Envious

Adjective: Feeling or exhibiting envy; desire of excellence or good fortune of another; a feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something that is possessed by another.

"Jealousy differs from envy in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy refers to something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from acquiring."- Wikipedia

This is still me, "Fenrir of the Eclipsing Shadow", just got a User Name change.

~***~
There was a girl often sitting alone at the park.

She had short brown hair and eyes to match, glasses often slipping down her nose. She had her thin, delicate hands wrapped around a sewing needle and thread. She had what had started out as a pile of black linen, two eyes, and white thread. Her brow was furrowed as she worked, deep in thought, her fingers expertly catching the needle and pulling it through.

Little did she know, sitting "alone" in the park, at her picnic table under the tree that someone was watching.

The watcher continued to look at the girl, as the black linen was slowly but surely transformed into a small stuffed animal. The girl's eyes lit up, sensing she was nearing her goal, her fingers occasionally pausing to stroke the black fur.

It had to be right. Each careful movement clearly said. There was a soft, loving smile on her face as she began putting in the eyes, lightly twiddling with the ears on her little creation.

The first thing she had ever crafted and it had come out right. It was so easy to read her expression that the watcher knew she was thinking that even though the girl hadn't said a single word. She had a bright smile on her features, bouncing her little creation in her hands, which caused its tail to move limply, as the head lolled to the side.

It is obviously a cat, the watcher thought. She decided to approach the girl.

She stood up from her place on the bench, approaching the girl with a soft smile as she gently placed her cat down, touching its little face.

"I can't believe you made something like that!" She said, offering the girl a smile, waving her hand to emphasize her point.

The girl jumped, hugging her cat to her chest, turning her eyes over to the watcher. There was a short pause, as the girl apparently processed the watcher's clothes, (in with the trends, as was her wont.) She smiled, coiling her fingers around her cat.

"You saw, huh?" Her eyes sparked with just the faintest trace of pride, so fragile that the watcher thought it could fragment into a million different pieces with just one wrong word, where they would vanish somewhere in her heart, never to be seen again, like the soft fluffy seeds on a dandelion as they drifted away…

I have to be careful with her, the watcher told herself. She smiled, giggling a little.

"Yeah, sorry for sort of watching you, but I was curious to see what you were making. It just completely caught my attention; you had a really concentrated look on your face. Do you make these all the time? I absolutely adore that cat!"

The girl smiled wider, holding her creation at arm's length. "This is my first creation, the first thing I ever made."

"Impressive! Did you take any classes?" The watcher chirped, clapping her hands in an energetic, school girl way.

"Not really. I had a few from my grandmother…" She paled, as if she had said the wrong thing, her brown eyes tingeing with regret, quickly shattering the glint of pride that had been there just a moment ago.

Sitting down beside the girl quickly, the watcher laughed, causing the girl to cringe visibly, dipping her head down.

"Hey, don't be upset! Taking lessons from your grandmother isn't anything to be all ashamed over! At least, I don't mind. My name is Eri, what about you?" She asked, giving the girl her warmest smile. She wasn't sure what it was, but she felt…drawn to this shy girl clutching the cat to her chest.

She relaxed, just barely, her shoulders not so hunched. "I'm Shiki."

"Hey, what's up?" She giggled a little again, and then said, "Can I see your cat?"

Shiki hesitated, and then passed over her precious plush. Eri took it gently, turning it over in her hands.

"This is really good for your first work, but why work outside?" She asked, studying the perfect stitching that coated the false feline.

"Just wanted some fresh air, and to get out of the house…" She nervously twirled her finger around a strand of her brown hair, biting her lip, as if she feared a rebuff.

Maybe she has at home problems. Eri mused.

"No biggie. What's his name?" She tickled the cat's chest before handing it back to its owner.

"Um…" She blushed, staring at the table, as if the old wood has suddenly turned into a very interesting and intricate mural. "Mr. Mew."

Eri squealed, which caused Shiki to jump.

"That's adorable. That's so awesome how you make things like this. I can make things too, I guess, in a different sort of way." She pulled off her backpack, slender fingers pulling back the zipper to reveal the darkened contents of her satchel. "Would you like to see?" She added as an afterthought, not wanting to bore the girl.

Shiki bobbed her head up and down, smiling nervously.

Removing a thick sketchbook, Eri placed it on the table, flipping through the pages until she came across a good design.

"I like to design clothes. See? I thought if you could arrange the colors like that, around the sleeves," She pointed to the sketch of a dark blue jacket. "It gave the impression of a night sky. Look at the darker colors here, doesn't that just scream, 'night' and 'stars'? The stars can be the zippers right there, see? Not only does that cover the obvious need for pockets, but it adds a nice, tasteful-"She covered her mouth, laughing to herself. "Sorry, fashion just really excites me and I can go on and on."

"You're right, actually." Shiki said unexpectedly. "Right there, the bright white zippers really stand out around the darker edges there, it really does remind you of the night sky. This could easily be a trendy design here in Shibuya." For a moment, it was like the shyness had melted off, and Eri caught a glance of a very energetic, passionate girl. Then the shell was back, and she retreated inside, pulling her finger off the design that she had been tapping.

"S-sorry!" She whimpered.

Eri shook her head. "No big deal, you sound like you know a lot about fashion!"

She shrugged. "Yeah, I like to keep up with the trends. Just a little, though…But…" She hesitated again, hugging her plush for comfort. "I think I can…um…make the design for you." She added the last part hurriedly, tugging at her shirt collar.

Eri studied the jacket, then the plush. Hey, why not? She was a bad seamstress herself, and if Mr. Mew was anything to go by, Shiki was a very good one in comparison.

"I'd be honored, actually." She laughed, resting her chin on her hand thoughtfully. She carefully removed the sketch from her book, folding it crisply and handing it to the stunned Shiki. "Here, take it home and work on it whenever you feel like it. No rush or anything, alright? When you're done, swing by my place whenever. Here…" She removed a pencil that had been trapped in the spiral rings of her notebook, writing down her street, address number, and cell phone digits. "And call me whenever you want, okay?" She smiled, handing the information over, then stood up, gathering her things.

"I've got to get home now; it was really nice meeting you, Shiki! I think we can be best friends." Eri slung her bag over her shoulder, waved cheerily to the stunned girl, then headed for home.

She could just pick out Shiki's voice from among the others in Shibuya.

"Y-yeah! Bye, Eri!"

~***~

Even as she headed home, Mr. Mew tucked securely in her bag, fuzzy black head poking out as if to survey the world, Shiki couldn't believe her luck.

She had seen that girl before, walking at school with a large cluster of friends around her, laughing and joking as everyone chorused "oh" and "aw" as the fabulous, fashionably flawless, impossibly perfect, Straight-A Eri walked by. Every boy in school practically, had a crush on her. Every boy at school asked her for a date, every boy hit on her. Every girl was insanely jealous of her; every girl wished they were Extraordinary Eri.

And, of course, Shiki was no exception. She was literally Eri's secret admirer, watching her from afar, feeling wistful and a little sad that she wasn't like that. Or anywhere close.

She didn't really have friends, didn't really have enemies. She just sat alone, and the fact that Eri just now noticed her after two weeks of school, (and the fact they were even in some of the same classes, though she sat in the back), only proved the point that she wasn't really memorable.

Unlike Eri.

Now, maybe it would all change. Eri herself had given her not only her phone number, but her street address as well. That info alone was enough to get tons of yen from the boys at school, (like she was going to sell it).

She added Eri's phone number, and then studied the design as she walked home. It had to be perfect; she wanted to make a positive impression on Eri, after all.

Perfection…like Eri.

~***~
Saturday morning came and went, and as the day advanced into the afternoon, Eri was surprised when she heard the bright peal of the doorbell over her music. She headed downstairs, skipping off the steps, pausing to pat the delicate muzzle of the small replica of Hachiko on her way to get the door. She opened it, blowing a gum bubble and letting it pop before she smiled hugely.

"Shiki! What a pleasure to see you!"

"Hi, Eri." She had a brown paper bag in her arms, and Eri recognized Mr. Mew's head, which poked out from her purse, which was slung hurriedly over her shoulder.

"Finished with the design?" She said cheerily, stepping aside and letting her inside her home. Shiki came in with a sort of dazed expression, then smiled, and nodded.

"Up to my room, 'K?" Eri turned and headed up the stairs, listening to Shiki's quieter footsteps on the worn wooden floor. Opening the door to her room, she flopped down on her pink beanbag, gesturing around.

"What's mine is yours, except for the lava lamp." She said this in a teasing tone, and was relieved when Shiki didn't take her seriously and laughed a little. She sat there across from her, placing the bag in front of her.

"Well, this isn't the best, but I worked my best on it." Shiki explained, pulling out the jacket and handing it to Eri.

Eri took it, and gaped.

It was somehow even better than she had drawn it. The material were soft but sturdy, dark blue but lightening around the edges, turning into a sort of cyan color that was just barely tinged with a faint black. The zippers were the exact size that she had drawn, but the pockets were bigger than she had intended, but so well hidden that she actually decided this was better. The zippers even had a star shaped pendant, each of the five zipper stars were inlaid with a small, different colored gemstone that glimmered in the light. Fake gems or not, they were still very pretty and fashionable.

Taking her silence as a bad thing, or so Eri guessed, Shiki panicked.

"I mean, I can try again if you want!" She quickly removed the design Eri had given her, and placed the paper on the ground. "Or I can j-just leave, okay?!"

"What? No!" Eri giggled. "Calm down. This is perfect, even better than I imagined, Shiki! You're so talented in stuff like this, I can't believe it!" She grabbed Shiki in a one armed hug. "Thanks a ton, Shiki!"

"I-I…you're welcome." She sounded delighted, and Eri released the hug, pleasantly surprised to see a smile devoid of nervousness on her face, the shine in her eyes a welcome change from the darker, scared look that usually settled in her gaze.

"Would you mind making any more?"

"I always wanted to create clothes." Shiki admitted.

"And I always wanted to design them!" Eri exclaimed.

She clasped her hands in front of her chest. "I've got an idea! Let's make clothes together, Shiki! We'll be the best of friends!" She reached over and turned on the radio, where it immediately broke into the song "Twister", the techno beat blasting through her room.

"What do you say?" Eri asked. Shiki nodded excitedly.

"We can be friends?" She mouthed, staring to the side, her voice drowned out by the music.

Eri leaned forward, patting her new friend's hand affectionately. "Of course, Shiki. I'd love to be your friend. We can come over and talk, not just design clothes. You like fashions too, huh? What's your favorite brand?" She said to lighten the mood.

"What-whatever's in fashion?" Shiki said with a smile.

"Perfect answer, am I right?" Eri laughed.

She had a feeling this was the start of a beautiful friendship between the two of them, but she couldn't quite figure out that strange look in Shiki's eyes as she moved her gaze around the room, and that look only intensified whenever the girl studied her.

Like…some sort of glint, but maybe that was just the golden edges to her brown eyes.

~***~

From that point on, Shiki came over twice a week to talk to Eri about fashion, and to show her the clothes she had made from her designs.

These visits soon changed from twice a week, to four times a week, to daily, where the friends laughed and joked, having fun as they studied the latest fashions. Eri's work only got better, and Shiki's sewing skills improved. Eri went to school, dragging a nervous Shiki with her everywhere, telling her friends how the glasses wearing girl had created the clothes she wore.

Shiki soon got girls and boys alike asking her to create for them, but she only made clothes for Eri. Didn't they see? Eri was the real winner, she designed the clothes, and she just took them off the page.

Eri, however, was glad beyond all measure as Shiki slowly opened up, revealing herself to be fun loving and a little mischievous, never once putting down her precious stuffed cat that she said brought her good luck. She also seemed to want to help everyone she met; stunning Eri with the fact she was so caring and compassionate. Her house was full of stray cats she liked to take care of before releasing them. Whenever Eri caught any kids mocking her over anything, she threatened to destroy their social standing with a few well placed rumors, and the teasing soon stopped.

Eri felt like she had known Shiki forever, telling her every secret, confiding in her friend the things that scared her, the things that thrilled her and what ticked her off. In turn, she listened when Shiki needed anything, gave advice, and let her friend have a shoulder to cry on whenever she needed.

However…the glint in Shiki's eyes just intensified, whenever she came to her house it just got wider, and sometimes her eyes narrowed and she would just sigh as the girls talked to Eri and usually ignored her shyer friend.

Eri saw the glint, and had no idea what to make of it.

One day, Shiki came over to Eri's house and fidgeted in her seat on the beanbag.

"What's up?" Eri asked, lying on her stomach as she surveyed the newest fashions from the issue they had ordered from Divine Designs. "Did the Prince do anything new on his blog? What did he F this time?"

"Nothing…But…I made a design…" Shiki mumbled.

"Oh?" Eri lifted her eyes, smiling, pushing a strand of her pink hair out of her eyes. "Can I see?"

Shiki handed it to her friend, who took it and studied it.

Eri traced her fingers across the design, a furrow appearing on her forehead, eyes just slightly narrowed. She tapped the center, shaking her head slightly. The colors worked, but just the way the shorts were designed, and the zipper, would be uncomfortable to wear…

She took a pencil from behind her ear, scratching out several things, and then sighed. It wouldn't work; it would have to be altered completely…

When she looked up, Shiki looked mortified, biting her lip so hard it looked like she was going to make it bleed, eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Sorry, Shiki…" She gave a warm, sincere smile, gently taking her friend's hand, squeezing it softly. "But I don't think you were meant to be a designer." Eri meant it in a good way, Shiki was an excellent seamstress, and if she just had a little more practice her designs would be decent too.

There it went. The glow in her eyes vanished, retreating back into the darker depths. Silver tears completely obscured her eyes, and Eri could almost hear and see her fragile self-esteem shatter into millions of tiny pieces.

And she felt HORRIBLE.

Before she could say anything else, before she could correct her mistake, Shiki gathered her things and mumbled something about getting home. She headed down the stairs, almost running.

Eri got to her feet, heading out after her friend.

"Shiki, wait!" She shouted, dashing outside her house, but her friend didn't hear. Shiki was running faster however, and even though Eri chased after her as fast as she could, her friend remained just ahead of her.

Suddenly…

Shiki stumbled, dropping her precious feline. She fell on her stomach, her cat landed in the street. She jumped back up, glasses lopsided, and ran into the street to snatch it off the road. For a moment a relieved smile touched her features, then-

SCREECH!

Eri screamed at the top of her lungs, hands close to her chest, tears blocking her vision as the dark car slammed into her friend. A sickening crunch filled the air, people shouted and screamed, but the car kept going, swerving as if it was drunk and not its driver. Eri ran over, feeling ill at the sight of the blood spilling out from around her friend. The world spun around her, but she forced herself to stand upright.

Cars came to a halt as Eri stepped out into the street, bending down beside her friend. Mr. Mew was still clutched to her chest, but her glasses were broken into sharp, clear shards, her eyes were frozen over, the light reflecting harshly off them. Eri screamed for her friend to wake up, but she didn't stir. She threw herself on her friend, sobbing, and she just faintly heard her heart beat.

Thump…thump…

Then, no more. Eri lifted her head, and noticed in death that Shiki's eyes were finally devoid of that strange, harsh gold glint in her brown eyes.

She'd rather have it back.

"Why…this is my fault. Why didn't I say it differently…?"

The witnesses say that was all Eri would reply when they asked her about her friend, she just repeated it in a dead tone, almost as dead as her friend on the road.

Shibuya lost one of its greatest seamstresses that day, but Eri lost something more. She lost her best friend.

~***~

Shiki was only vaguely aware of her surroundings, gasping hard, laying on the street. She rolled over; fingers still closed securely around Mr. Mew, cracking open her eyes to stare around.

People traveled around her, but not one person stopped to ask if she was okay. In fact, they walked through her, but she was too tired to notice. She stood up shakily, stumbling, only to lean against a shop window. She lifted her head, and froze.

Staring back at her through the mirror in the clothes shop window was Eri. She smiled sadly at her friend, and her friend just smiled back.

Nothing was said between them, and Shiki frowned. Eri did too.

"What?" She mouthed, and so did she…

She lifted an arm, so did Eri.

"Oh my God." She whispered.

She turned around in the mirror, a helpless smile on her face. A giddy feeling filled her. She lifted Mr. Mew, who appeared in the mirror now that he wasn't below it, holding him close.

She didn't know where she was, but she wasn't Shiki anymore. No more plain, ordinary, shy Shiki. It was like she had been reborn.

She was Eri. She laughed, clenching her hands in front of her chest.

"Welcome." A voice said behind her. Shiki whirled around to see a man with dark shades and clothes smiling at her.

~***~
A little story I decided to write, for the heck of it. Reviews are nice; they make my world go 'round. I'm not sure how Shiki was before, though.