DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Wars.

The Phantom Library Card

LUKE SKYWALKER

Books: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Lightsabers

The Moron's Guide to Parental Relationships

How to Raise Your IQ in 10 Days

Are YOU a Slobbering Idiot???

Magazines: Jedi Insider

Movies: O Father, Where Art Thou?

LEIA ORGANA

Books: Every Girl's Guide to Starting a Rebellion

Dating the Smuggler and Where it Will Get You

Hair Styles that Rocked the Galaxy

When Your Son Turns Sith…

Magazines: Alderaan Style

Movies: Alderaan Beauty

HAN SOLO

Books: Charming Slugs

Help! A Mandalorian is After Me!

119 Argument Starters

How to Deal with the Protocol Droid in Your Life

Shyriiwook for Beginners

Magazines: Corellian Sleemos

Movies: Nerfherder

LANDO CALRISSIAN

Books: Choosing Your First Freighter

How to Successfully Cheat at Sabaac

The Complete Guide to Destroying Superweapons

Imperial Weakness: Making a Deal with Minimum Losses

Business Tips for Those Not into Business

Magazines: Smooth Boys Own

Movies: Bespin Slickers

CHEWBACCA

Books: Hangin' with Rogues

Taming the Tangles—Keeping Your Fur Spiffy

The Galaxy's Top 10 Forest Planets

Is My Cousin an Ewok? The Top Wookiee Questions Answered

Copiloting for Intelligent Life-Forms

Magazines: Furballz

Movie: Dances with Wookiees

C-3PO

Books: The Don't Understand Me! Comprehending Humans

3 Million Forms of Communication

3 Million More Forms of Communication

Encyclopedia of Astromech Droids

Odds for Any Situation

Magazines: Hard Metal Professors

Movies: Droid in the Iron Mask

R2-D2

Books: I Survived the Purge! True Tales of Lucky Droids

The Complete Guide to Annoying Protocol Droids

Piloting through the Clone Wars

When Your Mistress's Hubby Turns Baddy…

Are YOU Brave?

Magazines: Astroboy

Movies: One Flew Over the Artoo's Nest

DARTH VADER

Books: Father/Son Weekend Activities

Dispose of Your Master in Five Easy Steps

Force-Choking for Dummies

Hiding Your Identity

When Imperial Officers Annoy You…

Magazines: Successfully Ruling the Galaxy

Movies: SithFellas

YODA

Books: Small is Powerful

Improve Your Grammar Today!

It's Not Easy Being Green

Teaching Idiots: With a Special Section on the Skywalkers

I Lived to 900!

Magazines: Living at 50 cm

Movies: Yodinator

PALPATINE

Books: The Seductions of the Dark Side

The Braniac's Guide to Controlling a War

Unnatural: Get the Full Power of the Dark Side WITHOUT Shipping & Handling!

Dealing With Wrinkles

Twist the Law to YOUR Advantage

Magazine: Hideous and Proud of It

Movie: I Know What You Did to the Death Star

OBI-WAN KENOBI

Books: Rebellious Padawans

When Your Padawan Gets a Padawan

Was My Master Playing Favorites?

When Negotiations Don't Work…

66—Who Will Survive?

Magazine: Coruscant Beat

Movie: Men in Brown

ANAKIN SKYWALKER:

Books: Parenting for Temperamental Jedi

How to Break the Jedi Code in Seven Easy Steps

Living with Cybernetics

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Revenge

Does She Think I'm Hitting on My Padawan? and Other True Stories

Magazines: Coruscant Hotties

Movies: Dude Where's My Lightsaber?

DARTH MAUL

Books: Tattooing for Dummies

I Don't Want a Girlfriend, I Want Power!

It Came from Iridonia…Where Do Your Fave Sith Lords Come From?

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Constructing Unique Lightsabers

Only Half the Man I Used to Be

Magazines: Sith Punk'd

Movies: The Scarlet and the Black

PADME AMIDALA

Books: Hairstyles for the Daring

Diplomatic Solutions vs. Aggressive Negotiations: Which Will Get You Further?

Ultimate Wardrobe

Choosing a Decoy: Which of Your Handmaidens Will Fool Your Foes?

Buddy Turned Baddy: What to Do When He Turns to the Dark Side

Magazines: Naboo Fashionistas

Movies: The Little Padmaid

COUNT DOOKU

Books: Start a Separatist Movement Today!

The Encyclopedia of Geonosis: Inhabitants, Terrain, Culture, Vehicles, Weapons, and More

Neimoidians are Such Wimps: Dealing with those Jellyfish in Politics

The Complete Guide to Blueprinting Superweapons

Is My Sith Master Against Me?

Magazines: Separatist Today

Movies: The Exorsith