smiled apologetic. "Sorry. She's PMSing."

They sat down quickly. Rosalie was gnawing her nails and biting her lip anxiously. She looked everywhere around to see if people recognized her, but smiled contently when found no one.

"You actually did that?" Nessie whispered in awe. Edward nodded, smiling at her. Nessie blinked, stunned and a glare appeared on her face when she looked at Jake. "See? Why he can save her from a van and you always find a pathetic excuse for not buying me those boots?' she whisper-yelled at Jacob and he cowered in his seat, mouthing a 'sorry'.

"Go, Nessie." Emmett winked at her.

"You were so rude, Edward." Esme spoke for the first time, after Edward and Bella talked in the hospital.

"Was I supposed to tell her the truth?" Edward asked sarcastically.

"No, but that's not how you treat a woman." Esme raised her eyebrow at her son and I heard a slap behind me.

"Hear and learn, Jake. Hear and learn." Nessie whispered to him.

In the cafeteria, after Edward caught the apple

"Oh come on, be serious, Bella. Radioactive spiders and kryptonite? I'm failing to see the Superman in Edward." Emmett snickered and I glared at him. "You have seen a lot of cartoons when you were little."

I glared at him. "Oh so you figured it out." I said sarcastically. "Shut up, Emmett." I hissed, earning another snicker from him.

What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm the bad guy?

"Oh no shit Sherlock." Emmett mumbled again.

"Emmett." we growled under our breaths.

La Push, after Jacob and his friends came

"Here we were supposed to first meet. These guys need to get the things straight." Jake muttered. I rolled my eyes. "Look how handsome I am."

"Sure, honey." Nessie kissed his cheek and Edward squeezed my hand in an attempt to calm down.

"Hey, I remember telling you our legends. My dad almost killed me for that one." Jake scowled at the screen. That's how I found out everything about Edward. I will always be grateful to Jake for that.

"Thanks." I whispered to Jake and he nodded, smiling.

Victoria, James and Laurent with Waylon

A snarl erupted from Edward's chest and I stroked his cheek. His eyes locked with mine for a few moments, when Jacob's loudly chew started. I cursed him in my mind.

"Wow, dad, that was awesome." Nessie whispered to Edward, when his Volvo drifted on the pavement.

At Bella Italia

"God, how I hated that waitresses." I scowled.

"You know I love you, sweetheart." Edward kissed my hair, but I startled when Rose's scream – again – echoed in the huge hall.

"Nooooo. Edward, don't." she screamed and I turned to the screen to see it was the moment when Edward confessed he could read minds. I shook my head frustrated and Rosalie sat down, cowering in her seat. Carlisle glared at her and Emmett kissed her forehead soothingly.

"She figured it out." Alice whispered to herself, tapping her foot anxiously on the floor.

The forest

You're impossibly fast. And strong. Your skin is... pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change color. And sometimes you speak like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink any thing. You don't go into the sunlight.

"Please don't say it. Don't fucking say it." Rosalie prayed, biting her lip.

Vampire

"Crap." she hissed and glared at me and Edward. I scowled confused at her and mouthed a 'what'. I knew she was nervous about this, but it wasn't my fault.

Edward in the sunlight

"It looks better in reality." Jasper whispered. I nodded, staring at Edward's body. He caught me staring and a mischievous grin spread across his face.

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

What a stupid lamb.

What a sick, masochistic lion.

"I know." Jacob agreed and my and Edward's heads snapped in his direction, while the others laughed.

"You just made me stupid?" I growled.

"Apologize." Edward hissed and Jacob threw his hands into the air, popcorn falling around us. He nodded and sulked, giving Nessie the popcorn and crossing his arms at his chest.

When Carlisle bites Esme

"Thanks honey." Esme kissed Carlisle's cheek and he smiled adoringly at her.

"Indeed, dad. That was very romantic of you telling mom her blood was so appetizing." Nessie mumbled sarcastically and Edward chuckled, wrapping his arm around my waist.

After Edward invited Bella to go to meet his family. Jacob appears.

"Look at that smile." Jake smiled smugly and Emmett snorted.

"I would be glad to shatter those teeth dog." Emmett teased, smirking and Jacob rolled his eyes.

In the Cullen's kitchen

"Always beautiful." Carlisle whispered in Esme's ear and kissed her cheek.

"Oh God. I remember that day like it was yesterday." Jasper muttered to himself. Alice smiled at him and punched him playfully in the arm.

"Looks like the bitch had returned." Jake laughed, after Rosalie destroyed the bowl. Rose turned around to glare at him and even I cowered in my seat at its intensity.

"Oh my God, Rose. I love those shoes." Alice squealed. "Do you think you still have them?"

"Only Alice could ask about shoes." Edward shook his head amazed.

"Oh. Here I am." she chirped, as she appeared on the screen and hugged me in the movie. I giggled quietly.

"Why I always look so pained?" Jasper complained, furrowing his brow. Emmett laughed, earning again disapproving looks from the people around him. Rosalie smacked the back of his head.

"Don't draw the attention on us." she hissed angrily.

In Edward's room

"'No bed?' Gee, Bella. You sounded like a pervert." Emmett snickered. I glared at him, but didn't waste my time, explaining something to him.

"Your dancing skills suck, Bells." Jake chewed on his popcorn.

"Look who's talking." Nessie rolled her eyes at him.

Edward at the piano

"Isn't that my mom's lullaby?" Nessie raised her eyebrows. I nodded, confused. How did they find it? Where? Oh God, this is very weird. Edward scowled at the screen.

Edward and Bella kissing in her room

"Well, our first kiss was actually in the forest, but I guess it's good in my room too." I mused and turned around to stare into Edward's eyes. We smiled adoringly at each other.

"And that's how your parents procreated you, Nessie." Emmett chuckled. "Whoa, Bella, you're a beast in bed."

"Disgusting." Nessie whispered to herself and blushed crimson. She looked down quickly and blinked. "Tell me when it's over."

Jacob's hand froze in the popcorn and his eyes widened. "I'm marked for life. Oh no. That will be burnt in my memory forever." he shook his head. I laughed with Edward and I looked at the others. Esme was smiling maternally at us.

"That is so sweet." Alice sighed dreamily, grabbing Jasper's hand.

"I love you." I whispered in Edward's ear, ignoring the snort from my right.

He kissed my hair. "Love you too." he whispered too and my head rested on his chest, my arms encircling him.

When Edward met Charlie

"Charlie looked like he wanted to kill you." Jasper mumbled and I nodded, remembering his expression. I know. Glad Edward is immortal.

"Why the heck did you wear so many clothes, Edward? It didn't matter to you. You could have been in bikini and you could have felt better." Emmett furrowed his brow. Edward snorted.

"Appearances, Emmett." he explained.

Baseball

"You know, if 'looks can kill' would have been true, you were dead and buried, Bella." Jake raised his eyebrows at me and Nessie shuddered. I nodded and Rose smiled apologetic at me.

"Love you." Jasper whispered in Alice's ear, when she threw the ball in the movie. Alice giggled and kissed him quickly, returning to the screen.

Edward tensed and I scowled confused at him. "What happened?"

"The nomads." he hissed and I sighed. After the game, the nomads must appear.

"Have you seen that?" Emmett smiled smugly, after he climbed on the tree and grabbed the ball. "I bet you can't do that." he said to Jasper.

"Yep. Because I can do better." Jazz chuckled.

Emmett's eyes darkened. "Want to bet?"

"Bring it."

I rolled my eyes at them. Always acting like two kids. And now that Jake was part of the family, we had a kindergarten. I giggled to myself, ignoring Edward's questioningly look.

The nomads appear. James feels Bella's scent.

Edward hissed in my ear and I tightened my grip on him. Nessie gasped, when Edward literally threw me in the car and drove towards Charlie's house.

"Ugh. I hate James." Nessie bit her lip, wrapping her arms around Jake.

"Me too." Edward whispered, his jaw locking with a loud thud.

"But I'm here now, right?" I smiled reassuringly at him and he kissed my hair.

In the garage

"And there is the bitch again." Jake chuckled at Rosalie, earning another death glare from her. I giggled.

In Phoenix

"Thank you, Jasper, Alice." I smiled at them and Jasper winked. Alice bounced on her chair.

"His voice gives me goose bumps." Rose mumbled, leaning into Emmett.

"I can't believe you were so idiot to actually go, Bella. I thought you were smarter." Alice scolded me and I scowled at her.

"Hey." I protested.

In the ballet studio

Edward's breath accelerated as he saw me flew across the ballet studio. I winced, remembering the pain I had felt then. Nessie gasped again, burying her face onto Jacob's shoulder.

Nobody said anything during the fight. I kissed Edward, thanking him silently for saving me and touched my scar, after James bit me in the movie.

"And that's why I have this horrible mark." I mumbled to myself and everyone smiled apologetic at me. I rolled my eyes and waved them off. They shouldn't feel sorry. They had helped me a lot all these years.

"Wow." Nessie whispered after a couple of minutes. "I don't want to imagine how hard it was for you, dad. Or mom." she squeezed my hand and smiled at Edward.

"We survived." I teased and they laughed quietly.

"Actually you didn't. You're dead." Emmett raised his eyebrows. We laughed again, a little bit more loud this time. A girl shushed us.

In the hospital

"Oh please Edward. Couldn't you be more realistic? I mean, I can tell you're not actually sleeping." Jake mocked.

"Well, I can tell. And Renee believed it. So why don't you do me a favor and shut up?" I suggested and he smiled sarcastically at me.

In Bella's house

"It would have been hilarious to see you drink that water, Edward." Emmett laughed quietly.

"Right." Edward snorted.

"You looked sexy in that tuxedo." I smiled evilly at him. The same expression was on his face and kissed me, before we heart someone growl next to us.

"Please. We're in public." Nessie shook her head amazed.

At prom.

Jacob appears.

"Hey. Here's the handsome again." Jake smiled at the screen and all of us snarled. Nessie giggled. "What? I'm telling the truth."

"Well, you look better with short hair. Like now." Nessie smiled mischievously at Jake and Edward shuddered, glaring at both of them.

"Please. We're in public." he repeated.

"You were really trying to kill me." I said playfully.

"Yes." Jake answered instead of Edward. "I mean, dancing is like bungee jumping without rope for you, Bella." he shrugged, nonchalantly. I sighed.

"Awww, that is so sweet." Alice sighed dreamily, when Edward kissed me in the movie. I smiled excited and I saw with the corner of my eye, Nessie burying her face in Jake's chest.

"Yuck." Emmett shuddered. I glared at him. "It isn't about you, Bella. It's about kissing a... human."

"A human's neck." Jasper shuddered too. Alice snorted and winked at Edward.

Victoria appeared and I froze. Jacob muttered under his breath. "That bitch." And I couldn't agree more.

"Is it over? Already?" Nessie asked disappointed.

"Yes, honey. It's over." Jake whispered in her ear and kissed her. I quickly turned around. I didn't like staring at them when they would have... their private moments. And that pissed Edward off.

"We're in public." Edward said through his teeth.

Jake smiled smugly and Alice sighed from her seat. Here goes again.

"Stop that thought, mongrel."

"His name is Jake, dad."

"And what if I don't?" Jake's smile grew and Edward fumed. Suddenly, he stood up, glaring at Jacob. The lights in the theatre were on and he didn't have the sunglasses anymore. I froze, realizing what that meant. Alice laughed.

"Edward? Girls, it's EDWARD." a girl screamed at the top of her lungs and everyone in the theatre turned to us. Oh no, oh God no.

That's it. Hope you liked it.