Viva Jedi Vegas
By, malicious bunnie
Disclaimer: Don't hurt me Mr. Lucas!
Star Wars, Yoda, Obi-Wan-Kenobi, and Anakin Skywalker ÓGeorge Lucas, Lucasflim
"Viva Las Vegas" Ó Elvis Presley, I suppose.
Summary: Obi-wan, Anakin, and Yoda take a break from training to visit Las Vegas. But the "city of sin" might be what leads Anakin to the dark side in ways you will have never thought of!
***
We find our Star Wars characters, in a Naboo cruiser hovering above the glow of the lights of Las Vegas, the neon sin city that never sleeps. Anakin is at the controls, trying to find a good place to land, Obi-wan is naturally, pestering Yoda about the "mission" at hand.
"Viva Las Vegas! Viva Las Vegas!" Yoda sung as he looked out of the Naboo Cruiser's window to the city down below.
"Master Yoda, are you sure we should be doing this?" an apprehensive Obi-wan asked.
"Shut your mouth, you will! Credits to buy a hook-- er, martini, I need!" the green gremlin thing poked at Obi-wan with his stick. "Kee kee kee!" he grinned evilly.
***
"Permission to land a Naboo Cruiser AP-9081 on Landing Pad #34 of the Caesar's Palace Hotel and Casino?" Anakin reported to ground control.
*STATIC* "Permission granted good buddy." the idiot replied back.
"Yah, good buddy my ass. I'll 'good buddy' you..." Anakin retorted while bringing the ship down onto the landing pad.
"Let me out, you will!" Yoda jammed his walking stick at the ramp which hadn't been let down yet. Obi-wan strutted over to the intercom and switched it on: "Ani, please open the ramp door so Master Yoda can get out." he said irritated.
"Why doesn't he let himself out?" Anakin replied back. Obi-wan grimaced, he had been getting that from his Padawan a lot lately.. such anger and hatred. He really needed to have a talk with that boy, but that could wait until they got back to Coruscant.
"Just open the ramp." Obi-wan replied back and heard the door open. He turned back around and Master Yoda was gone.
"Oh, Force!" Obi-wan said, not because the little green bastard was gone, but because the little green bastard had stolen all his credits.
Later that evening....
Obi-wan and Anakin were out roaming the strip. They looked rather out of place in their Jedi Robes, but they didn't mind the stares much. The two had gotten themselves settled in their hotel room a few hours earlier. That is, after they had dragged Master Yoda's junk off the ship and into the room.
"I don't know what's so great about this place," Anakin said bored, "Palpatine warned me about coming here, I knew I shouldn't have come."
"Since when do you care what Palpatine says?" Obi-wan asked sounding rather annoyed with his Padawan always talking about the crinkly old man.
"Nevermind, let's get something to eat," Anakin said.
"Fine." Obi-wan said and headed for the nearest ICD (Intergalactic Credit Dispenser) since that hairy green midget had stolen all his credits. After getting some credits the two Jedi's headed into the Excalibur Hotel and Casino, because Ani had heard there were lots of "Knights" there. When they entered they didn't understand why they couldn't find any other Jedi.
"Anakin! Son of a sith!" Obi-wan said, suddenly realizing the mistake the Padawan had made. "This is a medieval themed hotel! It has to deal with some type of very old chivalry held billions and billions of years ago on this planet. Where "knights" fought in tin suits with very un-advanced weapons."
Anakin merely crossed his arms and pouted like a cross child and followed Obi-wan to the buffet line which was ten miles long. Anakin wept as they stood in line and grabbed at his stomach as if he would die right then and there from hunger. They slowly moved up in line and Obi-wan tried to ignore Anakin's constant complaints.
"Smoking or Non?" A Gungan (at least it's not Jar Jar) waitress said in a very bad New York accent.
"Non please," Obi-wan replied and they were guided to their seats and they both sat down.
"Now what?" asked Anakin as he looked around and Obi-wan shrugged. The two clueless Jedi sat around for about fifteen minutes not knowing what to do. Everyone around them seemed to be getting food, but they were constantly getting up and down, up and down, but were returning with plates of all types of food.
"Hmmm... the people, are getting up and returning with food," Obi-wan slowly said and ran his fingers over his chin a la Mace Windu in Episode I. "Perhaps... we should follow suit."
Anakin rolled his eyes. "Nice thinkin' genius." The young Padawan got up and strolled behind some people, and then entered the actual "buffet".
"Sweeeeet." Anakin rubbed his hands together as he saw the plentiful amounts of food and grabbed two plates and began loading his plates with all sorts of meats, vegetables, and fruits.
After the Jedi finished eating they walked out of the buffet and Obi-wan walked over to a sign posted near the gaming area and smiled inwardly.
"This sign says no minors allowed Ani. Over 21 only," Obi-wan said, "Guess that means you can't go gambling."
"And you are?!" Anakin said accusingly at his Master.
"Oh Ani..." Obi-wan searched his mind for a practical reason, couldn't find one and left in a flash of robes, ducking into the crowds, leaving the young Padawan alone. Anakin blinked a few times realizing his Master was gone.
"Sith spit!" Anakin turned around in a flurry of robes and made his way to the nearest exit.
***
Anakin found himself in a casino called "Treasure Island". He had followed Master Yoda's presence to this casino and was off to whine to him and complain about Obi-wan leaving him. And then, he found the great Jedi Master...
"Oo! Hoo! Come to Jedi Master Poppa, you will!" Yoda was playing craps, with a few women hanging around him.. trashy looking women to be exact.
"You whores, come with me you shall! Get it on with the Jedi Master, want it, you do!" The women laughed and patted Yoda's ears. He then took his winnings and began waddling away with his women following him.
"Master Yoda!" Anakin waved at him, the Master noticed the young Padawan and waddled over to him.
"You have come, I know why. Obi-wan Kenobi, he dis-pleases you, does he?" Yoda laughed and stuck his finger at Anakin. "Whine too much, you do... ke ke ke, shove it, you will!" Yoda began waddling off laughing obviously in-toxicated beyond belief.
"Hey!" Anakin said angrily and Yoda turned around.
"Yo Daddy, I am! Ke ke ke! Cause to yo Mama, I did this!" And Yoda began making humping motions on his walking stick. "Dirty little slut, she was." Yoda laughed heartily and then took a woman in each arm and waddled off.
Anakin growled and clenched his fists, trying to keep what he knew was the dark side from flaring up in him. He knew Yoda didn't mean it, he was drunk, of course. But what about those women? And what about Obi-wan? Obi-wan just left him, to go play those damned slots, and probably find some women just as Yoda had done. The two Jedi's, besides Qui-Gon, he had most looked up to were now just mindless, sex-crazed, boozing, gambling nut-jobs. What had happened? Anakin tried to calm his emotions when he felt a big slap on his back that sent him flying to the casino floor.
"Ya littllllee whimp.." came a slurred voice from behind him, and Anakin looked up into the eyes of his once friendly, father-type figure and Master.
"Maybe Palpatine is right after all...." Anakin thought.
That's it! ^_^;; I'm sorry! I didn't mean for Obi-wan to turn into a such a gruesome guy (I meant for Yoda to be that way though..), it just sort of happened! A little strange.. okay, I'm sorry, it's my first Star Wars fic! Be gentle. *whimpers*
-malicious bunnie