Short ficlet written for Porn Battle VII on livejournal. AU for pilot episode of The Big Bang Theory, inspired by scenes from the unaired version. Followed by The Plato's Stepchildren Gambit.
Penny has no idea what she's doing. She just broke up with Kurt, like, a week ago. Her new apartment is a mess, there are still boxes in the hall that she doesn't have room to bring inside, and to top it all off her water hasn't been turned on yet. And now she's sitting with her ass practically in the bathroom sink in her new neighbor's apartment with her tongue in his mouth, her hand palming his cock through his ridiculous plaid pants, and his hand sliding up the inside of her thigh. But God help her if this isn't the best damn thing she's done in years.
But, seriously, what the fuck? From the way Sheldon (Sheldon? Is that right? Oh God, she isn't even sure she knows his name!) pulls back, she's pretty sure she just said that out loud.
"The only rational explanation is a sudden increase in pheromone production," he says as the hand sliding up her thigh finally hits the jackpot. "The emotional stress you're experiencing, combined with the physical exertion of unpacking your belongings, has triggered the release. For my part, the abortive attempt at fraudulently selling my potential offspring along with the prospect of mid-morning masturbation has likely jump-started my libido and increased the level of androstadienone in my perspiration. Hence, our current situation."
"How are you even talking?" she groans as he bends down to punctuate whatever the hell he was saying by licking a path from her throat down to her breasts. She's starting to get pissed that he's not as into this as she is, conveniently ignoring the evidence under her hand. She fumbles to undo his ugly pants and when they fall to the floor, she catches just a glimpse of white briefs and stick-thin legs.
Then she doesn't see much of anything because he twists his fingers just so and her head falls back against the wall.
"Fascinating," Sheldon (it's got to be Sheldon; where else would she have gotten that name?) murmurs. She opens her eyes to find him staring down at his hand between her legs. He has one eyebrow raised and it's so incredibly familiar even if she can't place it right this second.
It's also really, really hot and she wonders how many more chances she'll get to figure out why.