Title: Three Ways To Need You, Part 1
Author: aolurker
Disclaimer: I do not own SVU or these characters (darn it!) nor am I making any money off them (darn it!). No infringement intended.
Fandom: Law and Order: SVU
Pairing: Alex/Olivia
Rating: M
Summary: Need manifests in the physical, but has its basis in the emotional. The first in a series of three unrelated vignettes.
Notes: For mature audiences only!

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Three Ways To Need You, Part 1

Olivia had guided her to the bedroom slowly, hands ever busy, deftly untucking, unbuttoning, and unzipping various pieces of Alex's clothing along the way as her lips rarely left the skin of Alex's face, neck, and jaw. Upon arrival in the bedroom, Olivia finished the job of shedding Alex of her garments then, with a strength that always gave Alex a little jolt, grasped Alex behind her shoulders and knees, lifting her off the floor in order to gently deposit her on their bed.

Olivia joined her there, almost; sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Alex. With one hand bracing herself on the mattress beside Alex's opposite hip so she was leaning over the attorney, Olivia slowly, so slowly, ran her other hand down the middle of Alex's chest starting at her throat, down between her breasts, and to her stomach, eyes following her hand, and finishing with a finger swirling in the light colored hair at the apex of Alex's legs.

This wasn't the first time Alex found herself in this position: naked on top of the covers while Olivia was still fully dressed. For, Olivia liked undressing her; Olivia liked her naked. And Alex liked giving Olivia what Olivia liked, as evidenced by Alex's hardened nipples and the wetness and ache she felt gathering between her legs. And usually when in this situation, Olivia was the picture of confidence; self-assured and totally in control. Usually.

But as Olivia sat on the edge of the bed, hand and eyes roaming, Alex sensed some hesitancy in the brunette. Saw something in the look on her face that bordered on awe; saw something in those dark eyes that spoke of uncertainty.

After momentarily allowing her fingers to play in Alex's curls, Olivia reversed the course of her hand, bringing it slowly back up, spreading her fingers over Alex's stomach, up further, flattening her palm over one breast then moving to the other, gripping the flesh gently, squeezing it softly, her touch both possessive and reverent, before curling her fingers under Alex's chin and releasing them to brush over Alex's lips.

"Incredible," the word escaped Olivia's lips on a breath, barely a whisper, almost a whimper. Alex saw her detective swallow hard then bring her gaze back up to Alex's, the blonde's face framed so beautifully by her hair fanning out over the pillow below her head. Olivia repeated herself only marginally louder, "You are so incredible." She shook her head slightly as if she couldn't believe that she could be in the presence of such beauty, "I'm so lucky," Olivia's heart ached, her chest tightened as her gaze drifted back down to Alex's lips, "So lucky," she whispered again. "I love you so much."

Eyes bright with moisture now, Olivia shifted her gaze away from Alex to some undetermined and insignificant location on the mattress or perhaps even the floor, and Alex could tell the normally so confident detective was searching for words, or for perhaps the strength to say them. When she did speak it was again barely audible, "Am I..." she trailed off, paused, tried again. "Do you..." She trailed off again.

Alex fought to keep her own tears at bay. Just as Olivia's strength -- emotional, sexual, physical, mental -- touched her in ways no other person had, Olivia's streak of insecurity and rare display of vulnerability endeared Olivia to her in ways no other person had, as well. She didn't always know what would trigger this vulnerability to come to the surface, but when it did, Alex both treasured it and wanted to sooth it away.

So Alex sat up, Olivia's hands falling off of her as the brunette quickly readjusted herself to the blonde's unexpected movement so that they were comfortably facing each other. Alex took Olivia's face in her hands and spoke quietly but unequivocally, giving voice to the questions Olivia tried but couldn't bring herself to ask, "Are you everything to me?", Olivia's breath caught. Alex continued, "Are you the first and last person I want to see every day? Do I love the way you look at me? Do I love how you make me feel?" Alex paused before asking her last question, "Do I love you?"

As Alex spoke she stared deeply into Olivia's eyes, seeing in them these very questions reflected back, seeing in them the need to be reassured, the need to hear Alex say it. And Alex didn't hesitate to give Olivia that reassurance, "The answer, Olivia, to all those questions, is 'yes'."

Olivia just stared at Alex, amazed how this woman always knew what to say, knew what she wanted to hear, what she needed to hear. Bringing a hand up to cup behind Alex's neck, Olivia brought the blonde's lips to her own. The kiss was deep and sensual and full of promise and emotion, lips gliding over each other, tongues slowly sparring. Olivia lowered their bodies back to the mattress as she continued the kiss for long moments. Finally pulling back, with Alex laying on the mattress, Olivia hovered above her, staring down at her for several seconds, her breathing coming in shorter bursts, her eyes dancing.

Then without explanation, Olivia reached over from her leaning position to the night stand beside the bed. When she opened the top drawer, Alex didn't need an explanation; she knew exactly what Olivia was going for and her heart skipped a beat, a beat that she felt in her pussy instead. Alex watched as, having retrieved what she wanted, Olivia lifted herself back up to a seated position above Alex.

Alex inhaled sharply and her nipples tightening further as Olivia began to repeat what she'd done earlier, when this all started, drawing a line down the middle of Alex's chest and stomach. Only this time it wasn't Olivia's finger drawing the line but rather the toy she'd just gotten from the nightstand, the hard silicon cold on Alex's soft, heated skin.

The line Olivia drew was again leisurely and slow, giving her time to glance back up at Alex and giving time for Alex's anticipation to grow; knowing that while Olivia's fingers had stopped short of their ultimate goal, the slender toy would not. Alex squirmed on the bed in expectation, tilting her pelvis up in unconscious request.

And Olivia did not disappoint. After reaching the apex of Alex's legs Olivia briefly slid the shaft around Alex's wet pussy, lubricating it and warming it before finding Alex's opening. Olivia's eyes then raised and met Alex's once again and while holding that gaze, Olivia slid the toy home in one smooth, long, slow motion, and held it there. Alex moaned when it hit her cervix, the toy fully embedded, Alex completely filled. Olivia gave it one further small push into Alex's body, turning Alex's moan into a quiet gasp as the attorney arched her back slightly and lost the battle to keep her eyes open. Olivia stilled then and waited. When Alex reopened her eyes, Olivia stared at her intensely for several long seconds before finally responding to Alex's words, "Show me."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Alex, whose brain had slowly shut down in favor of sensation and expectation at Olivia's actions in the intervening minutes since she'd spoken, wasn't exactly sure what Olivia was talking about and she knew a fleeting look of confusion passed over her face. Off of that look and in answer to Alex's unspoken question, Olivia let go of the object imbedded in Alex's body to reach out and grab the blonde's hand, bringing that hand over to replace where Olivia's had just been, setting Alex's fingers on the end of the toy. Olivia then scooted back towards the end of the bed, eyes darting between Alex's legs and the toy buried there and Alex's face which now carried a stunned, and perhaps a slightly frightened, rather than confused look.

For Alex now understood exactly what Olivia was talking about and exactly what Olivia wanted. She wanted to watch. She wanted Alex to masturbate herself with that toy and she wanted to watch.

Alex's breath caught and she held it for just a second before releasing it and taking several panting breaths, her heart rate skyrocketing. God. Oh god. Oh my god. She didn't know if she could do this. Olivia had hinted at this once before but that previous time Alex had cagily resisted -- not outright saying no, but unable to overcome her own embarrassment, had simply taken the moment in different direction. Sensing Alex's hesitance then, Olivia hadn't pushed it at the time and she hadn't asked again. Until now.

Added to that, Alex didn't know precisely why Olivia wanted her to do this; was it to show Olivia just how far she'd go for the detective? Was it just something that Olivia had always wanted from Alex but hadn't been able or willing to push for it until now, until this vulnerability in her brought the need for it to the forefront? Was it something else?

But, Alex reasoned internally, it really didn't matter. All that mattered was that this is what Olivia was asking of her right now and clearly what Olivia wanted of her right now.

And while she wanted to give Olivia whatever it was she wanted, she still wasn't sure if she could do this. Put on a show, touch herself and bring herself pleasure. Of course she'd done it before, but alone, always alone, never for an audience and, and... it was embarrassing! Yeah, it was only an audience of one, only Olivia, but...but... that's still an audience and... god, she wasn't sure if she could do this.

Olivia watched all of this play over Alex's face and it was her turn to reassure. She reached out and rubbed Alex's lower leg, up and down and up and down, her eyes meeting and holding Alex's increasingly panicked gaze with her own pleading one. "Show me," she repeated on a whisper, "Please."

Alex looked into that loving, understanding, vulnerable, dark, needy gaze for a moment longer and knew what her decision had to be. She took a deep breath. She could do this. For Olivia she could do this.

Alex felt her face flush at her decision and knew that her whole body was blushing. But she could also feel her sex flush at her decision, an unexpected excitement rocketing through her body, causing a shutter to rattle through her.

Still holding Olivia's gaze with her own, she very slowly pulled the toy from her body and held it there, the tip just barely remaining within her. She could do this. Then slowly, oh so slowly, gradually, one inch at a time, pushed the toy back in. And as she did, her eyes glazed over and a quiet gasp escaped her. She could do this.

Olivia eyes flashed and her nostrils flared at Alex's action, at her silent but clear answer to Olivia's request. With a final light squeeze to Alex's lower leg, a final piece of encouragement, a sign of gratitude, Olivia pulled back all contact with Alex's body and her eyes finally lowered back to Alex's sex and the actions of Alex's own hands on it.

Seeing Olivia's attention drawn away from her face, Alex let her eyes slide shut and tried to block out the continued embarrassment and focus her concentration, instead, on making herself feel good, knowing that that would make Olivia feel good. She tried to imagine what Olivia would want to see and hoped she could bring herself to do whatever that was.

She started by repeating her earlier movement; slowly extracting the toy from her body and pushing it back in. And again. This time with a little more speed, and then more speed. In. Out. Sometimes pulling it almost all the way out before re-inserting it. The silicon gliding over flesh moistened and made slick by Alex's arousal. Sometimes twisting it as she pushed it back into her body. The nerve endings beginning to burn and ache with the desire for more. Sometimes giving it a little extra shove when it was fully imbedded, causing her body to jump slightly in response and a small sound to escape her throat.

During this time, she'd brought her free hand up. At first she used it to just lightly brush her fingers over the skin of her stomach, raising goosebumps over her skin and eliciting a small shiver. Then her hand drew further upwards, fingers tracing up between her breasts, then closed fully over a breast, massaging the flesh, gripping it. Finally, allowing her fingers to close over a nipple and with just a little pressure, pull twist and otherwise tweak it, thoughts of embarrassment fading as she lost herself to her body's increasing physical response and desire.

Olivia looked on with rapt attention, watching her lover love herself. Alex's entire body was getting into it. Her toes, painted Alex's favorite red, curled and arched. Her knees bent and straightened, giving Olivia different glimpses, different views. Both hands moved separately over her body, hips rocking and twisting, setting up a counter rhythm to one hand and chest and shoulders moving in counterpoint to her other. Her head tipped back and turned to the side, her mouth opening and closing, small incredibly endearing and arousing and aroused sounds coming out of it. It was a sight to behold.

Alex continued to pleasure herself in this fashion for minutes on end, sometimes quickening the pace, sometimes slowing down, playing her body and its responses, toying with it, pleasuring it. The only sounds in the room the noises from her throat, the quietly rustling of the sheets as her body moved atop of them, and Olivia's increasing breathing.

Finally, when Alex felt she'd held out long enough, when she was ready, her clit screaming for attention at this point, she reversed the course of the hand that had been playing with her breasts, tracing that line back down her chest, back down over the skin of her stomach and played briefly with the hair at her apex, her ass clenching and unclenching of its own accord, muscles readying for the next level of pleasure.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Before delving in, however, she chanced opening her eyes. Part of her was afraid that the reality of what she was doing would hit hard and she'd stop short if she opened them, but she had to. And when she did, quite the opposite occurred. For she opened them to see her detective, her cop, her friend, her lover, completely enraptured. Her mouth hung slightly open, her pupils large, so large, eyes almost completely black. She was entirely, utterly enthralled with Alex and the show she was putting on and so completely and utterly turned on by it.

Alex was giving her everything she could possibly have wanted and god it was so beautiful on so many different levels.

When Alex's hand didn't proceed any further from the curls covering her sex and when her other hand also stopped its movement, Olivia instinctively knew to look up, to meet her lover's eyes.

They stared at each other silently for several seconds, no smiles, no grimaces, no words. Just seeing each other, truly seeing each other. And that was more than enough.

Alex's hands started to move again, the movement of the toy started up, Alex setting up a slower but still steady rhythm. And her other hand dipped lower. Her eyes fluttered closed again as her fingers found her copious wetness. She dipped down to where the toy disappeared within her to gather some extra moisture and lubrication.

Then bringing her fingers back up, she brushed them over her clit, causing a moan of arousal to be released from her chest and her ass to tighten again. She repeated the motion, this time sharply inhaling at the sensation. Her mind was reeling, wanting to bring herself pleasure, wanting to bring herself off. But she remembered this was for Olivia. For Olivia.

She took a deep breath and dipped her fingers again, gathering both courage and more moisture. She then spread her legs further apart, making sure to give Olivia a good view, a good show. She could feel her face re-flush and her ears pink with the action and the knowledge of what Olivia could now see.

She took another deep breath. Then she began to move her fingers again. But not exactly by her own motivation. For now, in her mind's eye it was Olivia's hands playing over her, bringing her these feelings, these so incredibly intense feelings and pleasure, not her own. It was the pad of Olivia's finger playing over her clit. It was Olivia's hand inserting and removing the toy from her body, teasing her with varying speed and force and angle.

She moaned Olivia's name.

God it was so good. The speed of both hand and fingers increased. Fuck, she wasn't going to last much longer as she abandoned herself to the fantasy contained in her head but playing out through her fingers on her body. As the feelings and tension built, increased, coiled, she begged her lover, begged her for it a little harder, a little faster, begged her for more, begged her for release, baby, I'm so close, right there, yes, baby please, please... Liv, Yes!

With a final shove, Alex held the invading toy in place while she rubbed a single finger furiously over her clit.

And then it happened. It came at her and hit her like a freight train. Her back arched off the bed. Her internal muscles pulsed around the objected inserted in her, clenching down around the toy, gripping it and squeezing it painfully, pulling it deeper within her body with the strength of her orgasm as she called out her pleasure and the name given that pleasure over and over. Her finger continued its glorious movement, drawing out everything her body was feeling, fuck, everything it was feeling. She wanted so badly to close her legs around her own hand but somehow she managed to keep them open, letting Olivia see everything, hear everything, feel everything; letting Olivia know, wanting Olivia to know, needing Olivia to know it was her that made Alex feel this way, her for whom she felt this way, only her.

When the pulses finally slowed and her back relaxed back to the bed, Alex's hands both remained on her own body but both were now still. Her head turned to the side, eyes closed, breathing labored but calming.

That's when she felt Olivia's lips against hers and a hand not her own pulling the silicon toy from her warmth. She hadn't even realized Olivia had gotten up but she gladly accepted and returned the kiss as she moaned at the removal of the fullness from her body then reveled in the feeling of Olivia's hand now covering her sex; protecting it, treasuring it. Olivia's tongue traced the contours of Alex's lips before she sat next to Alex and pulled back to look at the blonde.

Eyes as bright as they'd been all night, as full of love and wonder as Alex had ever seen, Olivia finally spoke, "Thank you," she whispered, hand still covering Alex, pressed into her minutely.

Alex reached up and placed one of her hands on the side of Olivia's face. The detective turned into it, kissing the palm, closing her eyes. Alex held on to the moment, allowing both of them to recover. When Olivia reopened her eyes and opened her mouth to speak, Alex silenced her by sitting up again. She cradled Olivia's face in both hands and from her heart spoke the words that she again knew Olivia needed to hear, "Know you don't ever have to doubt what you are to me and what you mean to me." Alex moved her fingers from Olivia's cheek to put them over Olivia's lips, again silencing the protest or whatever other response the detective was about to give so she could continue, "I know you still will sometimes, but I also hope you know you don't have to."

Olivia swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, opened her mouth to speak, swallowed hard again. Then finally managed to get out, "A part of me does know. Always." Olivia turned and kissed one of Alex's palms again before continuing, "It's just... I don't know why... sometimes I, I..."

"I know," Alex placed a soft kiss on Olivia's lips, "I know."

Olivia nodded, grateful once again that words weren't necessary. The two women were silent after that; content in the silence, foreheads against each other, enjoying the closeness. Olivia finally broke the silence with the words that she'd said before but which bore repeating, "I love you."

Alex pulled back so she could look directly in Olivia's eyes, "I love you, too, Liv." After several seconds of staring, however, she then broke into a smile which turned both playful and seductive, signaling the end of their tender moment but the beginning of something new, "So much so that I want to show you again," she reached for the bottom hem of Olivia's shirt and started lifting it up Olivia's body, her own eyes turning hungry as she finished her thought, "But I want to show you on you this time."

Olivia returned Alex's smile and raised her arms, happily allowing the blonde undress her.